about

Hey everyone! My name is Kristen, I'm 20 and I'm a college junior studying pharmacy. I've been blessed with a really good life, and part of the reason for that is because I've learned to see GOOD in everything that happens to me.

I love giving advice, and I've been told that I do a good job at it, but I'll let you decide! Feel free to ask me anything... don't be shy, that's why I'm here. I've been through a lot... moving from one country to another, leaving and finding new friends, break ups, boys, middle school, high school, college, self esteem issues... pretty much most things that people need help with.

I usually spend a good amount of time answering your questions, so I would really appreciate it if you leave me an honest rating along with some feedback (good or bad!) It really does help me improve my advice... and in the end, that's good for YOU! Talk to ya soon! :)

advice

A little background information. My mother is on the pill(not for birthcontrol tho, other reasons), antidrpessent, leukemia medcine & alot of others.
Lately she yells literally EVERY day. Usually before i'm out of bed, shes yelling. I serioulsy can't take it. She FLIPS out over the smallest things. Like right now shes cleaning & she misplaced the MR. Clean & she was flipping out. IT only adds stress & tension to the house. I seriously can't take it. I've had a headache for over 3 months now. I beleive she is one of the main problems. I'm asking, what should i do to make her calmer & less stressful to others. & i CAN'T confront her.


ps another big problem is $12,000 in debt.

hey! well she probably yells a lot because she is stressed out. i know that when my parents are in a situation like that, they yell at me and my sisters even though we didn't do anything bad... but they need to let their anger out somewhere. what you could do is show her that you care about her situation and want to help. have a talk with her casucally, over dinner or something. ask her how things are going, if problems are getting solved... stuff like that. basically, show her that you are interested in her well being. ask her if there are any ways you can help. once she realizes that you want the best for her, and someone is willing to help her, it should lower her stress level a bit.

also, help her out around the house. if she is cleaning, ask her what you can do to help. if you help her out, she will appreciate having you around and she will think twice about yelling at you in the future. plus, she will be less tired and stressed out, and hopefully won't have as much to yell about. it's not really a problem that can be solved over night, but if you keep this up over a few weeks, you should deffinitely see a difference! i hope this helped a little! :)

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My boyfriend is naturally really skinny and with that he's worked for a nice body. As to that I feel somewhat intimidated. ok alot. I want to get a flat tummy I'm not ask for no 6 pack or anything just a nice firm tight stomach.

Can andybody give me a list and how much of what I should and the names of the excercises. Like a shedule.

Rate a 5

hey! ok first of all, unfortunately spot training doesn't work, so you can't exactly just do stomach exercises and expect great results. for example, if you just do crunches, they will build your stomach muscles, but it might not be noticeable if you have a layer of fat over them. what you need to do is eat healthier, and do muscle building exercises along with cardio. go out for a jog every day, and then do crunches later on in the day. sit ups don't work as well, so don't bother with those. do as many as you can... maybe 10 sets of 10, and slowly work your way up as you get more used to exercising.

lastly, you will need to change your diet a bit. drink a LOT of water throughout the day... apparently water makes your stomach flatter, so carry a bottle everywhere you go and drink as much as you can! also, cut down on foods high in sugar and fat. instead of brownies and cake for dessert, have fruit and yogurt! eat a lot of veggies and lean meats... grilled chicken breast for example. tuna is also good in helping you build muscles. it's a lot better than fried chicken or a burger!

you don't have to alter everything drastically, but little changes in the way you eat, the amount of water you drink, and how much you exercise will make a BIG difference. but remember that your bf is with you because he likes you the way you are. don't feel bad about it, because if he doesn't have a problem with your body, why should you? :)

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Hi, I'm from Italy. I met my girlfriend about 7 months ago and I love her very much.She is a very friendly girl and got lots of friends. she is still in contact with some of her exs and that drives me mad.she says they are still friends and if the relationship didnt work well between them does not mean they are bad people and thats why she still is in contact with them, she is also telling me she needs to see them sometimes as the are friends and she miss them but I really don't like it.I don't know how to react and what to tell her or ..maybe I'm wrong.please give me some advice.thanks

hey! i don't think you should worry about it, i mean they are her exes for a reason, right? she is no longer with them because a romantic relationship between them didn't work out, so why would she be sneaking around with them now behind your back and cheating on you? plus, she is telling you that she hangs out with them, so she believes that you trust her and she has no need to do anything behind our back.

if it really bothers you, ask her to go out with her one day when she will be meeting up with them. or at least tell her that you would be more comfortable if there was a couple of people with her when she hangs out with them. reassure her that you trust her completely and know she wouldn't do anything behind your back, but that you don't feel comfortable with the situation. how would she feel if you went out with your exes... alone? she should understand!! :) good luck!

