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i.lost my son and i am thinking of commiting suicide
I'm in the process of wanting to commit suicide as I want to be with my son, I haven't got anyone at all, my partner ignores me blames me for what our son did, he wrote me a letter blameing me and how much he hates me and he wished I was dead instead, I'm having nightmares and dreaming of being with my son so so much, iv tryd to get help and I cant get any at all, I'm on medications and it makes me feel even worse, I sit up each and every night now as iv planned my suicide to the end, as I vet left at him on my own quite alot and i know I wouldn't be found till.i am dead, I need help and I cant get it so what's the point, I wouldn't be missed at all as I'm always on my own anyway, I tryd it last year and it felt so good as it took the pain away what I was feeling, cant believe I am still here, please help me or vive me son advice to help me please, next time I'm going to go somewhere very spe ial so I has to be right I do t want to wake.yp I'm done and fed up, iv found homes for my pets tht iv raised and they don't need me now, thank you for reading
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Want to answer more questions in the Health & Fitness category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
I can assure you that ending your life is not the answer. As a woman of faith, I have my beliefs on what lies on the other side of this life. I truly believe Psalm 34:18 will prove itself to be true in your life, if you allow Him to. The pain is severe and real in this moment, and it will never go away, but it will get better. There are so many things to live for- laughter and sunsets and good food, as well as every individual you encounter that cares about you. Your family, your coworkers, your neighbors-you matter to them more than you know and remember right now.
If the spiritual side of my plea doesn't appeal to you, I understand. Secularly speaking, nobody knows what is on the other side- there is no guarantee that what comes next is any better than now. People hope that they'll be reunited with loved ones who have passed on...but what if absolutely nothing follows? Ending your life is no promise of an escape.
Your life is valuable and you have a purpose. The story of your life can serve the world as you inspire others with your strength. You're here for a reason. Get help. See a counselor, therapist, psychotherapist, or a psychiatrist. Your health insurance can cover these things- just google providers and your insurance name and you can get covered therapy.
1-800-273-8255 This hotline should help you as well.
Press on. You can do this.
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As I answer this question, I am hoping and praying that it is not too late. I hope that I have written this in time to stop you from making a terrible mistake. Your partner is just being a jerk. It is likely that he is hurt and in mourning as well, thus lashing out and saying things that he does not mean. I can assure you that your pets will miss you. Please don't do this to them. Just because you have found care for them, someone to feed them and meet their physical needs, does not mean that person will meet their emotional needs. They need YOU. They see you as their family. They love you unconditionally and they WILL suffer. I lost my cousin a few years back to cancer. HIs little dog, Lola, still searches for him everywhere. She sleeps in his old room and cries constantly. Some family friends of ours lost their mom a few months back. Her dog, Kiara, who is now in their care, looks out the window for her and cries every night. You are not dispensable or replaceable to your furry babies. Please don't do this to them.
God loves you. You can always message me. In me, you have a friend. You can send me a message any time and I will give you my personal e-mail and phone number.
God bless you xoxo
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Hi! I apologize for answering late because my Advicinators emails keep going to the junk folder :(
First of all, please do not commit suicide. As amazing as it seems to have a way out, it isn't the answer. 3 years ago I almost did it, and I'm glad I didn't. I have a good life now that I wouldn't have had if I was dead.
Secondly, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain you're going through, and I realize how strong the need is to want to be with him. My advice is to live one day at a time, take a lot of time for self-care, and focus on what you're able to do. Realize that you are grieving and coping the way you know how, but that suicide is not going to help or make things better.
Your partner was wrong to tell you those things, because they aren't true. No one can truly be a direct cause for someone committing suicide, unless they told someone to kill themselves or aided in the process. People are unpredictable, and when someone goes through with it, it's extremely difficult to stop it.
I truly hope things get better for you, and please feel free to message me any time.
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I am so, so sorry for your loss. It's something no parent should ever have to go through, the pain must be unbearable. You partner is suffering as well and appears to be trying to deflect his pain onto you in an attempt to make some sense of it all. You don't say what happened to your son but even if your partner feels you do have some responsibility for the loss of your son, blaming you like this is still self destructive as well as making you feel even worse about it.
