A quick note: If I answered a question and you have further questions for me, please include a URL link to your original question(s) so that I can be sure of what we're talking about. Questions that reference something we talked about a week ago that I can't quite remember are kinda hard to answer.
Welcome to my column.
I don't apologize for my answers. I speak to the audience, and in doing so I sometimes tell the audience things they don't want to hear or cant handle.
I believe in stands on principle. I believe that doing right for the sake of doing right is a good way to live. I believe in self awareness and encourage it in others. I offer the most unbiased viewpoint I have. And yes, I am only human.
Im going to tell you what I think you need to hear. You are not supposed to take what I say and follow it. You are supposed to take what I say and _think_about_it_
Oh, and feel free to ask me questions, but netspeak, ebonics, terrible grammar, and your teen angst about a crush will be ignored.
Location: No where you've heard of.
Member Since: July 16, 2007
Answers: 2588
Last Update: April 13, 2014
Visitors: 96932
Main Categories:
Love Life
Random Weirdos
Mental health
View All
|
| |
All he does is sit around and watch cartoons all day. Why wont he go out and make some money.
I say if he is old enough to carry a shovel he should.
He also sucks in school, I think he ll drop out from kindergarden. (link)
|
Nice troll post there, slick.
Youre probably what? 12?
|
my boyfriend wants to have sex with me and i fell like i want to but im scared i will fall pregnant wat shold i do???
xx need advice girl xx (link)
|
Im going to have to agree with the below. If you are on this website asking what you should do because your boyfriend wants to have sex and you are scared, you are nowhere near ready for it.
1) www.coolnurse.com
Go there. Read. Lots. Read on pregnancy. Read on STDs. Read on contraception. You need to know (not have a general idea, know) the facts of sex. The realities, the risks, etc.
2) Wait.
You arent mature enough for this yet. Guys are always going to be horny. Especially guys in high school who havent figured out that part of being a guy is learning to control yourself. Hes going to want sex, but that doesnt mean its up to you to give it to him.
Its also worth noting that if you are worried you might lose him, let him go. You might think that its worth giving up your virginity now to keep him. You wont think that for long. Its not a matter of if you realize that hes not worth it and that you made a mistake, its a matter of when.
|
Okay I have been dating the same guy for 1 year & 3 months. I'm 18 & he is 20. We didn't have sex until 1 day after our 8 month anniversary. When we have sex he always aims to go for my butt instead of the other. Not only that but he always talks baby talk, I mean I know it may be our thing but whatever. If you really think about it at our age thats just weird. Okay here is the thing. It has been 2 almost 3 months since the last time we have had sex the right way. I bug him about it every now & then but not until it really bugs me. Well he had spent the night the other night after he had got off work, his parents were out of town so thats the only way he could stay the night, which is odd, because he is 20 but he still lives at home & doesn't plan on getting married anytime soon. Or moving out of his parents house. Anyhow. The morning after he had stayed the night nothing happened, I mean no kisses no touching nothing. So the next morning I asked him what was wrong & why doesn't he want to have sex with me, & he said sex isn't ever on his mind & it doesn't thrill him like it does other people or me. I barely get kisses. He doesn't even touch me anymore. He won't give me any explanation of why he seriously doesn't wanna touch or have sex with me which kind of makes me think hes gay, but anyways, if anyone knows how I can deal with this or if its even normal for a guy not to want to have sex with someone he says hes in love with. Please give me advice as soon as you can, I will greatly appreciate it.
Signed- Confused one. (link)
|
::Edit::
I am sorry you are in denial.
You talked to him and he told you he was insecure about his looks.
Hes lying.
Hear that?
Lying.
There is no straight man on the face of the earth who is going to suddenly become so concerned about his looks that he is unwilling to have sex with you.
Ive already told you. If your boyfriend has lost sexual interest and doesnt want to touch you anymore, he is either cheating on you, or gay.
If he is not cheating, grats. Youre dating a queen. If hes truly not a queen, then there is NO OTHER POSSIBLE EXPLANATION THAN INFIDELITY.
Its proven psychology. There are God knows how many books about it written by stupid authors because the concept is so basic these people could write truth and get away with making money off of it.
And giving me a 1 isnt going to make your boyfriend straight or loyal.
|
I'm doing a health project, and one of the questions is would smoking pot have any negative effects because a female is on "the pill"?
obvously it causes negative effects.. but like will you get a heart attack from it.. that kind of thing?
thanks so much (link)
|
No, you wont get a heart attack from it.
You dont want to get this information here. Why? Because there is so much propaganda out there that you can find sources that will go both ways, you will find ones that will say yes something bad happens and you will find ones that say no, something bad definitely does not happen.
