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It's in the past?
Well, my situation is as followed.
I have two best friends. One of which I dated, and we broke up. Now my other best friend whom is a girl, always thought my boyfriend was hot and lusted after him.
I trusted both of them completely, and not even a month after we broke up they had sex. Well, If one of them would of told me - it would of been nice but I found out thru HER ex boyfriend, and only because there was a pregnancy scare.
I feel betrayed because she promised she would never do anything with him, and I am still in love with him and she knew that when she did what she did.
He's away at basic in the army, and I had to deal with her. Her response was, "It's in the past, I cant do anything about it now." and her explanation for the event happening was that He started it, and she said (I quote) "I'm a ho, It's in my blood. Someone wants to hit this, I let them!"
I don't know how to deal with this situation. I didnt deck her like I wanted to, but I stayed over at her house and chilled that day because I wasn't sure how to react. Now she calls and I don't want to anwser her phone calls...how do I deal with this?
She seems to feel no remorse for it.. wants to be friends still..
But I know I can't just go on without having my say in it or else I will always feel bitter.
Yes it's in the past but the consequences are NOW.
I need help right away!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Talk to her more;
tell her that yer still in love with him.
and that you dont think you can forgive her yet.
it was a horrible thing for her to do. and yer not gonna put up with it.
maybe you should read a book or something to get yer mind off of it. and juss slowy let all of this go.
every moment that you spend mad, thats a minute of yer life you wont get back.
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Thats really harsh, and i think you are totally justified in ignoring her for the time being,
but then its not healthy to keep your feelings towards her bottled up for much longer, but that would just be silly for me to say calmly talk to her how you feel, although you could try?
But by being aggressive and hostile will make you feel better in the short term. but when you realise that they both are not worth it, you will feel worse.
at least you can appreciate it's in the past and that nothing you can do can change, which is really positive
if i were you though ,i would seriously question how good a friend she really is? and is she worth you making an effort towards her? and to be honest same goes with your ex. who quite conviently is away.....
take care and i hope it all works out for you
x
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Sorry to say this but:She deserves to have the cold shoulder from you.She had sex with your ex not even a month after you broke up,and that's just not right.No one's reason should be,"I'm a ho,it's in my blood.Someone wants to hit this,I let them!"That's just foolish,and dumb.This girl shouldn't even be considered a friend.You should definatly talk your "friend" about this.Tell her how you feel about it,and everything else.
-Lady M♥
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Hey,
I know what your going through.And oh my god! isn't that really cruel and mean from her.
First of all, the person who betrays who and goes and has sex with your own ex boyfriend whom you just broke up with, then you most definitely can't call her a best friend or even a friend. And as a matter of fact, you can't even look at her anymore without spitting on her face when she passes by and tell her " what a horrible disgusting friend you are, bitch" and honestly, thats the only thing you have to tell her. Other than that, the friendship between you is over.Because you don't waste your time being with such a person, loving and caring and trusting her and being their for her, and laughing and gossiping and sharing smiles and jokes, because at the end, she just goes and sleeps with your ex boyfriend. That is such a bitchy and low act. So the next time, she calls you thinking that everything would have probably cooled down by name, you can and you should pick up the phone and tell her exactly what i told you to say,and then hang up the phone even if its in her face. Because thats it, you have to draw a line to that friendship, because i may not know you or anything about you, but i've read alot in your problem to know that you are the most caring and loving and considerate person, and that you don't desreve to be treated like shit from a low bitch like her. And i am sorry i am saying this all about her, but she deserves it, and if you really sat and thought about all what happened, you'd know that i'm right about every word i've said about her.
Finally, if you need any further advice or help, then please be free to contact me.
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Your friend really messed up. She put the chance to have apparently meaningless sex with YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND ahead of your friendship with her. Instead of apoligizing and letting the guilt get a hold of her, she gives you a lame explanation like, "I'm a ho, if someone wants to hit this I let them." !!! Did she really think thats all she had to say? That your feelings weren't even worth a heartfelt discussion? I mean, you broke up, he wasn't your property, and yeah, there's the code of girls, friends, decent human beings that you don't go after your friends exes, at least until all wounds are healed, you know, but things do happen. I understand that. I also understand that once they're done, they're "in the past" and you "can't undo them". I can't believe she patronized you even further by saying that! And tries to excuse her behavior by saying "its in my blood." What?!?! Shock and awe. Where's her self-respect? Is there a possibility that he was all she was after the whole time? That she used your friendship to get next to him? If so, I wouldn't have anything further to do with her. If not, tell her you want to talk about what happened. Don't let her blow you off with all her "I'm a ho, I'm a ho, I can't stop whats in my blood" idiocy. Tell her it hurt you to think she could betray your trust like that for a one night stand. And that it hurts even more that she could just shrug it off. Tell her you're angry. You might even not want to hang out with her for a while, because you probably need the time to be upset. Things happen, maybe they'll get together again, and you'll have to stand by and watch, but friends don't ignore each other's feelings. They at least have enough respect for each other to talk and be there for one another.
She's in the state of mind that she can do whatever she wants, hurt whoever she wants, and that everyone should understand and feel sorry for her because "its in her blood" and its excused. As if she has no control. Thats crazy. You can rise above what you're expected to be, and become more, better. She's not strong and has no pride in herself (sounds cliched out, but really sucks when you think about it). So yeah, you can feel sorry for her, I know I do, but you do not have to understand or accept her behavior. Hope it works out for the best.
Peace,
Shade
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You need to talk to her about it, REALLY express how your feeling. You are being too content with your feelings right now, and soon it will really build up! She really betrayed you and doesnt feel sorry about it, so you have to let her know that if she cant act like a real friend, then your friendship isnt worth anything. If when you talk to her she just gets mad at you, then she isnt worth your friendship. As far as the boy goes, it seems he has moved on, but if they had sex that quick, then he probably doesnt love her.. if you know what I mean. So find yourself some one new, or you could wait until your two best friends break up and see if he is interested in going back out with you. But meanwhile, find some one else, because in the end.. this boy probably isnt even worth your time and energy anymore!
hope this helps :)
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If I were you I would be finding myself a new best friend. A best friend is supposed to be someone you trust if she is going to be like that then she isn't a true friend. You shouldn't have to deal with it anymore.
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That was really low, youshould let her know exactly how you feel and you dont think yo ucan be friends anymore because that hurt you! Tell her she should have thought about you and her actions for once, instead of being a ho and not controlling herself.
But if not, put it in the past.. and maybe you two can be friends again
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