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July 11, 2009Answers:
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I'm Victoria, hense VictoriadviceI love to give advice, I do NOT judge, and I love trying to help everyone and their situation. Even if I don't help much it makes me feel good to know I tried and did my part.
I love that I found this site because I've always been trying to find a way to have a site where I can give advice and where people might actually come to me for it, and I hope that some of you will give me a shot :)
Alot of times it is easier to talk to strangers about things, especially when it's about something you find you can't go to anyone else about.
I might not be one of the older people on here but that doesn't necessarily make me any less wiser or any worse at giving advice. It actually means I can probably relate to more of you better.
And I might not have a fancy paid account but I think mine looks alright and it doesn't stop me from being able to use it for what it's for, giving advice :)
Inbox me! I'd love to hear from anyone and everyone and I'm ready to try and help.
advice
I graduated in 2007. I am 19 female. I am attending a community college. I want to do something with a criminal justice degree but i dont know what. i have no direction and it is bringing me down. can anyone help me???
I think this site could probably help you out
So check it out and read what it has to say
http://www.worldwidelearn.com/online-education-guide/criminal-justice/criminal-justice-major.htm
I hope it helps :)
Victoriadvice
It is a romantic older song its a man singing it it goes something like what did i do or say it would be a good wedding song anyone know?
Is it called Angel Eyes
~ The Jeff Healey Band
Try that, I read the lyrics and it sounded like it could be what you're looking for.
Hope it is
:-)
Victoriadvice
Ok, me and my ex have been broken up for 4 months. we went out for about a year and a half. I dont know what to do. I cant stop thinking about him and i really miss him. The thing is hes changed alot and everyone says hes cocky and a jerk now. But i still miss him and everything we used to do. He was my BEST friend. Its kinda like there wasnt a second we werent together. Now ive done pretty good in not seeming pathetic and stuff but theres days that i just get all worked up and cant stop thinking of him. For example, i was doing pretty good keeping my mind clear of him but then he texted me and asked me how i was and all this stuff. Then i asked him why he requested this boy i went on a date after him to be his friend on the computer and he went off! saying that he wanted to see how big of a tool this kid was and how hes so gay and then went on to say that he wasnt trying to get me back at all and how we broke up four months ago and all this stuff. I JUST DONT GET IT! how the heck do you get over someone because i know hes not the best for me and i just dont want to be hurt anymore. And im really really scared for when he gets a new girlfriend how much that will kill me. :/ please help if you have any hints or secrets because im tired of feeling self consious and weak.
1.Hang out with friends. Don't sit at home and mourn. Call friends or go hang out with them. It will show him that you're strong and it'll get your mind off him.
2.Enlist the help of others. Turn to a trustworthy friend that knows how to keep a secret. Letting your feelings out to someone gets rid of extra stress and emotion. This person can make you feel better.
3.Think of some negatives in your relationship. See what went wrong. Focus on the good, but also remember why you might have broken up. You may see that he may not have been that great.
4.Clear everything out of your life that reminds you of him. Pictures, songs, clothing articles, other personal items; everything must go.
5.Commit completely to getting over him. If you allow yourself to have doubts, or be weak, it will drag on and on. Repeat over and over to yourself; I don't need him.
5.Get out and meet people. If possible, try to meet another special someone. Having a new guy in your life is the best way to forget about someone. Not only will they keep you busy, they'll put in your mind all the good things your ex never did, or the bad things your ex did but your new boyfriend doesn't.
6.Hang out with your girlfriends as much as possible. They'll help you get through it, listen to you rant, keep your mind off things, and eat ice cream with you. Plus, you'll remember how much you like them all, and how fun they are.
7.Write 20 or more of your good qualities and keep reading them over and over, adding as you think of some. It's important to remember that you are a beautiful, amazing person and you will find love again.
8.Let time pass. The more it goes, the easier it will get. Time does heal all.
Remember, there's a reason why he's out of your life. Be free!
So keep those 8 things in mind if you will.
Don't forget that time will heal, even if it takes a while. You will never be able to pluck away every bit of him from your memory, he will always be there.
It is really tough to get over someone, especially when you were with him for a such a long periosd of time like you were, and you spent so much time together. But if he is acting like he is acting, then it sounds like you need to end contact with him instead of listening to him saying things like what he was saying, it only makes it hurt more. You shouldn't allow him to hurt you like that.
Hope this helps
Victoriadvice
alright. i HATE my love handles and want to get rid of them. Does anybody know any good exercizes to get rid of them or cut them down a bit? thankyouu.
