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Q: How do i know if i am singing with my diaphram

and how do i sing with vibrato any tips?

Just so you know, I was a vocal performance major for two years. I had some technical classes, and this is what I got out of them and voice lessons:
You don't sing with your diaphragm - you actually use your lower abs if you're supporting from the right place. If you use your diaphragm, your muscles tighten in your abs, which in turn tightens muscles all the way up through your throat, which is exactly what you don't want. If you're singing with your diaphragm, you'll probably feel a pull under your ribcage and your muscles will tire quickly.
Vibrato is the result of the right amount of space and air flowing through your instrument. If you're relaxed and you have enough space, you should have vibrato. You should NEVER force vibrato to happen. It can be vocally damaging. It will happen on its own. If you're young, like 12 to maybe 16, you still have some time for your instrument to grow and your voice to change a little before your vibrato will happen all the time, naturally. In the meantime, let your voice be what it is. The best advice I can give you as far as how to sing with vibrato is to RELAX. Lol - the more tension, the harder it is for the air to spin, and the less resonance you'll have.
With technical questions like these, it's helpful to include your age and gender.
Hope this helps!
-Siren =)

Q: i dont know what to do anymore.
everyone tells me im not fat, but i feel lit
and looking at all my friends and all these rock stars, i know i am not as skinny as them and i really want to be
im thinking about anorexia? because i have tried everything else and nothing seems to work
and im sick of being uncomfortable
and not wanting to wear bikinis, or even tanktops caue i feel so embarssed.
im very self concious and i dontlike it at all
and it doesnt help that im not the prettiest person out there.
i feel so gross, and i want it to all end
and its gonna cause this is the last thing i can think of to do
gimmie your opinion..

Not to put too fine a point on it, but a) been there, done that: Doesn't work. b) Anorexia backfires like CRAZY.
When you starve yourself, you deprive your body of the nutrients it needs to survive. Not to mention, when you don't eat often enough, your metabolism slows. Your metabolism is what helps you burn the calories you DO eat. When you're NOT eating, you gain weight because your body doesn't know how to burn what you put into it, if you put anything into it. It gets used to stockpiling what nutrients it does get, gets used to NOT burning it, and it's kinda hard to retrain your body.
Now, if you already have a fast metabolism, it can work short term, but if you start eating again, you'll gain weight.
So, basically, don't starve yourself unless you want to gain weight in the long run. My friend, also a former anorexic, put it very well: "We used to ride horses at day camp, and I always felt so bad for them. When I wasn't fat, I thought I was, and now that I don't think I was, I am!"
On a more sensitive note, I know what you're going through. I'm happy with my body now, but I wasn't for a very long time. I didn't even realize what I was doing when I wasn't eating. My choir director had to pull me into his office and ask me "okay, who are you and what did you do with my soprano?" before it occurred to me that what I was doing could be classified as an eating disorder. When I tried to eat and it made me feel sick, I knew I was in trouble. I went home for a break and told my mother to make me eat something every three hours, no matter what I said (I'll explain that in a minute), and it took months to reverse the slight damage I had done. Even now I have to count my calories a little to make sure I'm getting enough.
But onto what you CAN do to help yourself. First, look at yourself in the mirror, and make a list of ten things you LOVE about yourself. (I know it sounds cheesy, but listen to me: I've been there.)
Then, go on line and do some math. Check out our BMR (not BMI. BMR is more accurate, and will give you a calorie count to go by). http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/

Q: Okay well first off 13/f

i have this problem, well had i am stopping now, but i used to "hang over a chair" if you catch my drift. And like now i have cuts or scrapes or raw spots or something around my vagina, and my clitoris...it burns when i pee too, and like it itches. There is no weird smell or discharge. But how do i stop the itching and get rid of the cuts. They have been there about a week. PLEASE HELP

The itching and burning is probably just the cuts that need to heal. All you can do is wash with warm water and give the damage time to close up. You need to not scratch it - by doing that you're stopping the cuts from healing. I hate to break it to you, but any problems down there are gonna take awhile to heal because it doesn't get much oxygen (make sure you wear comfortable underwear while it's healing, too), and it gets a lot of use.
If it becomes infected or you get a weird smell from down there, contact a doctor and see what he can do for you. In the meantime...give it time.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: I'm getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorow, and the procedure starts off with some laughing gas. And I'm absolutely terrified that I will say something really embarrassing or like pee my pants from laughing too much (which has happened before without the laughing gas.)

