x0xdearachelx0x's advice column

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Q: What are some good sites i can go to for music on my Xanga?

www.xanga.com/numba1_music_source

they have all of these links to xanga's with every kind of music

-Rachel

Q: Hey im 14 and i have never had a boyfriend(i kno it is pathetic but thats the way it is). Well there is this boY at school that i really like. We talk sometimes but not much. I wanna tell him how i fell but i dont kno if i should and if i shold then how would i tell him.If i do tell him i dont want him to feel weird around me if he dosent like me back. PLEASEE HELP ME IF YOU CAN!

I think you should tell him. Its better that he finds out from you than some random person right? And maybe you'll find out that he feels the same way. If he doesnt, you'll probably be able to build up your friendship again. I liked this guy and he found out cause supposedly I was "obvious" about it, but now I dont like him anymore and we're friends. So it all works out in the end, dont worry!

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: This summer, this girl moved across the street from me. It's been six months and we've been best friends ever since. For the past month or two she has been annoying me and we get into arguements like every day. She copies everything everyone does... it's likes she can't even be herself. Im not even sure I really know her. Not to mention... she thinks it's my fault that I get mad at the things she does. I don't not wanna be friends with her! What do I do?

Just tell her to change or she's not your friend anymore. Tell her you dont believe in her being someone else and that you think she should really be herself. If she doesnt listen and gets all mad then she's not a real friend. A real friend woulld value what you have to say and what you think.

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: okay well im 14 and in the 8th grade i started my period in the 6th grade and i only go for 2 days every tiem i have it maybe 3 but i only had it moer then 3 like 2 other times in my life and they were really light.. im not a lil tiny girl but im not fat or anything im just a regular girl and i was wondering if its normal or not, i saw that there was someone else asking that but usally she has it for 5 she said i always have it for 2 :-/ i promise ill rate 5!

Well.. its usually 5-7 days but it could go for 3.. I think you should tell your parents or doctor about it. Tell them your concerned.

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: Hey! My boyfriend and I have been going out for ten months in March, and I really think that him and I are in love. Not just in a physical sense, but him and I connect mentally. We both really enjoy intellectual discussions about anything and everything. We can talk about any problems that we're having and the other can almost always relate. We can stay on the phone for hours at a time and not get bored, and both of us are extremely loyal to the other. We're just like best friends excluding the romance part. We're really close. The only thing is, sometimes it gets so discouraging when people say we're too young to be in love. I know we're both in love with each other, but other than getting married when we're able to (He and I are both fourteen), how can we deal with annoying old people who think love can only be understood at a certain age? Thanks in advance.

Well, I believe you are in love. I guess older people dont believe it because when they were our age their parents said the same things to them.. so that made them believe it too. I dont think you should listen to what other people say, eventually they'll leave you two alone. Just keep telling them the truth and hopefully one day they'll realize you truly are in love.

-Rachel

Q: Ive known this guy since 7th grade, were in 10th now. So anyways, we never really got along until about the end of 8th grade. And then i found out he has a crush on me, and it was the most obvious crush ive seen before, lol. I told him i wanted to be just friends and he said he was cool with that up until recently. He started acting like guy who was crushing on me again, and this time its more like a I WANT YOU HORRIBLY! type thing cuz he cant keep his hands off me. Now my problem is that part of me wants him, and he wants me, but im not sure if i should go for it because weve been friends for so long. I want to do it, but then i dont. Has anyone been in this situation, what did you do? It just feels so akward and confusing!

I think you should try going out with him. Because if its already 'invading' your relationship you might as well go for it.

