My name is stephanie, and I bhave beeen dating my boyfriend for a month now.But here's the twist! My BF(Chris)asked me to hsve sex with him after a band dance. I told him no, b/c I'm not ready to sexualy active just yet! Unexpectingly he said ok I'll respect that b/c I love. I figured that excuse would by me time, and it did! But now he wants more reasons as to why I can't have sex with him. But see what gets me is is that he's telling me he wants to have sex, but when I say no he's ok with what I decide, but he asks repeating , but never makes any kind of action leading to sex. I'm confused! WHY IS HE GIVING ME MIXED SIGNALS?
icey0990 answered Thursday June 2 2005, 9:36 pm: ok...he figures he will play mr nice guy when you say no to make it seem like hes ok with it..but really hes not becaiuse he keeps asking! hes using the strategy of pretending like he cares..but continuing to bring it up, hoping you will give in! dont make the hugest mistake ever and do it just to satisfy him..sex is the only thing on his mind right now, and if i were you i would consider breaking up with him...because what kind of good relationship has a bf pressuring his girl to have sex? he KNOWS your not ready...you said no once, thats all it should take..yet he keeps asking. it doesnt matter that he makes no action towards sex..its the fact that he repeatedly brrings it up, hoping for u to givve in...
he wants reasons why??? no reasons are needed! your not ready and thats the bottom line! the two of you are not on the same page,..he wants a sexual relationship and you dont...so unless he understands real fast that its not happening...i would break up with him.
Love is understanding that someone isnt ready to have sex yet...its not demanding for reasons why you dont want to do it..and its certainly not pressuring your partner (yes, hes pressuring by continuing to bring it up)
xxfilmingfrenzyxx answered Thursday June 2 2005, 3:59 pm: The point is that he loves you enough to want to have that kinda relationship with you but can wait also because he loves you. He loves you and is waiting because he hasen't made a move yet. So i say everything is fine and that when you're ready he'll be waiting.
Hope i helped. Leave me a message if you have any other questions.
karenR answered Thursday June 2 2005, 3:42 pm: Sounds to me as if he is just asking why you don't feel that your ready, probably hoping to help you feel ready! Just tell him you want to wait until you are older. Then maybe he won't feel the need to fix anything. He is just eager. He cares or he would be putting on the pressure...that is a good thing! :) [ karenR's advice column | Ask karenR A Question ]
*ashlee* answered Thursday June 2 2005, 3:19 pm: hes not. he doesnt want to force you into it, hes just hoping that by the next time he asks you'll have changed your mind. [ *ashlee*'s advice column | Ask *ashlee* A Question ]
babyB answered Thursday June 2 2005, 3:15 pm: What it sounds like to me is that he really loves you. He's telling you that he wants to have sex but if you don't want to he's fine with that,right? but what i think is on his mind is he's going to tell you he loves you, so that you fall in love with him, and eventually cave to his desires, tell him if he really loves you, he'll quit asking. [ babyB's advice column | Ask babyB A Question ]
lilaquidas18 answered Thursday June 2 2005, 2:41 pm: Just tell him that you are not ready to have sex and that everytime he keeps asking you that it bothers you. Tell him that when you are ready to have sex then you will tell him.. FOr him not to rush you. Dont let any guy make you do something that you are not ready to do.Hope I helped. [ lilaquidas18's advice column | Ask lilaquidas18 A Question ]
friend2all answered Thursday June 2 2005, 2:05 pm: you have to clearly and firmly tell him NO and explain that your not ready if he continuely does this after u told him take a look at ur realtionship and if it is a friendship aND YOU DO HAVE THINGS IN COMMON AND SHARE THEM respect yourself and dont do anything to try and keep him sexual your worth more then that [ friend2all's advice column | Ask friend2all A Question ]
storageanddisposal answered Thursday June 2 2005, 11:59 am: Yeah, give him a firm no. Guys are horny, it's science. If him saying he respects your wishes because he loves you, you don't know guys very well. If he wants more reasons, he's desperate for sex. If he says he respects your wishes to wait because he "loves you", then turns around and requests sex again, it's because he's desperate for sex. If he repeatedly asks, it's because he's desperate for sex. If he doesn't actually make any actions leading to sex, it's because he's smart. These aren't mixed signals, they're pretty... unmixed. He's desperate for sex, but it seems like he's not going to try anything without your permission. It's as simple as that. [ storageanddisposal's advice column | Ask storageanddisposal A Question ]
XX_Jenny answered Thursday June 2 2005, 11:43 am: Guys are very different people then us girls! He probably is thirsty for sex! JUst ask your mom for a chasity ring or get on. A chasity ring means that you make a promise to not have sex before marrige. That would a good soulution!
--XX_Jenny [ XX_Jenny's advice column | Ask XX_Jenny A Question ]
jbdreamer answered Thursday June 2 2005, 11:41 am: He's confused because you didn't give him a frim no. He still thinks there is a chance. Tell him you are not planning on having sex anytime soon, so please stop asking. You don't need excuses, or need to "buy time." Saying no should be good enough. Tell him you don't plan on having sex until you are married (which is a good idea anyway) and see how long he sticks around. Then you will know if he truely loves you. [ jbdreamer's advice column | Ask jbdreamer A Question ]
Mackenzie answered Thursday June 2 2005, 11:29 am: He's a guy.. and he wants sex.. nothing out of the oRdinaRy. And I think the Reason why he keeps asking is to make shoRe you haven't changed youR mind yet; he wouldn't want to miss out, ya know??
And you don't need to "BUY TIME"!!! It's *YOUR* body; theRefoRe *YOUR* decision to make. Stand youR gRound, and don't eveR eveR eveR let ANYONE make you feel pRessuRed to commit acts which make you uncomfoRtable. Tell him that NO means NO and when -you- change -youR- mind.. **YOU** will let **HIM** know...
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