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Drugs and smoking...
(I'm 14) I've been going out with my bf for awhile, and I always knew that he USED to smoke pot, and stopped like 6 months ago,and sometimes drinks a lot because of family problems...Well about 3 weeks ago he left a voice message saying he wouldn't be able to call because he got grounded because he "got caught doing something...very bad" and wouldn't tell me what it was, well his parents disconnected his phone and I found out yesterday from his friend justin (i had to practically beat it out of him...because he was afraid i'd go off killing my bf or something...) that his parents caught him smoking (which explains why he cant run 2 miles anymore) and that he used to have a big stash of cigs in his room, but that he quit after his parents caught him...then he asked if i was gonna break up with him, i said "i have no idea" And i haven't talked to him because he's grounded, and as selfish as it is, it pisses me off..
I dunno what to do, should I break up with him or not? I know all my friends will say I should, because I'm in the "good" group of friends, a lot of them go to church and have very strong beliefs and have never done any of that stuff,(we live in a small town in farmersville u.s.a so that stuff is a big deal) I'm in with them...but barely (my family is screwed up) it's like i'm teetering on the edge of good and bad...and i always fall for the messed up guys, and I know my bf is messed up..but i love him, and I don't know...he's never pressured me or ANYTHING, he's not like that, but I know dating someone with that many problems isn't good and will lead to problems, because drugs and alcoholism run in MY family too..but no matter what he does i can't hate him
Any advice would be lovely, and I rate =)
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fuck that, you dad did not love your mom if he almost killed her. alcohal does not just suddenly turn you into an asshole killer, you have to be an asshole in the first place to have alcohal bring it out in you. And secondly, do you think your better than your boyfriend just because he smokes? Who are the people that decide who is messed up and who is part of the "good" crowd. Personally, I think it's wrong to judge someone by one or two mistakes that they have made.
You can't sit up on your little soap box for the rest of your life and put down all the so called "bad" people who care for you, but also happen to make a few mistakes.
The worst kind of people are the kind that completely turn their back on friends who care about them just because they might not be part of the "good" group of people. If those "good" people will put down other people who are in bad situations at this time in their life, then they are not good at all.
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i think he sounds like a good guy ( exept for the drinking+stuff) b/c he hasnt pessured you in to it all. but i seriously think that you should talk to him n stuff
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well..first of all if u love him as much as u say..then u'd care about what the drugs and stuff are doing to his body..explain how u feel to him..and how u care about him and u dont wanna lost a boyfriend from alchol poisoning..or something like that..if he's 'willing' to change..then he honestly cares for you..but juss because he says hes gonna change..doesnt mean its all gonna go away like that..you gotta give him some time..and there will probally be some screw ups.
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i've been stuck in that same situation. but it wasn't with a boyfriend. there was this guy that i liked alot his name was dave and he liked me alot, at times he would always tell me that he was in love with me. he was really a great guy and i cared alot about him and i still do but if you really care for him you should help him get over the drugs and whatnot because it's really not healthy and it's disgusting! i helped dave with it. he's been clean for about 6 months now. i hope you can help him out! if he loves you, and you love him you can help him! and once he's clean you two can have a nice and healthy relation ship. i think you just need to help him get clean before you start dating one another again. hope i helped! good luck hun!
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You seem to have a ood relationship with this boy. If you really love him like you say then this shouldn't bring an end to your relationship. I think you should just talk to him and tell him that when he drinks and smokes and stuff it really bothers you. You should tell him that if he has any problems he can always talk to you instead of turning to drinking or smoking. Let him know you're there for him, because it helps to know that someone will listen to your problems. If he really cares about you, he'll take it into consideration and probably try his best to stop these bad habits. If you really care about each other you will work things out, I'm sure. Good luck, babe. =) Hope I helped!
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It seems like you and your boyfriend have a really strong relationship and he really likes you. He is making the wrong decision but if he never told you to smoke or drink or if he doesnt preasure you, you would make the wrong decision braking up with him since he seems like he cares. But if you do decide to dump him don't do it because you know its bad for you that he's da once smoking but break up wit him because he needs to learn that smoking is good for him or anyone around him.
