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Death of a friend.
Yesterday I went to a funeral for a friend that recentley died (june 16, 07) Its so unreal, I cannot believe that it had happened.
Our whole school was basicly at his funeral, or thinking of him and his family.
It was so unexpected and random, why him?
I'm having sucha hard time grasping the fact that he's gone, and I could cry and cry,
I wasnt even that CLOSE to him, like some others, and I seem to be showing so much more emotions about it.
What do I do? Have any of you ever lost any friends?
he was only 16.
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i am 15, and this past november over thanksgiving breaks one of my good friends died of a brain aneuryism. it was so weird because she had been perfectly healthy the week before at school. then she was gone, just like that. we sat next to each other at lunch for three years, and it was so sad coming back to school and her not being there. it does take a lot of time for it to sink in that your friend will not be at school anymore. good things to do are to talk to your friends about it... it seems like almost every day, one of my friends remembers something about the friend that we lost. the other day, i was at a pizza restaurant in my city, and as i was ordering i remember exactly what my friend had ordered every friday night after football games. it's almost as if my friends and i don't realize that she's dead... it's like she's gone away somewhere, like to summer camp, and she just won't come back for a long time. we still talk about her in the present tense. the best thing is to talk about it. i don't know how religious you are or anything, but at her funeral it made me feel a lot better when the speaker said, "we don't really know why god took her from us... maybe he needed another french horn player in his heavenly orchestra. maybe he needed another flag twirler for his flag corps..." there is no immediate thing that you can do to make yourself feel better or forget... the best thing that you can do is remember. you might want to get a spiral and write down all the things you can remember about him. all the stories that you remember over the years. it will take some time to really hit you that he is gone... honestly, it still hasn't hit me that my friend is gone. it's best to grieve now and keep living your life. that's what your friend would want you to do. one of my other friend's dad was killed in an auto accident this week. the funeral was yesterday. it was just so unreal... and i honestly didn't even know the man. he lived down the street from me, his son was in my first grade class, he was my mom's doctor... but i did not know him. and now he's gone. there is nothing that anybody here can really do for you that will make you feel better about this. that's something that comes with time. i hope that you and your other friends are faring well, and if you need to talk, drop one in my inbox.
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I actually lost three close friends in high school and my father. The way I look at things is that it's going to be hard in all reality it's hard to lose anyone to death, and it's expecially hard when you dont get to say goodbye...even if you wernt that close to that person you still have emotions towards the situation, which any person who is caresmatic would.
Losing a friend is like losing part of you, it hurts, but you cant take all the pain and put it upon yourself. I'm sure you've heard a million times that, that personw ouldnt want everyone being sad about it. But in all reality it's true, smile thing about all the good times that person shared in there life. They got to experiance life, and they were taken for a reason.
I'm not a very religious person, but i do believe that all things happen for a reason and i'm sure as hard as it is to believe that your friend is in a better place and is missing all of you but is not in pain or under stress.
I hope I helped alittle
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I know you have gotten many answers like this one, but I, too, went through this perdicament.
I did Cross Country for my school, and I was having a hard time with certain things. There was a guy whom was a Senior. He had a heart of gold and a smile that could cheer anyone up. He helped me through so much.
After the season ended, him and I didn't really talk anymore. Just a simple Hi in the hallway on occation. Couple months later, 4/20 to be exact, all of the teachers were told to read an email that they have received. My english teacher read out loud that someone had committed suicide the night before. We asked who it was and he said the guys name. It was so unreal.
So unreal.
Everyone who knew him in some sort of way went down to the library. Though I was not close to him, it still hurt that someone I knew hurt so much to kill himself. He was 18 years old, and 2 months away from graduating.
That whole day was just a blur. I was with my friends the whole time just walking around.
What made it worse what that I wasn't close to him either, but seeing his best friend's faces was heartbreaking.
My best friends were close to him, and it was the first time I have seen any of them cry.
Just knowing someone who has died is a horrible feeling, a feeling that you cannot decribe.
It makes you realize that it can happen to anyone, and to really pay attention to different feelings of people.
Cherish your friends and your family, they are there for you no matter what.
Don't forget him, pray for him.
It's a hard concept, but if you keep him close to your heart, and stay close with your friends, you will be able to handle it.
Be strong, and I am sorry for your loss.
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A friend of mine was killed in an auto accident 3 years ago. He had just turned 22. I thought the same as you- Why him? He was such a wonderful guy! He was a wonderful friend, to me and everyone. It was a big tragedy. He was well liked by our entire community, and he is dearly missed.
