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i need to learn to trust.


Question Posted Tuesday July 25 2006, 1:56 am

alright. here's the sitch.
i have this boyfriend, who i've been dating for
2 days. and i love him very much.

now that probabbly sounds rediculous,
but me and him dated once before, for about
7 months. he treated me like gold. i loved it.

but after a while he seemed to lose interest.
he broke up with me. and he said upfront that he
started to like another girl. i was very hurt, but
i appreciated his honesty.

after like a week of us being broken up. he called
me at 2am. crying. saying he made a big mistake,
and he cared about me yada yada. and i believed
him, and took him back.

then literally 2 days later, he told me he thought
he was making the right decision by asking me back.
but he just realised he doesnt feel the same.

and i felt stupid for taking him back.



now, weve been good friends for about 4
months now.and the other day i went to his
house andhe told me he liked me again, he
claims he never stopped. he ended things
with this girl for me. which must mean something.


he asked me back out when i went to his house.
and we didnt do anything sexual, he just held me
tight and said how much he missed holding me.
and he would kiss my forhead and such.

now,weve been pretty good these past days.
i just feel kindof paranoid ya know.
like when hes gone and i dont know where he is
i'll be all nervous and such. i hate this feeling.
i dont think he would do anything, but its still
a weight on my shoulders. i'd like to learn some
advice on how to not be so paranoid, and learn
to trust him. so our relationship will be stronger.





anyone know any REAL advice on how to do that?




thank you so much.
xxxoxoxo


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FAITHEB answered Sunday July 30 2006, 10:43 am:
You must be a good woman, a woman , that when she loves she loves hard, and when someone shows us they loves us we are like puddy in their hands, which could be good or bad, we are the ones that heart get broken the most, i can asure you as long as your paranoid it will soon fall apart or you will, normally i would tell people if you feel paranoid in the relationship, then why be in it, when your man walk out that door you should feel comfort and relax that he would not leave you or hurt you. If he is worth having,
then relax don't rush the relationship, be his best friend as well as his girl friend, do some of the things he's interested in, lol that will keep him near,


TAKE CARE GOOD LUCK
FAITHEB

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rkfdanthony09 answered Wednesday July 26 2006, 7:17 pm:
Dear My Anonymous Friend,
I know that you feel worrited about your boyfriend sneaking around on you, and I'm here to tell you that it's fine for now. You obviously feel that he may try and break your heart again, so you still don't basically trust him. To be honest, that's normal as well. Trust is something hard to get back once you loose it! To make it go away, just spend more time with him and when you feel something is wrong, just talk with him and tell him why you feel the way you do! It takes time. Just be patient with the feeling and trust me... It will go away!

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hgluvsu answered Tuesday July 25 2006, 5:48 pm:
ok this guy sounds like a great person to be around. i think that to learn to trust him you just need to tell him how your feeling like when hes gone snd stuff. and mabey he can call you like when hes goin out and stuff and that might help







xoxoxox
hgluvsu

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caramella answered Tuesday July 25 2006, 10:48 am:
this guys not ready for a relationship yet,seriously he brakes up with you goes to a different girl because he said he likes her and then goes back to you which obviously means hes using you and he likes changes a lot,hes controlling the way you feel and your beiliving his lies,who knows mabey he went to that girl cuz he wanted to get intimate(because you didnt give him that)then he goes back to you .....he just wants to feel liked by someone so he can brag to his freinds about it,and in my opinion whoever lies to you or betrays your trust once will definetly do it again.