Google search something like "Marijuana effects on birth control users" and try to find a page of correlations. To be honest, I have never seen a page of info or a study that specifically addressed marijuana users who were on the pill, but I would hedge a bet that pot does not affect you badly any more or less if you are on birth control, else there would be alot more information to the effect. Hormones via BC and THC from pot seem to be relatively unrelated.
Although, depending upon the hormones, it could be considered to lower the effectiveness of birth control. I know a host of other things, even a night of heavy drinking can throw BC off and increase the chances of pregnancy. So its possible someone has done a study on that.
Search some medical websites, you wont find information accurate enough for your purposes here. I know a ton about various substances and medical issues from self research and I cant even provide you a definite answer to this specific question.
|
Does anyone know any like cute romantic movies?
NOT the notebook, titanic, or walk to remember
i watched the truth about cats and dogs and i liked that one... do you know any others?
:D (link)
| |
Love Actually. Possibly the best romantic comedy Ive ever seen.
|
15/f
what is a good rap song for my myspace? (link)
|
White and Nerdy
By Wierd Al
At the very least Im sure its quite appropriate for you.
|
If a guy cums on your clitoris and you are a virgin, What are the chances of you being pregnant?
(link)
|
Yes, its possible.
If semen gets anywhere near your vaginal opening, pregnancy is a possibility. Maybe not a high possibility, but a possibility.
Virginity has absolutely NOTHING to do with pregnancy.
|
|
Okay so I want to know when my true love might come along. Because I've been searching and no guy is right, I always find a flaw in every guy. I want to find that one guy that makes me happy and doesn't turn me off. Not a lot of guys want to go out with me. I don't think it's because I'm ugly. People tell me I'm pretty all the time but it's just I'm 14. So am I too young to have a boyfriend? If so then when is it time??? (link)
|
Are you too young to date? Not really.
Are you too young to be looking for something serious? Definitely.
At 14 you are changing. I know you've probably heard it before, but by the time you are 18, you will be a completely different person. By the time youre 22, you will be a completely different person from who you were at 18.
It starts to stretch out from there. But you are changed by the things that happen in your life, and right now someone whom you are compatible with you almost certainly wont be compatible with later.
My parents started dating at 15. They got married at 20.
I can tell you, without a doubt in my mind, that was probably the single greatest mistake they both made in their lives. They got married too young and probably to the wrong people.
I mean, I dont exactly wish I werent born. But purely from a "what was right for them" staindpoint, they should have waited a few more years, and they probably shouldnt have gotten married at all.
|
|
Would any of you happen to know how to trick or convince two straight male men to make out? It is for a good cause I promise. (link)
| |
Im going to second the "offer them money" answer.
|
|
alot of my friends say that ALL emo guys are gay.....is that true? (link)
|
Anytime someone uses the word "All" when talking about people, they are wrong.
This is called a generalization. A generalization is a statement made either out of prejudice or ignorance about something that says "Everything that is A is also B"
Examples would be like the above. That everyone who is emo is also gay.
Other common examples would be that all sports players are stupid, that all cheerleaders are sexually promiscuous, etc.
Sorry, I played football in high school so the sports related ones come to mind first.
|
|
Just as the title says. I'm sexually frustrated. Not in that I simply don't get enough sex. I just can't have an orgasm from having sex. I have had sex enough to where I should be pleasured enough to have an orgasm, but I haven't. I really only can have an orgasm if I touch myself, or if oral sex is being given. I'm frustrated because I can't seem to figure out why I can't have an orgasm during sex. I've had to fake it every time. Is this something I need to talk to an Gynecologist about? I would like some advice and input. Help! (link)
|
Do not fake it. The absolute worst thing you can do is involve lying in sex. If he finds out it can ruin his self confidence and ruin your sex.
Try different positions. Often times sex is simply not providing the correct stimulation. Some women can only come in one position, or from a specific type of stimulation.
If nothing else, consider getting yourself off during sex. Work with your partner and experiment a little to try different angles and such.
Also, dont be overly discouraged. Many women are non-orgasmic during sex. And the older a woman gets, the easier it is to orgasm (I cant remember my biology factoids on why its true, something about a woman's sexual maturation continuing until about 30)
|
|
I am an attractive guy (35) and she's an attractive lady (28) but I'm forced to initiate sex 9 of 10 encounters and when she attempts to initiate lately I don't take her seriously to the point where I'll brush her off saying, "you're joking, right", then go about my business. She likes sex early in the evening whereas I like late nite romps, I enjoy sex to music, she likes to play the television while I try to sleep, she insists that I go places with her when I'm tired from working 2 jobs about 4 days per week while she works one job maybe one time per week, etc. We're polar opposites in many ways but my main question has to do with how I can explain to her that even as a guy I would like to be treated as an attractive man and have her initiate on an equitable basis. (link)
|
Wow....just wow.
