I'm a 38 year old psychologist living in Nashville, Tennessee. Until shortly over a year ago, I hosted a radio/tv talk show. At the moment, I'm amid plans to start a new one called, " One Man's Opinion". It's a radio show FOR women, ABOUT men, BY a man.
Seeing that alot of issues are age-related, please state your age when posing a question.
E-mail: cmclinphd@hotmail.com
Gender: Male
Location: Nashville, Tennessee
Occupation: Psychologist
Age: 38
Member Since: November 30, 2003
Answers: 349
Last Update: September 15, 2009
Visitors: 28387
Main Categories:
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Is it better to dance and look really stupid or not dance at all? Should I try taking danceing lessons? (link)
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You're asking for the wrong reasons.I, as many people do, dance because they enjoy it, it feels good to them and makes them happy. Believe me, I've seen HUNDREDS of people who " can't dance". They do anyway, and if they don't make a big deal about not being able to dance, most other people don't, either. So, I say...get out and cut a rug. As for dancing lessons...if it would please YOU, then take them. Don't do it because of what other people will think if you don't.
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Is it rude to tell someone what they are doing is extremely rude/disgusting? For example, a friend of mine chews with her mouth open, should I tell her it drives me crazy or just let her continue? (link)
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No, I don't see anything wrong with telling her that it's against ALL RULES OF SOCIAL ETIQUETTE to do so. Hell, if you think it'll help, let her read this. Oh, but no, it's not considered rude to advise her of her ill-manneredness. By the way, did you know it is rude to ask a woman what type of perfume she's wearing? I only say that because alot of people don't.
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One of my best friends is a hacker-gamer who, I suppose, can get anything he wants. He's a loner and a cranky brilliant sort of guy. Thing is, I dont know what to give him for Yuletide giving--it's illegal for me to buy a gun, even though that would please him, and I can't afford a motorcycle. I want to give him something good. Anyone have any suggestions? (link)
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Since it's illegal for YOu to buy a gun, why don't you see if the place at which it would be purchased offers gift certificates. That way, you can get one in the amount of the gun you think he may want, and HE can go buy it. But hell, you can't go wrong with a motorcylcle :)
Now THAT'S what I call a best friend.
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Look I really love my boyfriend weve been together for 3 years and I want to take it to the next level(sex)and he wants to know if im really sure oh here's the catch im a virgin he knows of course so what should I do???????????? (link)
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If you're asking what to do, then maybe you AREN'T sure. First of all, I like your boyfriend for waiting for three years. Apparently, he hasn't pressured you and that gains alot of respect from me. I think he's only asking if you're sure because he knows how important it is and is simply being a gentleman. I wish you had stated how old you are. But, I'm going to answer in the best way I can with what I've been given.
I think he's being a gentleman. What should you do?.....answer him HONESTLY. ARE you sure? Think about it, and THEN make your decision. Good luck and clear thinking.
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I have a friend who is a really good friend of mine and she has boyfriends like all the time but she is not a slut or a hoe.These guys ask her to do all these things withher like touch her and everything and she is afraid to say no cuz it would ruin there relationship so she does them with him I just dont want her to get hurt what am i to do!!!!! Love,Help (link)
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Explain to her that if saying no to something that will demean her will ruin her relationship, then she never had a relationship to begin with. Tell her that even though YOU don;t judge her and never will, explain to her how that type of behavior may appear to others, and THAT is enough to ruin more than her relationship, that's enough to slay her REPUTATION ( which follows you a lot longer than a relationship ). Tell her that you care a great deal about her and don't wish to see her perceived in a way you KNOW to bew untrue. She may be allowing such things to happen because she feels a little less about herself than she should. Try and reinforce alot of the good things about her and see if that will raise her esteem enough to realize that she doesn't have to engage insuch activity to get the praise she feels she deserves. You're one hell of a friend.
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Here's the situation:
I am a Baptist. My in-laws and my husband are Methodists. My husband and I attend a Baptist church. Under most circumstances, I don't pay attention to denominational differences, because I think we're all going to the same place anyway.
The problem is that my in laws, especially my mother-in-law, have made it clear that they don't like the fact that we're going to the "wrong" church. Earlier we even suggested that they could come to church on Christmas Eve with us, and my mother-in-law burst into tears and ran out of the room.
Evidently, the fact that I am not a Methodist offends them deeply. I don't want to join a different church just to please them, though. Any thoughts on what to do that doesn't involve hurting everyone's feelings? (link)
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Dear...when it comes to religion, there WILL be hurt feelings. you know the old adage, " Don't discuss reigion and politics"? Well, it's SO true. Although it would be great if you could get along with your in-laws, like chocolate chip and creme, it's probably not going to happen. You have already extended an invitation for them to come and "see" how you worship and they declined. how mauch more civil could you have been, my dear?
