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peircings
please help me. I don't know what to do anymore! ok. here's the deal. My best friend has been like "doing things". Today she called me and said that last night she peirced her nose (BY HERSELF). I was SO shocked and started to think I shouldn't hang out with her anymore. She went close to s*x but didn't. And she ALWAYS says that she's fat but she isn't. One day she told me she threw up her food but only once. Should I still hang out with her?
ps. I DON'T (OR DIDN'T) DO ANYTHING SHE DOES (OR DID)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
There's no real reason for you to discontinue being her friend.
She pierced her nose by herself...not a reason. She went close to having sex--it's her sex life. She threw up once..eh that you may have to be concerned about. But what she is doing--is it affecting you in a negative way?
From what I can read she's not effecting you in a bad way and you just feel like you want to run away from her because you don't want to get pulled into the things she is doing/scared by the thing she is doing. Only you have the power to control what to do unles you let someone else control it.
So if you start to feel like what she is doing is effecting you in a bad way, she is pressuring you to do crazy/stupid stuff, then drop her. But for now, she's not dragging you into anything so just chill because if you ditch her, erm, yeah. Problems
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Honestly; I don't think her descisions affect you. Why the hell would you ditch your friend just because she does things like that.
I've pierced things by myself, its not a big deal.
rate me bad; idc.
you shouldn't do that to your friend.
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Your friend is on a self-destructive, attention-seeking streak. You can choose to turn your back and walk away, but then you really don't have any business calling yourself her friend.
I can't help but think that she's looking for a reaction. The things she is doing are pretty mild, overall. For instance, by doing a self-piercing of her nose, the worst thing she can reasonably expect is a mild infection which can be taken care of quite easily with an antibiotic cream. It doesn't hurt to throw up your food ONE time; it hurts if it becomes a habit. "Almost" having sex is something that thousands of teenagers do. And every woman I've ever known has complained about being fat at one time or another.
Still, that doesn't mean there's nothing to be concerned about. Your friend is testing what may be some dangerous waters, and it's possible that she may find herself trapped in an undertow. If that's the case, she'll need someone to throw her a lifeline - and if you don't intend to be there to throw it, she deserves to know. In other words, if you're going to stop hanging out with her and no longer consider her a friend, she deserves to know that and she deserves to know why. Don't expect that to go down well, though.
What you do all depends on how close a friend you consider yourself to be. If you're a casual acquaintance, then she probably doesn't intend to depend on you for anything, and so waling away wouldn't be a big deal. If, however, you consider yourself to be a real friend, then you'll stick by her, tell her when you think she's going too far, and let her know if and when she goes someplace you don't intend to follow.
Only you can make the call, but I would suggest that you shouldn't abandon her right when she could probably use a friend.
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she may be a bad influence on you but still i would just talk to her tell her that what shes doing is not right that you care for her this much to tell her that it aint right you even said it yourself you havent done any of the stuff she does dont let it get to you dont start doing some of the stuff she does because you think its cool . Do what you think is right .
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Hey,
What you gotta do is talk to her. Tell her that all that she's been doing is all very dangerous, and some of it can potentially ruin her life.
But just because you don't believe in what she does, doesn't mean you shouldn't be friends with her any more. (UNLESS she wants you to start doing things like that. That'd be the last straw for me.)
If you need any more help, leave me something in my Inbox and I'll be glad to help.
Hope everything goes well,
-Jam
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just because she is doing these things does not mean she is a bad person i would talk to her about the throwing up thing though and tell someone else iif it gets serious but it is not bad to get piercings or to have sex(but that depends on how old she is)just don't ditch herbecause she is your friend and just because she is acting differently does not make her bad(except for the throwing up thing)hope i helped!
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Noo don't bail on her now. She needs you the most right now. Try and help her get back on the right path becuse if you leave her she'll go hang out with other people who do worse stuff than what shes doing and we don't want that to happen. So I think you should still be bbfs and just try and help her get back on the right path. But to me it does'nt sounds like to too bad or anything..yet..so just help keep her "good"
lol hope i helped
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Come on, now. She is your best friend. Why bail on her because of the choices she is making? That doesn't make her a bad person. Her nose and sex life doesn't effect you in any way.
As for her body image, try your best to make her feel good about herself. You may let her know that throwing up her food is very bad for her, and the acids from her stomach will damage her esophagus, make her voice sound like gravel, and ruin the enamel on her teeth. The real tragedy is it can cause heart complications and death.
If it is something she does continuously, you need to get her to seek help.
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I don't think this is a reason to drop her as a friend. But just tell her that the path she is going down isn't right. If she continues to do this stuff badly, then you might want to re-consider being as close as you are with her. It all depends on what you want to do. Because, peer pressure is going to come in sooner or later.
Hope I have helped. :)
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sounds to me like right now would be the worse possible time to just leave a friend like that. she's most likely making all these decisions for a reason. you need to talk to her, tell her that she's getting you worried about all the wreckless things she's doing or is thinking of doing. stay with her through thick and thin. it doesn't mean you have to join her in all these things just let her know you're there if she needs you. she could have an eating disorder already, that you should probably watch more. if the eating disorder gets really bad, you should really tell someone.
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i can see how this can be shocking. but, i think that right now she needs you. If you just don't feel comfortable hanging out with her, than don't. Like, if you think that she's into drugs, I can understand why you don't want to get into that. But, you should try to steer her in the right direction. My best friend, even though it wasn't this bad, was becoming a slut, but, like, really. It was getting really bad because she started doing things like infront of parents and stuff, and i didn't want to be her friend anymore because she just wasn't being a friend herself, but we tried to do a lot to help her because we didn't want her to be a slut or continue doing what she was doing, so she started becoming a little less sluty. So, I guess what she needed was a friend, you know? Try helping her out a little, and talk to her, tell her all of these things that she's doing and ask her what is wrong, because she must not normally be like this if you are worried, so first talk to her, and then you can make the choice of whether or not you still want to be friends with her after what she says. I know that the situation with my friend wasn't as bad as yours, but I hope my example helped. the best of luck with you and you're friend. xoxo
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well, i tried piercing my face a lot on my own. :/ all the things your friend's doing doesn't make her a bad person, she just happens to be making bad decisions. as a friend, you shouldn't abandon her, you should sit her down and talk to her about all the things that she's doing that worry you. tell her you're scared that she's doing all these things and that it's not healthy. if necessary, you should tell her mom or a councelor or something about her throwing up food and things. she may hate you but it will DEFINITLEY be the best for her. you're a smart kid, you'll know the right thing to do.
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