I am an advice hound. I love to give advice, get advice, read advice columns. I love telling people what to do ; D
Truly, I have a love for people and an honest desire to see every individual excel and succeed in their personal lives, to shed themselves of as many burdens as possible and enjoy this strange and terrible and wonderful gift that is LIFE
Location: Los Angeles
Occupation: advice guru and life coach
Member Since: June 9, 2009
Answers: 900
Last Update: February 5, 2012
Visitors: 32919
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my boyfriends daughter is now sick and my kids are not i also got sick after she was back with us after a few days and he says i blame everything on his daughter why does he say this to me he does it quite often? (link)
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Have you considered that he might be right? Sit down in a time of peace and discuss it. And be open to what he has to say. It may hurt, and you may want to get defensive, but he may be right.
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ok. First of all i'm a virgin. I'm 20. I am in college adn i don't mean to sound full of myself but i'm am semi pretty. I am in the best sorority at my school. HOWEVER, I AM SUCH A PRUDE. I can see it/feel, like i get it. I love making out with guys but whenever it goes past that- i kind of freak out, i don't like it, and i get nervous. I don't really understand. I like the IDEA of it, but I don't like the execution. How am I everr going to lose my virginity. I don't really know what to do. help.... (link)
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This question makes me so sad. Its such a shame you think you are a prude just because you aren't ready for sex. You need to stop thinking about sex in terms of losing your virginity and start thinking about it in terms of sharing something extremely precious and priceless with someone worthy of your love who is completely committed to you. I understand that's not what you see around you every day, but don't be fooled. Sex is serious business and has serious consequences. I'm a big believer in women's intuition. I think we are trained to ignore our intuition and label it as paranoia or craziness. But there is something to it. Your intuition is telling you that you are not ready for sex. Its telling you that sex is something special and you only get to lose your virginity once. Don't waste it on some random dude just because you don't want to feel like a prude anymore. Trust me, you'll hate yourself for it. Just relax with this. Take sex off the table for now and just enjoy being around friends and cute boys and getting through school. When the time is right, you won't be worrying about any of this stuff. Until then, listen to your gut and don't believe anyone or anything that tells you you're a prude. You're not. You're a bright young woman who is really in touch with herself, in a mature way. You recognize you are not ready for this. That's it. Don't pressure yourself. It'll happen when its right. Until then, have fun, be yourself, and NEVER be ashamed. You are perfect just the way you are.
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i am 21 and my boyfriend is 22. we have been together for 3 years almost. the first two years we were on and off and had a lot of issues. we broke up for 4-6 months and saw other people and completly stopped talking to each other. we got back together and things are going great, we have learned a lot.
i recently moved in with him 3 weeks ago. i knew he watched porn before and i didnt mind if he did. if i was away for a week id expect him to because im not around. now im around every day because we live together. we still have sex regularly. sometimes (more now to me it seems) he hasnt been ejaculating (which makes me feel like im not good enough) he use to comment everytime the sex was great or good. we use to speak "dirty" to each other before too. he still comments on my body and how much he loves it.
for example we had sex last night and this morning and then i catch him a couple hours ago just watching porn but not touching himself.
the problem is i feel like he watches a lot of porn. i dont know how to talk to him because i dont want us to have a outrageous fight and i have no clue how to express myself to him. i dont feel like im as good as i use to be. i feel like he wants other females. i dont like this feeling and i just need to know how to handle it. Thank You (link)
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A lot of people watch porn every now and then. Not many people watch porn while their partner is close enough to catch them or just a few hours after having sex. This sounds a little out of the normal range. Porn can become an addiction, just like a drug addiction. For men, once they become tangled in the addiction, it changes how they look at women. You've been noticing a change in the way he reacts to you, sexually. You also feel like he watches too much porn. Go with your instincts. They are telling you something is wrong. Chances are, he's been dealing with this for a while. Is just becoming more obvious to you because you live together. You need confront him about this and tell him it is making you feel uncomfortable because of the amount he's been watching and the changes you've seen in him. If he seems understanding, ask him to please refrain from porn at least while you are in the house. That's only fair. If he gets defensive and denies it, I think you need to rethink your living situation. Because it can only get worse from here if things aren't remedied. Trust me, porn is a bigger, more serious issue than many people know. I've known close friends and even some family who have gone through porn addiction and it is real. And even just in the few paragraphs you have written I can see the first signs of addiction. You do have a problem, here, I think. You may not need to break up, but maybe living together isn't such a great idea right now.