How exactly do you feel on laughing gas? All I know is that you feel relaxed, warm, and giggly. Anything else?

If your painkillers aren't working, have your parents call your doctor and ask for something stronger. Your doc can call in a prescription. In the meantime, try ice packs against your jaw. What's the dosage? Is it 5.5/550? You can actually take two, just make sure not to take MORE than two. If you're like me and you metabolize medicines ridiculously fast, you definitely need a stronger dose.
What they prescribed me initially didn't work either - I feel your pain. Not currently, but last summer, it hurt like...yeah, a lot. Lol.
I hope you feel better!
-Siren =)

Q: There are some girls in school that always bully me and I take and forget it like always but this time they've gone to far. They told me that if I didn't go with them to their house they'll do something really bad to my family and I beleived them so I called my mom on the phone and told her I was going to sleepover some friends house. Then I went with the girls and they had told me that if I didn't do what they say I would get beaten up. So when we got to their house There was this teenage guy on the door eyeing me everywhere and that gave me the creeps. When we got to the door he put his arm around my waist and told me we were going to have fun that night. The girls sent me to a room and demanded for me to put on the clothes on the bed. I refused (it was like a bikini thing) so one of the girl's slapped me and told me it was either that or naked. I changed and was ordered to go to a room and lay on the bed and wait. A while later the boy I had seen earlier he told me "Looking nice and that's the way I like it" I was so scared to answer so I just shut my mouth. The boy than came over and touched me everywhere and then suddenly stopped and he told me what he was doing was wrong but than again he came down on me again and kissed me and this time he got something that I think was a condum and sarted to undress himself and once again he stopped and said he shouln't be doing this but that my body urged him to and again he got on top of me and he forced something into my mouth and I dozed of. The next morning I woke up with his arm on my bra and the fingers of his other hand on my( you know). I tried to get up but found out I was tied and there was tape around my legs so I fell and my ankle twisted and I yelped and my stupid self woke the guy up. He told me that if I wanted to go I had to suck his private part but I refused so he pushed to the bed and started hitting me and when he was done he told me "that he was gonna do something weather I like it or not. He tied me good this time so that I couldn't move. He revealed my breast and poured milk on them and started sucking on them so hard it hurted me. He went licking down my body until he got to between my legs there he started licking everywhere and then put he's finger in there and pushed really hard until I let out a painful scream. He than said " u feel the pain well that's what you get". He holded my head got on top of me and put his private in my mouth and made me do it. Then he suddenly stopped and said that he'll be watching me at school and told me he knew about my grandma (she has cancer) and he could pay me $200 a week to do this just one day week. I really love my grandma so I decide to do this but I want to make sure this is the right thing to do and he also pays me $20 dollars just he can touch and feel me. He pays me $5 to kiss me and $10 to pose naked for him. $50 to shower with him. I would win good money with this but it just doesn't feel right sometimes he brings friends over, old men touch and even sleep with me and sometimes they even poor beer all over me and 3 at a time lick and suck on my skin and sometimes even bite me. it's been going on for days now and I want to stop but I care about my grandma also the girls say they'll kill me if I sop and I really beleived them because they once killed a because he was such a nerd but that was in another state. Anyways I'm really scared I don't know how to quit and worst how do I tell my family I feel like a prostitude ...just a girl who sold herself...I mean it was my fault inthe first place I should of been better getting beaten to death than to just sell my self to a boy I don't even know....I know I can trust on who ever gives me advice I had the guts to tell you this because none of you know me in person I just wish I had the guts to do what I need ti do.......I hope you can help me.....