If you're on medication and it's not working you MUST go back to your doctor and let them know, also telling them very clearly how you're feeling. There is help out there for you but it can sometimes take time to find the right one. It's not a one therapy fits all case. We're all different and our needs are just as different. Please, don't give up trying, do you think your son would want you to?
You must know how attached animals get to their humans and the stories of how they suffer when they lose them. You might have found homes for them but it's not going to be the same as being with you and you wouldn't want to make them miserable as well do you?
When you're in a desperate place, it does feel as though no one would miss you and you would be doing the world a favour by leaving it. This is never the case though, it's only because you're thinking in a disjointed way due to the intense grief.
Please, go back to your doctor and get the right medication to suit you. Then get some grief counselling to help you through this. Then get out of the house and do something to help someone or something. As you love animals you could try volunteering at a shelter, reserve or home, whatever there is in your area. It's not going to take the grief away but getting unconditional love from a grateful animal can help to ease how badly you're feeling about yourself.
You have to take everything slowly after a major trauma. Firstly, you have to almost learn again how to take care of yourself. Once you've done that you can go on to other things, like the helping. It's good for the soul and the help you're giving is magnified so much more than you can possibly imagine, then that love and care comes back to you. In turn, that helps to make you feel better about yourself.
It is going to be a long process and you need to gather all your courage to tackle it but it is something you can do. Live your life for your son as well, please don't throw it away. You could do so much good with it and that will help you as well. You're living for two now so don't give up, please? And good luck for the future, it will be a bumpy start but worth it.
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I'm sorry I'm replying late. If you are seeing this . That means that there's something within yourself that desires to live. I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sorry that you and your spouse agent on terms that you should be on. You shouldn't be blamed for the loss of your child. One talk to your doctor about changing meds. Sometimes meds can increase suicidal thoughts. Also try to get out. Of the house find hobbies to do that involves positive people. Your husband may just say the things he's getting because he's hurting too. That still doesn't make it right but for now focus on being in recovery. Focus on getting back to a place of self love. Your son would want you to be happy. Suicide isn't the answer. I hope that this helps you.
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You need to change your living conditions and leave your partner for God's sake.I am really sorry for your son, but its not the end. I donot think, your parents brought you up, for someday you would commit suicide. Engage yourself in activities you love. And I dont know your age, but you might be a potential mother for other little ones to come.But only if you give your life a second chance.
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you will be missed by friends and your relatives. that is so sad i am sorry that happened, know bad things happen to good people. life is worth living. there is hope in Jesus Christ and God, go unto them for comfort and through this hard time you wont regret it. and your partner is grieving guess that is how dealing with it. try counseling too. your pets wouuld miss you too. life is hard sometimes, but worth living . suicide is not the option. will take time to heal but you will. if anything bring awareness to what your son did, and depending on why you could share your story with others. hope you get better soon will be in my prayers.
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Loosing someone is never something easy and it is worse still when you blame yourself for the loss. You said that you had a letter, was that letter from your partner telling you it was your fault? If so, then you need to remember that it is easy for someone to blame everyone else instead of taking responsibility and your partners way of dealing with these emotions is to place all the blame on you while thinking he/she is not to blame at all. With something like this blame is always passed around at who might be at fault but I believe things are just not that simple at all.
Did you know that your son was having some kind of problems? Did he come to you to talk to you about them or come to your partner saying he needs help? If not that I can't see how you can be blamed at all - we are not mind readers and even as parents we have certain instincts but those instincts go only so far - unless someone comes to us saying they need help and are willing to accept that help, it can be very hard to help them. I have no idea why your son did what he did but what you can't do is blame yourself or allow others to blame you and killing yourself I believe is selfish. You don't honour your son by doing what he did and it certainly won't fix anything either. I have had to deal with many people who wanted to commit suicide and what they all failed to do was realise the impact it would have on others. They said it would make the pain go away, make them feel better because they won't have to feel anything but the people they leave behind in their wake are the ones they will hurt and are the ones who have to deal with it. You are in a unique position to see how what happened to your son has impacted on you so you know all too well what would happen to those around you if you followed suit and did what your son did. Yes it may feel like everyone hates you or wants nothing to do with you but that doesn't mean they will not care if something happened to you.