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: This girl and i have been realy good freinds since the day we met(she was in 7th and I in 8th). last year we started liking eachother and then we ended up dating for like a week or two and then she ended up moving to a town 45 minutes away so we stopped dating. we sorta lost contact for a little but but then reconnected and picked up our friendship where it left off. well she then again moved all the way to texas(i live in california) and we lost contact all together for a while. Once again we reconnected and started talking more and soon she moved back to the town 45 minutes away from me. now that she lives there agian weve been talking almost every day on the phone or online and we even got to see eachother the other weekend for the first time since the summer. We both want to see eachother more and since the other weekend old feelings have arrisen and we both REALLY like eachother again(i havent stopped thinking about her since). we both want to date but the distance seems sumwhat of a setback since she doesnt drive because shes not old enough and i dont either because im busy to get my license. we both really care about eachother and want to be with eachother, and im there 100% to making the relationship work if she commits knowing that the distance will be a setback to seeing eachother regularly. should we try dating a see what happens? would a long( but realatively short) distance relationship between us work? i would greatly appreciate your help and advice.

I think you should at least try. If you two still have feelings for eachother after all this time, I think its worth it. The long/short-distance may or may not be a bad thing. You'll just have to find out!

Good Luck!!!
-Rachel

Q: im so ttoaly lost i really need help. Nothin feels right between me and my boyfriend. we have been going out for a while and well everything was great and now nothing feels right... i mean he is doing things he knows will piss me off and hes not really telling me anyhinghting anymore... i dont know what to do and i really need help and some one jsut to tlak to...... PLEASE HELP ME !!!!!

I would break up with him. If he knows whatever he's doing is bothering you then he obviously doesn't care about you.

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: Okay well Im going out with this kid Lucas... he is a year younger then me... Im 13 hes 12... I have never made out with anyone... & I am really ashamed of that kinda... idk... so yea weve been goin out for 3 weeks today... and hes on my bus n all my friends are stupid n they are always tryin to get us to make out n stuff... n I just feel like weird especially on the bus where everyone can see us... I dont know if he has ever made out with anyone... I think he has because his last g/f he went out wit he was with for almost a year... also in the back of my mind I keep thinking that he doesnt really like me and i cant help but be paranoid... n Ive been ignoring sitting with him on the bus n stuff just to avoid kissing n stuff... idk..

So I guess im just asking for advice on what to do about kissing and how to stop being so paranoid! any help you can give would be great!!

thanx so much!

WEll, first off, I think you should find out if you want to kiss him or not. If you do, then you should just relax and try to be confident. I dont think avoiding the problem helps. If you dont want to then just tell your friends the next time they're like "Kiss him!" that you dont want to.

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: I really like this guy and hes home for vacation and so am i but i dont know if i should ask him if he wants to hang out or how. I mean we are really good friends but he has a girlfriend (who isnt home and hes thinking of breaking up with) but we never talk on the phone and he cant go online cuz his comps broken.....ugh what do i do!

Dear Diane,

I think you should just call him. And ask if he wants to hang out with you and a friend or something.

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: Hi,
I'm 5"7, aged fourteen and weigh ten stone (which is 140 pounds I think). I know this isn't majorly overweight or anything, but I feel fat and would like, if possible, to gradually get down to nine stone (126 pounds). I wouldn't mind if this took, say a few months.
I exercise regulary but find it hard to stop snacking between meals. Has anyone got any tips into how to stop this?
Or any other gradual-dieting tips.
Any advice would be very much appreciated :-)

Well, to stop snacking between meals, you could have better meals. Like eat protein and all that nutricious stuff. Also try not to eat a few hours before you go to sleep.

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: when i get older im thinking about like adopting 2 kids and having 2 kids, does anyone have any ideas on why this would be a bad idea? i want to adopt because i dont want all my kids to have the same traits as me, but then i wanna have 2 of my own because having a baby that came from you is..good, right? do you think i would favor the kids i created over the ones a adopted?? suggestions, please??! thank you~~~!!!!!!

Well it really matters who you are, but first of all if you adopt, make sure the kids know that you adopted them!! If you adopt and have kids I dont see anything wrong with that!

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: My roommate has been in the hospital for almost a week now. It started out as a tooth ache, and turned into a ballooned up face. It's something that's usually pretty routine, and fixed by a week or so of penicillin and a root canal, but the penicillin din't work and it only got worse very quickly.

