vintagesmiles's advice column

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Q: I just finished reading Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld. When I go to the library I never seem to be able to find a book that actually looks interesting to me. Like all the books are about 26 year old single women that work for a magazine in New York City. Does anybody know of any books kind of like Prep, more for teenage girls .. that are good? Titles and authors would be great.

The Clique
Best Friends for Never
Revenge of the Wannabes
Invasion of the Boy Snatchers
The Pretty Committee Strikes Back
and,
Dial L for Loser

all of these books by Lisi Harrison.

:) hope i could help.

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Q: I probably am the only person who thinks this,
but I really would like a boyfriend, and to be in love. I dont see whats wrong with me, I dont think there is anything that cant be accepted.

But I have this thing in the back of my mind, that maybe God doesnt want me to have love, and maybe he says I'm meant NOT to. And it scares me, bceause if thats so, I cant do anything about it..

I dont know if this makes sense,
but help?

God always wants what is best for us, he is always there to lead, guide and direct us. when you're meant/ready to fall in love and it's for a fact God is going to make sure that you do. he has a plan for each and everyone of us and i'm sure there isn't one of us that he doesn't want to be in love and have that feeling. just be patient. he's got something great planned for you, it just takes time. hope i could help. :)

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Q: so i'm 14/f and i weigh 130 and i'm 5'4 almost 5'5. i want ot lose weight like 10 15 pounds cause i feel like i'm over weight, can anyone give me some pointers to losing weight kinda fast? my dad said that theres a new diet, and you eat alot in the morning and when your at school and stuff you burn it off and then you slow down at dinner and stuff, does that make any sense?

i understand what your dad is suggesting, when we are at school we tend to burn more calories because we are moving more and being more active. once we get home we are usually tired and tend to sit a lot. he is saying eat a lot in the first half of your day because with all the things going on at school you'll burn off most of your intake. when you get home eat less because you wont use the food for energy, therefore it will be stored as fat. i've also heard if you don't eat after 7:00pm or drink caffene (sp?) you will loose a lot of weight. not sure why that is, but that's what my mom does and it seems to work for her. so good luck! hope i could help! :)

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Q: i have a sweating problem and my doctor told me i could get botox injections in my underarms which would prevent the exsesse sweating, the doctor gave me the papers that ask a lot of questions such as: is the probelm tolerable? Is it very noticeable? The reson for them is so i think the insurance company or someone reads them to see if the insurance company will cover the cost of it. Well i sent those papers out in the end of january begining of february. My mom said it would be a long time before we hear from them and for me to get the injections, but how long would be actually take? Im going to florida on april 17 and i wont to get them before then.

try wearing really light colored shirts, or really dark colored shirts. also, it will probably be warm so try a halter top, sweat rings won't show. ask your doctor, or a pharmacist etc about deodorants, and which kind is the best for eliminating sweat. hope i could help. :)

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Q: Where can I get long tube socks
that are white with a stripe color at the top?

I need stores, not online places.

:) Thanks!

try any sports store :
champs
hibbetts (sp?)
finish line
any place like that.
:)

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Q: my bestest friend is probably making out with her bf right now and im a bit jelous because the one boy i really like likes me back but we vcant be together and im kind of like uch right now because her life is going so smoothly and mine is to but its not as intresting but usually she feels this about me and im so happy that shes finally happy how do i get over this jelousy.? because ive seen jelousy tear up friendships but i dont want that to happen beteen me and my friend we are bestest friends till the end
i know im so lucky to even have a best friend but im just kind of like jelous that somones life is "better" then mine i know it sounds retarrded but its tru

you shouldn't wait on the boy to ask you out if you know he likes you and you like him. maybe he's waiting on you to make the first move and that's okay. go for it. then you won't be so caught up in your best friend's life. you four as two couples could hang out and it would be a lot of fun and you wouldn't have a reason to be jealous anymore. also, try handling your jealousy problems with jesus. :) he will do wonders. hope i could help.

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Q: look i'm really scare of showing my inner self because i am kind fat and you will see me wearing balck shirts and if not a will were black sweaters. my mom tells me that i am very pretty
and that i have beautiful green eyes and that i have some big stuff that i have to let it show but i'm scare people will call me names like fat stuff and fat *ss. And also i like this guy but like i told you .please help me? i want him to like me but i'm scare too. heeeeeelllllppppp. please.

if you're that concerned about your weight do something about it, i know thats easier said then done trust me i know how you feel. join a sport or something. but sometimes personality is stronger then looks, so if you have an amazing personality people aren't going to walk all over you. i know beautiful girls that are heavy and they're even more pretty because their attitudes. so just have good self esteem, don't be so hard on yourself and just enjoy your life. don't hide. :) hope i could help.