If it becomes unbearable, why not have your husband talk to them since they are his blood parents. tell him just how much it hurts you to have have to endure this and I'm sure he will intervene on your behalf. there's no need for anyone to "convert" anyone else. but it IS important for everyone to offer decency and respect to others' right to worship in a way that feels best for them.
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One of my friends at college, let's call him Try, seems to have developed feelings for me. Isn't that great? Well, not really. As much as I'd like to see him happy, I like another guy, Catch for the purposes of this excersize.
I made a post on a messageboard implying I had feelings for a guy. I was referring to Catch. I didn't figure there was any way anyone could interpret it as being anyone BESIDES Catch.
Part two. I sign up for livejournal so it's easier to talk to Try while he's back in Taiwan, halfway across the world. Consequently, I can now see all his private posts on HIS livejournal. Turns out, Try was hoping it was HIM I was talking about. And there were also random outbursts about how it was [female name, let's say Throw] all over again. Now, I know of his history with Throw, and I don't want to be another Throw.
Now I feel like I know stuff I shouldn't, and I feel bad about making Try feel bad, and I still care about Catch more than anything. It's a mess.
RuntimeException! What's a girl to do? (link)
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Don't balme yourself for something that's not your fault. First, you didn't read something you weren't supposed to, it was his live journal, was it not.? Now, if you're looking for a resolution that will leave everyone in the clear about where each and all stand, simply write in your journal, for all to see, WHO it is you like and make no bones about it. Tell it like it is. Don't let your dread of becomeing a "Throw", guilt you into doing something you'll regret later on.
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I am a 31-year-old divorcee with a 4-year-old son. I also am charged with caring for my developmentally disabled 33-year-old brother, who has the mental capacity of 8-year-old. My son's father is moving next week, and taking my child with him. I will not see my son again until Christmas, and then after that not until April. I am devastated that the family courts here in Seattle have allowed this to happen (no, there's nothing wrong with me...my ex just won), and I am now at a loss as to how to handle this. I can't stop crying, I can't take the time off my new job to go to therapy, and I have to be careful falling apart at home because it scared my brother.
HELP? (link)
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See if your job has an option for counselling through them. Most places have a particular group to whom they may refer employees needing counselling. Hopefully, if they do, this will not only allow you to seek the counselling that you DO SO need, but, MAY also allow you to not miss pay as you attend. Let me know. if there's anything else I can do for you, feel free to write me and let me know. REALLY.
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Can you buy birth control pills over the counter or do I need a doctor's prescription before I can get it? (link)
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Although there is talk of the "morning after" pill making it's way onto the shelves of this great country, you still have to have a doctor's prescription to obtain birth control pills. They have to be tailored to your body's specifics and anything short of that may not give you the results you seek.
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My daughter is currently 13 years old. She's fairly mature and doesn't dress slutty. Now, she has liked this guy for about half a year. Today, he asked her out. They want to go see a movie with another couple their age on monday. I don't know if I should let her go. What is your stance on this? Is 13 too young to be dating? (link)
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I think this is more a matter of trust than it is their ages. I think that if you feel relatively good about the job you've done with instilling certain values in your daughter, and I'm sure you have ( you're aware of the fact that she liked this guy for over a year ), then I don't think you'll have a problem...and neither will she. You've done a good job, mom, let go of the reigns a little and see if she reflects the trust you have in her.
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I meant other people's grammar. Happy Holidays. (link)
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Well it couldn't hurt to keep an eye on my own :) Thank you. best for you and yours.
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ok i want truth ive writen a few poems and i want your feedback please
A Dad's Bad Day!!!
It was late saturday night,
when you turned on the light,
you sat by my bed,
and all I felt was dread,
I knew something had happened,
but wut I did not know what,
then you started to speak,
and then I knew,
I didnt want to believe I thought you lied,
but then you showed me where she layed,
on the ground in her home,
to what her dad had done,
She was so cold with pure love in her eyes,
I should of done more,
but she said "No its alright he didnt do it" as she stared at the sky,
this wasnt the first time she had marks to bare,
But she would say "Ooh that was Bear",
but how could a dog brusie her that bad,
The thought of this accident it seemed so sad,
As we stand above her body,
We now start looking for Mr. Nobody,
We found out he skipped town,
Now where do we look now?,
Its such a shame,
for a girl to pay,
for what her dad did because he had a bad day. (link)
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Hmmm, "insightful" poem. Would you be kind enough to have "her" write me at my personal e mail?
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ok well im a female and im really curious about sex but i wont until im married so in order to pleasure myslf i have to finger myself but im not sure how to i mean i know im supposed to like put my finger in my hole but i dont get pleasure by diong that so what should i do and how should i finger myslf well how do i finger myself? (link)
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Hmmm, MOST women find the act of moving the finger "in and out" pleasurable. Thus the term, " Thrusting". But you will have to decide for yourself what's pleasurable for you. Pay attention the labia, the "lips" and other areas surrounding the vaginal opening. These areas can be sensitive and pleasurable, as well. Find out what works best for you. And in closing...congrats on your choice to wait until marriage. I'm very, very impressed!
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Is it possible to become pregnant through oral sex (female giving to male) ? I was wondering since if you ingest semen isn't it possible for it to work through your body?
Also, is it possible to become pregnant if a couple is merely kissing or say fooling around and the male ejaculates into the vaginal area? They are not naked, boxers and shorts on the male and underwear on the female.
This may seem silly but I really need to know since I am having a difficult time finding alternatives to sex since I feel I am not ready for that yet. Advice would be great! (link)
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Nothing seems "silly" when it comes to your health. Number one: If there is only oral sex, and the semen is ingested, then there is no fear of impregnation. The acids within the stomach cavity serve as an excellent assasin for any sperm still alive.
As for the second. That's a bit trickier. Even though the genitalia is covered, the risk is still there. Semen has a way of working it's way through semi-porous materials. That's why "lamb skin" condoms are not recommended for birth control alone. The semen containing the sperm can find it's way through the openings and into the vaginal cavity, possibly leading to impregnation. I would imagine the same thing rings true for underwear. Even though they may APPEAR to present a barrier, there are small, almost microscopic opening within the material that could allow for the seepage of semen. My recommendation? Don't. Err on the side of caution. And by the way, notb a silly question at all. Quite intelligent, indeed.
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okay so me and my boyfriend just met a month ago and we're already having sex. I really enjoy it but i think it s too soon! what should I do?
Love,
Horny Baby (link)
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Well, it depends on why you think it's to soon. If you think it's too soon because that's not the type of person you are, or it's not something that you're accustomed to doing, then, you have to ask yourself if it's something that you can do and find yourself ok with in the long run. If it's because you feel that he may have a certain "idea" about you for having "done it" so soon, then forget it. Changing it now wouldn't change his mind. Bottom line, if you think it's too soon, then it probably is.
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Okay, I'm a sort of goody-goody. I don't do drugs, I don't have sex, I've never had a boyfriend, etc. etc. A lot of my friends don't believe that oral sex is something bad. i understand that it's something that a lot of people do, and I also understand that it could be much worse, but I really think it's gross, and I just wanted some people's opinions on it. Is it "naughty" to have oral sex?
*Just Wondering* (link)
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What's naughty can't be determined by just one person. Each couple has to decide among themselves what will and what will NOT be acceptable between the two of them. And, with the changing of the mate, so changes the agreement. In the interest of professionalism, I'll keep MY preferences to myself. But, out of respect for your question I'll say, " I don't think the act itself is naughty. It's just a preference, and one that everyone has the right to choose. So, if it's not right for you, then that's ok.
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My cat, whom I owned for a happy 11 months, ran away. His name was Caspian and he was completely grey, not to mention the most sweet tempered and cutest cat I've even known. My mother let him out one day (even though we both decided before we got him that he would be an INDOOR cat AT ALL TIMES) and he never came back. This, of course, depressed me greatly and he still hasn't come back after two weeks. Slowly, I've let my hope die. How do I deal? (link)
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I'm a dog owner, but I can imagine your sorrow. First of all, know that cats...even "indoor" cats, are GREAT survivors!!! Your cat can probably exist out there three times as long as any dog I may have, I assure you. That doesn't bring him back, I know. But, it could help in knowing that he probably is doing a lot better than you're imagining. I hate to say this for fear of giving you false hope. But, cats have been known to leave and come back after MONTHS of being away. I don't know what time of the year it was, but if it was time for them to go into "heat", then that's another consideration. Might I suggest that you prepare yourself for the fact that you may never see him again, BUT take some solace in the fact that he's well equipped to fend for himself. I'm sorry for you.
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Hi!I am a complete dog Freak and i have a chance 2 earn one.one problem i have 2 keep my room clean 4 a whole year.and i am the messiest person ever.HELP! (link)
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Hmmm, how bad do you want this dog? If it's bad enough, then keeping your room clean will not be a problem. Better yet, if you STARTED to keep it clean, then after awhile, it develops into a habit, and that makes it less of a chore. Hmmm, a new GOOD habit AND a dog! What more could you ask for? There's really no magical answer to this, I'm sorry. If you want the dog bad enough, then you'll do what it takes, don't you think? Good luck.
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Why do cows have spots? (link)
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Because if they had STRIPES...they'd be zebras.
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why do birds fly (link)
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Because we get all up in arms when they get on the bus.
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