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problems with spouse
Hi all I need help My wife and I have been married for 28 years have a good relationship but we have a few problems. one is when I play softball in the summer she does not like it when all the guys get together and drink beer or go back to the bar for a beer, I have to tell you that I am not that fond of beer but it is fun to get together after, I find myself just leaving after the game just to avoid a fight with her is it a major thing that I would like to stay for a quick beer and just hang around I personally do not see anything wrong but she hates it.. what should I do thanks...
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I've been married close to thirty myself.
I think maybe if you talk to her, tell it how it is important for you to have this time with your friends that she should understand. She after all has her gym and friend time. Does she work outside the home? If not then she may have all day for visiting while your at work, you don't have that luxury (a point to bring up).
Another way to solve it is ask her to come with you to the game and for a beer after. If she doesn't want to then at least you tried to include her. She can't complain about that.
One more! You could (and really should) make a date with her for another night. Just the two of you. My husband and I try to make dates every week...doesn't always work but you try!
I think you need to talk. Maybe she gets a little jealous or something. Do try to include her. Then she can decide to come with you or not and basically hasn't a complaint. Good luck. :)
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well maybe you should include her in it...instead of everyone goin out for a drink maybe you should have a barbeque or dinner together with the team and their spouses/kids....make it a fun evening for everyone...for all u kno maybe the other guys's wives feel the same as yours does...give everyone a chance to have fun:)
happy softball games!
~nichole~
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Hmm, she's just a little self centered. Tell her if she really loved you, she would let you have fun.
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Just try talking to her, tell her what you just told the Advicenators poepl..(how much it means to you to stay after....not being that fond of beer..etc) Also, maybe she is worried that you might get drunk and hurt yourself, or another person...or that you will just do something plain stupid. You could always try to take her with you so that she can see for herself what really goes on?? I hope that I helped!
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After 28 years of marriage, she's being kind of ridiculous. Unless your not giving all the details or she has another reason to mistrust you. If it's only because she doesn't want you to have friends and outside interests then something is wrong with her. A good, healthy relationship is one of honesty and trust and varied interests! Then when you get home you share the different things in your days.
Good luck!
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Well she must have told you why she doesn't like it. What did she say. I know how guys can be when they get together at a bar for a beer, it may be that "group" behavior that she doesn't like, and maybe you come home sort of acting like that after. Is that possible? It certainly sounds harmless, one beer after one game. Is it just once a week? Since you haven't started yet, why not sit down with her now, before softball season, and bring up the matter before she gets mad. And tell her, I want to really resolve this problem. I am willing to listen to your side, if you are willing to listen to my side. And then reasonable people should be able to resolve it. She may be afraid of what might happen to you. Drink and drive, or get his by a drunk driver. Maybe she is afraid to loose you. How about the rest of the guys on the team....any of them cheat on their wives, any of them alcoholics? If so, she should not be judging you by their behavior. She really needs to come clean about what is REALLY bothering her about it, so you can deal with it properly. I agree with you, it seems like it should not be a big deal, so I think she is not telling you the REAL reason why it bothers her. HOpe this helps.
Michele
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you should talk to your wife in a calm manner or introduce her to the guys on your team and show her why yuo're friends with them. maybeshe'll realize that its not so bad after all and then let you go!!
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ahh thats messed up..cause if she does it to thats not fair to you..so when she says you cant go out tell her she cant go out either..cause thats not fair..if you dont drink i dont see what the problem is? unless shes insecure and thinks your going to pick up some chick but i doubt that..it could happen though! but just tell her if you cant go out she cant either!! see what she says..sorry i didnt really help..
michelle♥
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she's being a dumb ho, get a fatty ring and slap her across the face with it. then threaten to throw her out of the house if she won't chill the fuck out.
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Maybe she thinks that you arent giving her enough attention??? Try sitting down with her and talking with her about the issues that you are feeling, It could be that she is insecure with herself and thinks that you would rather spend time with your friends than with her..Tell her shes beautiful and do something spontaneous like make reservations at her fav resteraunt or cook her her fav food and sit her down and talk to her about whats going on and explane to her that everyonce n a while u want to go out with the guys and u want to know why she feels the way she does, I know i dont like it when my boyfriend drinks because my dad was an alcoholic so discuss the issues with her, another idea would be to invite the guys back to your home to hang out and drink-maybe shed be more comfortable if she knew you were at home...hope i helped let me know!
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Hey.. Well im not married or close to being but i can tell you that your wife is a little insecure at times .. so why dont you invite her to your games n let her give you a little support and take her out with your guys .. once she sees that you just want to hang out then she'll let loose ;) good luck !
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hi there,
since she's you wife , you have to talk to her how importnant it is for you to be with your friends because you cant be with her all the time, they are certain ladies that want they men not to have any friends, which they might see as a threat beer isnt good for you , see might see it as a threat like when you get drunk you end up doing something that you'll regret talk to her and hear it from her point of view
good luck
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Don't drink beer. Beer is gross and it'll give you a fat stomach. EEW YOU PIG YOU DRINK BEER.
Well it's the TRUTH.
**xox**
~*~BeCcA~*~
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well, this sounds like how things use to be between my bf and i, and weve only been together for 2 yrs. personally, i think you should talk to her about it and tell her just how important it is to you to spend time away from the house and with the guys. to keep friendships alive and have a life other then her.
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I think the question here is what exactly does she hate about you drinking with your friends? Is it because she doesn't like you drinking alcohol, or she doesn't like your friends, or she feels left out when you go out or what? When you know the answer to this then you can work it all out with her. Ask her why she doesn't like it and ask her that you really would like to sort things out you just need to know why she hates it so much. Then, depending on what she hates so much about it you can try and talk it through with her and think of ways to minimise her feeling like this. the best way to do this would be to try and talk it through together. Try and be really understanding and avoid an argument at all costs. If an argument does start say quietly to her that you would rather just TALK about things as you really want to sort it out as you hate upsetting her. Good luck!
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