A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
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Member Since: July 16, 2007
Answers: 2588
Last Update: April 13, 2014
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Hi. I'm Female and 14 and my boyfriends 16 in october. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 months now, I know that isn't that long, but i have been thinking about having sex with him. He keeps talking to me about it and he said he doesn't want to rush me into anything i don't want to do and he will wait for me, but because he is going to be 16 soon and I am going to still be 14, he can get arrested for having sex with me. (I'm from England and the legal age for sex is 16, if anyone didn't know) He therefore said he doesn't want to have the risk of being arrested so we can either have it before october or wait until i'm 16, which is over a year. I'm stuck :( How do you know when your ready for sex? I think i am, but i aint sure... Can you be ready? I'm confused, How do you know? And can anyone help me out with my situation? (link)
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Fact 1: Guys (especially teenaged guys) are always and will always be horny.
When I was in high school all the girls said guys only thought about sex and couldnt be sweet. That wasnt true. We could think about lots of things, and we could be sweet, gentlemanly, sensitive, etc. But we were still ravenously horny at the same time.
Fact 2: Given fact 1, it is not your responsibility to do anything on his timetable. Youre going to be nervous when you have sex, but you shouldnt be questioning "should I" when you do it.
There are lots of things you can do without actually having sex.
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me and my substitue teacher are really close friends. hes bout 40 and im 16. he is in the military and also does security at the mall and i visit him everday. he helps me with all my problems and is known around the city. all the kids love him. hes drivin me and my friends home a few times and he knows my mom. hes goin away to iraq soon and asked me if i wanted to go get chinese food on tuesday. weve been plannin this for a while and i have no problem with it. he knows i lvoe to drink and he jus recently asked me what kind of alcohol i want cz hes gunan get me some so i can dirnk. i kno its weird, but i am very close with him and he is leavin and i want to get suttin to eat. im jus wondering if i shood drink or not. i dont think he would everrrr try anything cz he knows my mom and is known around the town, and he busts drug dealers and works with the cops. please let me kno if u think i shood drink or not. (link)
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For his sake do not get him to buy alcohol from you. Its irresponsible on both your parts.
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okay so one of my friends kissed this guy (her boyfriend) and he wasnt suppose to tell anyone he swore to her he wouldnt no one but his best friend and he told his best friend but he also told one of my other best friends. So my other best friend (the one the guy told) told me he told her and said not to tell the friend that got kissed but shes been my best friend since we were 3 but so has the other best friend......WHAT DO i DO????? pleaseee help
thank you so much (link)
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Keep it to your self.
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I just want to thank you for opening this and wasting 5 mins. of your life. I just wanted to know if things will ever change??? i'm 14 and I'm sure you remember when you were 14 or maybe you are 14 but w/e. I just wanted to know if things will change from being bad. Like not having any friends, being made fun of, not having a BOYFRIEND. Things were not like this when I was 13. Everything was GREAT! I had friends and boyfriends, they were never serious but I had 'em. Does it ever change? Or will I always be sad??? (link)
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Yeah
After high school, the most amazing thing for me was the fact that I basically had a clean slate. So did everyone else.
In high school, sometimes you've known the people you're in class with for years. Even in middle school. Everyone knows you, remembers you, and theres no way to get a fresh start really. You have a reputation and you're constantly worried about maintaining it.
Its not like that in the outside world. You can change your circumstances, change your life, with relative ease.
I moved to college. Lived in the dorms. Met a host of new friends. Most of whom, I dont spend time with anymore for various reasons. I just was with the wrong crowd. I was searching out people who reminded me of my friends in high school. I was limiting myself.
I moved to a new place, started hanging out with new people, and now have a large number of close friends, all of whom I love spending time with. Been that way for several years now.
That to me is the biggest change you will go through in a few years. In school, its not that you go out and find people you can be friends with so much that you find people who you are alike enough to not kill each other alot of the time. You have a limited pool of people, everyone knows alot of other people, and you're stuck with whats in front of you.
Later in life it wont be that. If someone is not someone you want to be friends with, you can simply move on. You pretty much dont ever have to deal with them again.
The boyfriend and friends thing will come. Be yourself, be nice, and just get past these years.
