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What should i DO? this is probaly said a lot,I think its a good story tho.
Well I am a person who has had a hidden life and it is time for me to come out. I made choices that led me away from my priorities and my friends and family. I am a good looking 19 year old and I have made some decitions that will follow me the rest of my life. I just spent the majority of last year behind bars and i will tell that story to those who are interested. My life is an open book now a days and i have thrown in the towel. I am living back with my parents but i am looking for a new place based on my income. There is this girl that has waited for me my entire life and i think i love her. She has also made some poor decitions but not as bad as mine. Im not sure if it is the idea of her and having a family that i can care for and work hard for. By the way she has two kids from another guy who is out of the picture and if he ever comes around us uninvited he has to deal with me. i want to love these kids. I want to have something to work for and make money for instead of just bills and taxes... and restitution... I have my whole life ahead of me but i don't want to go too crazy because of the monkey on my back after dealing with and going through the justice system. Details are available to those who are interested. So my final question and the reason for (via the advice) is probably should i take her and the kids in and stay in my home town or should i move far away from it all and start over. LIKE i said, more details are probably needed to give me good advice but this is the basic problem. I want a family but no kids of my own for a few years so this is kind of the instant happiness that i might be looking for. What should i do?
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Straight out of prison, I'm going to say you need to work on yourself before you can work on a family. From what you've posted, You have your head thinking straight as far as goals but the last thing you need right now is to be tied down with a family you cannot currently support at this time.
From past experience of being a Juvenile delinquent and learning things the hard way...Finding employment with something on your record will be extremely difficult. Now, I have never been to prison but I'm assuming the attempts for a job would be much more difficult.
Everything is different prior state to state but generally you would need to wait a good 5 years before you can get something expunged which needs to be approved by the Judge and that IS if it is approved. The best thing you can really do for yourself now is to figure out your long term goals and what you are going to do in the meantime. Under the table work and some jobs that do not do a criminal background check would likely be your best option..As far as finding a house, I don't know what to tell you there but I as being a tenant had to go through a lot of paperwork including criminal background while signing a lease. Fortunately, I've had the expunged.
Until you get yourself situated I think you are better off waiting to settle down, It is okay to date around but don't jump the gun into settling what you are not ready for.
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You just got out of prison and you are working to get your life back together. Rebuilding a life after a conviction is very, very difficult, especially finding work. Its not fair to drag a family into that right now. It will cause a lot of unnecessary stress on you, her, and the kids. I know you want to help and be there for her, but you have nothing to offer right now. You live with your mother. You are still paying restitution. You don't have a life plan yet. Get yourself together. Work, save money, find your own place and make some goals for your life. Start surrounding yourself with people who are positive and have their own families and goals. Start learning what it means to happy with yourself before you look to other people to make you happy. Then, when you are stable and able to provide, you can come back for her and her kids, if its still in the cards. That's the best gift you can give a young mom. No woman with kids needs a man who is still feeling his way around and isn't happy with himself. It may start out ok, but it will always end in heartache. Get yourself together and THEN think about a relationship with someone else. You won't regret it. I promise.
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