I love this boy but you see he acts different when he is around his friends. I told him that he does but he doesn't listin to me and blams the whole thing on me saying i am changing and that im not the same person he feel in love with. i don't know what to do and my friends just seem to not know either. i need help. Do you have any advise for me?
Everyone is different around thier friends then they are when they are in a large group. Unless his different is abusive, cruel or disrespectful, I'm not sure I see your point.
My only advice is to make sure you still have valuable times alone togeather. To make any further call we would need more details. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
junebug93 answered Monday January 14 2008, 5:16 pm: A lot of boys act different around their friends, in the same way everyone usually acts different in their friend groups. When you're in the group of people you're friends with, you usually act differently to impress, to be noticed, and to be predictable in some ways - usually everyone has a role they tend to play in a group. He may not realize he is changing his behavior when he is in his group of friends. Likely he is because everyone has two selves in that sense; everyone has the facade they use in large groups, as opposed to the more serious, personal side most will only let you see once you are alone with them.
As for him not listening to you - you'd have to provide more information about the conflict for me to offer any more advice. If he feels like you are changing, it may be that he is getting to know you more and seeing a different side of yourself that you let most people see, or it may mean that you are acting differently towards him because you love him/are in a relationship with him, or it may be you're actually changing; you'd have to give some context for anyone to answer that as well.
My main advice would to consider how this boy is acting towards you. You could try talking to him to resolve whatever problem you seem to be having, but if he always blames you, or if he says he doesn't feel like he loves you anymore for whatever reason, it may be time to forget him and move on with your life. [ junebug93's advice column | Ask junebug93 A Question ]
solidadvice4teens answered Monday January 14 2008, 5:12 pm: Tell him that unless he listens to you and stops treating you differently with friends that you're gone. He'll get it. Also add this for effect.
"Yes, I have changed. I've changed my mind about you." He sounds full of himself and thinks he can walk all over you and treat you like shit. Put him in his place.
orphans answered Monday January 14 2008, 5:10 pm: He's the one who is changing, not you. So don't worry, he is probably just going through a stage right now and trying to put the blame on someone besides himself because he doesn't want to know the truth about himself and that he acts differently around different people. If he is making you uncomfortable and treating you badly, and you feel the realtionship is turning sour, break up with him. I know that sounds harsh and I know how you feel, it sucks that he acts the way he does but what can you do? Who wants to be in a relationship like that? Maybe give him an option and tell him that until he changes and respects you, listens to you, and doesn't blame you for his mistakes, then you will get back together with him. Take a temporary or permanent break from him and see how that works out and if he is willing to change for the sake of your relationship.
I hope everything works out for youu. [ orphans's advice column | Ask orphans A Question ]
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