I know you're scared. I understand it's embarrassing to talk about this stuff to people you know, but what these people did to you is illegal, and you are in way over your head. You need to get an adult involved. If these girls have threatened your life as you say they have, you need to get some adult you trust involved - write a letter to your mother if you can't talk to her, or your father. As hard as it may be to open up, your parents will be your best defense in a situation like this.
I want to warn you ahead of time, though, that your parents may react by getting angry. What you have to understand is that they are not angry at YOU. They'll be angry at the situation and these people, but it might come out initially directed at you. Just remember they love you, and they don't mean to make you feel bad, ever.
I rolled my car over in 2006, and once my mom got me home safely she YELLED at me. It took me awhile to get her to talk without yelling, but once she did she said she was just scared and glad I was okay. I know, different situation, but still. The hardest thing in the world is to lose a child or watch a child go through something painful. Everyone is different, but every parent feels that way.
Anyway. Once you've spoken to your parents about this, you will be able to stop this. You can get the police involved and stop these girls from ever doing this again to anyone else.
As far as HOW to tell your family, I suggest printing out your question, sitting your parents down, and saying "Mom, Dad, I really need to talk to you about something, and I don't think I can say it out loud, but I need your help." They will understand - I've done that with my mom. I broke a porcelain piano when I was ten, and I felt so bad, but didn't know how to tell her so I wrote her a note and left it on her jewelry box. She wrote me a note back, saying "it's okay, I love you" and put it on my jewelry box.
No matter what, remember your parents love you.
Absolutely no part of this situation is your fault. Like someone below me said, what that boy did is considered rape. He'll get in BIG trouble for doing what he did to you, and you'll be admired for coming clean with what happened. SO many rape cases go without anything being done because the women are too embarrassed to do anything about it. You are NOT the only one.
Once this is all over with - or hey, even now, I recommend finding a RAD (Rape Agression Defense) class. It's a self defense course specifically for women taught all across the nation to all age groups. It helps teach you to fight, HOW to fight, and how not to freeze up in situations, so this will never happen to you again.
This is not your fault. You were forced into doing all this. You did not willingly submit. You are not stupid, and you are incredibly brave for coming forward about this situation to us.
Now do yourself a favor and talk to your parents. They love you; they want to help you. Let them.
Good luck, I hope everything works out, and PLEASE take an active role in this. Don't just let it go.
We're always here for you if you need any of us.
-Siren =)

Q: Does anyone know any like i hate you kinda songs. doesn't have to be like screamo kinda songs..just really good songs to listen to when you absolutely hate people!?

I never answer these questions, but I have a good BAND for this one: Three Days Grace.
I love them, and they have a song titled...er, well I'm not actually sure what the title is, but the chorus is "I hate everything about you/Why do I love you?" etc.
It's great to scream to. Lol.
-Siren =)

Q: I'm sure you all must get these questions the how to loose weight. But I've always been known as the skinny girl and this past school year i gained a good 10lb and its really frustrating me and i was wondering what can i do im currently doing the no carb diet seems to be working but i want to know what kind of exersizing i can do. please help. im obsessed with my weight !

Okay, been there done that.
Do NOT do the no carb thing. Yes, those fad diets work to drop pounds fast, but you're also losing energy, not to mention the fact that those diets don't knock the weight off permanently. You NEED carbs to burn. You don't have to eat, like, a loaf of bread and eighteen different types of berries with every meal - you can cut carbs DOWN, but DO NOT cut them out.
It messes with your emotions, your sleep cycle, and you really can't do any substantial exercise without carbs. Carbs are to your body what gasoline is to a car. You need your fuel to function correctly.
If you cut carbs out long enough your body can forget how to digest/burn them at all, and if you eat them, you're gonna gain weight back.
If you want to lose the ten pounds you gained in a permanent way, put carbs back into your diet, and start a cardio routine. Eat something small every three hours - kick your metabolism up a few notches. Keep your calorie count at 1200 AT LEAST. Check your Basal Metabolic Rate on line to see how many calories you should be eating to maintain, and how much you might want to cut down to lose. Make sure you sleep enough, too.
I don't want you to think I'm attacking you or anything. I'm just recognizing some frighteningly familiar things, like a weight obsession, being known as "the skinny girl" (my friends used to throw me around (some still do)) that led me to anorexia a year ago.
Watch your obsession, try to keep yourself in check. Measure your SIZE, not your weight. You could have more muscle than you think, and your weight could come from there. (I personally weigh about ten pounds more than everyone thinks I do - I'm skinny as hell because I work out a lot, but because I work out, I have a lot of lean muscle, which weighs more than fat.)
Anyway, if you want a more specified workout plan, drop one in my inbox or contact me on AIM (SirenCytherea).
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: I drive my mom's car to school and lately, there's been a major problem...when I'm driving, and I brake to slow down or make a turn..and then i try to press on the gas---my engine will make a really loud accelerating noise and the accelerator will go up to its highest level...but MY CAR WON'T MOVE. This has happened THREE times and it would be when I was driving...it's so embaressing because I'm in the middle of a busy street with my emergency lights on! I told my mom and she thinks its MY FAULT but i can assure it I'm driving fine...can anyone tell me whats wrong? I would take it to the shop but we don't have that kind of money right now...

