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jerk?
My boyfriend and i made a promise that if he didnt jerk off to porn i wouldnt drink. I told him that i didnt care if he did it in the shower because he wasnt looking at any other girls nakes...as you can tell im the jealous type not gonna lie. Well today i found out from 2 of his brothers that they have walked in on him doing it several times nd i made sure they werent just saying that. its like he promised on his dads like nd my life nd toher ppls lives that he wouldnt so i trusted him until today. it kills me when he does that not counting the fact hes been lieing to mealot lately...what should i do because his brothers dont want me sayin they told me so i dont wanan ruin their trust but i cant not say anything because its bothering me alot...what can i do to express my feelings to him about it without getting his brothers in trouble????
please help i really need it
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I don't know how old you are, so since this is an adult question, I'm going to phrase my answer to an adult:
The easy answer here is get over it. That's not so easy, though. It isn't easy when you feel like you're not good enough because he is looking at other girls. I can understand that. Do you and he have sex? If you do, that can make it doubly upsetting because then you feel like why didn't he come to you?
The truth is that he's probably not going to stop. Pornography can be addicting; why should a man (or a woman) have to masturbate just THINKING about sex when they can watch it going on? You have to ask yourself whether you can deal with it or not. It doesn't sound like you can.
Now, personally... I don't like this kind of thing either. But you also have to be honest and evaluate how much sex you're giving him versus how much he needs. I make sure I'm available to my husband any and every time he wants it. That's not so he won't masturbate. It's because I want to fulfill his needs. And I like sex. =:0)
Sex is necessary for a healthy adult relationship. The truth is, one of the number one reasons men cheat is because they don't get enough sex or the kind of sex they want from their girlfriend/wife. This is not the woman's fault by any means; both partners need to compromise and come together to reach something they are both happy with. Many men are afraid to ask for what they want, as are many women. But you won't get it if no one knows you want it.
And lastly, since he's obviously a liar and has habits that you cannot deal with, I think you need to consider finding someone who's ideals are more in line with yours. There ARE guys who don't watch porn, or who will stop if you ask them to.
Hope this helps!
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relax.
seriously
like its his body and he needs to fulfill his own needs.
just let him jack off.
he's been jacking off wayyy before he knew about you.
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He's been beating off well before you guys were together, and he's going to beat off long after you're gone.
So, my advice is to get over it.
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Honestly, you should get over it.
The point at which porn becomes a problem is the point at which it begins affecting the sex life.
If you do not have a sex life yet, then you really have no business telling him how he gets off.
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Well, I certainly understand being the jealous type, because I am, too.
HOWEVER. There is a huge difference between "trusting" him and "demanding" of him that which you have no power or right to demand.
I mean, come on, you have given him a designated masturbation time limited to the shower only?
You can't expect him to just not masturbate because you don't want him to. It is perfectly normal and healthy for him to do so. Even if it is to porn.
Realistically? Those women aren't even women he would ever meet in his lifetime. So, better he masturbates to porn than meet up with some other girl he knows, correct?
I know this isn't what you want to hear, but this is life. You have to lighten up and not expect him to swear on anyone's lives (which one should NEVER do) to change. To do so only means you really don't respect him and his personal space.
ygs-29/f
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Dear Jerk,
Unfortunatly by telling him he can't look at porn and stuff that makes him want to do it more. But since you found this information out don't stay with him he is ovioulsy not worth it. If you want to end it just tell him you met someone else. Before he tells you he met someone else. If he asks you who just tell him that he no longer has the authority to asik questions like that.Turn and walk away.
Sincerely Maggie Maclean.
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