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so i started off this one year program as this really chill awsome girl, then i started going out and drinking a lot and i slowly but sureley started really sluttying it up.
i hookedup with an entire group of friends and ir eally wrecked my name.
i really really want to change and get my friends back and let people see the girl they loved at the beginning.
how do i do this? (link)
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It sounds like your problems are related to alcohol. So the biggest and quickest thing you could do to change is to stay away from the booze for a while. See what happens.
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Over the months Ive become to love theater and acting , and always thought I could be that one to be one t.v .
Im a begginer and have no clue where to start in this industry , and tips and advice .
(link)
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Start with an acting class and go from there. Before you finish the class, ask the teacher for more ideas on where to go from there.
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Well I am a person who has had a hidden life and it is time for me to come out. I made choices that led me away from my priorities and my friends and family. I am a good looking 19 year old and I have made some decitions that will follow me the rest of my life. I just spent the majority of last year behind bars and i will tell that story to those who are interested. My life is an open book now a days and i have thrown in the towel. I am living back with my parents but i am looking for a new place based on my income. There is this girl that has waited for me my entire life and i think i love her. She has also made some poor decitions but not as bad as mine. Im not sure if it is the idea of her and having a family that i can care for and work hard for. By the way she has two kids from another guy who is out of the picture and if he ever comes around us uninvited he has to deal with me. i want to love these kids. I want to have something to work for and make money for instead of just bills and taxes... and restitution... I have my whole life ahead of me but i don't want to go too crazy because of the monkey on my back after dealing with and going through the justice system. Details are available to those who are interested. So my final question and the reason for (via the advice) is probably should i take her and the kids in and stay in my home town or should i move far away from it all and start over. LIKE i said, more details are probably needed to give me good advice but this is the basic problem. I want a family but no kids of my own for a few years so this is kind of the instant happiness that i might be looking for. What should i do? (link)
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You just got out of prison and you are working to get your life back together. Rebuilding a life after a conviction is very, very difficult, especially finding work. Its not fair to drag a family into that right now. It will cause a lot of unnecessary stress on you, her, and the kids. I know you want to help and be there for her, but you have nothing to offer right now. You live with your mother. You are still paying restitution. You don't have a life plan yet. Get yourself together. Work, save money, find your own place and make some goals for your life. Start surrounding yourself with people who are positive and have their own families and goals. Start learning what it means to happy with yourself before you look to other people to make you happy. Then, when you are stable and able to provide, you can come back for her and her kids, if its still in the cards. That's the best gift you can give a young mom. No woman with kids needs a man who is still feeling his way around and isn't happy with himself. It may start out ok, but it will always end in heartache. Get yourself together and THEN think about a relationship with someone else. You won't regret it. I promise.
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17/f
So my boyfriend's parents disapprove of me. Why? They thought I didn't want to interact or become a part of their family. They kept telling my boyfriend that, and he kept trying to make me visit them. Yes, I do believe it's my fault. Before we started dating, I worked at a restaurant as a hostess. His family would always go there to eat, his mom was always happy, but whenever I saw his dad he always frowned. The owner of the restaurant knew the family personally, and they found out that I liked the oldest brother (boyfriend), and the owner told me the dad was scary. So that got me quite nervous. When we started dating, I wanted to make a good impression, I really liked him. I wanted to get my hair cut (my bangs was covering half my face), I wanted to dress nicely. But what was also difficult, was that I went to school full time and I worked 24 hours/week. My boyfriend kept telling me, that to them... Looks do not matter, as long as I'm myself and I go as how I am.
But I kept getting nervous about it, he has a family of 8. His dad was a doctor, my parents put pressure on me. And the thing is, I never learned how to use chopsticks. I was raised to use a fork, my mom never placed chopsticks in my hands before... I thought it would make me look terrible, because his 5 year old sister knows how to use it. He was family oriented, I wasn't. Our family was completely different, my family is poor or middle class, and his dad is a doctor. They have high expectations of their children. My parents, just want my sister and I to look for happiness.
So, it took me a month to see them. I automatically liked the mom, but I was still uncomfortable around his family. I was really shy. His siblings never smiled at me, other than the younger sister. His brother always disliked me. And when I met his dad, he didn't smile, and I had this vibe that he didn't like me. So I felt more uncomfortable. I worked at the mall, so I didn't get off work until 9 so I wouldn't be home until 9:30 PM, I went to work right after school. And the other times I would use to go study for school. Him and I thought that it would be disrespectful to go over and visit late, because that would be the time that he would have my boyfriend send me home, and all of the children would go to sleep.
