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sitting alone at lunch
So we just started school back up this Tuesday and I like it just fine. But the only problem is that I don't have any friends. And I sit alone at lunch, and all the kids look at me like "OMG what a loser.." I actually heard some kid behind me say to one of his friends about "oh look at the girl sitting by herself" and he laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world.
I am a very shy person, and I have actually tried to go up to a few people and ask if I can sit with them. They say yes but don't talk to me and make me feel really uncomfortable around them so it's pointless to sit with them. I have contemplated just going to sit in the bathroom or library at lunch.
But the only problem with that is I have to eat during lunch, because if I don't, when I come home I'll eat alot. My mom and I get food stamps and every month they lower the price so I can't eat all the food. What do I do? Do I just suck it up and sit by myself everyday? Or do I just not eat so much? Please help! I will rate!
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Feeling Lonely is hard...but everyone has their time of loneliness. Facing these difficult times gives you an inner strength you will draw on during more challenging times in your life. God uses our situations to make us strong for our future and although you may feel alone you must remember...or at least try...that you have someone who loves you so much sitting right next to you in that lunch room...or wherever you find yourself feeling lonely. Jesus Christ is your best friend in this world. He gives hope when things feel hopeless. :)
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wow that is really sad.ive never actully been in your situation but mayb i CAN help you.in this situation there really is no need to tell a parent or something.many kids are just mean to knew kids bcuz they are shy enough them selfs!!But dont go up to them and ask you already know they such jerks.you are going to have to try and be friends with some1.try to find some one who is also shy.i know its really scary to just go up to someone and say hi im ____.just start off buy saying hi.if they dont even look up and smile they are either deaf or just plaine RUDE once they say hi say hi im__ start saying things like so are you new here then youll catch yourself having a conversasion g.luck gabby
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gosh. kids are mean.
that's why i'm not one to judge before hand. you don't know what baggage people pack around with them.
-- i guess i don't really understand the whole thing about either you talk to people and not eat, or you eat and not talk to anyone. why can't you talk AND eat ? people are dumb if they don't eat lunch. and it makes it even better because you all can share food and stuff. you're NOT cool if you don't eat. just think of it that way.
try to involve yourself in the conversation, or start one of your own. talk about the cool show you saw on tv last night, or about how hard your math test was. or gossip. as bad as that sounds, it always drags people in.
just be yourself.
okay bye, have a nice day :)
<33 jessica
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Wow. This is so simple. Go to a table, and ask someone if you can sit with them. Or just inrtoduce yourself. Duhhh.....And just eat alot at school especially if you get free lunches. Yum Yum!
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They probably think you ARE a loser..haha...
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I think that starting school is hard and making friends doesn't always come easily. Be your self around people and be honest. Ask people if you can sit with them and try to keep the conversation flowing. Try to find someone who is in most of your classes and sit next to them. Try to go to someone who is also sitting alone... Try some of this and then keep writing if you have anymore problems. But try not to let yourself down and don't sit alone. Try not to avoid eating in the lunch room.
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Starting at a new school can be difficult, but it's one of the things that happens to everybody. I'm presuming you're in America, or somewhere, because I don't know of anywhere else that has food stamps. American schools sound like they're a lot more hostile than Australian ones, and so you might not want to listen to some of the things I suggest if you think they're a little off the wall.
Sitting by yourself doesn't make you a loser, and I think you know that, otherwise you probably would've thrown yourself desperately at the neediest clique or clan in the school just for company.
I'm also a very shy person, and so I hope that it makes it less patronising if I say that I understand how you feel about sitting alone. I do it sometimes, but I find it sort of nice not to have constant noise around me - use the time to think about stuff.
"I actually heard some kid behind me say to one of his friends about "oh look at the girl sitting by herself" and he laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world"
Kids like that are just jerks, it's that simple. They may be popular, but underneath everything they have the biggest inferiority complex in the world. That's why they have to make fun of other people at every opportunity they get, because it makes them feel better. There are two ways you can get around this. Understand that they are morons, and don't let them get to you, or show them what a nice person you are, and make them guilty about being nasty to you. If the same guy says it again (And it's going to take a little bit of worked up guts, that I hope you have); invite him to join you. Odds are he could even have a crush on you.
Don't sit in the bathroom to eat your lunch, please, I just don't like to think of you feeling that degraded. There are always other kids who feel the same way that you do. You should take a walk around the place, and try to find somebody else sitting on their own, or pacing around the corridors like you. When you find them, ask if they would mind you sitting with them, it's a whole lot easier when there's only one person around. If it's quiet, it's their fault too ^.- , and maybe it will be easier to talk with them.
