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Weird Housemate
I basically just want to know what people think about this and whether I'm the one with the problem! Last night my male housemate asked me if i wanted to watch a film so i agreed even though it was about 11.30pm as i couldn't think of anything else to do. I started falling asleep in front of it and then waking up and not understanding what was going on so i decided to go to bed and i told him that. So he started saying how the evening had started off really well and now it had been spoilt and how i had agreed to watch it with him and i was breaking my promise. He kept sighing and just acting really unreasonably and going really quiet and pissed off. So i just went upstairs and told my other female housemate that i was not going to be made to feel guilty about not watching a film because its ridiculous. So he came upstairs and started yelling at me so i yelled back and it got totally out of control especially as all this is over a film!! So then he said that no one had ever upset him to this extent before and how he used to feel comfortable living in the house and now he won't anymore. Then i decided to go and talk to him because i dont like going to bed in the middle of an argument. He was just like don't worry i forgive you. So now its my fault!! WTF?? then he went and stayed at his friends house because he didnt want to sleep in the house cos of what happened. Does anyone else think this is strange? Or is it all my fault as he seems to think? I know maybe i shouldnt have yelled back but it really upset me! Thanks guys.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If you were sleepy then you were sleepy.I mean my goodness.He seems way too uptight.You can always watch the movie later.Just don't let him get to your head.
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Sounds Like he fancies you and there is something stopping him from making a move such as a boyfriend or he know that you like someone else.
Have you known him long he is getting frustrated because he wants what he can't have.
I expect the point of the movie was to get close to you where you sitting next to him.He wantes to tell you how he feels but worrys what will happen to your friend ship.
him goin to his friends to you off his mind for a short time because when ever he is with you it reminds him that he can't have you.
I know from experience i cant think of anything more painful.
What ever you do don't let it spoil your friendship as i did and lost a friend for the last couple of years
try and talk to him and try to get him to admit it in his own time don't posh.
if you have got a boyfriend try not to rub it in the last thing he wants to here is how much fun you have with your boyfriend or here you with him.
try not to walk around undies or anything that might aggitate him more
And when you do talk to him dont get to close could make things worse such as your about to announce your love for him.
if you talk you can sort most things out he probs just wants to be loved
sorry about wittering on
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I would have defently yelled back. he shouldn't have been so mad just because you got tired, you can't help that. It defently seems odd that he would get so upset. I honestly wouldn't get to angry with him. Mabye he just was in an odd mood and he just needed to work it out of his system. shouldn't have to forgive someone for getting tired. and why would he be uncomfertable with sleeping there just because you didn't want to watch a movie with him.
sounds odd, i think you were fine on what you did!
~blackstar~
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I think someone has a big crush on you.
He wanted to spend time with you. You "spoilt it" by going to bed.
I think you need to have a talk with him and get to the bottom of what is really going on with him.
It is a bit weird. Esopecially if he doesn't have a crush. I think he does though. :)
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It sounds to me like he has feelings for you and doesn't know how to go about it. Watching the movie together might have been his way of trying to get close to you, to gauge your responses to him in a quiet setting or maybe he had other things on his mind and it didn't turn out the way he must have envisioned it would when he put the plan together. Why didn't he ask your other roommate to watch the movie as well if it was just an innocent thing?? He may tell you that he has no feelings for you but, in order to react that way to a film and someone who is JUST YOUR FRIEND falling asleep on it means that he either is confused about his feelings or that this must have been some GREAT film that he must have been starring in or something. Be careful for his overreaction was truely, (sorry for this) a 'girlie" way to react. Have you and he ever had any intimate moments?? Has he ever flirted with you or mistook any actions from you towards him as flirting, even if you didn't mean it as such?? Has he ever made a comment to the affect of you being a flirt?? To go to the extreme of not sleeping in a house that he is paying a portion of the rent on is out of control. Married people who may have had an extreme fight may decide not to sleep in the same house, not roomates who watch movies together. He also asked you to watch a movie at 11:30p.m...isn't that alittle late to start a movie if all you wanted to do was watch it?? Did he have to get it back to the video store by 8:00 a.m. or else?? That was very mature of you to try to put the situation to rest before retiring for the evening but when he said "Oh, I forgive you" and then left, makes me feel as if he may try to use the "hurt feelings" routine later on down the line with you to his advantage. Making you feel uncomfortable may, in his mind, bring you closer to being nicer to him later on. I may be totlally off base with this, but I am willing to bet that I'm not. Let me know how it all turns out!!!
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If everything happed exactly how you explained it then it is strange. It sounds like he was trying to strike up an argument with you. Is there something that he's been wanting of you that you have not wanted to be,do,say,etc... Have you two argued recently and you won the argument? There’s just no overt reason for his behavior unless he has an ulterior motive. He wants you to be guilty so you will feel obligated to do, say, agree, be on his side, etc…In other words, he is being very manipulative. Or, it could also be a symptom of a disorder called Borderline Personality disorder. These people have a habit of accusing people of doing things that are untrue. They live in a delusional perception. If this is the case, he really believes what he is saying. He thinks you’ve wronged him and there will be nothing you can do or say that will change his opinion.. He had a vision of how things were to go and you didn’t tow the line, so to speak. There other symptoms of this disorder, like, irrational behavior (which last night falls into). They go off the handle over the littlest things. Out of the blue you are in trouble for something that makes no sense (like last night). If this becomes habitual you may want to look the disorder up on the internet and investigate how you can cope with it. For the most part it is incurable because these people will never admit they have a problem and it is always someone else’s fault. They never take responsibility for their behavior. It boils down to…this behavior of his was uncalled for and inappropriate. Don’t let him push you around and don’t fall for his shenanigans. Stick up for yourself but do it with a calm and even voice. Don’t let yourself be drawn into what could be taken as an argumentative tone. They are good about turning things around on you and if you can keep your head and remain calm this will be very difficult for him to do.
Good Luck!
LULABELLE
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You didnt deserve to be treated like that especially over a movie. If your tired then you should go to sleep you shouldnt have to stay up all night just b/c he wants you to.I bet that if you werent tired you would have watched the rest of the movie. The best thing is to dump him b/c what if it was a serious argument. If he gets mad over you going to bed b/c you are tired then i cant imagine what he would do if you did something worse. I think that you deserve someone who respects you and your decisions. Someone who supports you in everything. It is definitely not your fault so dont even think that. Maybe something else was wrong with him and he took something small and made it a big deal. When something happens in someones life and they dont know how to deal with it they use other tings to get their anger out.
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I would have reacted the same way. It was a movie, it is not as if he invited you to the most important event in his life and you slept through it. My question to you is... Has he been unstable before? (I used to live with a dude...just him, myself, and two other women... he got pretty psycho. He did alot of things for attention. Bad...things...) There has to be some underlying reason for him to freak out as he did. Something is bothering him and he has either not said anything, or is unwilling to do so. Don't let things go...you need to get it all straightened out. Don't let him blame you for being tired. That is just dumb. He - plain and simple - overreacted. He may try to justify it, but he probably doesn't want to look foolish (It really isn't that bad once you get used to it...I should know. Heh.)
If things continue the way they are, you may want to suggest him finding a new place. Don't let things keep getting more strange. I did, and my friends and I paid the price for it.
----I want to make sure that I say that I don't know your man friend. He probably isn't psycho and he is just looking for attention. He may also be feeling left out. If you and your other female housemate talk or do things together often, he may feel that he is the odd one out. That could also explain his quick anger and being upset about something as stupid as this is.
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