Are there any indicators on your dashboard?
Does the car eventually start moving when you press on the accelerator?
Is it the actual MPH gauge or is it the RPMs that shoot up? What kind of car are we talking about, anyway? Is it old?
If it's the RPMs that shoot up, it sounds like what was going on with my car. I had an external sensor problem that was a decently cheap $300 fix - now it drives like a dream.
Otherwise, and no one likes to hear this...it could be your transmission giving you problems.
My best advice to you is to find/google a transmission shop in your area that does free diagnostics and get them to run it through their computer. They'll tell you if it's a transmission problem or not, and chances are if it's not, they can at least tell you what they think is wrong with it. Then you can take it to a garage, tell them what you think the problem is, and they can fix it.
You might just need new transmission fluid. Have you had it checked recently? If your mom has the owner's manual you can find the transmission dipstick and check the level and color yourself. (It should be pink or red, and within the "normal" area of your dipstick.)
Anyway, don't let anyone try to sell you a new transmission without getting a second opinion...or a third.
I don't usually answer car questions, but I've had so much work done on mine that I sort of know what I'm talking about! Good luck, lol.
-Siren =)

Q: So sophomore year, i started takin anti-depressants and it made me gain a little weight. I had always been super-skinny so it freaked me out (freshman year i was 103 or so) and so when the scale said 121 i felt like a fatass and began to eat less calories, excercize more, ect ect. I only lost about 12 pounds so it wasn't anything serious and didn't last too long. Earlier this year, in late February/early march, I went on a crash diet and lost 5 pounds in a little over a week.

When I get like that, it never lasts too long and I it's never a full-on eating disorder... but lately i've been very unhappy and extremely stressed. I beat myself up about how ugly and fat I am and how I have no friends.

a few weeks agoI started just trying to work out and eat better foods but eventally i spiraled out of control and ive lost 21 pounds so far. I am 116 pounds and intend to keep going untill I am 100.... my next goal weight is 107. THe fact that I have a goal weight scares me... also the fact that I read online that most anorexics are the "good" child. the "perfect" one... and thats how i've been raised. My older brother was the screw up and I got straight a's. I'm moving away to college in the fall and he, at 21, is still at home.

I'm convinced that I have a handle on this, because its something i've been through before. However, ive never lost this much weight. And i've never had to be this sneaky about it. I lie daily about what ive eaten and what I do ("oh we went out to dinner" when i really just went on a walk with a friend).

My best friend, Brantley, struggled with this when he was in 8th grade. He had it bad, and at 6'0 he weighed around 120 or 125 he said. ANd yesterday he told me that he's showing signs of it again but he doesnt' really think he has a problem.

I don't want to get help. I don't want to talk to my parents or another therapist (btw, the therapist and phsychiatrist i saw in 10th grade only knew aout the depression and NOT my eating issues) i just want to get through this on my own, but without having to gain weight =/ I think when i'm 100 or 105 i'll slowly star eating normally and will try to maintain arond 110 eventually....