So now, basically... His parents don't like me anymore. His mom told his dad not to judge because they didn't know what was going on, but then later on, his mom started disliking me. So we broke up once because he was getting so much pressure, but we got back together later on. And he hid it from his parents, but now he's tired of it.
I told him that I would try to win their approval again. I said nothing is impossible, it would be hard, but I'm willing to go through hell with him to get their approval. And if it doesn't work out in the end, at least he would know that I tried. I said that, it's always going to be like that, someone will always disapprove of their significant other but at the end, they're bound to be happy for that person because they're happy. He told me that he was too family oriented to do that, and that he honestly can't see me become part of his family. I'm hurt, I really am.
I know I screwed up from before, there's not a day where it doesn't pass my mind about it. I made this mess, and I want to clean it up. I don't want his family to be the reason why we break up, because there are times where I still wanted to see them, but he kept me away because he thinks there's nothing that can be done. I told him it's better them knowing about us, then him lying to them.
What should I do? What should I tell him to have him realize it will work out? (link)
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I'm wondering if your boyfriend is using this situation as an excuse to keep his emotional distance from you. Because on one hand, you are right. When you truly care for someone, outside influences don't carry as much weight. If he was really committed to you he would tell his family that he wanted you in his life and they had better get used to you. But he can't and won't. I'm thinking he may be moving on from this relationship and he's too chicken to be truthful. Its easier to blame his family since you are already having issues. That being said, if you two are still together and you want to work things out, you need to do some work.Set up a meeting (dinner or coffee) with his parents and explain to them what you said here. Tell them you were so nervous about making a good impression that you are afraid that nervousness made you look stuck up or rude. But that wasn't your intention and you just want another chance to prove you are worth knowing. I think you may have judged them as well, and maybe you owe them an apology. You assumed that because they were well-off, that they would look down on you. But I can pretty much guarantee that one or both of those parents has been poor at one point in their life. They probably deserve as much of a chance to make a good impression as you do. And imagine what kind of an impression you would make for admitting your mistakes. They will be impressed by that, it is a sign of maturity. You don't have to expect to become best friends or even an official member of the family. But you can become someone who they enjoy having around and feel comfortable with. You made a mistake in the beginning. If you can, you have to admit it and make it right. If they won't meet with you, write a note or letter. If your boyfriend won't arrange a meeting, maybe you need to rethink your relationship and how committed he is to it. Good luck.
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I received on 01/16/2011, i had unprteceted sex on 01/16/2011. Was i in the safe zone to receive my february period.? (link)
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There is no real safe zone, so no. Take a test.
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I have talked with my son many times about going to college and he has not gone as of yet, and is 35 yrs old. What else can I do to encourage him to go to school, and make a better life for himself. (link)
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You don't indicate what is wrong with his life the way it is now. Does he work? Does he pay his own bills? Does he have his own place? College isn't for everyone, and it doesn't guarantee success. If he doesn't want to go, you can't make him. Its his choice.
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I think I might need to see a psychologist... or maybe a psychiatrist. I'm not sure what the difference is. But i'll tell you why I feel like this and maybe you can give me a second opinion so I know if i should approach my parents about this:
I think I have a major problem with paranoia.
When I go to my locker at school, i'll get my books out and lock it back, but sometimes i have to go check it three or four times to make sure it's locked even though I know it is.
Everytime i read about a disease or it is talked about, i get scared to death that i have it. I honestly freak out, i research it and even go as far as trying to get tested for it, and it could be anything from brain cancer to hep c. For no reason, i get paranoid that i have it.
I'm constantly scared, for every little reason. And i get paranoid about every little thing.
(link)
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Yes, you should see someone about this if you can. The best place to start is to see your family doctor, explain your fears, and ask to be referred to a therapist. If you can get on top of this now, you will have a better chance at a normal future. Good luck.
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16/f
I was raped over a year ago, but forgot about it or never thought about it, (automatically suppressed it) and after a year of therapy, I'm finally talking about it in my sessions. It feels as if it happened yesterday (as stupid as that sounds) and I've no appetite, I don't care for my relationships with my friends very much (they're all leaving for college in a couple months anyway), and...I've basically become lethargy's best friend. (also, the stress and severe acid reflex is making me puke frequently after anytime I eat any decently proportioned meal)
I used to be extremely fit. Triathlons, cross country, bicycling, and such; however, now more often than not, I find myself crying at random times during the day and or sleeping. I'm neglecting my school work, and I'm letting myself go. (not that I'm fat, but my cardio gone to shit)
My best friend has severe depression and at one point blamed me for his attempt suicide (he didn't pull it off. just a damaged liver), because he said that I was the only one who understood him and that he was in love with me.