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favegirl13 answered Tuesday July 25 2006, 8:27 am:
looks like he's been using
it seems to like this guy can't live without an girlfriend
and are you giving him many chances?
YES you been giving him many second chances that he's taking advantage of you

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dulce8nina answered Tuesday July 25 2006, 6:11 am:
ok first of all dont start to get to attatched because you never know when hes gonna do something like before(not trying to be a bitch or nothing you know!)but yeah and i think you should start getting involved in other things to sort of get your mind out of onlii your b/f...this will help so that hes not allways in your mind and just before you know it hell b with you again and you wouldnt have even stressed about him 1 bit=]

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BlondBritBrit answered Tuesday July 25 2006, 4:12 am:
Personally, I think that you shouldn't take him back, but that wasn't the question... so onto the question. With time you will star to trust him more. Let him go to parties or whatever without you. It will be hard for you while he is gone, but it will help soon enough (as long as he stays true to you when he's out). For example, my parents have strict rules on going to the mall. Whenever I go, I make sure I don't do anything to get me in trouble. I do this because everytime I go to the mall my parents let me stay there later than before because they know that they can trust me.
Also, take out a peice of paper and write down all the reasons why he wouldn't leave you for someone else.

Ex's and Oh's
-brittany

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Lola answered Tuesday July 25 2006, 2:49 am:
Hi,
You want real advice? i'll give you some.
First of all, every single word of advice is said from past experience.
Now, you said that you wear dating for 7 months and he treated you like gold and then he started losing interest in you and gaining interest in another girl. Does that sound like a true boyfriend? Does that sound like someone who really loves you and cares for you? Lost interest in you? That doesn't make any sense, because if he really did love you, then he would never lose interest. Because i know and i have heard of people who date for years and years, and only really tough problems stand in their way, but they never break up because one of them lost interest in the other.
Ofcourse, his honesty should be appreciated,but he hurt you after he made you love him like crazy all these months.
Second of all, after a week from that,when he probably had gone to that other girl and things hadn't worked out between them and she probably turned him down, thats when he came to you cry and knew how much it hurts to turn someone down and dump him, so he came back apologizing and begging for you to be with him again.
And then the rest of the story makes completely no sense, because he keeps hesitating ,and its just like he doesn't know if he loves you or not, and that i most definietely do not call a boyfriend. Because a boyfriend, should love you and care about you and be there with you and for you, but not lose interest in you and hesitate on whether to love you or not.
Third of all, i am telling you all this because there a certain something that always ruins out lives and we can't just see it except if someone points it out to us. Love is a good thing, but it sometimes blinds us to see the truth and the reality of things.
Now you love him and you are crazy about him, thats why you forgave him all these times and thats why you are still dating him, but you are also blinded by your love to him.
And do you want advice? do you want real advice? This person you are dating is not trust worthy and is really mean and broke your hurt alot and is practically hesitating whether to love you or not. so what would you tell a really really close person to you if she had that same boyfriend and he let her down all these times before? i am sure that you would say exactly what i just said. Because that is the truth and that is the right thing. I am not sure if i am telling you to break up with him, because that is up to you. But i am just telling you that because if he comes the next time and says that he lost interest in you ,you will regret that you ever forgave him about anything he did.
And i wouldn't be telling you this if i hadn't experienced it myself.
so goodluck and try really hard to consider what i said once and twice and maybe even three times, but think straight and think right, because you don't deserve to be treated like that, and you deserve for someone to love you and treasure you, because in just one situation, you made me the impression that you are the kindest person i have ever seen . And thats something really good, but use it right.

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FACEDOWN answered Tuesday July 25 2006, 2:20 am:
well, im 14. so i might not know.. butt..

alright i was going out with this guy mark right? we were absolutly PERFECT together. i loved him more than anything. but then one day he broke up with me. My heart like shattered. i wanted to die. i could of sworn i loved him. eventually i got over him. after we broke up he got in so many fights. but then one night we were in the biiggest fight and he said the funniest thing and we both were cracking up so we become best friends. and he told me he loved me and he never stoped he just was so confused at the time. so now were back together but his friends thought it would be cute if they called me and they told me mark wanted to break up. omgosh my heart shattered one more time. i actually thought about succide. then an hour later today mark calls me and he was like hey baby whats up and i was like uhh wait and i told him what happened and then he was like ohh no babby ill never break up with you and he got so pissed off at his friends.

do like whatever your heart says. im the happiest person ever. LISTEN TO YOUR HEART kayyy?

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