Okay, what most people don't realize is that eating disorders are PSYCHOLOGICAL. Not necessarily physical. Actual weight has nothing to do with it. You can be 300 pounds and anorexic - it's a mindset, not a physical condition.
I was anorexic in the past, but I never lost any weight. Food was my enemy, I lied about what I ate, I hated my body, and I thought I was fat. I was heavier than I was used to, but I was not "fat," per se. But when I looked in the mirror, I saw about an added twenty pounds, when really, I wasn't so bad off.
I got to the point that I realized I needed to turn my life around, but my body was so used to being starved that when I tried to eat I felt sick.
If you're not there yet, turn this around NOW, because let me tell you, it takes tremendous willpower to force yourself to eat when you're torn between thinking that food is the enemy and realizing that if you don't start eating you'll die, even though it makes you sick.
If you don't want to wind up telling your parents, what you need to do to help yourself is learn about nutrition.
Depriving your body of its fuel (food) is NOT a way to lose weight. I mean sure, if you wanna feel skinnier for prom don't stuff yourself, but if you DO lose weight this way, you can't keep doing it. Eventually you will have to eat or die, and if you can get yourself to eat, you'll probably gain weight because your metabolism will have slowed down in order to keep you alive; it will have gone into starvation mode. If you're looking to damage your body, by all means continue doing what you're doing. If you're looking for a permanent physical change, educate yourself.
I lost twenty pounds in a healthy and permanent way. Here's what you should do:
Look up your BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate, NOT YOUR BMI) on line. Then once you find out what you need calorie-wise to maintain (this includes working out if you do), take a few hundred calories out of your diet in the form of junk food, sodas, etc. (Don't eat/drink them is what I mean). DO NOT drop your calorie count below 1200.
Once you know your BMR, take one day eating as you normally do (or don't, depending on how far into anorexia you are), and see how many calories you actually consume in a day. I can almost guarantee if you're anything like me, it's a lot less than you think it is.
A good trick to lose weight is to eat every three hours. It kicks your metabolism up a few notches (trust me, now I HAVE to eat every three hours. I also work out 6 or 7 days a week though, so my BMR for maintaining is like, 2400).
If you want a nice lean, thin body, you need to work out. If you work out, no matter if you do cardio or weight training, you will gain lean muscle - but the more muscle you have, the easier it is to burn fat. So you'll be thinner, but you might not be a hundred pounds.
I hate to say this because I hated to hear it, but weight is really just a number. Example: my measurements are 34 25 or 26 (not sure) 34. I'm 5'4". I weigh 120. I'm constantly mistaken for weighing about 110.
Also, make no mistake, it's really hard for girls to gain bulky muscle like guys - so don't be afraid of the gym.
Anyway, this is already pretty long, so if you want help with a workout plan, or just someone to talk to, I've been there. My screen name is SirenCytherea on AIM; feel free to IM me anytime.
Otherwise, good luck.
-Siren =)

Q: Someone told me that if your hymen is popped that you have to wait like 18 months in order to have a baby. And well i'm planning for a baby this summer. Will my hymen being popped make me have to wait?

To my knowledge, your hymen being broken has absolutely nothing to do with conception time. You might not get pregnant right when you want to, though, which might be where your friend got the idea that immediate hymen breaking means you have to wait. I honestly haven't done that much research as far as GETTING pregnant goes - I've done enough to know the symptoms so I can make sure I'm not, lol, but that's about it.
You DO have to have your hymen broken in order to become pregnant and have a child in the first place, but it shouldn't force you to wait any longer than you would have had your hymen been broken years ago.
I don't want to make any assumptions, since you didn't give me your age, but I really, really hope you're prepared to have a baby, and I suggest you do all the research you can possibly do before you dive into this. That said, I wish you he best of luck and happiness in your future motherhood!
-Siren =)

Q: This is going to sound gross, but I really need some help, because I have a singing test coming up. Ya'll know when you have that mucus stuff in your throat? Well, I know you're supposed to cough it up, but I'm not sure how. Like, if i clear my troat, it comes into the very back of my mouth at most, and I think it'd be too gross to spit that.
It's been like this for a whileee now, and I'd really appreciate any help with this!

Go to your local drug store and pick up an expectorant. Robitussin, or any cough syrups that have that in them - it says on the box, usually. They'll help you cough up the mucus.
As for the singing test, swallow hard, try not to clear your throat - it produces more mucus.
Also, lemon usually helps cut phlegm. There's a possibility the citric acid will make it worse, but it's more likely to help.
Room temperature water, not cold, not hot. Tea and lemon and honey, too. Or tea and honey, or tea and lemon. Any combination of those.
Lots of liquids, and rest.
Good luck
-Siren =)

Q: I'm in choir and we have this concert this Saturday, and I also have a solo in it. My voie has been cracking a lot lately while I've been singing...I'm not sick.
Is there anything I can do to stop that/fix it.
I would be horrified if that happened during the concert.

Make sure you're relaxed when you sing, and WARM UP YOUR VOICE.
Drink lots of room temperature water, or warm (not hot) tea.
Lay off caffeine, it'll make your muscles tense and you might be nervous anyway.
You can stick a lemon slice into your water for the concert - the citric acid helps cut down some of the phlegm you might be struggling with, unless it makes it worse. Experiment beforehand, it made my phlegm worse.
No dairy products. No ice cold water.
Do not push your voice, and don't sing too much before the concert.
Also, it's important to sleep enough. Singing on not enough sleep is like going to the gym on not enough sleep. It backfires BIGTIME. Treat your voice well and it'll treat you well.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: I've got a minor cold, and I need help or advice to 'cure it overnight'. Or just, make it better overnight.

