|
How can I help?
Ok, my girlfriend is pregnant and she's really worried about it. We're both 19 and this wasn't planned or anything. We talked about it for a long time and we both agreed that we want to keep it. Her parents disowned her when she was 18 becasue she started to see me, because she was raised catholic and I'm not catholic. I felt that was rediculous because I have nothing against catholics and I was willing to join the church if it meant I could be with her but she decided that she didn't want that...anyway her parents won't be helping us with her pregnancy and with the baby so we're on our own. (my mother is dead and I've never met my father) I know that she's going to be going through a lot with her pregnancy and I was wondering if anyone knew how I could help her get through with a little more ease. I'm working two jobs one full time and the other part time so I'm not around that much. But is there anything that I can do to be of any help to her or is there anything that I should look out for? I was also wondering about taking care of baby. If anyone has any tips about taking care of baby that would be a big help as well. Thank you for the advice and I will rate a five for any help.
Tim
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Domesticity category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
Okay, it seems like you have had enough help on the pregnancy part of the question, but a few helpful hints that helped out my stepsister when she went thru her pregnancy.
STOCK UP ON DAIPERS NOW! when you go grocery shopping, buy a pack, trust me it goes much easier once you have the baby.
MAKE SURE YOU HAVE HEALTH INSURANCE! my sister is still paying for this mistake, her baby needed to be put on a resperator for 3 weeks, all in all cost was 3,000 dollars, a regret she still has to this day, im assuming this wont be a problem, seen as how your full time job will most likely cover any health insurances for your baby, if you register him/her right away, there are quick deadlines when it comes to this, im talking 12 hrs after the baby is born, you need to mention to your health insurance provider, in order to be on the safe side.
Your wife will probobly go into a state of depression after giving birth, for about 2-3 months, make sure her doctor is good, and be nice to her.
Have a reliable home, make sure their is no flaws with your house (faulty furnace.... a/c not working...) this could just end up being the thing that throws your wife off the wall.
Make sure everything is set into motion and take as much stress off of her as possible, because as we all know (and hear everyday), women go through alot in the Pregnancy process, so just be gentle and loving, and tell those future in-laws of yours to eat your ass! j/k, just bringing some humor to a diffucult situation
hope i helped, please leave one in my inbox if you run in to any problems, chances are if its a pregnancy one, ive ran into it once or twice before.
good luck!
DREW
]
Marry her if you are not married already so her parents dont full hate you...i know you guys seem to love each other alot and i dont think you would ever disown her...the best thing to do is if you can afford it is have an apartment and be ready for the baby but whatever you do you are a father now and you are responsible for this kid and dont you dare leave her...its going to be hard for the both of you financially i understand but dont leave her cuz the baby is your kid too
]
That's gotta be a hard situation. One of the huge things you can do is be sincerely concerned abouth her. Reminder her how beautiful she is even though she is getting bigger. Try to attend whatever classes she does with her. That means soooo much!! She will know by how you act that you really love her and truly support her. That is really the best thing you can do - besides going out in the middle of the night to get whatever food she is craving!!! As for the baby, well, your instincts will kick in and hers definately will. There are places that can help and will help. If you ever have a question, your pediatrician will be an asset. Get a pediatrician BEFORE the baby is born. If you don't know what to do about something, they typically do. Try to keep the stress down - as impossible as that sounds - because the baby will sense that stress and will be stressed too. Go to the doctor appts with her - if you can - at least some. Especially the important ones like the sonogram. Have a few "pick a name" nights and play about what name will be perfect. Another great resource is yahoo groups. There are tons of groups for parenting and new babies. They have lots of good information. Stop by the library and pick up a book on newborns. They have a ton of them with some really good advice. Just relax and know that this is in perfect order. If you are looking for answers now before you even have the baby - I'm sure you will be very prepared and great parents!!!
Good luck and congratulations!!!
]
You may be working hard but at least you are taking responsibility. I applaud you. Since you don't have family to say it I will Say I am proud of you both.:)
You being there has got to be a big help. Even though your work hours may make it difficult at times. It won't be easy but it is possible if you love each other. Most of the baby's care will come naturally. Some is common sense. So long as you love it...and it's mama, feed it and change its diapers all will go well. I had mine at 17. My husband and I will have been married 30 years next Week! So I have been where you guys are. Feel free to drop me a question anytime as things move along. I am on often and should get back to you quickly. Good luck :)
]
Try this website
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
It tells you everything you need to know.
I am 24 and have 2 kids. My youngest is 8 months.
Dont worry everything will come to you naturally. Just work really hard for yournew family and make sure to spend quality time with them. Also try taking some parenting classes.
]
Well hoss im 21 and my g/f is 19 she's 8 months pregnant and let me tell you its not easy.Things you can do to make her feel better is rubbing her back.Rub her feet. Tell her how much you love her and how happy you are that she's the mother of your child.Tell her how beautiful she is.Tell what a great mother she's gonna be.Times will be hard her moods will change by the minute and so will yours.In our realationship i know it sounds wierd but im the one that gets sick in the morning and really craves stuff.Its totally wierd.But remember its not about you or her anymore.Its about the child your bringing into this world.I guarantee you once her parents see the child there minds will most likely change. i really do wish you the best of luck with your g/f and your baby.I hope i helped ya out.everything will be alright
steven
]
i know this GREAT forum site for people that are pregnant
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
if you go to
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
theres different things about baby names and other things about pregnancy but the first one is all about pregnancy and TTCers
Theres loads of ladies there that are pregnant, trying to get pregnant and going through TTC to get pregnant, they talk about different problems and give you some advice, they talk about there families and everything so it's all friendly, i would take her to a brook clinic or like a pregnanting clinic to see if there's anyone she can talk to about her worries i hope i helped and good lukc to her i'm sure she'll make a wonderful mum :D
]
well,from what people had said,i would go with the 1st person who answered this question because she knows and she really gave you a very well answer. i give her a 5. just remember its not all your fault she will have mood swings an maybe blame it on you,but its not your fault,take it easy with her and be pationt[[spelling? pronounced pa`-shent]] with her.
