|
There's a 'rock event' (like a disco but with rock music) that goes on in my town every month or so, and most of my mates go to it. Out of the seven of us, five go (I don't). This place has a really bad rep. and most people who go there drink, smoke and do drugs, but of course my friends parents have NO IDEA about this. All of my five friends who go have gotten into smoking, and two of them are serious binge drinkers. One guy I know but am not great friends with also goes to this place and has gotten into illegal drugs, as has one girl I was kinda 'hi in the hallway' friends with, and she got expelled and charged by the police for it. Now my problem is, I will NOT stand by and watch my friends slowly kill themselves with a load of alcohol, drugs and cigarettes, but how can I stop them? I can't say anything about how dangerous it is because that's like preaching and they know the dangers but don't care. I am thinking of breaking friends with them...three of them are moving into my house in a couple of months and I have told the two of them moving in with me that smoke and drink that they can forget moving in if they think they can smoke in my house and they just laughed. I don't want to preach and I know if they don't want to stop I can't make them...but what do you think I should do? I am NOT standing by and watching them die. There's also the added problem that I am extremely asthmatic and being in a house with smokers would (I've checked this with a doctor) kill me within a month, but my friends won't listen to this either. I love them all loads but I am not putting up with this any more and I am not putting my life on the line because they are too selfish to stop smoking. CAN I make them see sense? Or should I just break friends and move on?
Thanks!!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Maybe if you tell them you don't want to be friends with them if they keep doing all of these things they might see what they are doing is bad. Hold a convention, have all the people that really care about them (plus you) come together and show them what they are doing is wrong and can have consequences that will hurt not only them but the ones that really care about them, and if they don't stop ya'll will be forced to break away from them. They might realize that losing you guys isn't worth what they are doing.
I hope I gave you atleast one good idea, and I hope I helped, if not I'm sorry!
--Steph--
]
Tell them you're seriously scared. Start leaving little information packets and "Nicorette" patches in places you know they'll find them. Eventually they'll get the picture and use them.
]
If you tried talking to them about this and they didn't even listen to you and stop, that shows you that they really don't care about you and your health problems. You should definitely move on and not be friends with these people because if they would rather risk their lives by smoking and drinking and not stopping because of your health problems, it shows that they aren't your true friends. These people really do need help and it seems that you've tried talking to them but it still doesn't work. Just let them go and face the consequences because you deserve better friends who will listen to you and care about you and would stop smoking and drinking if they had to.
-Karen
]
You seem like a really great person, that really cares for their friends. Well, I hate saying this, but it seems your friends don't care about you as much as you care about them. You could tell their parents what's going on, that may possibly get them to stop this. Otherwise, just forget them and move on, cause if they don't care about you like you care about them, then they aren't worth any of your time.
-Hope I helped!-
***Good Luck***
...*bUtTeRfLiEs*...
]
Move on if you dont want to get into that stuff you need to move on. You might say now you wont but when you get around them you will start.
]
Been there, done that. Your friends have problems...Unfortunately, there isn't much that you can do to help them, besides maybe talking to them. And really, most of the time that doesn't seem to work.
Your friends will quit when they want to quit. They won't stop on behalf of anyone else. And they won't even listen until their darn well ready too.
Until they are ready to listen, you need to think about YOU. Their habits are not only hazardous to your health, but their influence is hazardous as well. I suggest you call off the move, tell them you aren't hanging around them until they can get their crap together, and make some new friends. Friends that don't have problems with addiction, friends that resepect your needs, and friends that will be smart enough to listen to you.
I know that's harsh, but I think the alternative is even harder. The longer you keep these people as company the more they are going to drag you down. The more unhappy you are going to be. Don't let them do that to you. Please.
I hope that all goes well. Best wishes ;)
]
I can understand your dilema. Unfortunately you can not live other peoples lives for them. They will do what they need to do.
You could look for the underlying causes of their behaviour I.e what are they getting from taking drugs or drinking
They may feel more popoular or more confident or more liked. What is causing them not to feel this way when they avoid drink or drugs
]
In this case.. I would say to break friends and move on. You sound like your a great friend because you dont want them to be in danger..buttt...they are not returning the friendship. A real friend would not just brush it offwhen you say " you cant smoke in the house because it would kill me." They sound like they are out of control. I would say...im sorry but if you want to be out of control and put your lives in danger..go ahead..but your not going to put mine in danger. Definately dont let them move in..and stay away from them unless they give you a major apology.
I hope all works out
-melissa-
]
You should not be friends with them any more. If they cared about your asma then they would stop but obviously they dont, so dump them and get new friends that dont do drugs and stuff.
Hope i helped ;)
PLease rate me
<33 amber
]
Get them to rehab (sp?) as soon as possible. If need be LIE! Tell them you are going somewhere and take them to a center that can help them. How old are you? If you are an age that needs parental suporvision get your parents to help. If they smoke in your house you may not like this but kick them out. You seriously need to just talk to them and tell them straght up theey can't smoke in your house. Show them this question and all the answers you get (except the sarcastic ones). Get them help. I hope I helped! ♥ good luck
]
A person should be able to choose how they live their own life. If your friends choose to smoke and drink, then, although it might be a bad decesion, it is nonetheless their decesion to make. You can't stop them doing these things, even if you know that they are bad for them. As much as it hurts, sometimes you have to watch your friends and loved-ones make bad decesions - making choices, making mistakes and learning is what life is all about. So no, I don't think you should try to change them. It's perfectly okay to remind them what they are doing is potentionally dangerous and bad for them, but don't go overboard and "preach" to them, as at the end of the day it is their choice to make and if they don't want to listen to you, they are allowed to.
That said however, you do have every right to insist they do not smoke in your home. Your health and wellbeing should be your primary concern, and if they can't respect your need for them not to smoke at home, then they really aren't good friends. If they aren't willing to listen about what you need them to do in the house so that your asthma is not brought on, then be frank with them and explain that if they aren't going to listen and comprimise, then they can't live with you. It's worth trying to reach a comprimise so that they can smoke in the garden or similar, but not in the house, but don't let them walk over you and ignore your needs when it comes to your health. If they won't listen at all, then you really shouldn't consider living with them. Good luck.
]
i have to say that you should forget them and not let any of them move in with oyu unless they dont smoke or drink or anythin like that. i think you should unless your willing to give preaching a try. cause judging by how addicted they are i dont think that they'll ever quit and if they do... it wont be soon... i srry that you might have to leave your really good friends. but aparently... they dont care about wat you think.
]
More Questions: |