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ok so, i know there are a lot of questions out there like what do guys see in girls, or the opposite. well thats sorta what im getting to here. im 15/f and im having so much trouble here, and i need some real advice, not just a stupid answer. i know this is wierd, but ive only had one boyfriend, and it was elementary school for a long time but i dont really count it, because we didnt kiss and stuff, i mean come on i still thought boys had cooties. but i feel really out of place at my school and with my friends. they all have had boyfriends and i havent even had my first kiss. i dont think im that pretty but im not like hideous. im friends with guys but when i start having feelings for them, they like my other friends and it hurts everytime. guys see me as more of a friend, not a girlfriend. i give such good advice to my friends on there relationships, but i dont get why because im not experienced at all. and it just hurts me so much because im helping other people and not getting in return. i try to tell my friends, but they go oh your pretty, youll find someone. they dont give me any advice at all. and i dont know i think theres something wrong with me because no guy really likes me, theres nothing really special about me or anything.
my real question that needs to be answered is what can i do to make guys want me, like what do guys look for in a girl. how do i catch guys attention. ijust feel like theres no guy at my school right for me, even though i know i dont know them all. i just dont know what to do, i feel so bad for myself because im a sophomore and i havent even had my first kiss. and i dont know anymore. i get so sad because my close friends know, and they make fun of me behind my back. i think they feel bad for me but they dont know what to say. they invite me to movies but they always have guys there and there all make out and stuff. and i just sit there.
some please help me i dont know whats wrong, i need to change so guys like me. sorry its long, thank you so much if you read all of it (link)
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Alright.
In high school, guys are too immature to well control their urges and to be decent relationship partners (for the most part)
High school also only lasts 4 years. Then you will go off to college, where you have exposure to a large number of people who are not immature little brats. You do not want to spend the next 4 years changing yourself to be someone you arent for guys who wont matter less than a month after you graduate.
Be who you are. It will be important to you later.
Also, check this out.
http://www.utata.org/project/diptych/item/442479907/
This is called a "coy smile"
This is possibly one of the most potent weapons in a woman's arsenal. With a little tweaking it can range from cute to incredibly sexy. You dont have to wear skimpy clothing or change anything about yourself to be able to use this to run a guy over like a freight train.
Attraction is all about body language. A woman who is conscious of her body language can manipulate a guy (we're actually pretty easy once you start figuring it out)without saying a word.
And besides, itll be much more useful in the long run to learn to manipulate men than it will be to change yourself for a kind of guy you wont be dating in a few years.
Try it. Practice that smile in a mirror until you are confident you can throw it out there without looking goofy and without having to watch yourself to know you got it right.
Then flash it at a guy.
9/10 times it will stop a guy in his tracks. I learned that from a GF I had in high school myself, she would do it to guys just to watch someone walk into her locker, it was hilarious.
But yeah. Smiling. Slight contact, these things can bring interest. Finding an excuse to touch a guy's arm, chest, neck or face is always good. One of the most effective ways Ive seen it done is a girl telling a guy to close his eyes, and pretending to pick an eyelash off his face. He's never going to know there wasnt one there, but when you lightly pinched at him to "get the eyelash off" his heartbeat is going to quicken a bit ;-)
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I know the person I want to be, but I'm not totally sure on the route to take to become that person. I love those moments when I just disregard the thoughts of others, so I get the chance to be comfortable with who I am. I'm very kind to others and whatnot, so I don't have a reason to be insecure...I just feel awkward. I want to be able to embrace others more and not shy away from the hugs I'm offered. I don't want to be so alert anymore. I want to disconnect with my surrondings just a tad, so I can act naturally and not always question myself. I seriously need to relax and not be so uptight. How do I get to this point? (link)
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Draw an imaginary circle.
This is your "circle of comfort"
Human beings are wired to try to stay in this circle of comfort.
The only way to do what you want, is to repeatedly push yourself outside of it.
The more you go outside the circle, the bigger the circle gets (anything you do alot becomes comfy eventually) and the more used to going outside the circle you get (double plus bonus!)
Basically, you must push yourself. Alot. And you will grow with time and become more of the person you want to be.
