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my mom will not dictate my life.
No sleepovers. No boyfriends. No hanging out with boys. Yadda yadda yadda. My mom is strict and it's really annoying. I live in NY, and I was telling my mom how I wanted to go to Michigan University when I'm older and going into college. My mom got mad at me and told me that I'm not, and that I would go to a college that was close to home so I wouldn't have to stay in a dorm. How crazy is that? I'll be 18, and she cannot tell me what college I'm going to. She told me that even if I got a full scholarship to Michigan, she wouldn't let me go. It made me furious. I don't want to stay home for another four years of my life. I don't want to go to college near home. I want to be able to have fun without my mom breathing down my neck. My dad told me that any college was fine because he actually RESPECTS my opinion. I just don't know how to handle my mom. She's more overprotective than most. She can't control my life when I'm 18! It sickens me that I can't do anything that she doesn't approve of. How do I handle this?
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If you get a full scholarship shes got nothing to say about it. At 18 she CANT control your life. Many parents are like this. Its hard not to be, honestly, because its so easy for college kids to screw their lives up in so many ways. Shes trying to protect you, but unfortunately shes doing it in the most boneheaded, stubborn, and utterly ineffective way.
Your mother fails to comprehend that if she protects you from the world she cant do it forever and regardless of whether she lets you out of the house at 18 or 30 you still wont be prepared for the outside world.
The short version of it is this; if you do not want her to control your life at 18, she wont be able to.
The long version is this. Dont burn bridges yet. Work on her. Use your father as leverage. Talk to him about how you want to start having more responsibility. Use the argument that you have to start learning to be an adult and to take responsibility for yourself at some point. Tell him that if your mother keeps you in the house and "safe" until you are 18 or even until you're done with college that doesnt guarantee that you are going to know how to deal with life, and that its better for you to start learning responsibility NOW while you are still living with them rather than just being released onto the streets with little real life experience.
It would also be a good idea to let him know that no, you have no intention of living at home for another 4 years. Tell him that you dont want to have to just leave and make your own way, you dont want to have to go through the blow to family relations that would happen if she refuses to allow you to choose your own school and you just had to go. Let him know you have no intention of staying and that you want his help so that you can leave on good terms.
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Honestly, this kind of pisses me off. The University of Michigan is probably one of the best universities in the entire country. I actually plan on attending U of M- and why a mother would deny a child such an opportunity is beyond me. You actually are a legal adult, and you can make your own decisions when you're 18. That's legally, of course, but as long as you're living in your parent's home- they still have some control over you.
I think the best thing to do is to sit down with your mom and ask her in a mature way why she doesn't want you to go to a college out-of-state. Maybe she just doesn't want to see you leave home yet. Some mothers can get like this and it may seem like they want to keep you at home forever. She might not be able to accept you're growing up. I think that talking to her in a serious matter [where you don't yell or raise your voice] might bring out the truth as to why she wants you to attend college locally. You might even be able to convince her to let you attend- though it is ultimately YOUR choice.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location) Maybe this might have some Pride Points or something that might help you convince your mother how GREAT this university is.
--Jack
(15/m)
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talk to her about it and tell her that you think her rules are too strict, tell her that if she trusts you then she should trust you doing the things that she wont let you. also, tell her that you know what are bad situations and know how to work your way out of them. i hope i helped!
15/f
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