]
Hey your right this does sound very confusing and i know this must be hard for you but to my it sounds like you are almost ready to be a parent because atleast your not running away from her and not helping her. there is this on site it looks like a pretty good site to help out but im not totally sure if its really good its: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) I hope you get thought this all tother
Good luck
SArah
]
Dear Tim,
It's great to see guys like you who actually care and are willing to do whatever it takes. It's refreshing, really. Now, anyways, on to your problem. I would have to say that although money is a very important thing in this day and age, and the only way to make it is with your jobs, you're still going to have to be around. It will be hard, and your girlfriend will probably be upset that you're not around as much as she'd like. I'm sure in the end she's going to appreciate everything that you've done so far, because it sounds like you're a mature, responsible young man. I'm sure there's many agencies that deal with this sort of nature, so, if you call up the Planned Parenthood, I'm sure they might have a name or two for you.
Goodluck!
-Siobhan
]
Well the best advice anyone can really give you is to just stay by her side. She is going to have mood swings and cravings and many other things that she is going to want you to help her with and with 2 jobs it may be a little hard but you have to make time just like she is going to have to make time for the baby. You two are really young and that gives you some advantages and disadvantages. You are young which means that you have alot of energy for the baby and the job. You are young which means you dont have that much experience on with children. It will work out just dont give up. As for her parents... try writing them letters every once in a while and tell them how you feel and what youre willing to do to get back in their good graces. As for family... try going to them for support, I'm sorry i couldnt give you any advice on Babies but i dont have one.
~CrzyLatinaChc~
]
Just be there for and make sure she knows you love her. Yes, making money for your family is important but it's also important to be with them. There is a book called Teen Dads by Jeanne Warren Lindsay that I think you and your girlfriend should read, and [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) has some information. All you can do is love your girlfriend and your baby. There is a lot of hard work ahead of you, however, your entire life is changing. Jeanne Lindsay's book and a lot of other books will tell you a lot about that, and there are parenting classes you can take, and of course talk to your doctor.
]
Well first she has to get on state aid so that she can get a doctor. Since she is single, and has no assets, she should be eligible for state aid. Unless she has a full time job and insurance, then she can go see a doctor. The OB/GYN will see her throughout her pregnancy and you too if you want to go to the office visits. You should go whenever you can. Welfare or state aid, will want to know who the dad is. So expect that. And don't be scared, no one will judge you. and too bad if they do. It think is is wonderful that you two want to stay together and have the baby, but your love had better be strong because you are both going to be going through things that even older couples who are married and have both their families behind them, find it hard to get through. So hang in there. Mostly you can be supportive of your girlfriend. Her hormones are going to be raging. She will be weepy and have mood swings. She will think she is fat, tell her she is beautiful. And thank her over and over for having your child.
This is hard but you can do it if
1. you are both totally dedicated to each other.
2. if you are totally dedicated to the baby.
3. Understand that things will be tough, money will be tight, and the baby needs both of your attention. Don't feel left out after the baby comes. He/she will need his mother most of all, in the beginning. But that baby can bring great joy to both of you.
It will be had for both of you, because you have both be abondoned by your families. It means you will find the feelings that you sometimes feel for the baby and for each other foreign. When things get tough, you will say, "why should I stay, my father left me, I can leave this kids, this to too hard. Why should I stay. I am missing out on life because of some kid." Just be prepared. you may feel that way sometime, but let me tell you that if you do leave, your child will experience emotional pain that will never go away, and a hold in their heart that will never be filled. If you both think of each other and the baby, and not yourselves...you will get through this. Good luck to you. I will answer more questions if you like. As time goes on, you may have more questions. Leave a message in my in box.
]
Im 18 years old right now and im pregnant . The best ways for a guy to help out in the realtionships is to be there for her emotionally . We women tend to get mean and emotional the further along in the pregnancy. She might feel sick and tired sometimes and need your help with somethings. So the best thing is to help her out and ask her if she needs anything. Make sure she gets good sleep to because her sleeping might change , it gets harder to sleep when your pregnant . If you share a bed it gets harder for her because shes going to want to lay other ways then she did before. Believe me im 8months now and i cant get comfortable if i tried. She will get upset over things much easier. Her parents might come around at some point i mean its there granchild it didnt do anything to them.But im sure if you want the baby , you too will be able to handle it. Taken care of a baby is a hard thing , but it will get easier. Just when the baby comes be ready to not get any sleep , and be up all hours. I wish you both the best of luck and im sure you too can make it. Just remember.. -- mood changes , cravings --she will want things weird, she will want ice cream probley , i always wanted ice cream. -- Goodluck!!!*mDezzy--->
]
More Questions: |