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abuse
My husband and I of 1.3 years of marriage got into a huge fight yesterday and he hit me several times, twice in the head. He kicked my butt real hard, threw something at my leg or my arm-can't remember which over something that was really stupid. I did say somethings I know I shouldn't have like I didn't love him, hated him and wanted a divorce. But does my saying those things warrant him hitting me? And that wasn't the first time. He normally hits me real hard on the legs when he gets real mad or he feels I've pushed his buttons.
Last night, he went to a motel with his son to get away and he would not talk to me at all. I didn't even know if we were going to be together. I was hurt and upset about the whole situation and did something real stupid. I filled out one of those eharmony personality profile things. I didn't chat with anyone or nothing like that. I just did it, don't know why. I was depressed and I did pop a lot of pills as I have tonight to try and sleep. None of it his an excuse. He found the eharmony thing today when he came back and now he won't have anything to do with me. I love him and want to work it out and I know I have to change also, not just him. All the times he's accused me of doing things I never ever did, I guess I just filled out that eharmony thing out of spite. He has called me a slut and a whore and that I'm so big now vaginally wise that no man could do me any good. I have apologized for filling out that personality profile. It was dumb of me. How can I save this marriage and convince him that I don't want anyone else, PERIOD. I love him and want to work this out more than anything in this world. Help me please.
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Oh my god
sweetheart.. I am soo sorry.. If I were you I would let him just go with his son and take a break from everything.. maybe if he gets a way for a while he will find out how much he has done to you and he will miss you and come back.. and with the break you should just sit down and think about things.. when he comes back try to sit down with him and talk about everything.. if he is still abusing you then a legal seperation or a divorce would be the best way to go.. if you need someone to talk to email me or im me sometime...
-Kaydee
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I can see you love him very much but are you for sure he now has second thoughts or feels the same way about you..(im sry to say) but i dont think anyone whos normal would hit someone they love real hard, what kind of perosn would do that?
xoxo
~becca~
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You might love him, but hello? Does he love you? Does someone who abuse you really love you? Are they worthy of you? Of course not! If you seriously refuse to give up on this guy, then my advice is get in counseling, and get in there soon! It really does do some good. But if it doesn't help totally and he is still acting like this, dump the jerk. You apologized for filling that eharmony thing out, and if he can't just get over it he's a loser. Get out of the relationship or into counseling fast! You deserve better! I'll be praying that a solution comes to you and that you guys can work this out. Good luck!!
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Ok this is probably one of the most horrible posistions you could be in and i know that you wont like what I have to say since you "love" him. Fist NO MAN ever has the right to hit you! Even if it is something more serious! It seems he takes ALOT of his anger out on you, and probably all of them arn't even worth it! and if it really "love" he would call you a slut or a whore and no man could do you any good...you dont deserve this man if he is talking to you like this!! If you do still want to be with him, and i cant think of a reason why you should, then I suggest you guys taking a marrige counciling therepy or angermanagement! or even just take a break for a couple of days! I really hope I helped a little! I just hope he doesnt see this advice stuff! If you EVER need anything else I am here for you!! I hope I helped!!!
*I hope things get better!!! ♥Andie
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Do you really want to go back to him? He hit you..he not only hit you but he beat you up pretty bad. One hit is bad enough..but your husband didnt let up! You said this wasnt the first time..how often does he hit you? Thats horrible..unless hes willing to seriously go to marriage couseling and/or anger management or some other kind of therapy, divorce him. Theres never an excuse for him to hit you. I think when a man hits a woman thats the lowest thing he can do. Just because you said you want a divorce does NOT warrant him to hit you. The only time he should use some physical force against you is if you attack him first. You've only been married for 1.3 years..your marriage is still new and already hes been hitting you? You dont desserve this. I really think you should divorce him and call the police next time he hits you. However I see you really want to save this marriage so if you decide to try and save it ...he needs to go to therapy/anger management..and the two of you need to go to marriage counseling. If he refuses to do it...you need to divorce him. If hes not willing to try and fix it..you wont get anywhere and nothing will get better. Its something to think about
-melissa
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OMG never stand for anyone physically abusing you!! That is totally wrong. There is never a good enough reason for that. He could seriously hurt! You can't stand for that. Tell him that if he doesnt change your leaving. Get him some help like anger management or something he SHOULD NOT be physically abusing you.
p.s. I hope he doesnt see that you have been on advicenators.
Good luck i hope u make the rigth desicion :(
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I know it's hard, but you have to leave him. He hit you. That's never ever acceptable in any relationship.
Hope I helped!
Happy New Years!
~*Erin*~
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I must say, you are in one of the most horrible situations ever...abuse from a loved one. I can understand your confusion, but you need a dose of reality.
He. Hit you.
In no way, shape, or form, is that ever acceptable. And despite how much you want it to change, it might not...ever. Staying in this relationship is like punching yourself in the face.
Now, him being mad at you for filling out an online dating profile, and not even using it, is even more irrational. No matter how I look at it, I cannot see how any of this could possibly be your fault. If this continues, take the initative and leave him. A abusive spouse is something no one should have to deal with, and I hope you make the right choice, for your own sake and safety.
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To answer your first question: Nothing warrants a man hitting you or speaking to you like that. Wow. Well, I can relate to your situation and you may not agreee with or like the advice I am going to give you, but it's my honest opinion. You need to get out of this relationship, or else the later consequenses could be far worse than you may have already taken part in. It's not healthy for any of the parties involved. Now when I say you need to get out, I mean it in two ways. A. you could leave the jerk right now and get coustody of your son or B. you could demand that he change his ways (if I were you I would choose A, but that's just me)
I really feel for you though. And I can understand why you may want to stay with him (ie: your son, money issues, love, commitment, etc) Coming from a family where there was abuse and knowing several other families that have dealt with it I can say that's its not good for the child or rather anyone in the long run. If you really really think that your husband can change his ways and won't blow up at you even more for you suggesting change, then go for it. Tell him that you are sorry and you want to make things work and you want the both of oyu to put forth some effort. Get yourselvesi n family counseling and some anger managment classes. Give it some time and see if you both are putting forth the needed effort. If you don't think you want to work through this all, get your son and you and get out of there. File for divorce. Put a restrainign order on him if need be. I know it all sounds harsh but this guy sounds really dangerous. You could even have him arrested. If you have marks on you take pictures. I can't stress enough the fact that none of this is healthy, I know how hard it is to leave someone after such time and effort put in to the mix, but the longer you wait, the harder it will be. If there is any doubt in your mind that the way he is treating you is right or wrong or not,, that should be answer enough for you. Please seek help. You can call this number: 1800 799 7233 They can also provide you with a place to stay if you so choose to leave. What ever choice you make, think which one would be the safest, and wisest. Best of luck. :)
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