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I'm giving up, big time.
Hi, I'm Jacky.
My life has been rough, because of me.
It got better, until I did stupid things, and now I feel like there's nothing else I can do to make it better, I just mess up more and more. The more I mess up, the more I look like a dumb ass.
First, I have a friend over and I sneak two guys downstairs at 11 at night, and my dad's caught us.
So, my dad and mom have absolutely no trust in me, what so ever. I actually think my family hates me, because I don't listen, and I do things I'm not supposed. I've been doing that, for the past years. Plus they found out I tried pot and I'm sexually active. So that's a huge minus. I get in huge fights with my parents, mostly with my dad. I feel like I just failed my family, honestly. I don't know how to talk or act around them anymore. I just feel uncomfortable and awkward.
And then, I reported this kid for selling drugs, which he sold them to me, and I told a teacher at school about it, and she ended up telling the principal on me, I thought I could trust her. Then I had to rat him out because of what I told my teacher, then I have to go to all this court shit and be a witness, which I don't really want to be. I wish this would've never happened, this kid is going to have a fucked up life with my involvement. What the fuck is wrong with me. It's all my fault. And I can't take it back. But that's my fault.
And 3rd, I cheated on my boyfriend with another guy. I couldn't stand my boyfriend, he's attracted to assholes, shit, and farts. And I'm being honest. He hits me. He's just a jackass. But he knows how to cover himself to make people believe him. But honestly, he was a huge part of my life. And now that's gone. But now I'm with the other guy, who hardly calls me, he says he thinks it's best because he doesn't want us to get too attached and end up being bored with each other. Now, I love talking on the phone, and really like him, but I don't know. I just think there's something wrong with me. I honestly think I'm hated by a lot of people. I do not know what to do with my life anymore. I'm really scared and stuck. I've cheated and lied before. And I've just been a bad person lately.
I wish I could've handled things differently. But, I didn't. I have no idea what to do. I feel like I've fucked up my life. I think a lot of people hate me too. But that's besides the point.
Please anybody, give me advice. I don't know how to start know, I have no idea what to do with myself anymore.
Thank you.
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Jacky,
Everyone makes mistakes.
Ive been through a few years where it seemed all i could do was mess up. It seemed like nothing i did was ever right. But then i got some amazing advice on this sight. And id like to share that with you.
This girl on here, she told me that just because i had a few bad moments didnt mean i was a bad person. She said she knew i was a good person and that i could be whoever i wanted to be and act however i wanted. She said that i have control over my life, evry single aspect of it, and she was right. She also told me to turn to God, meditation, anything spiritual for direction. I took up yoga and started praying once a day. Im not sure if thats your thing but it really helped me.
It also helped me to be productive. If i can look at my day and feel like i accomplished somthing i sleep a lot better at night. You might want to get involved in a sport/team or [or maybe not] you could visit at your local hospital, help your mom with the groceries, try to do one nice thing a day.
Goodluck. If you ever want to talk just inbox me.
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Hi Jacky first of all let me tell you that no matter what happens youre still a worthy person.
Im probably the first one to tell you this but ok remember that no matter how bad youve behaved there's always someone out there that loves you and thats God. Let me tell you that if answers are the thing youre looking for, there is absolutely NO ONE better than God to guide you.
God is so great that whatever you ask for he'll give to you if that petition comes directly from your heart.
I would suggest you try to prey to Jesus Christ ask Him for guidance. If you dont know how to prey then go to a church look for one nearby. You dont have to go to one if you dont feel ready but I HIGHLY recommend you do so you learn more about His wonderfulness. trust me you cant get better advice from anyone else. Only He can truly help you.
trust me i've seen it happened even killers repent and change for good. But its all thanks to His grace.
Please please Im encourage you to turn to Him. You'll see that once you let Him in your life everything and I mean EVERYTHING will get better.
Hope this helps you and that you decide to do this
God Bless You Jacky,
-Luna
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I would just try to be good and not get into drugs or sex and talk to your parents and tell them that your sorry for the things you did, that's your past and your planning to improve. Just start improving yourself a little at a time. Hope this helps..
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First of all, you are too young to believe that things aren't going to be okay. I'm sure that there are many other teenagers//kids.. that have or are going through what you're dealing with now.
If you really want your life to get better, you're the main factor. Once you stop causing trouble[even if it's not intentional]-- things will improve with your home and social life.
Everything you do now, if fixed, won't effect you at all in 5 years-- I promise.
Try counsoling, or seeing a social worker involved at your school.
Take care of yourself, and you'll be fine.
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Well, im glad im the first one giving after reading all that.
It seems your not addressing sertin things in your life and in result your making bad choices.
I know things must be awkward but things will get better. You just need to find yourself. And never forget to keep finding yourself for if you stop, you stop growing as a person.
