How can I stop thinking if my girlfriend cheating on me
Question Posted Sunday April 30 2006, 8:21 am
Hi, I'm from Italy. I met my girlfriend about 7 months ago and I love her very much.She is a very friendly girl and got lots of friends. she is still in contact with some of her exs and that drives me mad.she says they are still friends and if the relationship didnt work well between them does not mean they are bad people and thats why she still is in contact with them, she is also telling me she needs to see them sometimes as the are friends and she miss them but I really don't like it.I don't know how to react and what to tell her or ..maybe I'm wrong.please give me some advice.thanks
TheTeenGirl answered Sunday April 30 2006, 9:17 pm: I know this probably has to be bugging you, because this would bug anyone. And it's ok to be bothered by it, but this is a situation where you'll have to test the person she is when she's with other guys.
I know this doesn't sound like an appealing idea, but maybe you should be with her when she actually meets up with other guys instead of letting her go alone. I think you'll feel more secure knowing what is actually going on rather than sitting at home worrying about what's going on.
I think that it's ok to feel this way about your girlfriend still being in contact with her ex-boyfriends, but what you have to do is be fair and give her a chance to prove that she can be trusted with other guys. You both have been together for quite a while, so I think that you have to start learning to bring in the trust in this relationship.
Paper_Heartsz answered Sunday April 30 2006, 7:13 pm: You shouldn't worry at all! you two been together for 7 months. So no need to worry. Just talk to her about it, and tell her how much she means to you, and how much she cares. She would understand.
But you should still let her see her exes if she still happens to still be friends with some of them.
Maybe ask if you can meet one of them? Get you more comfortable for who she is going to be with. But if she ever does get a chance to see them one day, don't be all up in the business like "Where did you go?" "What did you do?"
Otherwise, she will think you don't trust her enough, and possibly end the relationship.
loves2shop86 answered Sunday April 30 2006, 3:22 pm: hey! i don't think you should worry about it, i mean they are her exes for a reason, right? she is no longer with them because a romantic relationship between them didn't work out, so why would she be sneaking around with them now behind your back and cheating on you? plus, she is telling you that she hangs out with them, so she believes that you trust her and she has no need to do anything behind our back.
if it really bothers you, ask her to go out with her one day when she will be meeting up with them. or at least tell her that you would be more comfortable if there was a couple of people with her when she hangs out with them. reassure her that you trust her completely and know she wouldn't do anything behind your back, but that you don't feel comfortable with the situation. how would she feel if you went out with your exes... alone? she should understand!! :) good luck! [ loves2shop86's advice column | Ask loves2shop86 A Question ]
RealisticWench answered Sunday April 30 2006, 2:53 pm: Bollocks to you being wrong, I can totally understand where you're coming from. I don't know anyone in a serious, long-term relationship that would be happy about their partner being friends with their ex. And out of respect for my partner I wouldn't see my exes and he does the same for me.
There's nothing you can do about it though if you don't want to break up for her so maybe you could make it easier on yourself and go with her when she goes to see her exes? That way you will know what they're getting up to and see that they're just friends. I don't see why that would be a problem for her if she's got nothing to hide. [ RealisticWench's advice column | Ask RealisticWench A Question ]
Foundsoul answered Sunday April 30 2006, 12:21 pm: I think you need to be very careful of your jealousy. Just because she is friends with other men, be they exes or not, does not mean she is romantically interested in them. You need to be very careful that this jealousy does not effect your relationship with her, because afterall, there's only so much jealousy and distrust a person can put up with before they call it a day [ Foundsoul's advice column | Ask Foundsoul A Question ]
Notso answered Sunday April 30 2006, 12:02 pm: Just because a relationship doesn't work out doesn't mean someone is to blame for it. Sometimes the people just weren't meant to be romantically involved, it doesn't mean they can't be friends. They obviously had stuff in common if they dated. I highly doubt you are attracted to every female ever, so why would your girlfriend be attracted to all males?
evil-devil12 answered Sunday April 30 2006, 10:37 am: yeah i think you have nothing to worry about and if you really like her you should trust her! you have no right to be soo mad cause she told you its just because sometimes she needs to see them! you could just talk to her about it maby she'll understand but dont worry to much :-)
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