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Q: so the cutest guy that i work with has a crush on me or should i say HAD. the deal is taht hes 24 and im only 17 and the other night when he tried to kiss me good night i freaked out and told him that i didnt think i was ready and that mabye we could another time. But then the next time i went to work he wouldnt even give me the time of day! we said hi and everything but he went from loving me to completely ignoring me! i really do like him but how do i let him no that? ps i no its risky cause hes older but idc anymore

i doubt he has lost interest in you, maybe he is just embarassed because you turned him down when he tried to kiss you. you would feel the same way. don't stop talking to him, i would be really sweet to him and then when he's least expecting it kiss him to show that you are interested in him you just weren't ready the first time. since you're going out of your way to show him that you care about him he will understand and things should go back to normal. :) hope i could help!

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Q: i just started getting dandruff this past year. its really annoying - i use head and shoudlers but i still have it! why did i just start randomly getting it? how do i stop? what can i do?

dandruff is usually caused by dryness of the scalp, so i would recommend the shampoo selsum blue. you can get it at walmart. also, i would try using more conditioner and make sure you massage your scalp good because that will get rid of all the dead skin which causes dandruff. just make sure you don't use too much or it will result in making your hair oily. hope i could help! :)

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Q: Okay, the other day at school a lot of high school kids came to our school and my best friends sister came. My best friend (shelby) also has another sister that goes to my school(nicole), so me, shelby, her older sister(brianna), and nicole and HER best friend (Rachael) were sitting there talking to her Brianna. Me and rachael already know brianna because we have gone over to her younger sisters houses so we know her pretty well. So, rachael goes up to brianna and they give eachother a hug. Then i go up to her and try to give her a hug and she dosent hug back and it was really embarrising. She gave everyone a hug except for me. Then i thought, "o great, next year when i go to high school, i will have no friends" I thought this because Brianna would hug everybody but me and i am scared that i am just not ready for high school. I know that this has nothing to do with high school but i already dont have a boyfriend and all my other friends do and they r way more expeirienced so those are two reasons i think i am not ready and i feel ugly and like a baby. I know this may not seem like a big deal to everybody but to me it is, so could someone please help? Thanks so much! :)

don't worry. i felt exactly how you're feeling before i went into highschool. all of my best friend's had older siblings at the highschool so a lot of people knew them and i always felt like i wouldn't be popular or have a lot of friends once i got there like i did in middle school. in highschool there isnt really "a most popular group" or person, everyone hangs out with different people, sure they have their cliques but there is so many more people in highschool no one really pays attention to silly stuff like that. maybe that girl just isn't looking forward to you coming to highschool because she may feel you are a threat to her and all the guys will be looking at you. and dont worry about having a boyfriend, it's better you'll be going to highschool single so you will get a chance to look at all the older guys (because believe me, once your in highschool you really don't pay attention to the freshman guys) and not be tied down! don't worry about being less experienced, that just makes you look less like a slut. i mean in middle school all of us thought boys liked you more if you did "stuff" but now we realize if thats all a guy wants they aren't worth it! so hang in there and you have a few more months of school and all summer to meet highschoolers, go to places they hang out at and just smile at everyone and don't be shy. you'll fit right in. :) hope i helped!

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Q: ok my boyfriends friend just died. liek i have no idea what to say to him. i feel so bad

aww, i'm sorry. firstly just tell him that you will be there for him no matter what, and you know he's going through a rough time right now but you want to help him get through it and you will be by his side the whole way. try to make him laugh and keep his mind off of his loss. hope i could help. :)

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Q: Ok this question is going to be kind of deep, so here goes. When I was 14 I lose my virginity to my first love. I'm 19 now and married to another man. My first love, Tim, and I have been on and off since I was 14. No matter what we always seem to find a way back to each other. The problem is, I have been married now almost 2 years to this other man. BUT I still find myself thinking (alot) about my first, Tim. I don't know if I am in love with him still, or what. I am so confused. Everytime we bump into one another it's like that spark never left. Please help asap.

it sounds to me like you still love him, and obviously there is something there between the two of you or you wouldn't feel this way. if you really think about him a lot too then i think maybe you and tim are meant to be together but the guy you married is keeping you apart. i believe there is always going to be something between you and your first love, that's natural but i think that you and your first love are truly meant to be together and fates trying to bring you together again. just wait it out and follow your heart. :) hope i could help!

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Q: okay, first off i am 15. the guy i like is 19. we really get along greatly, we talk on the phone for hours and never run out of things to say. we even finish each other's sentences sometimes. a lot of people have been saying he just "wants some" but, mostly everyone knows i'm not that way, including him. i really like him but i dont want to be called a whore for dating him considering everyone says college boys only want one thing. another thing i worry about is my parents. what they would think if i told them. what should i do about people talking about me? please help me. :(

first off, it's only 4 years difference. that's practically like a freshman dating a senior which is normal. it doesn't matter what people say about you, your true friends will stick by your side and be there for you all the way through no matter what choice you make. plus, this sounds like a great match so don't loose hope. :) hope i helped!