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there's this boy, whom I like alot- i'm going to call him jake. well today he came over, when my parent's weren't here, we didn't go outside but we were sitting on the bench& we started making out then he was leaving at ten, so I looked at my phone I was like twenty more minutes, then it started to get serious, like we would be kissing& for a few times he did would run his hand up my back& I was like if he tries to go under my bra or near my "private" area, i'm going to stop him, so he goes over my bra, like he was feeling them, just kinda touching? it wasn't bad& it was only for a few minutes. then we were kissing again& he stuck his hands down the back of my pants touching my butt, he would do that, then bring it out& then do that again, then he took his hand& he was playing w/ my "private" part's, like my panties were still in the way but he was playing with them over my panties& at the time I didn't care, I was like he still isn't in them, blah blah blah. & now that I think of it I feel horrible, weren't even dating& I let him do that, I feel so sick, like to my stomach& I feel like a whore, I already took a shower, he's the only guy I have done anything like this with, i've only even made out w/ one guy ever then him,& i'm fourteen, do you think i'm a whore? (link)
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First, its natural to feel the way you felt.
Sexual urges are meant to be pleasurable. Sex and sexual contact is very enjoyable.
Second, compared to some of the other kids younger than you on this website, you are actually doing VERY well. Youre 14 and your virginity is in tact. That puts you better off than the average right there.
Third. Trying to figure out how to word this.
Sex is something special to most people. Sex is different to everyone though, it can be special in different degrees. Your parents are going to teach you how special sex is to them, but thats not going to really work for you (this is why most kids and parents dont see eye to eye)
You are going to have to find out what sex is to you on your own. The good news is, you have the rest of your life. Its not something you have to accomplish today or tomorrow. Its simply something that you will learn about yourself. What is important to _you_?
What you did does not make you a whore. You are interested and curious, and learning that you are a sexual being. Theres nothing wrong with that, you simply have to be able to control the urges when they arent appropriate.
One of the biggest traps young women set for themselves in these situations is not setting clear limits.
You said to yourself "I wont do this I guess" and then he did, and you enjoyed it (Im guessing, but probably right, right?) and you let him continue. And it just felt wrong afterwards.
Every single part of that needs to be changed.
Set limits. Make sure the guy knows and respects them. If you dont want his hands inside your shirt/pants yet, even over panties or bra, dont let him. Tell him no, you personally are not ready for that yet. Stick to it.
Then, when you DO do something, you need to not be feeling horrible about yourself about it. When you make your decisions about how far you are ready to go and stick to them, it will help with feeling bad.
The last thing. Part of why you feel like a whore is because everything you've probably been taught about sex by your peers is wrong, and probably damaging to you. A person who has sex is not a whore, a person who has sexual contact of a lesser nature is not a whore. A whore is someone who sells their sex for profit of some kind (money or otherwise)
Next time, set your limits, tell the guy, and stick to them. It will help you not feel terrible later because you can think back and know that you stuck with what you were ready for and didnt stray outside it.
And to be honest, consider talking to your parents about it. I know, I know, parents == the devil. Some parents ARE really cool about this kind of thing. I have no idea if yours are/would be. Just consider it, think about how they would recieve it, and remember that your parents were your age once too. Its been a while but its kinda like riding a bike. You dont forget for long.
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You know the drill, a family members making cake, or bacon, the smell is so powerful its almost impossible to not smell.
So you take a deep breath inhaling the fantastic smell right before you ask "whats cookin'?"
Anyways, is it possible that when you took that deep breath that you've inhaled calories?
I know the amounts are insignificant if any, but is it possible? (link)
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No
And why do you want to know?
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My boyfriend is turning 22 and he is totally against drinking. I am 18 and going to college, while he doesnt go to college.... he works. I know he would be really mad if I was drinking in college but I kind of want to try it out for myself. I dont know how I feel about it. But I really dont want to lose him. What do I do? (link)
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Lets assume you asked me this question three years for now, lets assume you said you were 21 and going to college, and go from there.
Your life is yours to experience. And while as a boyfriend he has the right to give his opinion about things he does not have the right to bar you from things that will not injure you. Most people who imbibe alcohol are able to be relatively responsible while doing so. If you have a responsible glass or two of wine when you are of age, or if youd like to try a mixed drink or go to a club with some friends and have a martini, its not really his business.
There is a stark difference between asking someone to refrain from behavior that harms themselves or others, and behavior that only harms you because you have a complex about it and personally choose not to do it.
To give you an idea though, I am a person who is very resistant to controlling people. If someone tells me I have to do something that makes me want to do it less.