Any ideas anyone *sniff*

Aww, poor you! =(
Push fluids, take cold meds, eat cough drops, drink tea with honey, SLEEP (very important). Relax (That one's hard for a lot of people, but don't do anything strenuous. If you can just stay in bed, do it.)
If you're having throat issues, buy a throat numbing spray. Buy saline nasal sprays to clear out those passages that are clogged up. Don't sniffle, BLOW!
But over all that, seriously, Mind Over Matter. Convince yourself that you'll wake up feeling fine. I've done it several times, and it has worked. I haven't been sick since early last Summer, and that was tonsillitis. I've been surrounded by sick people, too. Either I have a ridiculously strong immune system, or ridiculously strong willpower. 'Cause I'm totally convinced that the mind over matter thing works.
Try it. We all need to learn to exercise our brains more. What's the worst that can happen, your cold won't get better? (Practice. Lol)
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: 14, f. What is the difference beetween Head and Chest voice? I heard that people typically in choruses have head voices and people in theatre and drama typically have chest voices. I heard that chest voice wasn't as good for your diaphram as head voice. Is this true? Which voice sounds better, and which kind of voice do singers on t.v typically have? Are there any other kind of voices? If so, which one is the healthiest for your voice? I'm trying to sound better-I made the highest singing chorus in my highschool, and I'm a soprano, prefferably soprano 2, because I have trouble with high notes sometimes, and I healthfully would like to hit them better, and improve my voice from home, without taking lessons since I have no time. Thank you so much.

Just to let you know, I started college as a vocal performance major, I've won competitions, and I've had technical background training. Now you know I know what I'm talking about for the most part. =)
Anyway, you need someone with training to help you hit the high notes without straining. You can't hear your own voice, even if you have prior training; it resonates in your bones and alters the sound you hear. (So what YOU hear is not the same as what everyone else does.) Even I strain sometimes, but I've had training AND I teach - I'm used to seeing my students do it and catching their mistakes, so it's easier to catch my own.
If you have trouble with high notes, stick to 2nd soprano or 1st alto until you start taking lessons. There are ways to expand your range, but you should NEVER push your voice past what you're comfortable doing.
Head voice/mid voice/chest voice are really locations, not types of "voices." Your head voice is comprised of the higher notes that resonate further up in your head (you can feel these resonating in your face, or sometimes the top of your head if you're doing them right and they're really high). Mid voice is comprised of middle-range notes that resonate in lower parts of your head or throat. Chest voice resonates in your chest.
Belting and chest voice are NOT the same thing. Belting is essentially yelling on pitch, which is REALLY bad for your voice. Chest voice is good, and usually strong, it makes your low notes loud, but not yelled.
As for other kinds of "voices," there's men's falsetto (their really high notes), and some women have "whistle tone" which is kind of like men's falsetto, but not exactly...I can't explain that one too well, I have it, but not everyone does. It feels like an extra part of your range.
Singers on TV? Do you mean like in rock videos? If so, most of them mix or belt - mixing is a combination of belting and (usually) mid-voice or chest voice.
Your diaphragm has nothing to do with your voice. Your lower abs actually do more (with good technique) than anything. Your throat has NO place in singing. I used to go home from voice lessons feeling like I'd just spent an hour straight doing crunches at the gym.
As far as what sounds better, you need to refine your WHOLE voice, not just your head or chest voice. Also, you can be a soprano and have a strong low range. You can be an alto and have a strong high range.
But you really, REALLY need lessons if you want to refine your voice. If you try to do it on your own, chances are you'll injure yourself. Talk to your school's choir director about lessons.
If you don't have time for lessons now, relax - maybe voice isn't something you need to worry about right now. Summer's coming up; you can always look into lessons then.
If you have any more questions, feel free to drop one in my inbox.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: did you ever use the FAFSA? the gov is able to give me some money but is that the same thing as a student loan? im really confused if i have to pay it back and what the interest rates are.. eek! $22 im eligible for

thanks again =)

No, sadly we have just enough money not to be able to get FAFSA, but not enough to pay for college comfortably. Lol - I suggest you pose this question to the pool of advicenators. At least one person, I'm sure, can answer your question. Sorry!
-Siren =)

Q: hi! thanks for helping me w/ the difference between high school and college question. i hope its okay if i ask some more?

in college, do you have a lot of free time? what do people do during that?

