|
freshman
hey. well, i'm 14/f. and this year i'm going to be going into high school. and i'm really scared about being around all of the older kids and stuff, but thats not what i'm most scared about. i'm scared about sex. this probably sounds really stupid to some ppl, but i don't care. i really want to wait until marraige, but there is so much pressure in high school, i don't want to do something i know i don't want to do. i mean, i don't even know if i'll have a boyfriend or anything, but if i do, i want him to be someone who won't pressure me. how can i have good judgement. please help. and any other good advice about high school will be much appreactiated. thanks a bunch!!!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships?
The pressure to have sex is all in your head, you create it out of envy and jealousy. Just because everyone else is doing doesn't meen you need to do it. You'll know when your ready to have sex, and obviously it's not right now. Some great people in high school have sex their freshman year, but the truelly great don't pressure other people. If your being pressured just ignore the idiot.
]
First off, dont worry about the upperclassmen. Unless you come off as really easy to get, they wont even pay any attention to you.
Also just say no if your not ready...and look for guys with a good personality that you know wont force you into doing something you wouldn't want to do...
]
There's actually not that much pressure in high school. If you are getting pressure, you're probably hanging out with the wrong group of kids. If any guy pressures you to do something you don't want to do, tell him to fuck off or use your teeth.
It's very possible to through all of high school and not have sex, just ignore the horny guys, stay away from any parties the slutty girls invite you to, and it will also help if you stay sober.
]
So many people portray high school like its some place where theres drugs and sex everywhere and that you can't escape it.
I just finished my freshman year of high school and theres really not as much pressure as a lot of people say there is.
I'm friends with alot of upperclassmen, and not ONCE was I pressured for anything-Drugs, alcohol, sex, anything.
You just have to make friends with the right people. As long as you hang out with the right group of people, and in your case, get the right boyfriend, there's hardly any pressure for anything.
Especially for freshman, in my school, the greatest length upperclassmen went is just complaining about" how "annoying" freshman are.
You really have nothing to worry about.
Your freshman year will fly by! :]
]
Aww welcome frosh! Don't be afraid to go into high school... there's not as much pressure as people say there is. yes, there are people that do EVERYTHING because of pressure but as long as you KNOW what you want, you'll be fine. to have good judgement, get to know the person you date before you actually go out. ask about him to other people... if he gets around a lot, it's probably not a good idea to go out with him. if he's just a regular sweetie, you're better off wth him. i'm not saying her won't pressure you at all but it's more likely that he won't. a lot of guys will ask you "so how far have you gone" & you'll probably say "kissing" or something and that will probably tell them oh that girl probably won't do much with me. if they ask, just tell them you want to wait. if they try and pressure you more, get them out of your life. most just stop after you say no once or twice...just don't lead them on. really, you will be FINE. i know a lot of virgins that are in high school. if you need anything else, let me know. <3
]
Since your waiting until marrige. When you find a guy that you like, make sure that they know that you don't want to have sex or anything like that. If they don't want to wait then don't stay with them. Most guys want sex but if you wait to find the right one and tell them thaty ou want to wait and they understand then there are the right ones. I really hope this made since.
]
It's really sad to hear that so many kids your age are circled around sex all the time that you can't even go to school without hearing about it. First off, I am really glad you have your morals set & that you're choosing to wait till you're married. That's really good to hear. :) Yes, there is pressure, but it isn't too hard to deal with if you have your ways set. People will talk about it & you might hear about with your group of friends. You might feel like you're the only person who isn't having sex. & you might even date a guy who's only interested in it. But if you keep your head high & stick by your decision, it won't be that hard to overcome. You already seem to have good judgement, so all I can say is find someone who has the same morals as yourself. If you start dating a guy, let him know what you believe in, etc. If he's truly interested in you, he'll stick around. If he's not, then he'll move on (which he should because you don't want someone like that anyway.) Don't give in or be easily influenced or pressured. As long as you do those things, you should be okay. I promise. :)
]
Tell me about this pressure. I'm going to be a junior in August, and I haven't been pressured to have sex or try drugs.
There will be prettier people than you and smarter people than you and more popular people than you. I was the girl that everyone knew at the end of elementary school, again at the end of middle school, and now i'd say i know like 700 people.
Remember that everyone wants friends. So just go introduce yourself.
Dating senior guys is pretty much a recipe for disaster. Stick to freshman/sophomores/ and maybe juniors.
And also, please update your age on your profile.
It makes it easier for us columnists. :]
]
Firs off - high school will be fine. The older kids might mess around with you a bit, but all in all, there should be no worries.
You'll end up getting a boyfriend in high school, trust me. There are A LOT more guys now so your options are much more open & you have variety. If you find a guy you like, befriend him.
When you're dating someone, and they pressure you into doing something you're against, dump them. If they ask & you say no, but they keep asking, dump them. That person will more than likely make you feel uncomfortable & you know you shouldn't be around them.
Don't be scared of highschool though. It's a lot of fun & it's a good life experience. You shouldn't really fear it. You'll be fine. Good luck!
]
Ah i remember when i was just going into highschool! i dont technically know what it feels like to be really scared about all that because i had an older brother and i knew i would be fine but regardless of that highschool was barely anything i thought it was going to be. first of all, atleast at my highschool the only time you're pressured to have sex is like at parties with those stupid drunk guys but its NOT hard at all to say 'umm no'...or just ask if they have a condom (usually they dont...then just say oops sorry i only do it with a condom) whenever i reject someone for sex it actually makes me feel good about myself..so honestly the pressure to have sex is not a problem in highschool. its simply: if you want to have it...have it. if not...don't have it.
Other advice about highschool is to be polite and try to get to know the upperclassmen because you DONT want any of them to dislike you. and im mainly talking about the girls, try to be friends with the upper girls not just the guys. because when they find out you're hanging out with their guys then they're a little pissed but if you hang out with them everything's perfect, and you'll get invited to more parties. pretty much highschool isn't scary and its just really fun! Good luck and get excited!!
]
More Questions: |