She feels really ugly because of her face, and has been worrying because of her tooth. Instead of just a root canal, they may have to pull the entire tooth, and it's a tooth near the front of her mouth.

I've been to see her off and on, her family has been coming, even as far as a few states over, and her boyfriend has been at the hospital pretty much non-stop so that she isn't alone there.

I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas of things that I could do for her to make her feel better.

Maybe you could bring her a big gift bag or something, maybe stuff to do in the hospital, your favorite.. whatever!

Hope she feels better!!
-Rachel

Q: I like these two guys and they are best friends and I don't know who I like more. I'm not sure if one of them likes me but I'm possitive the other one does. Any advice?

I think you should go with the one who likes you, cause if your positive where on the other guy your not so positive, if you go with the guy who doesnt like you, you could be losing something else with the guy who does.

Did that makes sence? lol. Hope I helped!

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: My dog urinates on my mothers pillow every few weeks I have no idea why. Can you give me any ideas why? Thanks. (PS- we have no other pets)

because its not trained maybe?

you should ask your mom to call a trainer

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: 14/f i have trouble with cutting my self and i really dont kno what to do!!! any advice would be nice!

Have you ever seen Degrassi? Well a charachter on that show cuts herself, Ellie, and she goes to her schools guidance councelor. You should try that. Theres also this thing, you put a rubberband around your wrist and when you feel like cutting you just snap it against your wrist. Its some sort of therapy.

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: my best friends sit next to each other in social studies and english and they've been cheating on each other and nnow my whole class is cheating except for me and a few other people... and i don't know if i should tell some one because i want them to stop... because i don't want them to get caught and i just want them to be ok and stuff so what should i do?

I think you should talk to them and make sure they know the consequences of cheating. If they dont listen then threaten to tell the teacher. If they get mad at you, just remember- its not your fault. Eventually, they'll get cought and they will realize how mean they were to you and that you really were right in the first place.

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: ok i have a best friend...that is a guy he is so awesome we get along so well...but i think i'm starting to like him...we have already talked about how it would be if we dated...that we don't want to ruin our friendship...i mean he did say that it would be cool if we dated we are just scared that things arn't going to work

but when girls sit there and say o i love you, your so hott...it really pisses me off he knows this becaouse i have told him...i just don't know what i should do about it...because i really want us to have something more...i'm just scared of our friendship

Of course everyone gets scared of losing a friendship when they go into a relationship. But if you really like him you should go for it. If your not meant to be together you two will realize that and hopefully you'll stay friends afterwards.

Good Luck
-Rachel

Q: im trying to lose wieght by not eating after 730ish because i heard that this would work. Does this really work? and even if it does, how long will i see results. one more thing, i eat kinda lot when i get home from school so is there an effect?

The reason people say that eating ((usually)) 4 hours before you go to sleep is bad, is because when your lying in bed your body cant burn the sugar you ate so it just turns into fat. Eating after school doesnt have a big effect on anything. If you want to lose weight you should also try to go for a walk everyday.. or work out at home.

Good Luck!
-Rachel

Q: theres this guy who i met when i came to a new school.. he was really funny and wed talk alot.. except hes really perverted and every joke he makes deals with something nasty... i found out that he liked me and it totally ruined our friendship.. i mean i feel so uncomfortable around him because of the thoughts he has and the fact that he likes me just makes me disgusted.. he asked me to the dance at the end of the year and said yes.. cuz i thought we could go as friends.. but i found out that he STILL liked me.. i cant talk to him anymore.. what do i do.. should i like still go to the dance with him.. i dunno gimme some thoughts

Hmm.. I think if he really bothers you that much then just say "Heyy, we're going to the dance as just friends, right?". Make sure he knows you dont like him back. If you're really uncomfortable then dont go at all!

Good Luck!
-Rachel

bio

Heyy people! I am 13 years old and I have like rllllly long brunette hair, hazel eyes, and im pretty tall! I LOVE to sing, dance, act, hang out with my friends, shop!, go to the movies, and give advice!