|
trouble
i am 13 and my mom is a slut. She brings at least five guys a day. when she gets drunk and pass out. the man comes to my room. it is really scary for me. i can never have anyone over my house. My boyfriend really wants to do it with me, but i say no and he doesn't understand why. i don't want to end up like my mother. But i really love my boyfriend. What should i do. i need an outlet.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Dear "13" who needs and outlet.I hope the following will be of help to you.
If you would like to get in touch with a real "Mom"
who cares about kids, please go to Mrs.Meg Meeker's web site. [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
also check out [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
and [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I hope this helps.
]
you are 13! That, I think is too young for sex
]
sweetie, just because you have sex with your boyfriend does not in ANY WAY mean that you will EVER turn out like your mother.
you have control and you know that you don't want to turn out like her.
so if you ever feel yourself getting out of control, stop yourself before anything gets too serious, like in your mom's case.
]
First, do not compromise your values. If you dont want to end up like your mother, then dont. Guys are horny, your boyfriend (current or future) are always going to be horny. That is not your problem to deal with. Hell Im in a 2 1/2 year relationship with an active sex life and my GF sometimes tells me Im too horny. Its just the way we're wired.
Now. Outlet wise.
A good idea would be to find other people your age or somewhat older who share your values, a group of people whom you can gain support from. If you are religious, that can provide a nice support group. Youth groups, counselors, it can all help.
As to your mom... I dont know what to tell you. Some people would recommend calling social services. Because to be honest, she is not providing a good home for you and she is obviously not putting your welfare first. But it can be scary and having the state take custody away...
Family is a good option. Do you have any family members who you think would help, maybe even family who would take you in to give you a home away from your mother and her drunken habits? Grandparents, aunts or uncles?
I dont know if you are willing to try to get out of your mother's house. I dont know if its even an option. But I do know that that house is not the best place for you to be.
At the very least, a family member might be able to install a key-bolt lock on your door so that you can keep her and the men she brings over out of your room.
As a last resort... talk to a school counselor. Dont take that step without knowing that if social services gets involved they could very well remove you from your home, and if no one in the family wishes to claim custody you could end up in a foster home. But even that might be better than where you are now.
Lastly... you are going to want to do some research on emancipation. You cant do that until you are 16, but its something you definitely want to look into. The biggest benefit to emancipation is that when it comes time for college, if you are emancipated (means you become not a minor even though you are not 18 yet) you are far more eligible for college aid and grants and paying for college will be ALOT easier as you will qualify for a fairly ridiculous amount of free scholarship and grant money.
Good luck, and I hope things improve for you.
]
First off, at 13 you shouldn't be having sex. If your boyfriend can't take no for an answer then dump him.
Next, talk to your mom. Explain how you feel. Talk to her about maybe seeing a consuler. It's proven that many promiscuous women had something that happened to them in their childhood to cause them to be this way.
If she still doesn't change try asking her if you can live with another family member. Is your father alive and well? If so he is a possible canidate. If not aunts, uncles, and grandparents would work too. This is a really unsafe enviorment for you to be in, and if your mom doesn't change you need to get out.
]
You won't like this, but I really think you should get out of the house. Tell you mom you want to live with a friend/grandparent/family member for the rest of this school year. Because telling her she's setting a bad example might not do enough. It might be hard, but try to tell a school counselor, a trusted teacher, or other adult about what is going on. They will help you out.
Also, I don't think you are ready for sex at thirteen. You should have at least taken a sex ed course. It also doesn't seem like a good time for you. And what happens if you get pregnant? What happens to the baby? You are too young. (sorry, i know thats exactly what you didnt want to hear, but its the truth)
xxtiffany
]
Hun, if your boyfriend really wants that. And he can't understand why you don't, then I don't think he's the one for you. I mean your 13 you have your whole life a head of you. I seriously think your mom needs help, I mean she can't do this to you. You honestly need to tell her how you feel. Because she's not acting like a mom at all. She also needs to realize what she's doing to her family. I hope this helps.
]
you should sit down with your mom and tell her how you feel. tell her shes not setting and good example for you and (your other siblings?..if you have any..and if you do you can have them help with this). what do the men do when they come in your room...? thats the question. and you shouldnt really be considering sex at 13.. i know you feel like you love him but you should wait until at least high school. you will be happier.
xoxo
]
I understand why you feel like you need to make better decisions than your mother, But your 13.You shouldn't even consider it at your age.Your boyfriend should realize you are still young.Even if you feel as though your ready, rethink it.Maybe later on you may consider it,But doing that won't make you a slut unless you abuse it and start doing it with numerous guys.Personally, I don't think having sex is a good idea at such a young age, for do not really know what love is.Until you REALLY know what love is then I suggest it.Alot of people regret doing it at such a young age and or with the wrong person.You need to talk to your boyfriend about it and make sure he understands why you wouldn't suggest doing it.I'm sure he'll understand and sorry if it sounds like I'm lecturing you.All I'm doing is trying to help.Hope I helped.
]
Don't do drugs as your outlet! And tell your mom to calm the hell down and start respecting herself and her body.
]
More Questions: |