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he did nothing to deserve this!
ok so this is the problem a month ago tommorow i started dating this guy. he treats me like a saint. he says he loves me and his brother and father tell me how good i am for him.in fact that after his life went downhill, im the only thing to make him happy, but im unhappy. im not physically attracted to him. and i kno thats shallow, but he likes to be very physical. today this guy i really like asked me out, i said yes w/o thinking. i really dont want ot hurt the guy im with now. and i refuse to cheat. im so confused and hurting inside like u would not believe. he did nothing to deserve this, its just i felt like i was smothering. maybe im wrong. i kno i am, that i should be able to make myself love him the way he does me, but i cant... i just cant. god please help me, and tell me what to do. im soo confused
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if you are with him and not happy it will never work. why not now let him go and allow him to move on before its to late and he is to far head over heels for you. Plus if you already said yes to the othere guy then it shows your not commited. which is ok if you dont want to be but break it off now before its to hard on him and you feel to stuck.
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You like someone else.
A month isn't enough time to have anything like a real relationship. Honestly, I'd be honest. Tell him that you care about him alot, but that you've been into this other guy since long before you met him, and this guy just asked you out. Tell him that you can't divide your heart between two guys and the truth is that you fell for this other guy first and never got over it, and you can't dedicate yourself to someone else when you have this open question in your life that you've been wanting to answer for a long time.
That follows into the "It's not you, it's me" breakup. You are not the type to cheat, but you can't be emotionally faithful to him like this, and you have to find out if this guy and you can be something, or you'll always be asking yourself "what if"
Apologize, offer to talk with him about it if he wants, but be final in your decision. This is crucial, you can't waver. If you try to break up and fail, you'll have destroyed the relationship anyway and then things will just end later after a ton of fighting and resentment. Be sure you know what you're doing and are committed to it before you bring the subject up.
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No, you can't make yourself love someone you don't. And thats not your fault. I know you don't want to hurt him, but you do need to realize you are hurting yourself to make him happy.
Like I said, you can't make yourself love someone. Best advice would to talk to him, explain how you really feel. Yes it's going to hurt him, but it's going to hurt much more if he found out you were with this other guy, or that so many months later he finds out how you really feel, and never told him. Just be honest.
It's hard and confusing, but you'll be fine, and so will he. The great thing with life is.. It always goes on. :)
Everything heals in time.
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Tell him U need some space once ina while try and tell him how ur feeling. In a relationship trust is one of the most important things. U can't make urself love someone when ur heart is telling you not to. Heres my main advice listen to your heart and not ur head.
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Please please don't stay in this relationship. You will feel even worse when you realize how much time you have wasted on what you know isn't right. Do still try to keep in contact with him and be his friend if at all possible.
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You cant continue in a relationship that you dont want to be in, in the end you'll only end up hurting this guy you're with because you resent him. You may even lash out at him. If you really care about him, maybe you can be friends and tell him that you feel no spark and although you care a great deal for him it would be best if you were only friends.
Even if he hates you for this in the long run it is better to do soemthing now then to just stay in the relationship, especially when you don't want to be in it.
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You cant force yourself to like someone. And it would hurt this guy your going out with more to find out that your just going out with him because you feel bad for him. You also shouldnt go out with someone if it makes you unhappy. The whole point of a relationship is so both people are together..and that part makes them happy. But your not. I think you should tell this guy how your feeling...and break up with him. (be as nice as you can about it though). Then, the guy that asked you out, tell him your sorry but you cant go out with him just yet. You wait for your soon to be exboyfriend to get over it or move on. Then you go out with the other guy. That way he doesnt think you dumped him for the other guy. You might want to tell the other guy whats going on.(depending on if YOU want to). All these ideas are just suggestions or things to think about. You do what you feel you have to in order to be happy. Remember, time will pass...and so will this. Your (ex)boyfriend cant stay mad forever. But just make sure you stay friends with him after you dump him (if you do), or at least try to. Dont stress out too much. It will be ok.
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What I find curious is how you found yourself dating a man to whom you aren't physically attracted. Nevertheless, that's a foregone issue. I think you may be allowing the feelings of others to dictate your present course of action. You tell me how HE feels, his FATHER and BROTHER, and actually, none of that is more important than that which you feel. Bottom line, you're going to have to take this one on the chin. You're afraid to be honest, which is what he deserves, and tell him exactly where he stands with you. It may be a bit painful, but in the long run, you'll both be better off.
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You shouldn't be in a relationship with somebody simply because you feel guilty about leaving them. Although this guy might like you, I'm sur he doesn't want to be with somebody who doesn't want to be with him and isn't being true to himself. You owe it to both you and him to end it. Just be gentle with the guy and say that you don't feel right in the relationship and you don't want to continue and hurt him.
As for this other guy, I'd advise to wait a bit with him, and to take things slowly. You don't want a rebound relationship simply because you find this new guy physically attractive, as that'll only hurt you in the long term. I hope it works out for you.
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well tell him how you feel unless this is some horriable joke to get back at him for making you feel like shit when he tried to be the good one and save you the heart ache.....oh well i believe you, you were in a bitchy mood
no worries and above all thanks hun love ya to death
^^ p.s. gotta love the girlfriend
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Like you said cheating is never good. First of all you should tell your boyfriend how you feel. Just like you told your story. Secondley tell the guy who asked you out if you can wait a wile for a relationship because of a recent break up. Also tell both of them that you will still remain friends.
-shay :-)
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