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my body
This is extremely embarassing for me to ask.
I am an 18 year old girl from Egypt, but I moved to the USA when I was seven. My parents got me circumcised when I was six. I am worried that no one will want to marry me because I am circumcised, and will think I am gross. I am very worried because when doctors look at me (just check ups, nothing is wrong with me) they gasp, and make a very big deal out of it.
Please any feedback is so appreciated.
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The reason doctors are shocked is that in america, we really don't do female circumsiccions. It's a very rare thing here, but it can be undone, it is very painful though, and you may be missing some things depending on what type of circumsiccion you had done.
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here is a website to explain the female circumcissions, if you don't know a lot about it. which i'm sure you do, but just in case. wikipedia.com also has some inforamation on it to. I would recamend going to a doctor to get it undone, just for the fact that they can make it not hurt as bad. Also, depending on what type of circumcission you had, may force you to get it undone, just so that you can have sex when your ready that is.
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umm girl cant get circumsied only boys can
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I admit that I dont have any experience, information or even the slightest idea about your case.
But I saw this episode of Nip Tuck of this girl who got everything back. It can be undone, and you are old enough to take care of it by yourself. According to Nip Tuck of course.
Dont you worry about the rating, I know I wasn t helpfull in the first place.
Can you feel anything down there?
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The point of marriage here is that you love one another for who you are and respect the other persons belifes, culture, and so on. If a guy won't marry you for that then they are not worth your time. But don't let it bug you too much.
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I don't mean to offend you, but are you familiar with American culture? If you're not, here's something you should know: people here get married because they love one another.
Getting married has nothing to do with sexual body parts. The only other thing besides love that I would think determines if people get married is their religion.
No offense, but I've been brought up to believe that in the Middle East, men only marry pure virgin women. That is definitely not the case in the United States.
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well i'd just like to say i'm sorry you had to endure that. it's not right nor fair that they would do that to you, though it is part of your culture and religion.
but like everyone said, doctors are aren't used to it.
and if a person really loves you, it won't matter. but maybe tell the person so they know, and if they leave because of it. THEY ARE SCUM! and you can do way better and find someone who loves you for you, not for sex
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I agree with everyone below about the doctors' thing.
The marriage thing...well the point of marriage is loving that person unconditionally...so if that person is reallly INLOVE with you...they won't care about that!
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the doctors probably haven't seen it before.
And if you are in love with a guy, chances are, he will love you so much that it won't matter whether or not you're circumcised.
maybe you could get it reversed if it matters so much.
hope i helped
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My Mother is a midwife and sees an awful lot of girly bits, including circumcised ones. In Western society female circumcision is common practice and many people, even doctors, won't have seen it before. This is probably why they make a big deal out of it.
What you have to remember is that anyone who won't marry you because of it can't possibly love you or be worth your trouble. There are people who have the most horrific disfigurements and disabilities and manage to find someone who loves them and who doesn't care that their faces don't look like everyone else's or their legs don't work.
I know this isn't quite the same thing, but it's in the same vein. This will not stop you from finding someone who loves you because love is accepting someone for who/what they are, not for just their physical appearance. If you end up in a relationship with someone who is not from your culture then you will have to explain it to them, but as I have said before, if they love you they will accept it. They might knock you back and hurt you but you must remember that those people aren't worth it.
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I know that your parents were probably intending only to do what was best for you when they had you circumcised. They never meant to harm you or make you feel awkward. That being said, it is considered mutilation to circumcise a female in our society, and not arbitrarily so, even though we accept male circumcision so easily. When we circumcise males, we do it usually with anesthesia, and while they are infants. In addition, while female circumcision usually involves removal of the clitoris, the male sexual organ is usually left functionally intact in our society. Female genital mutilation cannot be compared to what Americans see as routine male circumcision. We are not used to seeing something that makes us feel so shocked and allows us to see something we view as torture. Even I, when I read this, thought you probably needed help in dealing with the pain, shame, embarassment, or whatever in the procedure itself. I'm surprised to hear that your issue is not with the pain or the fact that this has been done to you, but rather that you worry how others will react.
One good piece of advice is to let people know in advance what to expect. A trustworthy physician, if you have been completely candid with him or her about what will be visible before hand, will be able to check his or her emotions. We medical types still don't like it, but we won't react as strongly if you tell us before we see it. We still can't help but think of how much pain you must have endured, how betrayed you may have felt, and how horrible it may be for you to show those scars to anyone. To your parents, this was part of their religious duty. To us, this is torturing children and it quite upsets us.
Regarding a potential future husband or boyfriend, it's going to be up to you, again, to educate him and inform him about what he's going to see. You can start off by giving him literature about Egypt and your (presumably) Muslim faith. You can mention female circumcision and slowly ease him into it with a "that happened to me." A person who shares your background or faith may be more understanding than the rest of the population. But anyone who loves you should be mature enough to accept you for who you are.
One final thought: I'm 34 and have had multiple surgeries. I have had eight major abdominal surgeries and have nasty scars with so many lines I look like a map. I have one scar above each breast where chemotherapy ports have been implanted. Then I have a finger that's shorter than the others because it was cut off when I was a child. I have a burn mark on my arm near my wrist and two on my ankle from surgery. You know what I've noticed? It's the scars I can't hide that I'm most comfortable with. Those are the ones people could see every day but they rarely comment on them. The ones I'm most anxious about are the ones I never let anyone see. Maybe if they were visible, I'd see that no one cares. They'd still look me in the eye and see the whole me. My husband sees them and he certainly doesn't care. He still tells me I look sexy naked even though I feel damaged and deformed.
I hope that you can find someone who understands the whole context of your altered body. Know that when you find that person, he will love you for you, not for your appearance.
Sabine
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If the guy you choose loves you it won't make a difference to him. You will have to explain it to him unless he is native to your country of origin, because he won't understand it otherwise. You will do fine though.
Next time you visit your doctor,make a list of questions you want answers to and don't be afraid to ask them. I'm sure they don't mean to be rude, its just not something they are used to seeing. They will answer any questions you may have. :)
To any others answering this question, look it up.
I mention this because we have a lot of young advisers who may give you rude answers because they have never heard of girls being circumcised.
If they read the answers before them as they should this will help. :)
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