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humorist-workshop
i'm sort of a prude
ok. First of all i'm a virgin. I'm 20. I am in college adn i don't mean to sound full of myself but i'm am semi pretty. I am in the best sorority at my school. HOWEVER, I AM SUCH A PRUDE. I can see it/feel, like i get it. I love making out with guys but whenever it goes past that- i kind of freak out, i don't like it, and i get nervous. I don't really understand. I like the IDEA of it, but I don't like the execution. How am I everr going to lose my virginity. I don't really know what to do. help....
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
You don't need too anything! You are just fine as you are. The only time to have sex is when you want to and you will want to when you are deeply in love with the right guy. Many people, yes, even in 2011, do not have sex until marriage. You might enjoy the essay here: www.firstthings.com/article/2009/.../002-subversive-virginity-3
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The below hit it pretty much on the head. You're not a prude, you're just not ready for sex at this point in your life.
I think, in part, it has to do with what sounds like you hooking up with whatever guys. You're in an environment that encourages you to be casual about sex and you can't get there yourself, even not having had it somewhere inside sex doesn't feel just casual to you.
Stop worrying about it. Find a guy you like. Date him for a few months. Establish trust and other positive emotions. Consider sex when there is some degree of love on both sides and you trust each other, and the development of sex is a natural part of a relationship.
You sound inexperienced and a little immature. Some people are alright with casual sex. These people are sexually experienced, they know themselves well enough to know what they want and need from the experience and they are comfortable with what they're doing because they aren't virgins looking at sex from the outside.
Chill out. Date instead of hook up as a prelude to sex. Set standards which require more than a guy who thinks you're semi pretty to start thinking about getting it on.
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This question makes me so sad. Its such a shame you think you are a prude just because you aren't ready for sex. You need to stop thinking about sex in terms of losing your virginity and start thinking about it in terms of sharing something extremely precious and priceless with someone worthy of your love who is completely committed to you. I understand that's not what you see around you every day, but don't be fooled. Sex is serious business and has serious consequences. I'm a big believer in women's intuition. I think we are trained to ignore our intuition and label it as paranoia or craziness. But there is something to it. Your intuition is telling you that you are not ready for sex. Its telling you that sex is something special and you only get to lose your virginity once. Don't waste it on some random dude just because you don't want to feel like a prude anymore. Trust me, you'll hate yourself for it. Just relax with this. Take sex off the table for now and just enjoy being around friends and cute boys and getting through school. When the time is right, you won't be worrying about any of this stuff. Until then, listen to your gut and don't believe anyone or anything that tells you you're a prude. You're not. You're a bright young woman who is really in touch with herself, in a mature way. You recognize you are not ready for this. That's it. Don't pressure yourself. It'll happen when its right. Until then, have fun, be yourself, and NEVER be ashamed. You are perfect just the way you are.
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