You have a few things to learn my friend.
She is not initiating because she does not feel as attractive as you find her. She has self conciousness issues. Unfortunately, your brush offs are only making it worse.
She tries, you dont take it seriously, and it makes it harder for her to initiate later.
First, have presence of mind. If you have even the slightest notion that she is trying to be seductive, encourage her. Tell her how sexy she is, how hot she is.
Second, dont expect everything on your terms. Alot of guys make that mistake. We think everything we want is reasonable and when we dont want what she wants there shouldnt be a problem with that. Relationships are give and take.
From this point out, what you are going to have to do is reinforce her self image. Make a show of checking her out and telling her how attractive she is. When you see her naked, walk up to her and kiss her on the neck and rub her gently telling her how much it turns you on just to be in her presence when she isnt wearing clothes. Compliment her, encourage her, show her that she is sexy in your eyes.
Once you have established a reasonable baseline of encouragement (basically, once she isnt surprised by your compliments, which might take a few days or a week)talk to her. Tell her that you would like her to feel comfortable initiating sex, that when she is sexually aggressive it is a turn on for you. Tell her that she is a beautiful woman, but more than that when you can see that she is confident in the fact that she is attractive she relaxes and sex becomes alot more fun.
I did all of this with my girlfriend who frankly had some very, very strong body image issues when we started dating. I told her how sexy she was on a constant basis, and I encouraged her when she made even the smallest efforts towards seducing me.
Now, I have a girlfriend who is absolutely confident that she can seduce me when she wants to. And you know what? She can.
|
|
i had this boyfriend and he wanted to take me to the movies and afterwards he was gonna eat me out in the car and it never happened because i was kinda afraid. im not sexually active and im a virgin. so i was wondering does it feel good to get eaten out and how long does it take for me to orgasm when hes eating me. and if i wanted to get eaten out should i tell him to do it slowly or fast please help (link)
|
As said below, it varies from person to person.
Though, there is one universal truth about sexual contact.
If it doesnt feel good, the person is doing it wrong.
|
|
I found out my wife is cheating on me and she is pregnant with this other guys baby whats the most worst way to get back at her? And trust me she deserves it. (link)
| |
Get proof, divorce her, take every penny you can get, forget she ever existed.
|
|
No sleepovers. No boyfriends. No hanging out with boys. Yadda yadda yadda. My mom is strict and it's really annoying. I live in NY, and I was telling my mom how I wanted to go to Michigan University when I'm older and going into college. My mom got mad at me and told me that I'm not, and that I would go to a college that was close to home so I wouldn't have to stay in a dorm. How crazy is that? I'll be 18, and she cannot tell me what college I'm going to. She told me that even if I got a full scholarship to Michigan, she wouldn't let me go. It made me furious. I don't want to stay home for another four years of my life. I don't want to go to college near home. I want to be able to have fun without my mom breathing down my neck. My dad told me that any college was fine because he actually RESPECTS my opinion. I just don't know how to handle my mom. She's more overprotective than most. She can't control my life when I'm 18! It sickens me that I can't do anything that she doesn't approve of. How do I handle this? (link)
|
If you get a full scholarship shes got nothing to say about it. At 18 she CANT control your life. Many parents are like this. Its hard not to be, honestly, because its so easy for college kids to screw their lives up in so many ways. Shes trying to protect you, but unfortunately shes doing it in the most boneheaded, stubborn, and utterly ineffective way.
Your mother fails to comprehend that if she protects you from the world she cant do it forever and regardless of whether she lets you out of the house at 18 or 30 you still wont be prepared for the outside world.
The short version of it is this; if you do not want her to control your life at 18, she wont be able to.
The long version is this. Dont burn bridges yet. Work on her. Use your father as leverage. Talk to him about how you want to start having more responsibility. Use the argument that you have to start learning to be an adult and to take responsibility for yourself at some point. Tell him that if your mother keeps you in the house and "safe" until you are 18 or even until you're done with college that doesnt guarantee that you are going to know how to deal with life, and that its better for you to start learning responsibility NOW while you are still living with them rather than just being released onto the streets with little real life experience.
