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Drinking
My boyfriend is turning 22 and he is totally against drinking. I am 18 and going to college, while he doesnt go to college.... he works. I know he would be really mad if I was drinking in college but I kind of want to try it out for myself. I dont know how I feel about it. But I really dont want to lose him. What do I do?
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Lets assume you asked me this question three years for now, lets assume you said you were 21 and going to college, and go from there.
Your life is yours to experience. And while as a boyfriend he has the right to give his opinion about things he does not have the right to bar you from things that will not injure you. Most people who imbibe alcohol are able to be relatively responsible while doing so. If you have a responsible glass or two of wine when you are of age, or if youd like to try a mixed drink or go to a club with some friends and have a martini, its not really his business.
There is a stark difference between asking someone to refrain from behavior that harms themselves or others, and behavior that only harms you because you have a complex about it and personally choose not to do it.
To give you an idea though, I am a person who is very resistant to controlling people. If someone tells me I have to do something that makes me want to do it less.
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as long as you live in the u.s., drinking under 21 is illegal anyway. so if i were you, wait until you are 21, and then try it out. by that time, things might have changed with your boyfriend and he might be a social drinker or something. but at some point in time, you two are going to have to come to an agreement with this. does he know that you would like to try drinking? right now, i don't think that it matters too much if you want to drink or not because it is illegal anyway. talk to your boyfriend about it. just be like, "hey, i realize that you feel this way, but when i turn 21 i would like to try it. just giving you a heads up." don't let him make your decisions for you; do what YOU want to do.
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The only person that someone who is TOTALLY against drinking, can be in a relationship with, is with another person who is TOTALLY against drinking. Because they have no tolerance for people who do drink, even occasionally.
YOu must know all of the reasons why he is against drinking, and they were also your reasons at one time. But now, because you see so much of it in college, you are tempted to try. While those feelings are normal, you said it all when you said, that he would be really mad.
And you WILL lose him. Don't doubt that for a minute. So if you don't want to loose him, then don't let yourself be tempted. Look really close at some of those drunk kids. Do you want to look like that? The final decision is yours. Hey there is this book out, written by a girl who was a college student. I think it is called SMASHED. why not read that book before you try drinking. In the end, if you do decide to drink or not, do it for yourself, not for your boyfriend.
Michele
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hey
well, first of all, it's illegal to drink if you're under the age of 21. so, are you saying when you turn 21, you want to try starting to drink?
look, you should respect what he wants, but he shouldn't be FORCING you to not drink. you should have an open communication with him & let him know that you want to try drinking. make it clear you won't turn into an alcoholic & won't force him to drink with you.
if he breaks up with you for trying to try something new like a new experience, then he wasn't worth it. but, always remember to respect what he wants from you. if he really feels that it's not healthy to drink, then you should respect that.
don't sneak around & go drinking with your friends. have open communication with him.
also, let him know that drinking isn't unhealthy. drinking 3 glasses of wine a week is actually beneficial to your health. but, drinking daily is dangerous.
try it once & don't tell him. if you like it, limit yourself to three glasses a week but don't do it around him, but let him know you drink 3 glasses a week & no more. if he feels uncomfortable & really tells you to stop, you should respect that. if he on the otherhand is very demanding & yells at you, threatening to break up with you if you continue to drink, he doesn't have the right to do that.
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