is it easy to make friends? everyone has diff schedules. how about meeting people in general, like diff majors?

what are the differences academic-wise like how many classes do you take per week?

do you pay for every class you take? can you take classes outside your major for fun on a pass/fail basis? that prob depends on the college hmm.

i think the college i'm going to is going to be boring. i am taking up a science-y major that is practical. i am not good at science or math but i think i should just go ahead and do it for the money. unfortunately. i like fashion and english (your major! whoo!) but i am not good at them so there is no point. i think a safe path is a good path, however hard. i kind of went off topic, but yeah the college i'm going to only has science majors.. nothing cool so i don't think they offer any like cooking classes or anything. they don't have much clubs/activities! theres a prestigious ivy league school nearby. do you think i could join their clubs? or do i have to attend that school to go? could i sit in on their classes too? prob not lol..

also, what's the format of college? all classes are semester? not entire year? and per semester do you have to write a lot of papers (long?), not much homework but some quizzes, midterm, and exam? thats insane. how hard are the tests? does high school prepare you for all that? are they really really hard? :(((

thanks so much!

Ask whatever you want. There's nothing I won't answer. =)
As far as free time, it depends on how many classes you take and what kind of classes you're taking. When I was a music major, I was VERY busy, taking 7 or 8 one or two-credit classes at a time, but I was happy because I was good at it - it was therefore easy for me. As an English major, I'm taking fewer classes, since they're all worth 4 credits. Anyway, during free time people socialize, work, go out, y'know. Same basic thing as high school, but more freedom.
I found it easy to make friends, it depends on your schedule and who you click with, who you see all the time, etc. You take a bunch of gen-ed classes, so you'll meet people from other majors there.
A full credit load is 12 credits, which for most majors amounts to three classes. So you go to maybe one class three times a week and two twice a week. I dunno. It depends.
Yes, you pay for every class you take. Unless you have a scholarship.
Okay, if you're not good at science or math, DO NOT MAJOR IN THEM. You will suffer and your GPA will suck. Science majors are very involved. My friend's a bio major and he's constantly studying. He had to take classes like biochem and organic chemistry, which are both difficult classes.
I think you have to be part of the school to be part of the clubs, but I've never tried it.
Classes are semester-long, yes.
The tests depend on the school, but my high school taught me basically nothing. On the other hand, I've been majoring in things I'm good at and enjoy, so I've found the tests really easy.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: difference between college and high school?

I don't know if it's just me, but I've found college a LOT easier than high school. Most of college you're taking classes that pertain to what you're good at - they SHOULD be easy. Or at least, they should be interesting and therefore easier than trying to make yourself care about a boring class you can't stand.
No lockers, dorm rooms (if you're staying on campus), usually some sort of gym attached or something.
flexible class hours - like you don't HAVE to take 8am classes if you don't want to.
More reckless behavior for some people...
College involves growing up and more responsibility. I've become a lot more organized and better at, like, life since I got to college.
In short, college is much, MUCH better in, like, every way.
Good luck!
-Siren =)

Q: i'm the one who posted the question about loosing weight. you said you could do that BMR thing for me? i weigh about 145. if you don't have time to do it...can you tell me how i can do it?

thank you for your advice also :)

No problem, sweetie. I'm here to help.

http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/
^ That's the site I use. Plug in your height/weight/age and it'll give you a number at the top. I don't know why, but it tends to suggest the South Beach Diet. Ignore that. South Beach is BAAAAAAD. Once you have that number (the number of calories you burn laying in bed, pull out a calculator. Click on where it says daily calorie needs and it'll give you a couple of options.
For example, I'm 5'4" and I weigh about 125. I'm 20. My Basal Metabolic Rate is about 1383. (That's without taking my active lifestyle into account). I do really hard workouts, so I multiply my BMR by 1.725 and it comes out to about 2400. Take 500 away from that for weight loss and it's about 1900. That's the number of calories I should get per day to lose weight.
It's kinda fun to play around with it, give it a shot. If you really want, leave your height in comments and I'll do it for you, but you should see this stuff yourself, too.
-Siren =)

Q: a friend of mine has an eating disorder. its not anorexia or bulimia or anything like that. she eats, but very little. and when she gets stressed out it makes her stomach hurt. and then she makes herself throw up. i have yelled at her about it and stuff because shes lost over 20 pounds since christmas and its totally unhealthy. she claimes she is just fine, but i know thats total bullshit. i really respect our friendship, and i dont want to ruin it by telling someone who could help her. i know it could help her and would really pay off, but i've been in her position. not with eating, but i was cutting and told my so-called friend, and she told her parents and her parents called me parents and it was a mess. and i hated her for it. but i dont want my friend to keep up this bad habbit! shes not ok! its out of control! and she wont listen to me! but if i tell someone, i might lose her! what do i do?