Food stamps sound like such a drag. I'm not absolutely sure what you're saying about them, because in your question it sounds like your parents are feeding you less and less every month (or maybe the value of the stamps is going down). Whatever happens, you shouldn't sacrifice your health, and that means eating enough (At least, enough of the right food). Don't let it get you down, because once you start to go down, it's a HELL of a lot harder to pick yourself up - and that's what you'd have to do, because it doesn't sound like there are too many good samaritans around.
If you find a group of people who you really want to know, but they don't talk to you, just sit there. It's a lot better to be sitting there like a brick, listening to them talk than sitting by yourself. Nobody will make smart-ass comments about you sitting by yourself (and if the group starts talking about you, either stick up for yourself, or never go back) If the group is generally receptive to you, and keeps on talking as if you're not there, but aren't rude to you, try to include yourself in their conversation every once in a while. If they're talking about something you know, add your bit, maybe they'll start to ask you stuff or at least acknowledge you're there.
From your question, you sound like the kind of girl that people should be dying to talk to at lunch, and if they aren't then you should show them what they're missing out on. If you want to bounce ideas off me any time, email me@sadloser.com .
Best wishes
-K
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You definitely need to eat your lunch. I found a site that has really good tips for shy people. See if there is anything useful here you can use to help you strike up some conversations.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I really think you'll find some useful stuff on those sites. Let me know if they are helpful. :)
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Hey!!! The best thing to do is to not be shy. Being shy stops you from reaching possible opportunites out there, and noone will really know how you feel if you are shy. So don't be shy...You can get together with people you talk to during class and hangout during lunch. Don't be afraid to just be yourself and open up because the people who don't like it don't matter and the people who do, are the ones who do. =D Also, you can join clubs, and through them you can meet people who share the same interests as you. So don't be afraid of being yourself,because of what others might think. I really hope it works out, and if you need anything you can contact me through the inbox! Good luck!!!
<3, normie
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However uncomfortable it may feel, you really need to try and communicate with other people. Even the ones that don't talk back. You have to get involved in the conversation. Talk about something that you know that they might be talking about. Know what's going on with such and such and talk about it but don't talk about people behind there backs b/c that can cause you to get beat down. You're going to have to go out there but you don't need to go out there too strong. Try to communicate with others even if it seems like it fails. YOu must always try even when it seems like it isn't working. It's very important and just how important you shall later on see.Everyone needs a friend.
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Well dont start not eating,
just see if there is anyone else sitting alone
and sit with them!
give it another few weeks, youll make friends, i promise
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I'm pretty much going through the same exact thing you are. I wasn't ever a loner before, I never sat by myself, I had my own group. But, I'm starting a brand new school, and I'm so negative about it, like I'm thinking of different things to do at lunch, instead of just sitting there looking clueless. I'm EXTREMELY shy, and I don't like talking to people that I don't really know, which is going to suck especially because I'm starting a new school, but. I'm just going to wait for people to actually come up to me and talk to me, that's how it basically is with me =)
Is there anyone else around you, that eats alone as well? There must be, they might be feeling exactly the same way you are feeling. I try & look at it positively though, maybe when I start school, there'll be someone exactly like me, who just started & maybe we could start being friends.
I give you big time props though, for actually asking people if you can sit with them at lunch. I don't have the guts to actually do that, I'd be WAY to scared, because, they might turn around behind my back, and say to their other friends, "Gay, what is she doing sitting with us?"
I think you should definitely keep up asking people if you can sit with them, the only way that you could become comfortable is if you join in on conversation by talking with them about stuff.
I would seriously love to talk to you, because, you are my idol. lol! It's really cool how you can still go up to people and ask them to sit with them, that's AWESOME. I seriously think your awesome, lol. So if you want you can im me =) So we can talk!! [REMOVED] Well I'll hopefully talk to you soon!
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Just Try to join In on their covos. Or ask them about them selfs people love to talk about them sleves for like for example ask them what they did over the weekend or how they are. Or maybe even if your talking about homework or school offer to do home work or projects together with someone You have classes with then you'll start a friendship with a least one or two people.
Hope this you.
That totally sucks ihope it all works out.
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Hi. Well asking people if you could sit with them is a great start. Now, what you should do is listen to their conversation and see if you can jump in. If they are talking about a movie they have all seen say something like "oh, I've seen that movie! Leonardo De Caprio was really cute in it!" Basically observe their conversationa nd jump in at an apprpriate time and make yourself interesting so they will ask you to sit with them when you're not sitting with them. If they are really into celebrities and that kind of thing why not buy a magazine and take it there during lunch and then they will start asking if they can see it wit you and it will start a conversation. This will create a bond. If you see any of those boys/girls in class or in the hallway be polite, say hello to them. Or you can start talking to people in your class before lunch and then when the bell rings to go to lunch ask them if you can sit with them and talk to them on the way to the lunch area. I really hope it works out for you. I myself have been in that situation once or twice and I know it's pretty awkward.
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