The best thing you can do is to go ahead and grieve, and soon the hurting will stop and the good memories will begin.
Just because you weren't close to him doesn't mean you shouldn't be effected by the loss. He was still your friend and someone you cared about.
Also, everyone shows their grief differently, so don't feel bad about how you show yours.
ygs-29/f
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ok. well im so sorry about your loss. the easiest thing to do is to try and get him off your mind, go shopping with some friends or somthing, anything to get him off your mind, i personally have never lost a friend but i have lost many family members, when my grandpa died i just thought about this, if they are watching over you and seeing you cry they would be dissapointed, they want you to remember them but not be sad, plus hes in a better place now
hope i helped
volleyball_chik_0914
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I can understand your problem.
There was a death at our school his name was Ant he was 16 too.
He died in a horrible car crash and there was another guy that had escape from the car but before he could help Ant the car exploded.
That was a very emotional tragedy for everyone
including me and I really didnt know him either.
I could relate to you because he died of such young age and its sad because he was just at school the following week so not seeing him there hurts EVERYBODY.
So dont moarn over him just hope the best for his family and pray they will become okay.
Also just hope he's in GODS hands and that he's in a wayyyyyyyyyyy better place..
Hope I helped
xoxoxoTRINAxoxoxo
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Awww honey, I'm in the absolute SAME boat as you. My friend died a couple of weeks ago on 5/27/07, and it still bugs the hell out of me. He was so innocent & nice, and he never did anything wrong. He didn't deserve his death at all. It's just..not fair. My friend was 18 years old when he died, and he was just about to graduate from highschool tomorrow [Friday]. He wanted to be a cop! =( And all because someone wanted to die, his life was taken from him, and he was robbed of everything he had, and the rest of his life. Not only that, but his brother is having a hard time.
Although I don't believe in God, you have to understand this. I was talking to my friend about it, and she said "Well, God must've wanted him & his friend for something that only they could do, so he took them." Even though it pissed me off that "God" would let this horrible thing happen to my friend, I understood where my friend was coming from. Although me and my friend weren't as close as everyone else [but still close], I cried so much. I still cry every now & then. It still hurts and it's always going to hurt, and that's something I've learned to accept.
I don't know what helps you get through death, but I surrounded myself with my friends, my family & music to help me cope. They've all been helping me so much & I am finally starting to live my life normally again [I stopped eating/sleeping]. I know it's hard to do, but you've gotta be strong. Honestly, this kid wouldn't want you to be sad. He doesn't want you to stop functioning or to put your life on hold. He wants you to be happy & to keep living normally. He's always going to be with you even if it's not a physical prescence. He's there in spirit.
Just surround yourself with your friends/family & try listening to music. Take your mind off of things by going out places & having fun. I know life isn't fair, but it does indeed get better. I know this is a wake up call, and we've now realized we're not as invincible as we thought. I hope you feel better, and if you'd like to talk to me personally, all of my info is on my column. I'd love to help as best as I can. May your friend rest in peace. Much love. =)
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I went through a situation that was alot like this in February.
I moved away from my old school about 4 years ago and I had slightly kept in touch with my good friend Jason and one night I received a phone call from one of my friends who knew him saying that he died in a car crash.
I was in shock for a while.
It's always hard to grasp the fact that someone is gone, especially at such a young age. And I know for my friend, it was extremely unexpected.
What you have to do is just take the time to think it through and just come to the realization that he is, in fact, gone. And even though you weren't close with him, it's completely normal to show so much emotion. I know when I lost my friend, I fell into this serious depression, because I didn't accept the fact that he was gone. You just have to accept it and do whatever you feel is right to mourn his death.
I'm sorry for the loss, and I hope I helped.
Just let me know if you'd like to talk about this more.
-Amanda. :]
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earlier this year the same thing happened in my community...he didn't even go to my school but everyone knew him and he was everyones friend...I have never seen so many people at a funeral before and I have never seen a town so affected...I didn't know him that well but I was completely torn to pieces...he was 16 and killed by a fellow classmate who was drunk in a car accident...I found that the easiest way to get over the loss was to talk about it...as odd as it sounds...talking about it with friends and family and getting all of the feelings that I had out helped relieve all of the pain that I was feeling...I thought about how happy he was now because he was in a much better place and how wonderful his life here was and how many people he affected and what he did for all of us...it's a hard concept to deal with but talking about it and letting everything out definitely helps the pain to ease away faster
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