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i really need to get tan in like a month and i cant go in a tanning bed is there any other way to get really tan in like a month? thanks!

hey!! ok a month is a long time so you deffinitely don't need to rush or anything. the best looking, longest lasting and most inexpensive tan is the one you will get by going outside. lay out in your bathing suit, go out for a run, play outside, do homework outside... stuff like that. of course there are consequences to this... like increasing your chances of cancer, wrinkley skin and tough, leather like skin. deffinitely do NOT over do it. a few weeks ago i started going to a tanning salon, and i was in such a rush to get a tan quick that i ended up going every day and burned by skin! it hurt soo bad, i couldn't even sleep and it got really red and started peeling in some places. gross.

you can also use sunless tanners. what i do is use loreal sublime bronze to make my skin look tanner, after i already have some natural color from the sun. my legs take a while to tan, so i mostly put it on there. just don't over do it. a LITTLE goes a long way... if you put a lot on, it will look orange, streaky and fake. plus it won't dry well and rub off on everything. so just put a little bit on and let it dry... it looks great!

lastly, if you're not going to wear sunscreen outside, deffinitely put it on your face!! that is the place which is most likely to get skin cancer... not to mention it is very sensitive, and you don't want to end up with wrinkles all over your face at the age of 25. just buy a powder bronzer and put that on your face to even it out with the rest of your dark skin!! :)

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I'm worried that my daughter, who's just turned 16, is talking to strangers online. Against my better judgement, I accessed her computer while she was at school. I didn't find much other than a short instant message from a male with whom she was just speaking to like she would a close friend but some of the things he said were fishy and he had asked her a lot of strange, personal questions in the conversation (like who she lived with, what her friends' names were, what the name of her school was, etc).

What are signs that I can look for that my daughter is in trouble? If I continue to access her computer and find more instant messages, what can I look for to determine for sure that this person means my daughter harm?

Thank you.

hey! well not sure if this will answer your question, but i would sit down and have a talk with her. don't tell her that you went on the computer and saw her stuff, because that will just make her mad and she will refuse to listen to you. just casually bring up over dinner or shopping that you saw something on TV about all these kids that have been hurt because they talked to strangers online. just talk to her about it, as if she's an adult and you're having a discussion with her about the issue. don't accuse her, ask for her opinions... that kind of thing. she will deffinitely listen, and she will be happy that you are treating her like an adult! you can maybe even say something like "im glad i don't have to worry about you because i know you wouldn't talk to people you don't know." it will deffinitely work, because when my 14 year old sister got a myspace i freaked out about it (being the older overprotective sister) and i had a talk with her about how dangerous it is. less than a month later, she shut her account down on her own! :) good luck and don't worry too much!!

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Well, I'm thirteen and I'm starting to use tampons (or at least trying to start). When I try to insert the tampon, it stings a little because it is dry and solid. I know what to do and how to do it but I was wondering if I will get some sort of infection if I use vasaline to make it go in easier. I mean, if I put a little by my area and a little on the tampon. I won't glob it on, but just enough to make it smoother. Before I experiment with this, I want to know if it is a mistake or if it can harm me. I WILL RATE! PROMISE!

vasaline... no! try k y jelly if you want, because it is a lubricant and should do no harm in there! but, question... why isn't the tampon going in because it is "dry?" are you not on your period? if not, i would deffinitely wait until it comes around because the tampon will go in about 1000 times easier!! not to mention you should NOT be wearing tampons if you're not on your period, and always get the lowest absorbency possible that still works for you to lower the risk of TSS. also, if you're using tampons with cardboard applicators, try playtex slimfits or tampax pearl instead! the plastic applicators with the rounded tip are soo much more comfortable to insert! :) good luck!

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Is there a different between Forever 21 and Gadzooks?

I was looking for the Gadzooks website and the only thing I found was Forever 21. Are they the same company? Do they sell the same clothes?

hey! well it's a bit confusing, but basically what happened was, forever 21 and gadzooks were two completely different stores. then forever 21 bought gadzooks about a year ago. they shut some of them down, and the ones that they didn't shut down now sell clothing "designed by forever 21." there was some talk about changing the name to gadzooks 21 but i don't know if that will happen. so basically, they now sell different clothing at the 2 stores, but gadzook's are also designed by the designers who design for forever 21! :)

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I'm going to my best friends bat mitzpa. I'm wearing a black dress with a black purse, black open toed shoes, and possibly a little black makeup. Should I wear black stockings? I'm African-American and 5'5. If this helps at all, I have a scar pale scar on my foot, nice toenails, and im not dark at all- im a little darker than chocolate milk but lighter than milk chocolate.

hey!! well that outfit sounds cute, and i would say deffinitely go without the stalkings!! that would be way too much of one solid color... plus you would be covering up almost your entire body, and it's almost summer so why not let a little skin show?!! just paint your toe nails a cute color and let them show... maybe red? you could also paint your finger nails to match! not to mention it will probably be hot...leave the stalkings out!! :) have fun!

