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Guys and Abstinence.
I believe in abstinence, which is not having sex until you are married. I was just wondering how many guys would dump a girl who wouldnt have sex with him if they were going out? Guys tell me if you would dump me.
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Virginity?
The key is to seek guys who have the same morals that you do. Don't go out with a guy who talks about all the sex he's had (he is most likely a virgin, but that is because he is a loser, not moral) and whose pick up line is something like "I can't wait to put my hands in your underwear and grab your boobs and knock you up." And don't be fooled, either. This guy could very well be the neatly dressed quiet guy in the library. It works the other way, too: the guy in the black trenchcoat wearing eyeliner and a dog collar could be saving himself for marriage as well. The way you find out about a guy's morals is by talking to him. Don't become committed to a relationship and THEN explain that you are saving yourself. When you first get to know the guy, even before you go on a date actually, tell him what you believe and he will most likely say whether he agrees or disagrees. Even if he doesn't agree (for example, he may have already had sex), if he is a good guy he will respect you and your decision. The guys who will dump you over something like this are the shallow, immature ones.
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There's about 50-50. there's guys out there who want someone who are a virgin and some who don't they want someone who has lost there virginity. But for you, don't let guys push you into something that you don't want to do. If they really care about you they would care about what you beleive in. Hope I helped.
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I know guys that would and I know guys that wouldn't. If a guy dumps you because you won't have sex, that's pretty lame and he definitely isn't worth it. You will find a guy that will respect your values and morals someday.
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I personaly dont belive abstinence can be healthy. It is too unnatural. No animals have sexual abstinence. I think its a bit weird. Against nature. But if youre happy with it then do it. Hope you find right guy.
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Well its really about 50-50 I would say. I wouldnt personally, but I have a number of friends that would dump you in a heartbeat.
The whole oral sex thing might save some relationships but lets be serious, thats just a really cheap way to compromise your morals.
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This is a tough one and it's the cause of so many problems in relationships. Yes there are guys out there that "just want sex", but not all guys that may try to talking you into it have the wrong intentions. Sometimes a guy (or girl) may get the feeling like the relationship is...stuck. They want the relationship to grow and progress and they get anxious to take the next step with the other person. They want to get closer and bring the relationship to the next level because they want it to last. A relationship that is "stuck" or at a standstill, for whatever reason, may cause a guy to have doubts about it. Now, I know that you, being a firm believer in abstinance, know how much emotional strain that sex can put on a relationship. Relationships shouldn't be or become solely physical. Waiting for marriage prevents things you may regret and it's a very honorable thing that you don't see much of nowadays to want to be completely committed to someone before sharing something so special as sex with them. I, myself have made the decision to abstain until marriage for lots of reasons and I respect you a lot for what you're doing. One thing you should keep in mind though is, how abstinant are you being? Many people have different interpretations of abstinance and virginity. I noticed that a columnist before me mentioned oral sex. As offensive as it may have seemed it's a very serious and good point. Oral sex is not sexual intercourse as are a number of other sexual practices. You can have a sexual relationship with someone and still keep your virginity intact for when you get married. I think that if you were in a relationship with someone you thought had a lot of potential to be with you for a very long time, that you trusted, but they wanted a sexual relationship with you, you should consider compromising with them. I'm not saying throw away all your beliefs and I'm not saying to agree to a sexual relationship before marriage. I'm just saying consider it. You could lose someone that you could have been very happy in life with if they think that your abstinance means that you are insecure and aren't sure about the relationship. They would think you had doubts so they would have doubts too. People will say "well if he cares about you it wouldn't matter". Sometimes it does. Again, don't give up your beliefs, just think about it. It wouldn't matter if you told the guy you had doubts, sometimes the person that has them doesn't realize it or won't admit it to themselves and he'd think that was what was happening. No matter what you say, sometimes, that's just how abstinance is interpreted. Is it wrong to interpret it that way? No, not really. The main or at least one of the reasons for abstinance is to save yourself for one person. That's insecurity in a way. Everyone is insecure, some people deal with it differently than others. Neither way is bad, just a way that people are different. Back to compromise. You could do sexual things for him and have nothing done to yourself even. It is all up to you no matter what though. Never do something you don't want to and please do not think I am trying to convince you to. To your actual question. There are a lot of guys out there that wouldn't dump you. There are also a lot that would. If you were willing to do those other sexual things, just not intercourse, and a guy dumped you, that's his problem and 90% of the time that means he "just wants sex". The other 10 meaning that he respects your beliefs very much, but just cannot be in a relationship without sex (just like you can't be in one with). If you are really into not doing anything sexual at all, find a guy that believes the same or at least in abstinance. Make sure that any guy you enter a relationship with knows about your beliefs somewhat early in the relationship. There are lots of guys out there that you could end up with and there are more guys out there than you think that do believe in abstinance. My boyfriend belives in abstinance and actually helped me form my own belief in it. So, my advice is to decide what your definition of abstinance is and try to find a guy whose beliefs in the matter are very close to yours. I may not be a guy, but my guy wouldn't dump you :)
I sincerely hope I helped you and good luck.
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Stick for what you believe in. Don't give in for a guy. There's one out there who will respect your beliefs, and share them too!
I only really have two guy friends.. one is my boyfriend.
My boyfriend would dump me if I tried to have sex with him -- which, since I believe in abstinence, I wouldn't do -- but you get the idea. He appreciates it that I don't want to have sex, and I appreciate it that he doesn't want to either. [Doesn't want to = until after marriage]
My best friend is also a guy. Hahah... There's no way that he'd even consider having sex with his girlfriend. He's fourteen and not allowed to think about having a girlfriend. Maybe when he's sixteen he'll get the girl, but then he might be afraid to do anything more than hold her hand / hug her. Which is perfect.
There's a guy who will suit your needs.
Don't wait for the one you can live with, wait for the one you can't live without.
-FunnyCide
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stick to your beliefs. that's what i did.
i know my guy friends would never do that to a girl because they respect girls and actually care.
my last boyfriend did care and love me, but he broke up with me because i didn't want to go as far as he wanted to. so, yes, it does happen and it is hard, but dont give in because here is the good news.
i now have an even more amazing boyfriend who knows why my last one broke up with me, so he obviously is not just interested in that and understands. he's everything i've ever wanted. hold on to what you believe in and you will find someone perfect for you, not someone you have to make major compromises for (ie. having sex).
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A lot of guys are different and they belive in different thing. Some horny guys might break up with a girl for that, some guys will respect that. I asked a couple of my guy friends on this and this is their opinion.
Dave: I wouldn't even if it was a serious relationship. I wouldn't force the girl I like/love to do it until they want to.
Luke: No.
Dylan: I don't know. Depends if she was down with giving head. < Not very loyal lol
Jeff: It all depends. If we did other stuff then no I wouldn't break up with her.
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Some guys are assholes and expect to get sex. I myself love a girl who is clean and knows how to say no. I dated my girlfriend for over a year before we got sexualy involved. I was her first and we had sex only when she felt she wanted to lose her virginity with me, not once did i demand things that i knew of the bat she wasent interested in.
If a guy dumps you because you wont sleep with him..than that tells you that he wasent worth it, and u are better off.
Take it from me, guys will love and respect you more if you wait.
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You believe what you believe and different guys believe what they believe. Depends upon the guy and what his attitude is. Personally I would not because I think that its very wrong and unfair, but its a tough question to ask because every guy is different.
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I personaly wouldnt, but some guys would. It also depends on how you define sex, if you catch my drift. Your best bet is to talk to the guy before hand about how far you are willing to take it. dont just drop the bomb on him two weeks into the relationship
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