Seek out someone who you can talk to. I don't know where you are from but try talking to your GP and explain how you feel and what you have considered doing and if they are able to refer you to someone you can talk to or get help from, they will be able to do this and refer you to someone. Talking about how you are feeling will help. Good luck and don't give up on life so easily. People around the world die every day from the most pathetic of things like hunger and starvation, something in this day and age should never happen and they struggle to hold on to their very last breath to live - so should you.
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I understand how you feel. I lost a son too. My baby was a stillborn and it hurt immensely I never even got to meet him outside of my tummy. So I can't imagine the pain of raising my boy and then losing him. I am so sorry for your loss. I know you are hurting and I know you want to go be with him but you are still here on earth because you are still meant to do something. It's not your time yet and your son is there with you every night when you are sad he holds you while you cry. He loves you and he lives on through you. So something great in honor of him. Maybe tell your son's story to someone and maybe that will save their life. There is no problem with asking for help you can always call 1-800-273-8255 it's a suicide prevention line they will talk to you as long as you need and refer you to different places that can help you in your area if need be theready are people answering phones 24 hours a day. If you don't feel like talking on the phone you can always go to suicideproventionlifeline.org and click live chat where you can text or chat online with someone instead. They can help you either talk it out or get you some therapy and even provide you with coping skills until you get into your first session. I am so sorry for your loss I promise you that you can and will get through this. Until thenow feel free to write back any timevent if you need to talk.
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Dear Thinking:
Please don't do this. The loss of a child creates almost unbearable pain on it's own. When you have no support from family and friends, it can make you feel alone and helpless. No one can fault you for the condition that you're in. However, suicide is never an option. Life is precious. Taking your life is the most devastating things you could do.
Now that I'm aware that you are suicidal, I'm responsible for helping you to receive the help that you need, so I'm pleading with you to contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. 1-800-273-8255. A skilled, trained crisis worker who works at the Lifeline network center closest to you will answer the phone. This person will listen to you, understand how your problem is affecting you, provide support and share any resources that may be helpful. Talking with someone about your thoughts and feelings can save your life.
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I am so sorry for your loss. Please dont do this. Just because his time here with you has ended it doesnt mean your time has to end!!!! Part of life is experiencing loss. I know this loss is extremely difficult but you will get through this. Please know and trust that things will get better. You will always feel the pain of this loss but time will help you manage. Your life is changing and has changed. Things will get better I promise you. Please please please believe that I beg you.
You say that no one cares for you, you dont know that and you are wrong because i dont know you and I care for you. I dont get paid for writing to you.
So start to change your thoughts. You need time to mourn your son and you should take that. Online support groups are great for support.
In your town there may be things you can join or volunteer. Start to change your circle of friends/acquaintances and watch your life change for the better. It takes time but its worth it and in the end you can feel proud that you changed your life. It is possible! You are not alone. Dont feel ashamed or guilty this is not your fault.
There is alot of support on here and you can write to me on here anytime. You are a good person.
Sending you lots of love!! I know you will be fine just start making some changes asap. One day at a time
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It is no coincidence that your letter came to my inbox. I just lost my own son less than two months ago. I understand your pain.There is no worse pain in the world than losing a child. As a parent there is always self blame. I have agonized a million times over everything I might have done differently and maybe he would still be alive, but it won't bring him back. If I thought for one minute suicide would let me be with him again, of course I would. But I don't believe it and neither do you deep down, or you would have already done it. I have thought long and hard about how to accept this tragedy and for me there is only one answer. I have to think of what my son would have want. I didn't always take time to listen to his problems. I didn't always say or do the right thing so I feel I owe it to him to listen now. He was the most forgiving person I ever knew, so I know if I could talk to him again he would forgive me. I also know he would want the best life for me that I could possibly have because that is what I wanted for him too. Anything less than this would dishonor his memory. I think you should just take some quiet time and connect with your son's spirit. He will want good things for you, I promise. If anyone is blaming you or bringing negativity into your life ask yourself if your son would want that for you. If the answer is no(and you know it is) then do as your son would wish and remove those people from your life until they can get some help to deal with the situation appropriately. Live your life in a way that will honor your son's memory. Do all you can to help others. Make your son proud. You will feel his spirit with you always. His body is gone ,but his energy, his life-force, his spirit, are still here and he wants to help you. He IS helping you already. Let his spirit heal you. All the shame, guilt, hurt and pain will leave you. In the end the love is what remains.