My other friend, close to me and my friend with severe depression, a little while ago, blamed me (i'm the only one around now-a-days) for his manic depression and chronic drinking.
My relationship with my last boyfriend of a year fell through in November, and although I've plenty of people interested, I haven't the effort to get with anyone else without having to worry about going numb whenever it comes to becoming sexually intimate with me. Also, my last boyfriend was 19 and although he wasn't the most emotionally stable person, he was at least emotionally responsible. I can't stand my peers. They're confused, horny for their own good, and most importantly, far too emotionally dependent for me to handle right now.
I'm not going to try to kill myself. That, in itself, just sounds... exasperating. I just want this all to stop. My body won't do what I ask of it (hold down my meals) and I can't think anymore. I'm a very proud person, so I find this extremely difficult simply stating that...right now, at the moment and for the last three weeks, I've been and am completely helpless.
I know it sounds ridiculous, but if there's anyone out there who has any ideas, well, they would greatly be appreciated. Thanks. (link)
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Well, you're still in therapy, so that's good. Listen, a year is not nearly enough time to move on from something like this. I know you think you should, but you really need to give yourself a break. You are grieving. YOu need to give yourself permission to grieve and go through this process. It will take a while. It will take a lot longer than you think it should. Don't get frustrated with yourself. Allow yourself to feel all the things you are feeling. Understand that things WILL be confusing and upside down for a while. This is all part of the process. I know that doesn't sound encouraging, but remember, you can't get to the other side if you don't cross the road first. This is you crossing the road. Its not fun, its not cool, its taking a hell of a lot longer than you wish it would, but it is what it is. Keep opening up to your therapist. Keep doing the work in therapy. In the meantime, do your best to put yourself around positive people. Your 'so-called' best friend who blamed you for his weakness - that's not someone you need to be around. Stay away from boyfriends for a while. You need to heal. If you feel like its impossible to stay out of a relationship, bring that up with your therapist. You need to discover why it is you feel you NEED to be with someone at your age. 16 is quite young. Being with a bf will make your recovery take longer. As the fog starts to lift in your heart, take baby steps to get back out there doing the things you love. You don't have to start training for triathalons, but could you start riding your bike once a week? Maybe join a riding group or club that meets once or twice a month? Could you start going for walks with a family member or a chill friend? Don't look at it as getting your old life back. That's gone. You are a new person now. Find out who that new person is, and learn to love her. Take small steps, don't focus on the big picture just yet. You will come through this, I know you will. And the best part is, when you do come out on top, you'll have an amazing story to share with other girls who are going through what you are right now. And you will be able to help get them through, because you'll know just how it feels. Good luck.You can do this!
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okay sooooo Ive been going out with this guy and I really like him.This morning he was great and all loving holding hands and kissing and then after 3rd hour today he told me he needed to clear his head (something was off about him). Some time alone. And asked if we can be friends for right now. I said we could. And he said thanks. So I dont know if that means he doesnt like me. Or hes not sure, or what
(link)
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I'm sorry. It means he was breaking up with you. He just was too chicken to say it like that.
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Hi!I'm Kristine 24 years old from Philippines but currently working in South Korea.My boyfriend's mother send me an email telling me that she's happy about me and her son and she would like to meet me someday.I want to respond to that email but I don't know what to say.Can you help me? (link)
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Thank her for the kind email and tell her you look forward to meeting her someday as well. Tell her she's done a wonderful job of raising her son (moms like to hear that kind of stuff!) and you enjoy being around him. It doesn't need to be long or fancy, just polite. She will appreciate that. If she tells you again that she would like to meet you, it will be up to your boyfriend to arrange the meeting, so be sure he is ok with that. Good luck!
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I need to vent, I am SO tired of hearing from every single person that i meet that I'm sooo shy and quiet-yes i think i know myself by now thanks. Seriously why is it such a huge deal that everyone has to comment on it? Yes, im quiet and shy, but it's usually only around people that i dont know. When I'm around friends and family im pretty outgoing and I talk...but when i meet new people, I just cant help it, im a quiet person. I just want to snap when someone says it, its like yes i know im quiet lol, not everyone is extremely bubbly and loud! Is being shy and quiet really that big of a deal to people? Some people say "well maybe you should be more outgoing", but thats not how i am naturally, im quiet! (link)
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Don't take it too seriously. Don't be offended by it, but learn to laugh at yourself a bit. Next time someone says that to you, smile, shrug and nod and say "I'm a thinker.What can I say?" and leave it at that. It takes all kinds in this world. Shy people AND outgoing people. Your personality is just as valuable the next. Don't forget that.
