|
I don't know if I have Feelings
I don't think I react to things the way I should,
I lost my father in 97 and I didn't cry all the much and I loved my father very much, then in 2002 I lost my Brother to A Car Crash, and I just don't think I was as sad as I should have been I know you guys are probally think I am cold hearted and made of stone. I fear the same I mean I feel regular emotions like LOVE and anger, and Joy. But when it comes to sadness I just kinda of go numb is something wrong with me, or am I just worrying too much?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
im like that 2 its not that u dont kno how 2 b terrible sad its that ud rather not b sad u prob. look on the good side of things rather than the bad
]
That's your defense machanism. You numb the pain just as a drunk or addict would, but in a healthier way. But, what you are doing is unhealthy mentally. You are questioning yourself (and may feel guilty) about why you don't externally express yur feelings inside. You have to remember, people cope differently. A sensitive person may cry, an artist may paint, a dancer might dance to seek consolement, but you just try to block it. If that's how you cope, then so be it. It seems as though, though that this has been effecting you. I suggest writing, if you're not a scribe, do what you do best. Just make sure that whatever you do is safe and rewarding. Your pop and bro are probably communicating with you now and are trying to help. If they are, just listen.
]
I lost my dad in 2003 and a really close friend in 2003 also..I wasn't as sad for my friend as I was for my dad..I thought I was cold hearted too but trust me your not at all..you have different feelings and reactions to others and other things..not all your feelings are the same..Don't worry about being cold hearted if anyone ever tells you that you are dont listen to them..I know it was your brother but still you at least have feelings and you did cry right? Your fine don't worry about a thing!! let me know if it gets better or worse!
]
well from my point of view i think you not crying is perfectly fine. i didnt cry when my great grandmother passed away and there is nothing wrong with me. i just think that it comes as a complete shock to you that u just freeze. hope this helped good luck!!
]
No that is a normal reaction that lets you lead your life. Your father and brother would probably want you to go on with your life, and not dwell so much on them. There may be a time farther down the line when you actually deal with the grief that is just triggered out of the blue. When you let it go, then you will probably have a chance to get it out of your system. Sometimes when you have someone you can talk to about it or just hold you while you cry, lets you grieve. If you haven't talked to a counselor about this, I would encourage you to do so. But you aren't strange or weird or cold hearted, this is just the way you handled it.
]
no.. the same thing happens to me .. i don`t cry that much, i`m usually in too much shock.. don`t worry!!
]
No, there is nothing wrong with you. People can feel hurt on the inside and not show it on the outside. It's sad that you lost your father and brother but you not crying and not feeling sad doesn't make you a terrible person. When it comes to death, some show no emotion, very little emotion or TONS of emotion and dramatize everything about it. Everyone is different as to how they deal with their emotions. Hope this helped.
]
There is nothing wrong with you at all! Some peoples way of dealing with grief is numbness and shock that they don't know what to feel. The way you reacted is perfectly normal, in my opinion. If you're feeling uncomfortable about the way you feel though, talk with someone about it.. preferably a family member. You'll get closer with them and then you'll be able to heal the past.
Hope this helps!
*xo* Lindsay
]
a lot of people go through this.
i myself lost many friends and family members throughout my life, and its hard. you go through a lot. as a matter of fact, i just lost 3 of my friends saturday night =/ ...
so..times can be hard, and at first when i found out i was soo shocked and i wanted to cry but i was so angry that i didnt say goodbye and all these things came all into one and it really confused me.
**it takes time to realize how much you really miss someone when theyre gone...
it may take time for you to be able to sit down and think about what happened, and then begin to cry.**
i hope my advice helped, if u need to talk to me ne more or need more advice, you can go to my advice page =)
much love,
~*rachel*~
]
Sometimes when things of that magnutude happen your body goes into a state of shock and you are sad but u cant show it or feel it yoursewlf because maybe you refuse to believe what it is that's happened...
Chris
]
I am sorry to hear about all the loss you have had to endure, and I think you might be too hard on yourself regarding what you perceive to be inadequte emotional responses to sadness.
Everyone reacts differently to extreme emotional situations. Some people cry hysterically and show their pain and grief outwardly and some deal with their pain more subtley. A noticeable expression of grief (or lack thereof) for the loss of a family member is in no way a measure of how much that person was loved.
It sounds as if you may have an internal defense mechanism that kicks in when you are faced with intense grief allowing you to become numb just to get through from day-to-day. If you were completely unable to feel any emotions, then I think you would have serious cause for concern. However, since you say that you experience feelings of love, anger and joy then you are clearly not completely closed-off from your feelings.
Although, I don't necessarily see an issue with the level of sadness you experienced, I do think it's important to make sure that you didn't simply "bottle up" or "stuff down" your feelings instead of dealing with them at all. If that is what happened, then I fear that those suppressed emotions will find ways of creeping up into your life in the future and probably at inopportune times. If you haven't already participated in grief counselling, you might want to give it a shot.
If you believe that you are not dealing with issues of grief supression and are just concerned that you weren't sad enough and didn't cry enough, then I think you need to cut yourself some serious slack. You shouldn't measure yourself against how you see others react. You are an individual and your grief process might be different from everyone else's - not more appropriate or less appropriate - just different. Again, I am sorry for your losses and I wish you the best in your quest for clarification about your feelings.
Kind wishes,
]
Going 'numb' is pretty normal when something really bad happens. You really shouldn't worry about it, but if you think it's something wrong with your brain's emotional set-up, there's nothing wrong with talking to a psychologist or similar.
]
Everyone deals with grief in a different way. Some people hold it in, some people don't. I don't think there's anything wrong with you, it's just how you manage your sadness. I wouldn't let it worry you too much unless it's effecting how you live day to day.
]
More Questions: |