|
Mother is so annoying.
Even I don't know what to do.
O.K., my boyfriends of 9 months is the greatest guy I have ever met. We are planning to get married too. But there is a problem. His mother. A couple of days ago, he called me and told me that his mother told him to tell me to give her respect and to answer her when she says who is calling, or I can't talk to him, and he can't talk to me. Even though, I do give her respect, and she never answers the phone and asks me that, considering that I usually only call his cell phone. I want to punch her in the face like there is no freakin tomorrow. But I want to know what to do to figure out what she wants, why she hates me, what I did to her, and what I should do to solve this stupid pointless problem.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
For the moment, ignore it.
If the situation she is complaining about (you not saying who you are on the phone) isn't happening, or else, happens so rarely that you can easiliy correct it (by simply saying who you are) then ignore it, because it isn't really a problem at all.
Likely has nothing at all do with you. Wait it out and see if anything else comes from it. More likely, in my opinion anyways, that his mother was upset with him about something else, and decide to drag this dumb little topic out just to be difficult.
Besides, if he has a cell phone, it's not really a problem at all. Don't get your panties in a bunch over nothing at all.
]
When you're over there, talk to her. Sit her down, and calmly ask her these questions. Be nothing but nice and respectful towards her, and just accept what she has to say. Don't cut her off, let her finish and then make your statements. When you're done speaking to each other, thank her for her time, and go to be with your boyfriend.
If she still doesn't like you, accept it. But still give her the same decency and respect that you usually would.
]
I have to agree with Siren Cytherea in that it is probably because his mother is afraid of losing him. My own mother in law refused to speak to me for over three months just before I married her son. We never did get onto a particularly good footing although we tolerated each other (she died a few years back). It can be hard to let go of your children and as a mother I can now understand why, but you have to let your children go with your blessing and your boyfriends mother needs to do this too. Otherwise she may find that your boyfriend will no longer wish to see her quite so often. There is no point in losing your temper with her because at the moment, whilst he is still living at home, she will win. Talk to her calmly and as an adult explaining that you wish to resolve this problem amicably. If you treat her with respect, expect her to reciprocate in kind. I hope it all works out okay and good luck with the wedding plans.
]
Well that sounds a lot like a situation I had with my last boyfriend. His mother absolutely HATED me (and still does), and I never figured out why. (Well, I figured it out, but I never heard it from her.)
I did, however, decide to confront her about it. I never got to, since we broke up, but the idea was still there. Lol
Anyway, I'm gonna take a wild guess and say she's threatened by you because you're gonna take her baby away from her. Does she know you're planning to get married? That's a big issue with mothers. My last guy's mom thought we were planning that when we weren't, and it made her hate me even more because she wanted to keep him close to her. She was afraid that if he latched onto me, she'd lose him. Chances are your guy's mom is worried about that, too.
If I were in your shoes, I would call his house phone and ask to speak to his mom. In this situation, I'd be very nice about it, and say something like "Mrs. [insert last name here, unless you're on a first name basis], I feel like there's been a lot of tension between us lately, and it's bothering me. I'd like to discuss what's going on sometime soon." That way, she'll see that you have a lot of respect for her (even if you hate her, at least TRY to pretend you don't. Trust me.)
During this discussion, keep your cool, and pretend to be little miss innocent. You've done nothing wrong, so you can't figure out what's wrong, and let her know that. Let her explain it to you, and if she can't, then she needs to know that there's no reason for her to worry, and there's no reason for her to dislike you. You've done nothing to hurt her, or her son.
Good luck!
-Siren =)
]
More Questions: |