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Before I say anything sorry if this is in the wrong category.
I know it sounds stupid but I'm not sure if I'm mean to my friends or just really close. Sometimes I'm kinda rude, not rude rude but joking around, and I'll whack them with a book, like not really hard but playing around, but we whack each other a lot, so. I can also be really stubborn and sometimes I blame them for non-serious things like dropping something, or say I told you so. I like to tell myself I'm not being that mean but I think I am and I feel bad about it. Is this normal or am I mean, and if I am how can I stop? Thank you
*Also I'm 14 and a chick (link)
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Its very good that you think about these things. Its called being self aware. Its an important skill for growing into a likeable adult. You're not perfect. You never will be. But here's a trick - if you learn to laugh at yourself and have a sense of humor about your faults, you'll find others will laugh with you, and like being around you, despite your faults. Strive to be better, but when you mess up, laugh, apologize, and move on.
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well i'm a 22 f and i started cutting at about 16. it started due to the death of my mother and then the remarriage of my father to a total control freak who for some reason hated me from day one. but now i don't know why i'm still cutting i've delt with alot but most is better now. i was in a really abusive relationship but now the guy i'm with now treats me great and we've talked about marriage and everything. i get along with my dad and step mom and have my own place and a job and great friends. whats wrong with me i still cut even though nothing is bad. have i become dependant on how it makes me feel better. ps i was on antidepressants but they made it worse so i was taken off the at 18. what can i do? please help (link)
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You need to go back to the doctor and get a referral to a therapist. This isn't something you can handle alone. Cutting isn't just about what's happening right now, it has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself generally, and what's welling up inside of you. Antidepressants can sometimes backfire on a teenager because your brain is literally still developing and growing. You're 22 now, it may be time to try again, but of course,that means going back to the doctor. And it may take a few different brands or dosages before you get the right combination, so be sure not to give up too soon if you feel they aren't working right away. Cutting usually starts out as a way to find release, and can morph into a way to have control over something in your life. You need a therapist or a counselor to help you understand this problem, to help you understand what you are trying to release, and what you are trying to control. The good news is, you can get better. You absolutely can. The bad news is, it will take work. But you've made it this far, you can push on a little farther. Your happiness is worth it. Good luck.
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i'm 18 and my boyfriend will be 18 in a couple weeks. we have been going out for 3 years almost and were never allowed to sleep over, ( my mom doesnt like the idea) now i get that in her house its her rules and thats how she wins the arguments always. however, i am now 18 and i feel that i can sleep at his house. his parents find it okay becuase we have been going out for so long. his mom wanted to throw him a party for his birthday and thought it was going to get late and instead of me leaving stay at his house and sleep in the spare room just to make my mom at ease. she said she would even talk to her if she had concerns. i just want to be able to tell my mom what is going on and her not to say no. I mean i try to go about this as if you want me to lie to you fine, but i can tell you the truth and youll know what is really going on. i have talked to her about sleeping over before and she says when i have my own place i can do what i want when i want how i want. and i get that thats totally reasonable, but i dont want to move out at 18. to me if we have been going out this long and im not pregnant then its not going to happen. another reason i want to stay at his house more is its just convienent. and hes leaving at the end of the summer across the country so my chances of seeing him ever again are slim. i mean we may not work out we may stay in touch ill visit him, but i want to make the most of what we have now and not have to be treated as a 12 year old girl. i'm a over all good person i listen to my mom i rarley give her a hard time i tell her the truth i tell her where i am and what time she wants me home ill be there i keep up my grades to an 80 or above i have two jobs where i dont ever take time off from i have a car that i pay for. i mean i show all the responsibilites of a grown person and yet i feel like i cant do anything. how do i go about this? opinions please! (link)
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When you have kids you'll get it. In the meantime, you just have to accept the fact that when you live under someone else's roof, you have to follow their rules. That's why getting out on your own as soon as you can would be a good thing. Until you can do that (graduating, college, job, whatever you have to wait for to leave), you just have to deal with her rules. Period. Its not about trusting you or not trusting you. Its about being responsible for your own daughter until she is out on her own. Your mom is responsible for you until you leave her home. End of story. I know its not fun to hear, and it may not even be fair. But its just the way it is.