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I went to my friend's house with my girls and there were these guys that came over. After they left, my other friend told me that she had sex wit two of them before and gave one of them head that nite (we are 'new' friends and I just learned she was like that!) ... to make a novel a short story, I was talking with my friend at work and she knows they guys who came over. She tells me that 1 of they guys 'supposedly' has aids and there's a really good chance he does (he ALSO has a girlfriend of over a year. That's who he supposedly got it from)! So I textd my friend and told her she needs to get tested and everything. Her response was "Yea." Apparently this chick doesn't care. She gives head I guess on a regular basis? My other friend doesn't think that she's going to get tested (I don't either)! What can I say to her that will make her go? And where can I tell her to go? (link)
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Stay away from that friend. She is not someone you need to be associating with.
I usually dont advise involving adults immediately, but to be honest this situation is beyond you.
Tell your parents first. They will have a good idea of what can be done. The next two steps are your high school administration and her parents and the boys parents.
But definately tell your parents. They are going to be understanding, stress that you were not involved in any way but you are concerned because some immature little brat who just discovered she has a vagina is using it to spread misery throughout the community.
Please dont be afriad of being some kind of "tattle tale"
It is more important that your "friend" is stopped, what she is doing is possibly criminal. These kids are too young to realize the lives they are ruining and HAVE to be stopped in their tracks.
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I was reading some of your answers and saw that you play[ed] that game. Two of my friends, one of which is like my best friend, want me to play that game. My brother and half sister used to have some weird addiction to the game where they'd play it nonstop. My brother quit for about 9 months and plays it again now, but when I told him they wanted me to get the game, he seemed okay with it. Then, once he realized I was serious, he got really against me playing. He keeps telling me the game "ruins" lives and stuff, which I understand. I already -sorta- promised one of the guys i'd play if he got a game I wanted him to play, but I dont wanna suffer the consequences of being obsessed/possibly addicted to WoW.
& It doesn't even look like a fun game.
How do I tell them I can't play it? (link)
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heh
You tell them that you arent interested.
WoW is a significant time investment. I (sometimes unfortunately) have a decent amount of time to devote to it, but it can eat your life up just a little.
The easiest excuse, I would say, would be to tell them that you like to go at your own pace in a video game, and in WoW you're always trying to keep up/catch up to other people who are higher, or who have better gear.
Bottom line it for them. Tell them you really arent interested and are not going to start. Not, "I dont want to", or "Im not sure"
"Im not going to"
That gets the message across.
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what exactly is that? lol, would a person be a pathetic, lonely loser for using it? (link)
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Second life is something you do NOT want to get involved in. For a variety of reasons.
It is what we call an MMO. Its short for MMORPG, which is short for Massive Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game.
Details.
Second life is a game where you can create an "Avatar". An avatar is a visual representation of "you" and can be made to look like whatever you like.
In second life, you can do pretty much anything you want to do. There is a language they use (a programming language) that allows you to create virtual objects and assign them behaviors, colors, shapes, etc.
Where it gets bad.
1) Second life is all about money. The game is capable of absorbing an infinite amount of REAL money. They have a currency called "Linden dollars" which you have to pay real money to obtain, and you can buy an infinite amount of "linden dollars". These linden dollars can be changed back into real money at will, though Im not sure how, and can be traded or used to buy things in the video game world.
Property (if you want a house) costs money. A little virtual TV to place in your virtual den with your virtual couch, costs money. So does the couch. It is a bottomless pit into which you can pour an infinite amount of money.
2) There are many severely unsavory aspects of second life, that exist purely because of the money. Property in second life has monetary value. Ill give you an example of how this turns sour.
There are people in second life who make their livings off of buying and selling property in this game world. There was a news article about one of these groups that engaged in very unseemly business practices. What they would do, is that if they owned property and wanted to buy more property around it, they would erect houses on the properties they owned.
A word on texturing, so you know what Im about to tell you. A "texture" is basically a picture you put on a flat surface. A common "texturing" would be to put a picture of bricks on the side of a virtual structure that is a house, so that the house now looks like it is made of bricks. You could put another picture on the roof that looks like shingles, and you now look like you have a brick house with a shingle roof.
In the game, the people would "texture" their houses with pornography. So that when other people whos properties were nearby would log in, they would see porn on houses near them. This would drive property values in the area down (as people didnt want to be in an area that had multiple houses covered in some pretty disgusting images) and the group doing the porn-houses would buy the properties and make a profit.
