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Is it worth it?
So I'm a 17 year old girl and my boyfriend is a wee bit older. He's 25.
We've been going out for about a month and he's a great guy to me - he buys everything (not just dinner, like he asks if there's anything I want in stores etc.), he opens doors, he always says the kindest things to me, and yes he's great in the bedroom.
But I've just been wondering lately if this is the best time for me to date someone his age. He's so perfect but it's kind of difficult when I get the weird looks from friends and classmates about dating an older guy. He hasn't met my friends yet and I don't even know if his friends know about me. The whole age thing is just kind of throwing me for a loop.
So, do you think I should keep pursuing this relationship with the chance of getting hurt or just let it go for now with such big differences?
P.S. Remember that I'm only a senior in high school, still dealing with stuff like homecoming and prom. He's already out in the working world...it's a tough choice...
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First Answer:I know a lot about this subject because I'm 26 and my husband (of 4 years) is 48. However, I was 22 when we met and you may not realise it now, but there is a Huge difference between being a teenager and a young adult. When you are 25 you will realise how much you and your life has changed since you were 17. I would be suspicious of a 25 year old man who dates a 17 year old girl, I would think that there is something lacking in him that prevents him from engaging with older women, or maybe he has control issues, as in, he doesnt like being challenged and is insecure. I think it is important to experience the life that surrounds you, be a part of the social scene with your peers, you have the rest of your life to engage in 'mature' relationships.
Reply to Rating: Im sorry, I didnt mean to patronise you, I would say the difference is that when my husband and I got together I had dated many different people and had had lots of experiences like going to college in another state, living and working away from home, traveling to europe etc. When your 17 you should have fun and not grow up too fast-that's what I meant to say, sorry if I came across as being too judgemental. Best of Luck!
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wut ur doing is illegal, when your 18 you can have a boyfrind that is like 80 years old or however old, but anyone younger than 18 is not allowed to go out with a guy that's like 8 years older than you. im not trying to be mean or anything,respond
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deff keep on goin it sounds like u truley love him!
*n and d
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It seems like you two are really in love with each other. I think you should stay with him and introduce him to your friends and maybe he will introduce you to his friends and family. If they don't understand or make fun of you or say shit behind your back then they aren't your real friends. do what makes you happy. If you really love him like it seems you do then stay with him age shouldn't matter but if you want to end it because of what people say about the age difference then you will probably regret it because of how he treats you great and he loves and cares about you and obviously you feel the same about him. Good luck.
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Age its just a number.But let me tell you something i dated a older guy like you and he was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! on bed but you know they are so courteus because of the experience in every way.Be careful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! answer back to me please
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OK, you can get hurt with a guy your age so lets forget that one.
He is quite a bit older.
Right now, and if you go on to college, you basically live in two totally different worlds. That in itself can be trouble. You have prom and all that good stuff and hes been there done that.
He has bills to pay and payments to make and that's something you really haven't had to deal with yet.
However, that doesn't mean it isn't possible to have a relationship. It just may mean passing up some of the things you may have looked forward to if he doesn't want to participate.
Make a list of pros and cons and see which column is bigger. That could help you decide. You are the one who has to decide in the end. My vote will be for you to find someone closer to your own age, just because I think it will be more fun for you. Keeping in mind I don't know your boyfriend. :)
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I know you're probably not going to like the advice that I'm about to give you, but here it is:
I think you should maybe take a break from seeing this guy, at least until you finish high school. Like you said, you're still in the world where what dress you wear to prom is the most important thing on your mind.. and he's got a job and probably his own place, and probably is fully independent. I've dated guys that age before, and it never ususally ends the way I want it to.... You and your boyfriend are at different phases in your life, and they're not really ones that go together very well. What I advise you to do is to take a break, like I said before, and maybe get back together once you've graduated from high school. Because if you both really want to only be with each other.. the 5 month wait won't make much of a difference in the long run.
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I think 17 and 25 is no good. I mean, think about it, when you're able to drink, he'll be almost 30. You should be living it up with guys your age, who also only have to worry about which person they're taking to prom, instead of getting that big promotion at work. However, if you think it will work, then continue it.
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If you really love this guy it shouldn't matter to you,don't let go of him I mean it's really hard to find a guy like him,age shouldn't matter either.From what you said he is in love opening doors for you,treating you like a queen.Every girl would love to have that form their guy but that's not the most important thing what is the most important thing is that he cares for you,that you too give one another respect,love one another as well.Give the guy a chance,if this guy is just someone you like,things are to tough for you to handle then you should probably not be in this relationship anymore,find someone who is like your age which is better.So think about this you don't have to make a decision right away take your time but don't take too long to make a decision.
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yea this is kindof a tough one.it is true that the age difference isa weird to your friends, but after a while you have to start thinking about your feelings and forget about them.im not saying to just blow them off but if you like someone, then you like them.nobody else can stop you from feeling them.so i say go for it at the end of the day age aint nothing but a number.so do your thang and follow your heart
Hope i helped
Delilah
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Right now age is important. You are both at different stages in your lives.
Things would be alot better if you were maybe 21 and he was 29. Nothing against you, but why isnt he with some1 closer to his age? Think about that 1. Somethings just not right about him that he is interested in some1 8 yrs younger.
Are your parents ok with this relationship?
Hopefully hes not being Mr. nice guy to get in your pants somewhere down the road.
Id take things very cautiously, with your eyes wide open.
Dont do anything if your having doubts about!
Good Luck!!
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I think that if you're so unsure about this relationship, you're obviously having doubts. So, I say you should listen to your intuition. He does sound like a great guy, but at this point in your life those eight years make a HUGE difference, but in ten years from now they won't, because you'll be out of school, working, and looking for someone to settle down with.
Things will work out if you just follow your intuition (how cheesy)
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The last sentence is the reason why you shouldn't be with him. You're a minor in high school, and hes been an adult for over 5 years! I know you feel old enough to date him right now, but its still too far apart for your age. He is in a very different place in his life, and you're a high school student. I know you want me to tell you its alright to be with him and that you should ignore what other people think, but I am telling you, its not going to work when you're only 17. Every couples have their share of differences, but these are way too many in differences.
-TheTeenGirl
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