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hey im 19 years old and go to college. ever since my semester at school started ive been so busy studying and trying to do the best i can. I also work too only part time though. But I need to make money so I'm working overtime to buy a car. It seems like every day I have no time for myself and I've noticed I haven't been able to hang out with my friends because I either had too much homework or had to work. It really stresses me out. I haven't had fun in awhile. I don't even have time to write this to you but I really need some help. I never procrastinate for homework it's just when I'm done with 1 assignment I have so much other homework I have to finish in my other classes it's ridiculous. I'm starting to lack in my appearance because I have no time to get ready in the morning and I skip showers because I have to finish my homework. I also stay up really late to finish my homework and study it sucks! My boyfriend wanted to talk to me on the phone tonight but I was so focused on doing a quiz online I didn't have time for him. I also want to do good in school because college is important and I need to make money to buy a new car. It's just hard...I am really stressed and need someone to help I know there's nothing to do really. But I'm getting really tired and have no time to rest, eat, take care of myself or anything and I'm taking a full load of classes. UGH please help if you understand! I can't just take a day off from school or I'll be behind. I could take a few days off work but I need to get a car soon I'm desperate for that. HELP! (link)
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Keep in mind that this is only for a short time. You will not be working this hard forever. You say you are saving for a car. How close are you to buying one? Will you be able to ease up on your work schedule once you have it? Things are stressful right now, but summer will be here soon and you'll have the money you need for your car... soon. Think about that when things get crazy. REmember, its only for a season. In due time, things will calm down and you can find some rest. In the meantime, don't be afraid to schedule some 'mini-breaks' in your day. 30min-1hr of relaxation - talking with friends, surfing the net, long baths, whatever you like. And before you say "I just can't spare the time!", think about how much time a complete mental breakdown will take. Find little ways to give your brain a break throughout the day. Your studies will be better for it.
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7 months now I have had a really strong long distance relationship. I'm so confused on what to do. We are only in high school and everyone thinks its too young to "Love Someone" but I think they're wrong. However what if we do break up in the future its gonna crush me. Should I just go ahead and do it even though we both love each other. Why does everything have to be so hard... why does love have to be so hard (link)
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Love is risky. Welcome to 'real life'. Sounds like its real enough to you. Cross that bridge when you get to it and enjoy the time you have together now.
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Before I explain the story, I just want to note: WE DID NOT STEAL A THING.
My friend and I were at Walmart today in the make-up section and I noticed a man who was looking at us in the aisle next to ours. Clearly this was odd because most middle-aged men don't wear makeup... so as my friend and I are walking I notice this guy run and hide behind these two board game boxes and peeking through them to watch us, then he peeked his head out and made eye-contact with me. Then we turned a corner and AGAIN he's looking at us through the fitness section. Clearly he thought we were shoplifting.
I DID NOT have any intention on taking anything, nor did I attempt to. My friend however, put lipstick in her bag. The second I saw this man following us, I informed my friend to remove anything she may have put in her bag, she did, and we continued walking. As we were walking to go pay for my item, I saw him again follow us to the registers. [Nothing was stolen!]
As we were walking out, the man was standing at the exit with a woman, and watched us walk out. He didn't say a word to us or ask to check our bags, as we got in my car and proceeded to back out and drive off, I saw him in my rear-view mirror at the entrance to the store with a walky-talky in his hand.
BASICALLY, I have NO idea if this man took my plate #, I didn't do ANYTHING, and my friend put everything she had planned on taking back. They hadn't asked to search our bags, so I have no idea why he'd have followed us outside and he was clearly looking at my car cause he was at the end of the aisle my car was in.
Any idea what this man was doing? He had no right to take my plate # if that's what he did, I didn't do anything nor did he catch us doing anything or with anything on our person.
I'm pretty positive he was an employee, I've heard employees have to actually see you place items in your bag before they pull you over, so I'm assuming that's why he stalked us. (link)
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Once you've left the store, legally, there isn't much they can do. He was probably taking the plate down for future reference. If they see you or the car in the area in the future they know to "keep an eye on you". So either don't go back there or don't go back there with your friend. She DID put something in her bag, so they had every right to 'stalk' you. As long as you don't turn into a thief, you have nothing to worry about, no matter if someone takes your plate# or not. The only people who need to worry are guilty people.
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