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I am 18, and my mom STILL doesn't want me to sleep over with my BF
i'm 18 and my boyfriend will be 18 in a couple weeks. we have been going out for 3 years almost and were never allowed to sleep over, ( my mom doesnt like the idea) now i get that in her house its her rules and thats how she wins the arguments always. however, i am now 18 and i feel that i can sleep at his house. his parents find it okay becuase we have been going out for so long. his mom wanted to throw him a party for his birthday and thought it was going to get late and instead of me leaving stay at his house and sleep in the spare room just to make my mom at ease. she said she would even talk to her if she had concerns. i just want to be able to tell my mom what is going on and her not to say no. I mean i try to go about this as if you want me to lie to you fine, but i can tell you the truth and youll know what is really going on. i have talked to her about sleeping over before and she says when i have my own place i can do what i want when i want how i want. and i get that thats totally reasonable, but i dont want to move out at 18. to me if we have been going out this long and im not pregnant then its not going to happen. another reason i want to stay at his house more is its just convienent. and hes leaving at the end of the summer across the country so my chances of seeing him ever again are slim. i mean we may not work out we may stay in touch ill visit him, but i want to make the most of what we have now and not have to be treated as a 12 year old girl. i'm a over all good person i listen to my mom i rarley give her a hard time i tell her the truth i tell her where i am and what time she wants me home ill be there i keep up my grades to an 80 or above i have two jobs where i dont ever take time off from i have a car that i pay for. i mean i show all the responsibilites of a grown person and yet i feel like i cant do anything. how do i go about this? opinions please!
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You aren't being treated like a 12 year old...you're being treated like any normal teenager that lives with their parents. She's just looking out for you. You can't just say "If I haven't gotten pregnant in the 3 years that we've been together then it won't happen." If you are sexually active then you are ALWAYS running the risk of getting pregnant. Every single time you have sex there is a risk. Your mom sees that and is just being a good mom because 18 is still too young to get pregnant and have a baby. Try to understand it from her point of view. Best of luck, Jess.
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Your Mother is being your Mother..
I know you said you get it, But as long as you live under her roof you have to follow her rules. It is not about how much or little she trust you, In her mind you are her daughter and she is looking out for your best interest. Sometimes we have to except things that aren't fair, You may be 18 years old but again you are under her roof. Until you are out on your own...She makes the rules.
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When you have kids you'll get it. In the meantime, you just have to accept the fact that when you live under someone else's roof, you have to follow their rules. That's why getting out on your own as soon as you can would be a good thing. Until you can do that (graduating, college, job, whatever you have to wait for to leave), you just have to deal with her rules. Period. Its not about trusting you or not trusting you. Its about being responsible for your own daughter until she is out on her own. Your mom is responsible for you until you leave her home. End of story. I know its not fun to hear, and it may not even be fair. But its just the way it is.
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