There are a host of other things that go on in that game, but the easiest way to say it is there are alot of really, really creepy people in this world. And second life seems to have attracted a large number of them.
If you want to play something online, I suggest some of the following.
City of Heroes/Villans - This game is one where you can create a hero or villan. You design your super hero or villan costume, and go out and start your career. You do missions for a city or criminal syndicate, you learn powers, its alot of fun. At lvl 14 you get a "travel power" which was one of my favorite parts of the game. You can choose to fly, run at super speeds, teleport, or Jump massive distances.
World of Warcraft - This is based more in olden times. In WoW there are two factions, the Alliance and the Horde. Each has its own history of mingled war and peace, and each is made up of a number of races. You begin as one of a number of classes, from a warrior (class designed to take damage) to a priest (class with healing abilities) to a mage (class that can throw magical damage from a distance) or a hunter(class that can train some animals and use them as an ally, or a "pet)
Those are the two I have played, there are others out there. They are more friendly to players and can be alot of fun.
Just dont let them run away with you.
And sorry for the wall o text.
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I masterbate....a lot.
im 15 female and i use things to do it with like: thend ends of a brush or bottles or my finger or shower heads (water pressure)
number 1) is this normal?
number 2) after i orgasim i get thick saliva and then my vagina hirts and i cant touch it anymore bu i also get really un-hoorny.
why? & is that normal? (link)
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1) Everything you described in your question sounds perfectly normal.
2) Be careful what you use to do this, it is possible to rub yourself raw if you use implemments that are less than soft. Honest suggestion, if you are doing this that much, see if you have a friend who is 18 who can purchase a vibrator for you so that you have something thats actually meant for the purpose you're using it for.
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m/13 so me and my girlfriend are planning to have sex. we dont know whether she should put her tampon in during it so she doesnt get pregnant, or i should use i condom. also, how do u put on a condom? when i put my penis in how fast do i go in and out? (link)
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You are too young to be having sex.
For more information about contraceptives visit http://www.coolnurse.com/. There is a decent amount of useful information there and its a good beginning resource.
If you decide to engage in sex contrary to the advice to abstain until you are older and know more, you should definitely use a condom. Coolnurse will give you more information about that as well.
I will finish with this.
I realize that at 13 you want to be grown up. You see all these things that adults do and you want to be a part of that world, and sex is just another window into that.
The problem with this is, that at 13 you are not capable of handling the consequences of these decisions alone.
If you got a girl pregnant at this age, you would not know what to do. If you had to be a father now, you are not mature enough to do it. You do not have enough time on this earth to be able to do it well and be the father that a baby would need.
Its hard, when you realize you are getting closer to be an adult, to wait to do things that adults do. But one of the key aspects to truly BEING an adult is realizing that there are times in life you have to say no, even to things like sex.
Its hard for someone who is 13 to imagine it, but choosing to have sex, and getting a girl pregnant, will change your entire life. It will change the entire course of where your life is going. And it will add complications that you do not need to be dealing with. It will change things for the girl as well. Worst of all, it stands the possibility of bringing a child into this world who will not recieve the life they deserve because the child is born to teenagers who cannot take care of it themselves.
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okay this kid named David called me fat. And he wouldnt drop it and he told me i should buy a tredmill and dumb stuff like that, i know im fat but i donno i didnt think it was that big of a deal.
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=41915905
thats my myspace and i was wonderingif i really am as ugly as he says.. be truthful please..:( (link)
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It is generally not a good idea to link pictures of yourself in an anonymous forum.
I know you have self confidence issues, but you should not be looking to us to solve them.
You are providing anyone who reads these a window into your personal life. Its not a good idea.
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What can you do if you are having sex and the condom breaks and your parents are going to kill you if you get pregnant or even find out you had sex again?
Oh and we have no way of getting the morning after pill either.
PLEASE HELP ASAP (link)
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Listen to younggrandma.
If the consequences of sex are too much for you to handle, you should not be having sex. If you are not going to abstain then at least, there are plenty of ways to enjoy yourself without risking pregnancy.
Other ideas.
Get on birth control if you can. Research it. See if there is a planned parenthood office anywhere you can get to, and go talk to them. They have a wealth of information about pregnancy, STDs, birth control, and might even be able to help you get on birth control.
Also. VCF. Vaginal Contraceptive Film.
