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friends gone far...not me
okay so im 14 and most of my friends hav gotten fingered, eaten out, gave hjs and bjs, but ive only made out... like its just not my style. i only like to really makeout if i like the person.i just dont know when im ready to give a hj or bjor anything related to that. any advice/opinions would be great :]
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You are so, so young. When I was 14, I had the same questions/thoughts you did. Thank God I have matured a lot more since then, and developed morals. I'm 19 now, and still haven't had sex, or any form of sex, and I'm going to wait until my wedding night to do so. I've had many opportunities to have sex (and oral sex, etc.), but I simply knew what was right for me, and down the road I would regret it. I enjoy the challenge after remaining pure this long, I take great pride in it. Not many people can keep it in their pants. I know only 1 or 2 other virgins...isn't that sad? I want to set a good example to everyone out there. I love being different from everyone else.
Anyway, you still have a lot of growing up to do before you're even mentally capable of making decisions like that, even though you may feel like you are. You're barely a teenager. It's okay to date and have fun with guys, but there are a lot of risks that come with sex (every form of sex). A night of compromise isn't worth a lifetime of regret.
A good quote to keep in mind:
"Anyone can go out and have sex, but it takes a lot more to say 'no'."
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Ok....theres absolutley NOTHING wrong about not having done those things yet! It's great that you only feel comfortable with someone you like...thats how it should be! No matter what you do...don't feel pressured to do something you'll probably regret just because all of your friends are making the same mistakes.
hang in there!
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In my oppinion 14 is too young to be doing anything besides making out. You are a very strong person to be not getting into these actions, once you start them it is very hard to quite them. I think that you need to keep it this way, you will know when it is time for you to go farther, to me you aren't going to be in a very serious relasionship at this point of your life. Also if you are starting these actions now, it might get out that you are easy, a slut..... and so on, I dont know how big of a deal it was then but, I made alot of mistakes when I was in high school and got pregnant at 17 and I got alot of crap when i was in school. Every one of those things can lead up to sex. Trust me you do not want to go through having a kid when you are still a kid, leave these things to adults:)
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I wish that i would have waited when i was your age.
Its ture that your friends may not be telling you the truth they just say things like this so that others will think wow that so cool that your already doing it but in the real world people are looking at you like your a slut.
i think that it is great that you are just not ready for some thing like that and when you are you'll know and hopefully its with some one you really care about and it will be worth the wait.
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You are actually being smart by waiting. If you do this sort of thing with a random guy and you aren't ready for it you will not enjoy it and will regret it later.
You have the rest of yor life to become sexually active and experience these kind of sexual acts. Don't be in a hurry to rush in to this as it's best to be with soeone you care about.
Your friends may not all be telling the truth either. There's a chance they've only heard or read about this stuff and haven't all done it. Believe me you aren't the only 14-year-old who isn't having oral sex, being fingered or giving guys hand jobs.
Just wait patiently and you'll wind up in a relationship with a guy you love and then can decide to do this. Your friends may also get a reputation as easy or slutty for engaing in these types of activities with whichever boy they're with that day.
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i was the same exact way at your age! it felt like everybody around me was on such a higher level with boys. i couldn't understand why anybody would want to do that kinda stuff.. seemed so gross i guess! but when i met my current boyfriend, overtime i came to realize it wasn't that bad, and that it was more about pleasuring another person than actually thinking what you're physically doing. you're still quite young and do not have to do anything your friends are doing (no matter what age you are), because it'll be an easier experience when you actually want to do that stuff with someone you feel comfortable being with. true experience: take my word for it! your style is your style, stick with it until you want to change it! :)
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Guess what? I'm 15 and in the same boat, kind of. A lot of people I know are like, "Omg I gave this guy a blowjob, then this guy was eating me out!"
Totally NOT my style either. I agree with you and I'm glad to see there are more people like me. I don't even see the appeal in blowjobs, or handjobs. But maybe that's just me.
And I agree with the person below me who said the girls you know probaly didn't even do it to guys they love. Don't worry about what other people are doing. As long as you're happy with yourself, the actions others are taking shouldn't matter. They will regret it one day, like the person below me also said. And you won't have anything like that to regret, because you're not gonig around giving blowjobs to ranomd guys you probably won't even talk to in a year.
- Laura. (15-f)
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haha, well they probably did it with someone they didn't love.
they'll regret it.. eventually. so don't worry about other people.
when you find someone you love, you'll be ready.
and making out is okay! don't go any farther than you want to.
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you are only 14!! dont do that. if your friends have, then thats them. if you do something like that this young chances are you will regret it. if you are even doubting if you are ready for anything that involves sex then you are obviously not ready. dont move at your friends rates, move at your own. lots of people, including me, respect the fact that you are cautious with people you just make out with. i have seen things at my highschool with stuff like that and it is just so much drama and it seriously ruins lives. i hope that i have helped you...
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dont feel rushed into it
your only 14! im not being funny, but you've got the rest of your life
if your friends are doing stuff like that already at 14 you can be the one not gettin sti's or stds and i bet they will because they wont think about there actions
i respect you not giving into pressure andonly wanting to do something with someone you like and want to be with, thats guts
dont feel pressured at all, its not evena big deal
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