If you've already spoken with her and she thinks she's fine, then she might not realize she has a problem.
Anorexics eat, too, but very little. Your best bet is to talk to someone (an adult) you know could get through to her. Her parents, a teacher she really likes, SOMEONE whose opinion will matter to her - not that yours doesn't, but your comments alone might not be strong enough to alert her to the problem at hand.
As I mentioned in a later question, I've been there. I was anorexic and it took my crush and my choir director to make me realize that something was seriously wrong. Then it took a LOT of willpower to fix it.
You may be concerned about her being mad at you, and she may be angry with you for telling someone her secret, but she needs to be jolted out of this. She could permanently damage her body, end up hospitalized, or dead, if this progresses any further. If I were in your shoes, I'd bear with her anger and hope that she realizes eventually that you were just trying to help her.
I would aim for a teacher she likes, rather than her parents. Or another adult she respects. You can ask them not to speak to her parents, but I don't guarantee that they'd agree to that.
You NEED to tell someone, though, especially if she's not listening to you.
Drop one in my inbox if you need more help.
Good luck.
_Siren =)

Q: My sister has really strange eating habits, but it doesn't sound like an eating disorder that I have heard of. She eats less than 100 calories for breakfast. At school she eats grapes for lunch and throws away her sandwich. She tries not to let anyone see her do it, but I have seen her do it all week. At supper, she eats normally because my parents saw that she wasn't eating as much and she doesn't want them to know.

One day at lunch I saw her eating half of her sandwich. But when we got home, I heard her trying to make herself throw up in the bathroom. She didn't succeed, but maybe that's because she is afraid of throwing up.

Maybe I am making too much of things, but what does this sound like to you? Any help is appreciated. :)

Some anorexics purge if they're forced to eat. Since you say you've heard of eating disorders, I assume you know anorexia is the starving-yourself thing and bulimia is usually the binge-eating-then-puking thing.
I've been in her situation, minus the puking. I didn't realize how much trouble I was in until my choir director pulled me aside and asked me who I was and what I had done with the real me. Then I tried to eat and it made me feel sick.
Talk to your sister. How much do you know about anorexia? If not much, explain to her the dangers of it. She needs to know that if she continues this it's going to have the opposite effect on her body. Either she's trying to lose weight and going about it exactly the wrong way, or she has control issues.
If it's a weight loss thing, then explain to her the effects of starving her body and get her feeling like she HAS to fix this right now. If it's a control thing, then your parents need to be involved.
Either way, approach her NOW and find out what's going on with her. First talk to her yourself. If she doesn't respond or pretends not to know what you're talking about, talk to your parents. I wouldn't go to them first, though they may be concerned, because she'll feel betrayed, and you want her to feel that you're on her side. See if you can help her. Jolt her out of whatever is going through her head with cold, hard facts.
You're welcome to IM me at SirenCytherea or drop a question in my inbox if you want help figuring out what to say to her, or help with anything else.
Good luck.
-Siren =)

bio

I'm a laid-back 26 year old with a Psychology BA, starting my MA program, and working my way into the field as quickly as I can. It took me an extra Bachelor's degree (in vocal performance and creative writing) to figure it out, but I was put on this Earth to help, to heal, and to love.

I have made the decision to dedicate my life and career to helping others. I am here to do just that.

I've been a member since 2004, and since I signed up, I've gone through quite a lot and learned quite a lot from it. I'm here to give guidance where I had none; no one should have to go through the difficulties I went through alone.

Feel free to visit my website/blog, if you want to read my experience with domestic violence and my thoughts on it.

***While I do tend to answer mental health and other health-related or medicine-related questions, I am by NO MEANS a licensed physician or practitioner of any sort. Any and all advice I give for these questions is from my own experience or studies.***

If you need to get a hold of me quickly, my screen name on AIM is SirenCytherea. Just let me know you found me here.

I'm a strong believer in the idea that there are no stupid questions except the ones left unasked, so, please, keep an open mind, heart, and mouth.

Siren