Ever seen a breath strip? These look kind of like that. Its a film that breaks down into a contraceptive spermicidal Gel.
You put one inside yourself and wait 15 minutes and they quote that without a condom it is supposed to be as effective as a condom for preventing pregnancy.
Used in conjunction with a condom, it is a good protection in case the condom breaks. A second line of defense, as it were. Use one, wear a condom, and it should go a longer ways than just a condom towards keeping you safe.
You can buy the stuff the same places you can buy condoms.
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Alright.There's this guy.And I love him so much.But he's unfourtantly 4 years older than me..and I'm only 13.So that is really really bad.But I just sort of fell for him.I know for a fact he doesn't like me at all..but what do I do? I mean I talk to him all the time..and I asked him out once..but he said no because of..something.And so yeah.
Help please =// (link)
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Like it or not, his maturity level vastly outpaces yours with that age difference.
Crushes are fine. To be honest, you are going to like alot of people in your life. Its a good thing to learn to control it a little so when its not a good idea, you can stop it and save liking someone for someone who is a better person to like for whatever reason.
Aim more for your age group. At 13 you shouldnt stray past 14 really. Its simply a matter of dating experience coupled with similar levels of maturity.
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Mm okay.I like these 2 bands/people.Marilyn Manson and Mindless Self Indulgence.They're really not that good..in lyrics anyway..and me and my family fight about them everyday.Because to them,they're just devil worshipers.I'm not sure what to do because I really like these people..
Help me? (link)
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1) Explain to your family that they are fully entitled to their opinions about any form of art but that you are not required to share in those opinions, that its a personal enjoyment thing.
2) If you have a very religious family they are going to pick things to disapprove of. Try not to show them these things, and when they seek out tell them to back off.
3) Stop the fighting. If they try to start an argument, exit the conversation. Tell them that discussion is pointless, its not going to get anyone anywhere and is just going to cause commotion and you have no intent do sit there and let someone pick a fight with you based on what music you listen to, because its really not their business.
4) They are probably concerned that you will turn into a godless heathen if you listen to music they consider to be godless heathen music. Just bear it in mind when talking to them (or not talking to them) about it.
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I'm 18/f and he's 18/m. So here's the situation.... my boyfriend and I have been dating well over a year. The first year we dated, the intimacy parts (sex, etc.) of our relationship were great and numerous. Now, however, things just haven't been the same. My boyfriend refuses to have any physical activity with me. Every other part of our relationship is fine except for the sex because he never wants to do it anymore. The only logical reason I can think of for this is he is insecure. What can I do to make him feel more comfortable and want me physically again?
Guys answer only, please, if you've ever been in this situation or have any good ideas. Thanks! (link)
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Communication is about the only solution here.
Sit him down. Tell him that you need to discuss this because its a major concern for you and you feel disconnected from him.
Talk to him. Ask him why intimacy is no longer attractive.
Because to be honest, its very unusual on the guys part to be like that. I am a guy in a long term relatoinship, and I have a day here and there where my sex drive is simply non existent, but its usually only a day, or connected to something that has me down for other reasons and Im just not in the mood.
Talk to him about it. Voice your concerns. If he tries to leave, dont let him. If you dont force communication about it its not going to change.
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1. where is heaven? i know that hell is like probably at earth's core, because that makes sense, but heaven isnt in the sky or we would have spotted it, and past the sky is our universe.. unless heaven is someplace in our universe? and does EVERYTHING go to heaven when it dies? even bugs and animals and stuff? if so, when an alien (if they are real) dies on a diff planet, it will go to our heaven?
2. how bad you have to be to go to hell?
3. what so special about crop circles that link with aliens? arent crop circles like man-created anyways? (link)
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1) In the metaphysical sense, Heaven could be most closely related to another dimension, rather than an actual physical location.
As far as what goes to heaven, we dont know. Thats the honest truth. No one knows, because no one I or anyone else has ever known has been to heaven and come back to tell us about it. Everything you've ever been taught about heaven is a guess.
2) By the christian definition, in order to not go to hell all you must do is repent for your sins. If you are sorry for your transgressions, you go to heaven. I think its probably a little more complicated than that, but again, same as heaven, its just a guess.
3) As far as we've been able to determine (and because if aliens were really making crop circles, I think we'd actually have photo and video evidence by now) crop circles are just a form of rural art and a hoax perpetuated by humans.
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