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Q: ok lets say my best friends who are also best friends with my crush tell me that my crush (who says he likes me) never actually liked me or maybe that he was only using me to get some, what's a good answer to that? (not to my crush, but what do i tell me friends that will sounds cool and not too hurt and stuff, and something not too mean so i dont have to worry about them telling him about it) what do you think?

it sounds like your friends may be jealous that he likes you, and they know you like him back so they will say anything to keep you from dating him. and by them saying "he just wants some" they are referring to you as a slut so obviously they aren't being the best of friends. if they said that to you i personally would be like "you're just jealous because he wants some from me and not you" then say "just kidding, but you all as my friends should know me better then that." hope i helped doll! :)

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Q: just wanted to know some peoples favorite songs. no screamo please. haha (:

thanks
xoxo

the last mile by cinderella (it's classic rock)

beat it by michael jackson

tell me lies by fleetwood mac

fire and rain by james taylor

you've got another thing coming by judas priest

tuesdays gone by lynyrd skynard

amy by pure praire league

:)

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Q: Okay, so me and my school went to our One Act competition to do the play "Cut" by Ed Monk.
What we recieved that night was extremely unfair, and I want to hear if you think it's unfair too.
Our school isn't the richest, and all the schools we went up against have got money.
1. We got a STANDING ovation in the B division, and we were the only ones.
2. The judges ripped our piece apart in critiques.
3. A schools were INTIMIDATED by US in the B division before we even got on stage and afterwards, ALL of the schools absolutely LOVED us. LOVED us. We got so much support.
4. We went to the award ceremony. All of the schools got many awards. We recieved ONE award for comedy. Later we found out that 2 of our cast members got awards as well, but they "mysteriously" disappeared.
5. The final awards came and we didn't place. Our entire school was crying their eyes out, because we got singled out. It wasn't fair.
6. ALL of the schools came up to us and wondered why we didn't win or place, even the A schools.
7. Some guy called our director a dirtball.

This was truly unfair and I've never EVER been treated with so much disrespect in my life. Looks like only the schools care about us. It was unprofessional, unfair, and embarrassing.

Do you think it was unfair?

i think it was very much unfair and set up. i dont understand what the judges had against your school but all that matters is that you got support. you don't need an award to know that you all did amazing and you will always remember that everyone else thought it was awesome and judges were just immature and unfair. but congratulations for doing great, don't let anyone keep you all from being proud of yourselves! :)

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Q: ok well i really like this guy named tacquin and i just found out he has a girlfriend and he has had one for three weeks now and last weekend i had sex with him and i just realized that he had a girlfriend and i dont know what to think is it a bad think please help me:'(

don't blame yourself, it isn't your fault. you didn't know he had a girlfriend and he didn't tell you so obviously he was just thinking of himself. although you aren't dating this guy and you probably shouldn't have done that with him anyhow everyone makes mistakes and i'm not here to judge you. i don't think you should feel guilty because he was being self centered. don't dwell on it, or it will only make it worse. i hope i could help! :)

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Q: How do you make your armpit look nice, and no hair like celeberties? Like celebs when they sing or something and on movies they always raise their arms and like it's all clear, no hair, and you can't even see like dots of hair starting to grow! It's like they never grew armpit hair!

I know you would say wax, but then the next day hair will start to grow but it can't wax it because you can only see little dots.

you mentioned you would be able to see dots even after waxing the following day, but a few of the girls on my cheerleading squad waxed their arm pits and their hair didn't even begin to grow back until about 2 months later. i think it worked excellently. after you wax them, if that's what you choose to do apply some lotion so they do not dry out or become irritable from the wax. next i would just take a cold or hot wash cloth and hold it under each arm pit for a minute or so. hope i could help! :)

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Q: my "UnOfficial" bestfriend (we love eachother and would probably die for eachother, but have a "we-pretend-to-hate-eachother" kinda friendship, like we act like enemies but we're not) is my cousin. And her birthday is in 10 days, I need to buy her the perfect gift to say "I Love You" but it cant be anything cheesy like a picture-album because 1: we dont have any pictures together since we're "enemies" and 2: that would be too much since we're not used to epressing our care for eachother.

What could I buy/make her that would be REALLY heart-warming, but not too much?

for my best friend's birthday i got a scrap book type thing with 100 pages in it (not the kind with photo slots) and i wrote on the outside "100 reasons why you're my best friend" with a picture of us. on every page i wrote something different. ex: #1.i love the way you make me laugh when i'm upset, #2.i love how we rent tons of movies on the weekend and watch them for hours, etc etc. she really loved it. she even cried (but in a good way). i hope i could help! :)

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Q: Usually I go on a special diet when I need/want to loose a few pounds.
I decided to do my usual diet and start actually working out.
Meaning; lifting weights,working on abs,doing more muscle building machines.
After I started doing that, instead of loosing weight ive been gaining it.
Usually, I dont gain weight that easily because I didnt go off my diet[that much haha].
Do you think Im gaining weight because of my eating habits or is it muscle?
Ive gained like 3 pounds.
tHanks!

it's more then likely muscle. muscle weighs more then fat and if you're working out your muscle is replacing fat in your body. hope i could help. :)

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bio

i love jesus.

my family and friends are amazing.

smiling is my favorite.

i'm usually a pretty happy person.

i'm kind of shy, not stuck up.

i'm addicted to texting.

the 70's and 80's own me.

we will probably get along. (: