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I hope that if you come to this site, you feel at least some reassurance. Life is messy, life isn't perfect, and I love that there is a place, virtual as it is that can acknowledge this. I don't pretend to be perfect or know everything, but I promise that if you ask me a question, or if I see one and take an interest, I will answer it as best I can.

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advice

Ok well I'm studying for my Geometry final and I have this question on my review sheet that says:

The bases of a trapezoid are 12 and 16. How long is the median?

I've looked through my book, went onto the phschool website and watched the videos, went through all my papers, and I can't find how to do it. Can somebody please help me?

By the median are they referring to the amount you multiply the height by to get the area?

I'm fairly sure that the median is the result of adding the length of the top side of the trapezoid to the bottom side, and then dividing this number by 2. (so (12+16)/2 = median)

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Theres this boy... he lives like 10,000 miles away from me. So i only see him during winter break. Actually, i just met him last year. But im going to see him again this year.

Hes the cutest boy ive ever met! And hes really nice. Im kinda good friends with his sister. We hang out during break and text somtimes but thats pretty much it.

One night during break we spent the whole time cuddling kinda. And ive never done that with any1 before and it was so sweet!

Hes in high school, and i start next year. We would never see eachother exept on break and maybe during the summertime.

Anyway, my question is... is the difference too much to flirt with him again this year? I was in 7th last year, and he was in 10th but i didnt notice what a hugee difference that was until now. And since im so much younger, any chance he likes me?
Im not talking about dating or anything. But just flirting.
Am i gonna look like a little kid flirting with him?

idk what goes on in an 11th grade boys mind! Please help

Yes, it is a pretty big age difference. My advice to you is to see how he treats you when you get there. If he seems relaxed about your presence and if he is treating you like his equal, then feel free to flirt, as long as it's nothing serious. I mean, it sortof depends on the flirting you're talking about. If it's more like teasing him, it's usually fine in more cases than, say, if you're touching him while you're teasing him. Mild flirting is harmless and would be fun if he goes along with it. It's good that you're not expecting to date or anything of that nature. With that in mind, you should be fine.

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so i have been kissing my boyfriend for months now, and we have been to first base (above waist touching), while we are kissing his hands go up my shirt and do what they do, but i don't have anything to do... i need some ideas on what i can do with my hands that will entice the making out and let him have some pleasure out of the kissing than just me... i have tried running my fingers and just touching his back but what else??

any ideas would help!
thanks...

Have you ever tried putting your hands up HIS shirt? It's not only for guys to do, really, it's fun for girls, too =] You may have to watch as areas like the stomach are sensitive, but you could try touching his back under his shirt, touching him anywhere above the waist if you feel like it... just have fun with it!

Also, I agree with previous advicers that running fingers through the hair, ect, can feel great for the guy.

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where can i watch akeela and the bee online for free that works!!


and also "Spellbound"?

www.flickpeek.com
www.alluc.org

some sites I use for online show/movie watching =]

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ok well this is really embarassing .. everyone has made out already and i still havnt had my first kiss people tell me that you have to wait for the right guy then when you know your ready it will just happen

well i found a guy that i like and he likes me and we've become really close .. im afraid that he'll slip away if i dont make a move i'll bore him ... whens the perfect time to make a move? whats the worse that can happen??

The best thing to do is, once you've gotten to know him more, ask him out in semi-casual ways, ie, if there is something interesting going on in your town/city/suburb, ask if he'll go with you, or ask him if he wants to hang out on any specific day (eg. on a random school day, or Friday night, he's not doing anything so you ask, "Hey, would you like to get a hot chocolate with me?". You could also ask him out more formally to see a movie, but these can be less fun since you don't really get to talk to the person. Establishing some kind of regular hanging out is probably the best way not to bore the guy, better than randomly kissing him when you're not really sure it's going anywhere. Don't feel like you have to rush into your first kiss. There's something to be said for going with the flow, and not forcing anything.

So anyway, once you've sortof hung out a few times, check to see if you get "I like you" vibes from him. Usually you can tell by how much he teases you, or the way he looks at you. You don't have to be afraid to make the first move, but pouncing on him to kiss him is sortof awkward and random. Basically, get into the habit of being closer to him. You can touch his hand and see if he'll hold it, put an arm around him, tease him whilst playfully tugging his arm. Once you've broken the "touch" barrier, you can move your face in closer. Tilt your head to the side and part your lips slightly as you lean in. Once your lips touch, close your mouth slowly and then lean back again.

As it's your first time, you may want to follow him for the actual kiss, ie mirror his lip movements. You may want to wait until you guys get more flirtatious, establish that you like each other and want to see each other regularly, or you may just go for it. You could try going for the kiss yourself or you could watch him, see when he's ready, or wait for him to kiss you first.

The worst that can happen in this case is you could be a terrible kisser - likely if you haven't kissed before, but nothing to worry about if you let him guide you, or if he likes you. If he likes you it won't really matter how skilled you are. Actually him liking you is probably just a good thing in general. The absolute worst would be to find out he didn't care about you at all. This is avoided with my earlier suggestions to be sure you know him, ask him out, ect. Don't sweat it too much. Mainly enjoy on getting to know the guy and trusting what feels right to you. Kissing can be fun, but try not to let that pressure you. Who gets it first isn't a race so just move at your own speed =]

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Ok, so, I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months. He moved about 2 months ago. I have major trust issues, and, I'm always worried he's going to cheat on me. I mean, when he was here, he'd always kinda flirt with other girls around me [mostly this really pretty girl] and he's grab her boobs and her ass. I never said anything about it though, because I just can't make myself. Well, now I guess he met this girl down there with the same personality as me. And, he didn't tell me this, but he told my best friend, that, she wears thongs like I do, and he'll pull them up her back like he did to me. I'm really worried. I mean, that hurt. And, now he doesn't call me as often as he used to. I'm not the kind to confront people. What do I do? Am I just being paranoid? Thanks.
[Sorry it was so long.]

You're worried about him cheating on you? Touching another girl inappropriately like he is is cheating. Keep this in mind, and stop telling yourself things like "yeah but I'm just being paranoid." If you're uncomfortable in any way, you HAVE to confront him about it for it to be a functioning relationship. Otherwise you'll just be holding in all these feelings of insecurity and start blaming yourself: not how you should feel in any relationship. In my opinion, you should break up with him already. You could try the confrontation route "I don't feel comfortable with you grabbing other girls in the boobs and ass." and see what he says, but honestly, if he's been doing this pretty much since the start of the relationship, there may not be much left to save. You deserve way WAY better.

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at what age are you supposed to go to a gyno cause I'm 15 and really don't ever want to go is there a law making you go or can you just not go

There is no law of when to see a gynecologist, however, it is recommended that you go once you are eighteen, or once you become sexually active.

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I have fingered myself and i dont' think its that great its nice but its not orgasm is every girl like me?

Some people are able to orgasm easily, some are not. Either way, there's nothing wrong with you, but yes, some people orgasm more easily than others. For tips on this subject visit http://www.coolnurse.com/masturbation_howto.htm

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if i fell in love with tht man so bad and been together long time and have a sexually active, wld it pssible to get climax more often if i show a man more love? if i don't love tht man just for sex will it cause less climax cuz i don't love that man?

You could probably still get the same physical satisfaction if you were only with a guy for sex. However, if you were in love at the same time, you would get more of an emotional satisfaction. You would most probably enjoy yourself more for personal/emotional reasons if you are in love, because after having sex/showing love you would feel the kind of support and feelings of being cared for that only a loving relationship could really give you. During the actual act of love itself it may not make a difference, but it may make a difference, on the other hand, about how you felt about being with the person afterward.

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this is a verse in the song belt loops by the films. i was just wondering exactly what does it mean...?

Just so we're straight and you don't get the wrong impression
Don't need a silly little overdue confession
Just remember when you're over at his house undressing
He's just another sucker who's about to learn a lesson

I read the lyrics over for the entire song. What I got from it is the lyricist is upset about his girlfriend always hanging around this guy, talking to him on the phone, and putting her fingers through his belt loops. The singer is upset about his girlfriend cheating on him, but he's more bored and fed up than say, outright furious at the girl. The last few lyrics translated would be "I don't need you to confess you were cheating since I already knew a while ago. Just remember that when you're sleeping with him that I'm going to teach him a lesson (beat him up, ect) for doing so."

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[[Took Something The Doctor Just Gave Me To Get Rid Of The Drousyness I Guess Hopefully I'll Be Fine.]]

I don't know why we had school today it was so bad outside with the snow but I had a doctors appointment anyway really early in the morning and wit what he was checking and looking at he gave me some medicine to take starting today aswell that would make me drousy. I went to school anyway because I had a test today and I didn't want to miss anything important. Well the medicine was more dousy making then I thought. I was out of it! Well Adam [[AKA Best Friends Boyfriend... even though I like him and BFF knows I do. I liked him before she went out with him, and she kinda knew I did but not like hardcore so]] Well Adam.. told me that at the dance next friday wanted to kiss Becky. But didn't know how she would take me... That's not something I wanted to hear-- and I was probably walking like a drunk person I fell. [[Walking down Hall to lunch]] He helped me up, and then Becky came running down the hall because it was Taco Day to see us holding hands,,, VERY BREIFLY. And I pulled away and said Thank You. Well She was RAWR on me! It didn't madder that Adam grabbed my hand and was heling me up, or anything. I was slirring my words are everything , it probably looked like I was drunk and what didnt help the situation Adam --arm and arm-- brought me to the nurse. After argueing for 15 minutes was just like Fuck This grabbed my arm and began helping me up the stairs.
I don't want Becky to be mad at me but because I told her I liked Adam she now thinks Im out to get him or something...
And now Adams asked me 3 times in one hour if Im okay. He hasnt bothered to see if Becky was fine or not...
Help.

He may not have noticed that Becky was particularly upset, or if he did, he may not have thought it was a big deal.

Explain to Becky what was going on - that you were drowsy from medication and had difficulty walking, and that Adam was really just helping you to the nurses' office. Explain that if he seemed like he was holding you too close or whatnot it was because he was worried about you falling on the floor from the way you were feeling. If he was worried, it was because, well, I'd probably be worried seeing you as you were completely out of it! Also say that you're sorry for what happened, and if it seemed like you were trying to get with her boyfriend then you apologize for that as well though you really did not mean to give that impression.

On the side note, though, about the meds, is that a lot of the time you may be feeling a certain way from them because you are anticipating some sort of reaction - it's called the placebo affect.

But anyway, I wish the best to you. Your situation doesn't seem like it is that serious, so hopefully it will blow over soon (and your friend isn't as mad as you think she was).

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okay so 15f...i play volleyball, and i have flat feet. So its never really effected me, just that recently like in the arch of my foot, when i get up to walk or lean on the floor on my knees, at random moments like my foot hurts there. It feels like a sharp pain, like my bone is stretching my skin and gonna pop out or something (but not that that servere)Its my right foot. Here is the location: on your right foot, go to the left side of your right foot where the ancle bone is. Go all the way down to where you get to the bottom of your foot. It feels normal afterwards though.

You could probably get some kind of insole at a drug store. Otherwise, I would recommend seeing a pediatrist (foot doctor). It's expensive, but they can get you custom-made orthodics, which are like insoles, and will fix your flat feet. They may also suggest a good brand of insole if you don't want to pay for the orthodics. Ask a parent or check the yellow pages =]

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15/f

I have a 'semi' guy friend. What I mean by semi, is that we talk a lot in the halls and laugh a lot and like each others company. However, I don't have his number, only his screenname [he rarely gets on]. I have a crush on him, and really like him a lot. Recently, he transferred out of the one class that I had with him because he didnt like it. There's this cheerleader, and when she saw him in the hall, she goes "OMG [his name]! It's SO GOOD TO SEE YOU! OMG CLASS IS SOOO boring without you! You should switch to my art class" and he goes "yeah I know, [class name] sucks". I was right there, and I was about to go and talk to him. She's always making flirtatious remarks when she's around him, and quite frankly, I think she's obnoxious and a sl*t [she's been with 4 other guys, hooked up with them, gotten drunk, had pics up on facebook semi naked and her in her thong]. I recently found out that this OTHER girl has a crush on him as well. I was a little depressed when I found out that he had transferred classes. We still see each other during passing period, and my best friends locker is right next to his.

I talked to my mom about this and she said that if he's a good guy, he'll realize that I was right there to begin with. The Sweetheart Dance is coming up in early February. I'm a little scared because I think that he will ask the cheerleader to go with him. My mom said that again, he's not a little kid, and will know who the right girl is. He's not like most guys who only try to get in a girls pants. He's not a major flirt, and he's really nice [not to mention cute]. I know that I should probably get over him, but I'm not desperate or anything like that. I want to hang out with him and just be around him more. He only talks to me and occasionally the cheerleader when she approaches him. I want to be the one to make the first move, but my mom said that I should let him do what he wants, and if he truly likes me, he'll go after me instead of me going after him.

Any advice? Sorry that this was so long.

If he truly likes you he would ask you out. However, he's a guy, he's a teenager, he doesn't seem to know you, the cheerleader, or the other girl very well. He doesn't know who he likes.

That's what flirting is for. The cheerleader, though I'm not suggesting you emulate her, has the right idea, here. She's letting this guy get to know her, she's joking around with him, flirting, letting him know who she is and that she's interested.

While flat out asking him out would be intimidating and put pressure on the guy, you can make the first move in other ways, in the flirting way of sending off "I'm interested" vibes. If you take your mom's advice completely and just wait for him to "come to his senses", he'll move on and never notice you, because you never allowed him to notice you in the first place.

What you need to do is be his friend but have a bit of a jokey/flirty relationship with him. You can look at what you would consider to be flirty as something to think about, but at the very least you should get to know him. Talk to him when you can, say hi to him in the hallways, and try to catch him at the beginning/ end of class. If something happens and you have a funny comment to say about it, say it when he's nearby, and try to make him laugh. Laughing and being semi ridiculous is sorta the spirit of flirting in a lot of ways.

In the halls, when you see him and have started talking a little more, try to strike up conversations. Don't worry necessarily about how intelligent/funny/thought out your words are if it 's gonna stop you from saying something... and if you're both bored after school you can hang around him and strike up conversation, or suggest going out for a coffee or something once you get to know him a little better. It's a way to ask someone out without any of the awkwardness or the expectation of a "date".

As for the sweetheart dance, it's a little ways away. Use your judgment: if you feel you should ask him, go for it; if you think it's awkward, don't. Mainly focus on getting to know him better and developing some kind of friendship/flirtation with him. Don't be intimidated by the cheerleader. Girls like that sometimes just flirt with a lot of different people when it doesn't mean anything, anyway... she may even have a boyfriend on the side, who knows. Just focus on you, and getting to know the guy. And good luck =]

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Can a woman get herpese on her breast?

You can get herpes through oral transmission, from an open cold sore on someone's mouth, or you can get genital herpes, which is transferred sexually and appears in genital areas. You may also get the cold sore type herpes in your genital areas through someone with a cold sore transferring the herpes there orally (oral sex). A woman would not be able to get herpes on her breasts unless there was some kind of open wound there, and bodily fluid was transferred. Someone would have to rub their herpes sores over a cut on a woman's boobs for her to get herpes - and I'm assuming this isn't gonna happen to you any time soon =]... And even if this did happen, no matter how herpes is transmitted, the sores are only present either in the genitals or in the mouth.

If you have any weird inflamations/ sores on your breasts you should probably get them checked out anyway, but I'm thinking that it probably isn't herpes.

for more info: http://www.cdc.gov/std/Herpes/STDFact-Herpes.htm

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15/f

a bunch of my friends say I have really thin hair. My hair is a little longer than shoulder length, about light brown and i have no clue what texture it is. You could say straight, but then I have a lot of kinks in them (when its like straight then all of a sudden there's a little wave, then straight and then wavey) so I normally straighten my hair. I use heat protecting spray before and then I use a serum after (silk drops from FX) so my question is what can i do to have thick/medium thick hair?

another question of mine is that I part my hair on the left and sometimes it looks really bad. like the ride side of my part will be flat and nice, but then the left part (the side with more hair) will be higher than the right. what should I do about this?

thanks to all answers

One side will always be slightly higher than the other if you part it uneavenly. It probably isn't going to go away, but it might help to straighten/comb/style your hair after you part it.

To have thicker hair, there are many shampoos that claim to add "volume" and you can check those out. There are also tons of mousse/ hairsprays/ styling gels out there. I haven't used any myself, but they aren't hard to find. Just go to any drugstore and look for a product that claims to add "volume" to your hair and follow the directions on the back.

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His brother said he would help me with contacting his friends and things but everything else is up to me.. One of my friends had an idea to do paintballing but it really doesn't sound like his style.
There's going to be between 8-10 boys he's friends with and most likely their girlfriends and a few of my friends. Heeeeeelpppppp!

You could try inviting everyone over to your house/ to a park somewhere for a traditional party, where there is music and cake and a lot of people hanging out in general. From there you may have to plan some kind of activity, like soccer, a trip to the park/ local woody area, a giant game of twister, musical chairs (or if not enough chairs you could find anything that you could sit on, like headbands, beanbags, ect). The nice part about that kind of party is you don't actually have to plan anything for it to work, and it's probably the cheapest and easiest thing to organize. All you'd need is a house (which most people have), and food.

If you're thinking of the organized party place scheme, you could also do something other than paintball like bowling, laserquest, trampoline jumping, ceramic painting, rock climbing, bowling - most places for general entertainment have some kind of birthday party throwing option.

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I love this boy but you see he acts different when he is around his friends. I told him that he does but he doesn't listin to me and blams the whole thing on me saying i am changing and that im not the same person he feel in love with. i don't know what to do and my friends just seem to not know either. i need help. Do you have any advise for me?

A lot of boys act different around their friends, in the same way everyone usually acts different in their friend groups. When you're in the group of people you're friends with, you usually act differently to impress, to be noticed, and to be predictable in some ways - usually everyone has a role they tend to play in a group. He may not realize he is changing his behavior when he is in his group of friends. Likely he is because everyone has two selves in that sense; everyone has the facade they use in large groups, as opposed to the more serious, personal side most will only let you see once you are alone with them.

As for him not listening to you - you'd have to provide more information about the conflict for me to offer any more advice. If he feels like you are changing, it may be that he is getting to know you more and seeing a different side of yourself that you let most people see, or it may mean that you are acting differently towards him because you love him/are in a relationship with him, or it may be you're actually changing; you'd have to give some context for anyone to answer that as well.

My main advice would to consider how this boy is acting towards you. You could try talking to him to resolve whatever problem you seem to be having, but if he always blames you, or if he says he doesn't feel like he loves you anymore for whatever reason, it may be time to forget him and move on with your life.

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has anyone seen results in running in the stomach region? how much did you run and how many weeks did it take you to see results?

Running makes you leaner on the whole, stomach skinniness included. From my own personal experience, after a few weeks of running 3-4 days a weeks I've noticed results.

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okay so i only had sex once and it was just a few weeks ago.. and i didnt bleed and it didnt hurt during or after.. and i have been fingered before that ..so how do i know if my hymen broke already? oh yah i also use tampons if that helps

Using tampons will usually break your hymen. If you didn't bleed during sex, that is a sign that your hymen has already been broken.

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i dont really have a long waist, and i have a little flab on my stomach.. so what are some ways to make it seem like i have a longer waist, other than longer shirts because then it will show my stomach, and my stomach isnt completly flat.... so yah

Long shirts can still work, as longer as they aren't tight enough to show everything. You could also get long shirts and layer by putting a colourful tank top/t-shirt on top. The double layers can usually conceal extra flab, and the colours can distract attention away from it. As well, heavier materials in shirts conceal stomachs because they don't mold tightly around your body, like some tops do. Another thing you could try is wearing dresses over pants; wearing long, zip-up jackets or hoodies over what you normally wear, or buying longer, empire-waisted tops (I'm not sure if they still sell those, but sometimes you can find tops with a tighter fit around the top, and a looser fit around the stomach area). You could also wear a longer, baggy top or dress over leggings or skinny jeans. This stretches out your waist and flatters your legs.

Also, remember that whenever you buy a top that makes you feel self-conscious or whatever probably doesn't actually make your stomach out to other's as much as you'd think - it's pretty easy to be over ultra self conscious about your own body. As well, anything that shows your stomach usually stretches out after being worn a few times.

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