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Marriage
I'm a 32-year-old female who has been having an affair during the last year with my 59-year-old married boss. I am madly in love with him and divorced my husband eight months ago to marry him.
He promised to divorce his wife, but so far there is no sign of divorce. I'm beginning to think I'm a big fool. What do you think?
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Look into it. Maybe confront his wife about it. Or him.
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that sucks dont divorce someone u love for some creepy old dude
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I don't want to be rude if I am.
I think you were a fool to marry this older man. He's way too old for you and he's married. I understand you love him and I bet you did. However, loving this older man is wrong. Love is strong and it can make you do stupid things. If he isn't getting a divorce, he probably loves both of you but he's deciding to keep his wife. It will be hard to stop seeing the guy, but it's for the best. A good person will let him go.
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Although, I am not talking from personal experience, or even close in yours, or his age, I am still going to answer your question.
First off-- I totally agree with Khadiya ( other columnist that answered your question. )
For instance, have you ever seen a movie, or t.v. show where this sort of thing happens. I know I have, and it was the exact same way, or the woman was never married also. Well, what happened was is the woman was very much in love with the man she had been having an affair with but, he was married. He kept telling the woman that he was going to divorce his wife. He always said " it wasn't the right time yet, " or " I'm too busy to go threw a divorce, " or " does it really matter if I'm married or not, we can still go on doing this , like we are now and it's working great ?" Since, she loved him so much, she believed him and stayed, but in reality he still loved his wife and didn't want to divorce her, but kept telling the other woman what she wanted to hear. He still had feelings for her, just not like he has for his wife. The other woman was, not a fling or a fuck, but it made him feel younger maybe.
So, that's what I think, I may be wrong. Who knows.
But, I think you should talk to him about it, figure out what path he is on, since you already know yours. Explain to him, that you're still young and can find someone else that loves you and will marry you since you are still young, and that you don't just want to be kept around, if you two don't have a future together. Ween yourself away from him, talk to him alittle bit less each week or so. Don't cut out talking to him, that's just too hard for someone who loves somebody to do. Unless you would want too. But, you are just a fool for his love.
*Sorry, if it was confusing. I was trying to explain that I think the relationship you two have is like those movies, and t.v. shows I have seen.*
Hope I helped ?
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If you are 'madly in love' with a guy and still suspect he's made a fool of you, then he has definately made a fool of you.
Look for another job. You are in a dangerous position both professionally and personally as long as you stay where you are.
He has had plenty of time to offer you his devotion in return. He hasn't, and after a year, likely wont be. Do not loose anything else to this man. Take what you have left and get out.
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Theres about an 85% chance that he isnt going to divorce his wife. Hes almost double your age. It is more likely that you are a fling than anything serious.
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He might be waiting for the right time to divorce her, but the right time may never come. I'm only 16 years old..exactly half your age, and I've never been married, or even in longterm relationship, so I don't know how much I can help you..but I can tell you that even if he's worth waiting around for, the waiting is going to be long and rough. Tell him "its now or never" and don't take "later" for an answer. Be assertive. If he doesn't give in..well I don't know how to tell someone to stop being "madly in love" with someone, but maybe you should get a new job. Seeing him and being around him isn't going to help your situation.
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You are indeed a fool. He will tell you anything to keep you in his reach. I would say just leave the boss alone, but you may lose your job because of this.
What I think you should do is ween yourself off him slowly. Just talk to him a little less every day. Or dont see him as much until you realize that he's not for you.
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I think you are a big fool as well. :)
You should never have started the relationship to begin with. You were both married AND he is not just another employee, which would have been bad enough, but your boss.
He isn't going to leave his wife no matter what he has told you. If he intended to do that he would have done it already.
You were just someone to play with. If you start making demands now you may be out of a job.
I know that probably wouldn't be fair and you could probably sue and have all your business made public, but that is the likely scenario. He will find a reason to get rid of you.
So, you have made a very big mistake here. See if
you can't find a different job and then keep all
relationships out of the workplace. :)
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