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I was just wondering what most people thought.


Would you rather regret something you said or regret not saying anything at all? And why? Your opinion means nothing if you don't explain.

hmm good question...

after thinking about it for a little bit, i would regred not saying anything at all. why?

well, if i say something and then later regret it, it's only because of the reaction i got. for example, if i want to tell a friend that something she is doing is bothering me, the only reason i might regret it later is if she gets really mad at me and decides to never talk to me again. but even though i might regret saying something, at least i got an outcome... i moved in a certain direction.

on the other hand, if that same friend is bothering me and i choose not to say anything, i would regret it because i would always ask myself "i wonder what would have happened if i told her?" in this case, i said nothing, and the problem did not get resolved. basically, i stayed in the same position and moved in no direction... there was no outcome.

so by saying something, you are moving in a direction... maybe a good one or a bad one, but at least your moving and that's what life is all about. on the other hand, by not voicing your opinion, you are standing in once place. but you have to take chances to get anything in life, so voicing your opinion is important, even if you later regret it. hope that made sense! :)

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Okay, I'll try to make this short.
My best friend introduced me to this boy, and we all decided we want to be best friends. Well, him and her got super close (they go to catholic school together; i go to public school) and he and I aren't so close. She and I are because we live very close. We've hung out quite a but, and my best friend told me she likes him. Well, of course, after liking her brother for over a year, I decide to like newboy. My friend understood, and was happy that I didn't like her brother anymore. She and I even kind of came to the conclusion that we're taking the "May the best whore win" route of who gets him (if he even likes one of us) But the problem is: I really am getting fond of this boy. We have lots in common and he's everything I could ask for. And we're kind of throwing hints at each other that we like each other (well, that's what it seems like to me). I don't know what to do! I don't want to loose my best friend, but I really like this boy!

honestly, this is a tough situation. even though there are millions of guys out there, sometimes it feels like there isn't anyone right for you, so when you find one you like it's hard not to go for it.

but this is your best friend you are talking about. basically you are choosing between her or this boy. yeah there are plenty of boys out there, but are there plenty of best friends like the one that you have now? is she easily replaced? if the answer is no, then i think you should both reconsider. tell her that you shouldn't risk your friendship over this, and that you should both move on and forget abotu this boy for now.

how would you feel if she "won him over" and they started dating? that's exactly how she would feel if you get with him. talk to her and tell her you feel a connection with him that you don't feel for every guy. if she understands and is willing to back off, then go for it. if not, i would either forget about this boy or leave it alone for now but go back to him once she decides she has stopped liking him.

ultimately, it is up to you, but there is a risk involved, and you have to decide what is more important... your friend, or the boy? good luck! :)

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Ok, so I need to decide where I want to study abroad ASAP. Here's my choices:

Australia
New Zealand
Italy

All 3 awesome places...
Anyone been to any of these places?
Any opinions or suggestions?
OMG I cant wait! :)

I vote Australia... it sounds like a sweet place, and I once met a really nice guy at the Freaky Tiki from there who had the best accent ever! lol

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How do you know when your boobs have stopped growing?

Im 16 and my boobs seem to have been this size forever!!! Im a B.
Its annoying because everyone around me has huge boobs and im the only person with tiny ones.

If they have stopped growing can I take a pill to make them bigger??
Please help I rate high!

xoxo

hey! your boobs will reach their final size and fullness at around the age of 20, so you still have time! you may or may not grow any more, but who cares anyway? i think you have the perfect size boobs... not too big, not too small. they're small enough that you can wear whatever you want without having to worry about not having enough support... not to mention, you don't have to deal with all the back pain people with big boobs have to put up with! there is no magic pill... they are all fake scams, and those that claim they can help your boobs grow deliver temporary results that only last while you take the pills. basically they cause swelling and make your boobs look bigger... not something you want to deal with!! and if you're worried about what guys think, if you ask around most of them will tell you that they don't like them too big!! haha so be happy with what you have... you have a really good size!! :)

