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Failure to keep an errection
I am 17 and my boyfriend is 20. He has had sexual reltionships before but when me and him have sexual intercourse his errection doesnt last long. He says that he doesnt know why it happens and that it hasnt happend before. Even when i use my hand to pleasure him, he holds an errection until he ejaculates. He insists that its not my fault but i cant help but think that it is. im worried that we wont be able to have sex properly.what can i do?
Yours...Confused.x.
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Interestingly enough, the loss of an erection in males after ejaculation is completely normal. The nerves- which initiate an erection- during an "orgasm" there is a release of electrical activity through the nerves in the penis (and the brain- remember that's where you really have an orgasm- men and women)- and then the nerves "shut off" this is called a "refractory period" in neuro physiology. It is normal and happens to all males- they lose thier erections until this period is over and the nerves are "reset" for the next time. In general, when men get older- they are able to sustain an erection longer, however, there is an increase in the refractory period- while in younger men the erection is longer (quicker orgasm) but the refractory time is generally shorter.
Males in general in sexual intercourse are able to achieve orgasm quicker than most female, and there is nothing wrong with that. Anatomically and physiologically- womens' main sexual "pleasure" area in the genital area- the clitoris- is not related to childbirth (ie regular sexual intercourse)- however it is different in males where the penis is involved in both. (If you take a sexual psychology or neurophysiology class or anatomic evolution class in college, you may get into a discussion about this).
Be safe,
AK
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Has he tried masturbating to orgasm before he becomes intimate with you? It will take a bit for him to get hard again, but then it will take longer for him to come to orgasm again.
Sabine
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This is not your problem. There may be other things going on in his life that he is concerned about which will in turn affect his erection. He can obviously maintain an erection during hand play which is a good signal. The best thing to do is to give him a lot of encouragement, cuddles and loving words. Try not to force the issue because the male ego can be quite fragile. This will right itself very quickly and you will be able to go back to normal relations.
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