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On this site, no one will help someone to end their life. You may be very depressed due to your situsation and not seeing possible paths to take. I don't know but I will address the qusetions at least raised in my mind from the choice of words you put down. But before I go into that, I want to share with you a helpline number in case you have not thought of calling. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Call 1-800-273-8255
Now you say you lost your son. I do not know if this was in a custody battle or if you meant he died in an accident or committed suicide himself. The only other "lost" scenerio I can think of is if this is an adult son who decided to cut you out of his life and just disappear. Depending on the actual situation, there are possible ways to address your issue and learn ways to find peace or a solution.
I'll tell you what it does sound like, and it doesn't matter if the son was an infant or anything inbetween up to adult aged. This sounds like something that couples go through when losing a child, the stress and the grieving is bad enough but when a partner begins to blame you for a chlids death even if in truth there was nothing you could do as a parent to help the son. Some people are drawn closer to support each other through a hard time and for others, it tears apart the relationship, that is if both are not willing to go for counseling. If this is the case, both of you need to see a professional ASAP but if you can't get to that moment, then calling the crisis line I posted should be your first move.
If a court decreed in a divorce and custoday battle that you will not get the son, I do not know under what reasons they made that decision but If you truly believe it all based on falsehoods made up about you, get another lawyer and appeal it. If a partner just grabbed the kid and disappeared with it, you have as much right to the child and your partner can not hog the child to hisself especially if you both are not divorced or at least there is no court ordered parenting plan. One should get the child weekdays and other on the weekends or alternating weekends. While not the ideal, at least by going through the courts you can assure that you will have your son around enough to continue to have a relationship with him. I could continue to write a entire essays worth to go over all possibilities. I listed the couple examples to show you there are path to take, it's not like you do not have any options, even though thats all you see right now due to your emotions. Your medications may not be helping much and you might start with seeing your Dr. to get on something that works better for you.
While working on new meds, you could try also a non medical way to ease or get rid of depression or anxieties that may be plaguing you. If its either of those conditions, I know of a process some psychologists are using these days called CBT, cognitive, behavioral therapy. It helps rid me of social anxiety. I have belief in these methods as many folks no longer have depression. Just to give you hope, please check out the website of an author/former psychologist who uses the CBT method. I've read his books, some were at my library. In case I am right about the depression/anxieties, you owe it to yourself to give this a try or at least check out the website, see the list of books. Listen to some of his podcasts, and read the comments of people who wrote in, having been helped hy his books.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
You may write back with any clarifications, although I would still tell you the same things. I wish you the best in life and a bright hopeful future.
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No thats the last thing your son would of wanted, you need to seek professional help to overcome this...... I know losing a child is unbearable and may seem like your life is over but ITS NOT and even though it may seem like people dont care trust me when I say someone does...... Now you say you wanna be with your son and I get that but he will always be with you and I dont mean to get all religious but if you do this you wont be with your son....... The one act God cant forgive is taking your own life, Im sorry things always get better trust me, when I was younger I tried to commit suicide and I thank GOD everyday that Im still here and you should too, get help, go to support groups for people who've lost there kid it will help talking to someone who knows EXACTLY what your going through
GOOD LUCK XOXOXOX just knoW Someone cares.... ❤💛💙💜
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I think it's essential you find the phone number of the Samaritans (or similar) wherever you live when you have a more lucid moment and keep it on you at all times. And find someone (anyone) to be with you as much as you possibly can right at the moment. What you do not want to be is on your own. You sound at just about the darkest hour here? You need to get through this by whatever means. Your death will not achieve anything, or change anything for the better. Your life may well do.
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