It would also be a good idea to let him know that no, you have no intention of living at home for another 4 years. Tell him that you dont want to have to just leave and make your own way, you dont want to have to go through the blow to family relations that would happen if she refuses to allow you to choose your own school and you just had to go. Let him know you have no intention of staying and that you want his help so that you can leave on good terms.
|
|
i am 13 and my mom is a slut. She brings at least five guys a day. when she gets drunk and pass out. the man comes to my room. it is really scary for me. i can never have anyone over my house. My boyfriend really wants to do it with me, but i say no and he doesn't understand why. i don't want to end up like my mother. But i really love my boyfriend. What should i do. i need an outlet. (link)
|
First, do not compromise your values. If you dont want to end up like your mother, then dont. Guys are horny, your boyfriend (current or future) are always going to be horny. That is not your problem to deal with. Hell Im in a 2 1/2 year relationship with an active sex life and my GF sometimes tells me Im too horny. Its just the way we're wired.
Now. Outlet wise.
A good idea would be to find other people your age or somewhat older who share your values, a group of people whom you can gain support from. If you are religious, that can provide a nice support group. Youth groups, counselors, it can all help.
As to your mom... I dont know what to tell you. Some people would recommend calling social services. Because to be honest, she is not providing a good home for you and she is obviously not putting your welfare first. But it can be scary and having the state take custody away...
Family is a good option. Do you have any family members who you think would help, maybe even family who would take you in to give you a home away from your mother and her drunken habits? Grandparents, aunts or uncles?
I dont know if you are willing to try to get out of your mother's house. I dont know if its even an option. But I do know that that house is not the best place for you to be.
At the very least, a family member might be able to install a key-bolt lock on your door so that you can keep her and the men she brings over out of your room.
As a last resort... talk to a school counselor. Dont take that step without knowing that if social services gets involved they could very well remove you from your home, and if no one in the family wishes to claim custody you could end up in a foster home. But even that might be better than where you are now.
Lastly... you are going to want to do some research on emancipation. You cant do that until you are 16, but its something you definitely want to look into. The biggest benefit to emancipation is that when it comes time for college, if you are emancipated (means you become not a minor even though you are not 18 yet) you are far more eligible for college aid and grants and paying for college will be ALOT easier as you will qualify for a fairly ridiculous amount of free scholarship and grant money.
Good luck, and I hope things improve for you.
|
|
does anyone know if it is acually healthier to be a vegitarian? or if it is acually natural? im confused on the topic. (link)
|
Vegetarianism is no healthier than a balanced diet including meats. You can get everthing you need nutrient wise either way.
Most people are vegetarian for reasons other than the health aspect. Its either personal preference or a moral question (people who hate the meat industry)
|
|
I'm really freaking out.... Is downloading music from the internet illegal? I've downloaded 160+ songs and I really don't wanna get in trouble! Is there a way you can tell if the website is illegal or legal? Can anyone give me LEGAL websites that you can download music from? Only websites, not a program you have to download. Also, can anyone tell me if these websites are fine to use cause I downloaded most of my songs from this website www.seekasong.com, and some from www.mp3raid.com..... And is it ok if I burn a CD from iTunes with all my songs on it and give it to my friend? (they're downloaded songs and she won't do anything with them except listen to them, not like selling. All my songs go on my iPod nano [Blue]) Thanks! (link)
|
Its all technically illegal.
Ever heard of the RIAA?
They are an organization dedicated to the control and profit off of other people's music. They own the rights to a ridiculous amount of the music out there, and yeah, everything you're doing is illegal, there are no legal sites to do what you want.
Can anything be done about you burning a CD? no. Nothing at all.
Downloading, however, can be traced to your IP. I wouldnt suggest downloading any more music simply because you dont know enough about it to do it safely. While chances are very slim of you getting into trouble, the possibility is there, and the RIAA as an organization are complete assholes and like making examples out of people who dont have the money to fight them in court.
|
My boyfriend and i made a promise that if he didnt jerk off to porn i wouldnt drink. I told him that i didnt care if he did it in the shower because he wasnt looking at any other girls nakes...as you can tell im the jealous type not gonna lie. Well today i found out from 2 of his brothers that they have walked in on him doing it several times nd i made sure they werent just saying that. its like he promised on his dads like nd my life nd toher ppls lives that he wouldnt so i trusted him until today. it kills me when he does that not counting the fact hes been lieing to mealot lately...what should i do because his brothers dont want me sayin they told me so i dont wanan ruin their trust but i cant not say anything because its bothering me alot...what can i do to express my feelings to him about it without getting his brothers in trouble????
please help i really need it (link)
|
Honestly, you should get over it.
The point at which porn becomes a problem is the point at which it begins affecting the sex life.
If you do not have a sex life yet, then you really have no business telling him how he gets off.
|
|
If a guy cums in you and you are on your period, What are the chances of you being pregnant? (link)
|
If you can get ahold of a morning after pill, I would really, really suggest it.
You have a fairly high probability, as you are still considered fertile while on your period.
Get three tests. Take one today, take one in a week, and take one in two and a half weeks.
|
|