Good luck on making the right decision :)
YouRZ tRuLLy ~ ADvIICe ChIIckA~
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Okay, my EX boyfriend, whom I still love to this very second (2 years now) is starting to smoke and do drugs and drink.. it's a slap in the face when u hear loved ones are doing that type of stuff. The worst thing u could do right now is break up with him, or hate him, both for urself and for him. Now, ur bf seems very special to u and also seems like a good person who just may do some bad things to himself, but never to u. However, if u should get to talk to him, I think u should tell him that u love him, but he actually ISN'T just hurting himself by getting in trouble and doing bad things, but he's also hurting u by not being able to go out, being scared for his health, not talking to him, etc. If u don't get to talk to him, I think he's parents may puit him in rehab for a while, cuz I think that's wat he needs, so it may be a while, but hold strong, and u guys can make it through. If u don't it just wasn't meant to be: Love will find it's way, and if it's meant to be, it will happen. And remember, no matter how bad life gets, ur being weak by turning to things like drugs and alcohol because u're running from life. It's better to just take it because in a quote I read, which is TOTALLY true: "anything in life that doesn't kill u, will only make u stronger." I hope u and ur bf make it, and stand fast my dear :o)
*Mayya
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if he lied 2 u about still smokin then u should break up wit him cuz he might or may b liein about something else. or if u really feel something strong for him give him one more chance and talk 2 him and tell him if u find out he is still doin it again that u would break up wit him bcuz if he is still gona b doin even after being caught then he isn't worth it. and some how try and get his friends 2 talk 2 him about it 2 bcuz the more that talk 2 him about it the more he will think that it really isn't a good idea and he might stop finally. but some ppl really have problems wit addictions so just b there for him so he has someone 2 talk 2 about it and will know he doesn't have 2 resort 2 smokin 2 make him feel better he could talk 2 u or one of his other friends. hope i helped i am more then glad 2 answer ne other questions u have *STEPHANIE*
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i dont think you should break up with him. mostly because i smoke and if i say that you should break up with him jsut because he smokes cigarettes then i would be a hypocrite. but if he never pressures you into smoking or drinking or doing pot then i also see no reason for you to dump him if you really like him.
Added- ok, why dont you just tell all that stuff you told me to your boyfriend? its not doing any good telling some random stranger that you dont care about all that shit.
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that's a very good question! umm i'm sorry you have to go through that. For advice i can only say so many things, but i think you really have to decide what route you want to take in life. I mean people's perceptions of you matter a lot whether people care or not, and i myself also coming from a small town in Wisconsin where everyone knows everyone else and talks about them, know exactly how that works. I always seem to like 'the bad boys' or whatever but that's what makes me who i am. If church, and having a clean and sweet reputation matters a lot to you then i would advise you to decide if this ONE guy is worth all of that. But, i wouldn't just judge him because he may smoke some pot or cigs...and drinks a little. I have a pretty dysfunctional family and i admit i have drank a little, but i've never smoked cigs or done pot, just for the fact that i don't trust myself for when i start...to ever stop. So yeah, like i said, you have to way your values. Say to yourself, if i do this, what will the outcome be? and is he worth it? And if i break up with him, will i be happy?
In reality, it's not the drugs, cigs, and alcohol that's the problem, i mean it's the source but it's really not the problem. The problem is your group of friends, and what people you want to respect you and stuff. There are a lot of great guys in the world (you just have to look hard) and if you ask me, your self worth and reputation is worth a lot more than just one guy.
I hope that helps! :-S
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I don`t think you should break up with him. He didn`t do anything too you. & these days, a lot of people smoke... It`s a common thing now. But, you just have to do what you want too. Don`t break up w/ him just because your friends want you too. It`s between you and him.
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I think you should stay with your boyfriend cuz so far from the looks he didn't abuse you or anything and your friends can't choose your boyfriend if you love him you love him it's ur choice not theres and well even if he smokes just make sure he doesn't do it around you and stay with him he might have bad problems and needs a girl like you to be there for him hope I helped
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