And I can see your doing which most young girls go through atleast once. Your in need of a boyfriend. You think you need a boyfriend. And its killing you and who you are. Ive seen this so many times. Your at the age where you start becoming the person you`ll be for the rest of your life. And I see that you just want to be somebody`s girlfriend and in some cases nothing more! Ive seen girls sit one the computer day in day out, 4 hours a day waiting for her boyfriend playing word seach. Talkin to me saying she`s bored and is very closed minded to new things.
Just know that what your doing if it is so, Is very distructive and you`ll only get worse and worse till its too late.
You dont have a place, and you need to find one that doesnt need a guy.
I can see your parents must be adopting a common yet very qustionable methon of parenting which I personally cant stand such a ignorant thing to do to a child. And Ofcorse there going to be harder on you then what your used to in the good ol kid days Jacky, its what is to be expected with the path you have choosen.
Basicly you cant have your cake and eat it to even tho how cloudy of a metaphor that is.
But if your not happy with your current relationship with your parents and want the old way back. Its as easy as doing what makes them happy.
There rules might be a bummer, but it makes them think you wont turn out to be someone who is isnt glutton, who wont let there greed over take them, where your not slothy or a lustful gal and dont get over taken with wrath and envy no one. To be someone who isnt a fuck up and has no pride.
Your parents know that those personality trates can only lead you into a state of mind where you wont love life. But those things happen only to those who have little discipline. All this happen, because you have little discipline. It can all be fixed with a little discipline in a snap.
It will take time and some discipline to win the trust over with your parents.
--Helpful Hints--
Try not sneaking in or out less often.
Seem Less Sexually active! As in, if you were going out and wanted to ware something a bit slutish, walk out in a t shirt or a jacket and pants. The Little Things DO COUNT!!! Atleast to your Parents.
And as for the kid. You have to ask yourself what did you do? We live in a world where draconian punishment is acceptable in this so called modern society. And fyi he cannot get student loans so collage is going to be a hell of a task for him as for you as well. Even though nobody was hurt. He will be punished. And a wise man once said, "wish no hurt to your enemy and treat them as if they were family"
So how you take these sins will make or break you.
Some people dont do a damn thing and care only for themselves, sure they might wish or think about making there life better in some way. But bad people have those thoughts. Solthful, greedy people.
And with your boyfriend. He hits you! He`s a AssHole! Jesus if I had a nickle. Sorry but i must be frim with this kind of thing. And dont feel bad that you cheated, he hits you and he expects you to be loyal? I dont see the logic. He already tried to break your Spirit by hiting you. thats what "men" try to do Jacky.
But if you want to really get your life back in order and be that person everyone wants you to be
Look for the 4 noble truths, And studie that until you fully understand it left and right. It could take months, weeks, or even years, but the more you understand the more discipline and happy you will become. You have my absolute word.
Remember to Commit for Buddhaman Nevey stops learning, even if something little is gained, I want it! So feel free to express anything to me.
More qustions? You know the Name. <@:3
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I agree with a lot of what the other person said. EVERYONE makes mistakes, and from the sounds of it you are still young and have plenty of time to turn your life around. I cannot tell you how many times I have felt like everything I did was worthless, and felt like everyone hated me. And I'll bet that there a whole bunch of others who feel exactly the same way. The important thing is that you realize that you have made mistakes, the next step is to start fixing them. Also about the guy who was selling drugs, its not your fault. He screwed up his own life by making the decision to sell the drugs in the first place. you did the right thing telling, even though right now you probably feel kinda crappy about it.
Summer is almost here, so take this vacation to fix things and change the things you don't like about yourself. It is never too late... :) good luck!
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This is a really huge problem. You need to tackle things bit by bit, apologize to people you've hurt. It'll be very difficult, and I know you probably feel everything from now on is impossible, but it's not. You need to regain everyone's trust, perhaps spend time with your parents, become close to them and stick to what they say, so they feel they can trust you. And as for people hating you, well, once you have sorted out your problems, apologized to everyone you have hurt, then they have no reason to! As for your ex-boyfriend, as someone that hits you, you clearly deserve better, no matter what you've done. I'd say go single for a while, just until you've sorted everything. Don't try and solve it all at once, do it slowly, piece by piece, and although it will be difficult, I know you can do it! Believe in yourself, and I promise you everything will go well =)
Most of all, don't forget to smile!
Everything will be okay =)
Good luck! I wish you well!
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babe, I've been through the same sort of things. I've lied and been a horrible person. I've done drugs. almost got raped when i was drunk. i fight with my parents, and i never tell them anything. I think you should try to start over. clean your slate and start fresh. Tell your parents how sorry you are for what you've done and tel your ex boyfriend how you feel. stand up to him. thats what i had to do and it felt GREAT. show your current boyfriend how much you like him and tell him that you want to talk to him all the time because you just love/like him. if he loves/likes you as much as you love/like him then he will want to talk to you alot too.
Also... I always felt like i screwed everything up too. but it's just a way of learning. if you never made any mistakes then you wouldnt know how to deal. thats just the way life is. but if you clean up after your mistakes then things will get better. :) hope i helped. if not, then sorry. :/
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