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i really like my boyfriend but he like touches other girls boobs and stuff...but like as a joke and idk what to do ive talk to hiim but i dont think hes gonna stop bc thats the way he is

help pleaese

omg! that's completely wrong and disrespectful, not only to you but to all the girls he does this to! i would sit down and think twice about this. do you really want to waste your time with someone who isn't treating you right? i can see that you are bothered by this because you are seeking advice about it, so you are not happy! try and talk to him again... tell him it's wrong, disrespectful and immature and you don't want to put up with it. how would he feel if you ran around touching other guys (haha)? it's ultimately up to you, but if talking to him doesn't help and he continues to keep this up, then he obviously doesn't care much about the way you feel, and you need to dump him and find a guy who will only keep his hands on you!! :)

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The other day I answered someone's question. And in that question I stated that ovulation can also occur after a person's period. ( 6-14 days) which I googled and found out I was right. Another person wrote my advice column to dispute this fact, but turns out she didnt dispute it al all: here is that she said word for word: Oh, and no you are not fertile AFTER your period you fucking idiot. You are not fertile UNTIL 14 DAYS AFTER YOUR PERIOD. Get your facts right. Now does everyone see that she said your NOT fertile AFTER your period, its 14 days AFTER your period! Duh thats what I said! Why do people resort to name calling when trying to dispute something? or is it just this person doesnt posess any class? 5's for all thoughts.. except for her's.

hey! yeah i know what you're talking about... just seriously don't even worry about it and don't let it bother you. yeah it's annoying and rude and completely uncalled for, but some people just don't understand. even though you were right, that person was under the impression that you were wrong... maybe they read into what you wrote in a different way than you intended or something! so basically once they thought that you were wrong and they had the right answer, they felt better than you... and once they felt better than you, they figured they have the right to treat you like crap and call you by degrading names. it's all psychological and they were just trying to talk themselves into thinking that they are smarter, better, etc. not much you can do about it other than ignore it... as long as you know the truth, that's all that matters! :)

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I think that I need a psychiatrist. I know that I do, I feel very depressed and I cut myself. My mom sees a psychiatrist. I'm just afraid of asking my mom and dad (they are divorced, so I can't sit them down together) if I can go to a therapist. I was wondering of anyone knew any ways of bringing it up or any suggestions of how to talk about it. I'm uncomfortable bringing it up and I really don't want my parents to know how depressed and frightend I feel. If you have any ideas I would really appreciate it.

hey!! well, the first thing to solving a problem is realizing that it's there, so i'm glad you have and you are ready to get help! i think you have it easier than most other people in your situation, because your mom will be able to relate to you. sit down with her and ask her about her past... when did she realize that she needed help? how did she go about getting the help? does she think the psychiatrist made a difference? things like that. once you get her to open up about those things, tell her that you might have the same problem and you would like her to be there with you and tackle it. maybe go with her to her next meeting with the psychiatrist? you guys will be able to figure it out once you talk to her, but deffinitely do it right away! like i said, just get her to tell her side of the story, and then explain to her that you are going through the same thing! she will relate to you and make your life soo much easier! :) good luck!

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Ok I am trying to eat healthier (cutting down on sweets...nothing extreme) but my family always has candy in the house, where it is hard not to grab some as you walk by the cabinet. Also, my parents love to treat us to ice cream, and bring home ymmuy baked goods, and i just have a hard time declining them. How can I gain more self control over eating sweets?

hey! well you obviously don't want to deprive your entire family of eating sweets just because you don't want to eat them. regardless, just tell them the plan. explain to them that you don't want to eat junk food anymore, and ask if maybe they can cut down a little bit on how much they buy.

in addition, ask them to pick up a few healthy snacks for you... let's face it, it's almost impossible to cut down on sweets COMPLETELY if you are really used to eating them. by healthy i mean something like whole grain granola bars, yogurt, raisins, low fat ice cream and sherbert, lots of fruit... things like that! my family barely eats junk food because my mom always has fresh fruit washed and ready to eat in a bowl in the living room. try doing that, it deffinitely helps!

now, the junk food they buy that you want to avoid... have all that put in a separate cabinet, away from the stuff you want to eat. that way you will never have to open it or see what is in it and you won't be tempted to have any of it!

and if you are not eating sweets, then i suggest eliminating soda and drinking water and juices instead! that stuff has insane amounts of sugar in it and it's so unhealthy! but you don't have to cut sweets and junk food totally out of your life... there is nothing wrong with treating yourself once or twice a week! :)

