well i am moving to a new school. i mean these girls are beautiful and very mature. i made 3 new friends over AIM but they seem to be real sexually active. like they grind with boys, make out, and one girl even sticks her hand down boys pants! but i have never even kissed a boy and there are parties and stuff and i dont think i know how to grind or kiss or anything. I find it kind of gross but, i want to fit in. wat do i do?
caramella answered Wednesday August 9 2006, 12:33 am: You dont have to act like them to be cool.Wheres your personality?Do you just let yourself be influenced so easily?No offence but what theyre doing is slutty,i dont think you should do it if youre not comfortable with it.Besides,their your freinds and should respect your opinion.So by your question here does it mean you want to put your hands in a guys pants just to FIT IN??Dont do something you will regret later on. [ caramella's advice column | Ask caramella A Question ]
malibubarbiie111 answered Tuesday August 8 2006, 11:50 pm: don't do something you aren't comfortable doing just to fit in. people will like you for who you are, not for who you pretend to be. so don't push yourself to do stuff like that if you aren't ready just to make friends. i'm sure you will make plenty of friends! just have fun, and just go with the slow of things. in time you will be ready to kiss boys.. but don't push yourself!!! [ malibubarbiie111's advice column | Ask malibubarbiie111 A Question ]
dpry11805 answered Tuesday August 8 2006, 10:47 pm: Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean that it's going to make you a better person if you do. You'll be looked up to more if you stand up and set an example for people who maybe aren't ready for those types of things either. [ dpry11805's advice column | Ask dpry11805 A Question ]
BLONDShorty answered Tuesday August 8 2006, 9:57 pm: i use to think that grinding was like super slutty but then this guy asked me to dance and he got behind me and it wasn't so bad. i was so worried and it's not like people think that you're a slut. it's like a way of dancing. well, atleast that's how people see it now at my school and stuff. don't worry about never having kissed a boy. that comes naturally. i mean, there's no more than that. it just sort of happends. so, dont worry about it. just sit back and relax and the person that will kiss you will come around and just kiss you lol. ok, the girl that puts her hand down the boys pants. you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. just because these girls do that, you don't have to. i mean, the grinding and the kissing, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. don't be pressured into it if you don't want to. guys might respect you more if you simply just tell them that you don't grind and if you do, they won't think any less of you. guys just want you to be you. so, whether you grind or not, it's up to you. it's not like anyone is going to judge you by that. and kissing, it's only natural. so, i guess grinding is too. i mean, it's just a dance! that's why, there's nothing wrong with it. i'm just saying that guys respect girls that give their opinions. and one thing is if you have the same opinions as them, but another thing is that some girls just agree with everything guys say and they make themselves inferior to them. all i'm saying is don't do that. but, there's nothing wrong with grinding or kissing. i don't think that you should put your hand down anyone's pants. lol. then guys will just think that they can get what they want from you. i mean, you can make them happy but don't let them mistake you. you seem like a lovely girl, so don't become something that you're not just to fit in. you don't have to stick your hand in anyone's pants to fit in. you are you and that should be good enough to them
LoveNJstyle answered Tuesday August 8 2006, 9:21 pm: I know it seems like everyone is doing it but really, i think you just met the wrong people at the wrong time. there are a lot of people like you, don't worry. when i first went to high school, i had never grinded with anyone because at my gradeschool it was considered the sluttiest thing ever. by the middle of the year, i tried it out and it was fun. it kinda comes naturally so don't worry about it. if you want to sorta fit in, do that every once in a while but DO respect yourself. come to think of it, i was a lot like you & i was happy. i waited for the right guy before we kissed. don't just makeout with anyone to say you have. the sticking hands down pants... out of the question for now. keep the friends... you probably wont be exposed to any of it anytime soon. eventually you'll meet some more people and then you can pick and choose who you hang out with. let me know if you need anything else! <3 [ LoveNJstyle's advice column | Ask LoveNJstyle A Question ]
hershikissescanhelp answered Tuesday August 8 2006, 9:03 pm: if your around the age of 13yrs. to 16 i suggest you DON'T be like them. YES, it will be a temptation to follow them b/c "they're" everywhere but, you wouldn't want them to be calling you a slut now, would you? o.k. it's one thing to grind(not really a big deal) and it's a whole another CHAPTER to be "sex"ually active! being active can lead to unwanted things like "pregnancy" and things even worse like "STD's". so DON'T BE ACTIVE!!!!lol but uuhhh yea just be comfortable, don't make anyone pressure to do something you DON'T want to do!!!! and that sticking your hand down boys pants just makes me want to ~puke~. like seriously!! don't do that!!!! your probably a good person don't make your self a BAD one!!!!!
if you have anymore questions just get @ my inbox!!!!!
Dumbblond1chick answered Tuesday August 8 2006, 8:54 pm: aww dont worry about it...Partys are beyond fun i used to be sucha party girl. Theres really nothing to grinding your basically just dancing real close to a guy theres a lil more to it but thats all you really need to know. Kissing you dont need to worry about eitehr. their both pretty easy you jsut go with teh flow and keep your cool. But hun if your not comfortable it will make you stand out and i know thats not something yo uwant to do but really its a good thing. Besides when your ready you can do that you can still party without doing those things. Keep those guys waiting lol. play the hard t oget card :) [ Dumbblond1chick's advice column | Ask Dumbblond1chick A Question ]
Teza answered Tuesday August 8 2006, 8:53 pm: They aren't that mature if they're doing those things. Kissing is common and normal but if they stick their hands down boy's pants and such all the time, it's kind of slutty. Even though you want to fit it, don't change who you are. Just because they do those type of things doesn't mean you have to so you can fit it. Be yourself and they will like you. Have fun and know your limits. If they don't like you for who you are, they're not worth it and those are the people you shouldn't look up to. You will meet plenty of other people in your new school, no worries about that. [ Teza's advice column | Ask Teza A Question ]
ductape_n_roses answered Tuesday August 8 2006, 8:48 pm: First of all, how old are you? Going to school means that you aren't over 18 yet. I think. Making out isn't uncommon. Grinding and sticking hands down boys pants?!?!!? They are just selling themselves short!
Just know that you should NEVER change yourself to fit in. Within time, you'll find the gorup you belong with.
Maybe you're not as experienced as these girls. But who cares? If they are truely your friends, they would understand and not make fun or pressure you to do any of these stuff.
If you find it gross, don't do it. You'll know when it's the right time for you. Not them. Not anyone else. ONLY you.
Alpha345 answered Tuesday August 8 2006, 8:45 pm: Don't compromise yourself to fit in. I know you want to fit in, but don't do what they are doing to fit in. Be yourself is the absolutely best way to fit in.
I'm saying this because I've been there before. I've tried to fit in by doing what everyone else (or my "friends" did) and it never worked. Be yourself. You even said you find it gross, so don't compromise and go down to their level!
There are other people to mingle with anyhow. Those who are popular and sexually active usually do not make good decisions and it affects their friends. I am sure your smarter than to be that influenced by them, but just in case, don't get dragged in.
Be yourself. If your yourself and not someone who everyone else thinks is "cool" because of how they act around others, then people will notice you. Usually people are true to themselves. These are the best kind of friends you could ever ask for. Looks and "maturity" (which in the case you are describing, only sounds like physical maturity) aren't everything, remember that.
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