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15/f. there's a boy (same age) that i kind of know, but he lives 3 hours away. the last time i saw him (at a small concert) i caught him staring at me a few times from across the room (i was standing behind the bar watching the show). we are both sort of "artsy, dreamer, unique, musical" type people. i'm not astoundingly pretty, but i don't look like an ogre (i'm one of those people who isn't a supermodel but isn't ugly). i've never actually talked to this guy, but do y'all think that he will be weirded out if i talk to him the next time i see him? i know that he knows my name (we emailed each other once before) but i don't know if he knows what i look like, so i don't want to seem like some random chick that just starts talking. we're both serious musicians, by the way. so my question is, do y'all think that i would freak him out a little if i struck up a conversation?

no way!! it's not weird at all! next time he is somewhere where you happen to be, look at him and look away a couple of times. if you see him doing the same, then just go up to him and say hi. just strike up a conversation... like if you're at a concert say something like "so you like the band?" or "are you having fun?" just something like that. he won't think it's weird at all. if he likes you, he will talk to u and look interested in the conversation. if he seems distant and you don't feel comfortable talking to him, then you can just tell him to have fun and leave. you have nothing to lose, so go for it!! :)

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Ok so im 14/f n i've been getting my period for a while now. I'm going on a school trip soon and I'm pretty sure i'm gonna have my period then. I've never used a tampon before but there is no way i can wear a pad with my bathing suit on this trip. The problem is i'm afriad to use a tampon and i don't know how. Anyone wanna help!?!

hey!! there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of... they don't hurt AT ALL and you can't even feel them. i suggest starting off with playtex slimfits... they are extra thin and you can put one in very easily, even if you've never done it before. just put one leg on the toilet and put one in. read the directions on the box or on the piece of paper inside the box for more detailed directions. once it's in you shouldn't feel it at all! if you do, then you didn't put it in far enough so take it out and try again!! :) don't worry you will love them! and don't forget to change them often... every 4 to 6 hours! good luck!

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alright, you answered one of my questions about the hair and the showers and the friz etc.

well i have an okay straightener right now but it doesnt thouroughly straighten all of my hair (like at the bottom). i was looking on amazon.com for the straightener you suggested. to my surprise i found that there are all different styles of the "remington wet 2 straight" hair product. the one im looking at right now (around 35 dollars) is a bigger black and gray one. now im just wondering if i found the one you're talking about. umm it has 3 black buttons on a gray oval thing on the side. also the ceremic part of it is gray but the overall body is black with gray printing on the top side.

if this works really well and if it wont break in like a year, im willing to buy it. i just need to make sure im not making a mistake.

thanks i really want to buy a new straightener.

hey!! yup that's the one!! if you don't want to buy it online and pay shipping or whatever, I'm sure they have it at wal mart mart or k mart (that's where i got mine)for $30! i have really long and thick hair, and i straighten my hair almost every day, and i've had this for over a year and it still works just as well. just be careful with it at first... you obviously don't want to put your hand on the "head" like you might with most straighteners, because steam will come out and burn you! you'll get used to it, i adapted to it very quickly! also, you can use it on wet hair, but even though it says that it's safe i don't know if i believe it... plus it takes too long, so i get my hair mostly dry before i use it!

as far as the ends of your hair... maybe they are really dead... i know when mine get really dry i can't get them straight no matter what! if your last hair cut was over 3 months ago, go get it cut and remove those dead ends to help get your hair really straight!! :)

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sorry idk what catagory to put this under but whatever.

every night i take a shower but every other night i use a shower cap and dont wash my hair. a few people at school said that its bad to wash your hair everyday. i know it strips the oils out but should i not wash it every night? should i not wash it 2 days in a row? my hair is really thick and after taking a shower, my hair gets frizzy. what are some ways i can prevent friz after taking a shower? also i straighten my hair every morning but i dont like burning it so much, i just hate having it so frizzy when i wake up. so, what are some ways i can keep the friz down after taking my shower (and the results will last long through the day).

it would be amazing if you can answer all the questions i had in that paragraph. thanks, ill rate high for anything you give me

hey!! yes, washing your hair every single day is deffinitely bad for you... it's been said in pretty much every magazine and by every hair stylist. it's not a big deal if you wash it every day for a couple of days, but it is nice to skip a day here and there just to keep it as healthy as possible.

the frizz you're talking about... are you talking about the kind that you end up with when you wear a shower cap and don't wash your hair? that pretty much happens because water vapor gets in the hair and gets the top layer a bit moist, and as a result frizzy. there are some good anti frizz creams and gels you could use to keep it down, but they can also make your hair greasy and result in build up.

i recommend going to wal mart or something and getting the remington "wet to straight" straightener. it's around 30 dollars, and it's the best thing ever. it does a really good job getting hair straight, and it has little openings through which all the moisture that causes frizz in your hair escapes as steam!! no moisture = no frizz!! :) i can't live without it!! haha hope that helped

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