You could try checking out and reading this site:
http://www.weightlossforall.com/exercise-love-handles.htm
And I bet if you went somewhere like youtube and searched for love handle excersizes there are probably videos that could help you and show you good excersizes to do.
Hope that helps
Good luck :)
Victoriadvice
i want to lose some weight for going back to school and i was wondering what would be the best way is it as simple as exersise and heathly eating?
i am not that big a size 10-12 so nothing dirastic please!
xx
I looked up a site and this one looks like something you should check out and could be real helpful!
http://allwomenstalk.com/7-fastest-ways-to-lose-weight/
Go there and read that, towards the bottom after the seven ways there are more links
:)
Good luck
Victoriadvice
do you think the police will ever get texting? what if you're in a situation where you cannot talk?
This is a great idea, and actually I do think that you can text 911. I had a conversation about this the other day, really. I've been told by quite a few people that you can do that, and my guess is you probably can. Now, you probably wouldn't wanna try it out to see if you can, but you could try looking it up or asking a police officer if you happen to run into one.
-Victoriadvice
Hey!
Well, this guy I like he's awesome, cute, funny, caring and i think he could be the one. He also likes me. He makes me feel like.. I'm perfect,like an angel. I finally feel better about myself now that i met him.(I had a lot of guy trouble) Now i feel like he's the one. Right now we are like.."friends with benefits", i asked him out and he said "Can't we just stay best friends". Than after that that he said i don't know. I told him that he can think about it, and i mentioned we can be friends wit benefits..we are pratically already are. ha ha. He said he really wants me, but i don't understand why he doesn't want to date me? I think it's because some jealous girls started, a rumor about him and his last girl friend about him dating someone on My space. He wasn't that was before we even met. He was really hurt. :/ Now..that he met maybe he's to scared to date me because that rumor might seem true. This guys the sweetest guy i have ever met. Do you think we can eventually become more than friends with benfits?
Of course you can! And probably will. Maybe you should try asking him that same question. Tell him how much you like him and care about him, tell him you respect that he isn't ready to date you, let him know you understand that he's worried. But just ask him if he's ever going to be willing to try to be more than just friends with benefits with you. This should help some. Remember just take things slow, he'll eventually realize and come to his senses.
Hope this helps
-Victoradvice
i have never dated a girl before but i do consider myself bi because i have had crushes on girls and they really turn me on(havent dated a girl because i cant tell which girls arent straight and im too much of a coward to tell a girl im interested in her). well my manager just hired this new girl i have worked with the last four shifts and i think she is extremely cute! and i love her personality we click. i just dont know if she would ever consider dating a girl or if she has before. one reason i became interested in her is because i kind of get the vibe she is interested in me. im not sure but she always talks to me, wants to always be around me and when we talk she stares at me like a guy who is interested in me. i always catch her glancing at me when she thinks im not looking. and today at work everytime she joked around with me she would touch my arm kind of like flirting. and i told her i moved an hour away and am only in town three days a week to come to work. she told me she wished i didnt live so far away and that she wishes she could see me more often. she asked for my number and joked around and said "so i can take you out" and laughed and said so we can do something outside work. it really feels like she is interested but there is a chance i think she must just be admiring me or really just likes me that much as a friend. how can i figure out her intentions i just dont want to come out and tell her im interested in her and freak her out if she isnt bi.
Well there isn't really a good way to find out fast, without having to worry about her actually not being interested and scaring her away at asking. I think you should just continue as you are, but slowly start showing you like her a little more, flirt a little more, etc. Remember not to come on too hard or too fast. If she starts coming on slowly more to you as well, it shouldn't take long to find out. If she is interested she may be thinking the same thing you are! And it does sound like she could be. And you should definately go out with her outside of work. That way you can see how she acs with you even more, and outside of work. And if she is only interested in being really good friends, then she should respect you and how you feel and not get scared away. Otherwise she isn't worth it.
Hey,
I was just wondering;
what does it mean if myboyfriend calls other girls (like sisters and friends, ect) my name accidentally?
He loves me a lot, and i find it cute but why does he do that accidentally?
:) Thanks
There really isn't any reason behind accidents, that's why they're accidents. It's normal to slip up when talking or to call someone else by another person's name on accident. If he's doing it alot, it probably just means he thinks about you alot :)
-Victoriadvice
where can i buy some " bohemian style" clothes for cheap??
Try checking out this website:
http://www.thechicfashionista.com/bohemian-style-clothing.html
-Victoriadvice
okay so my best friend [ he's a guy ] is leaving in a week to go to an early summer program for college then starting college.. i want to get him something either just for him or for his dorm.. he already has picture frames and stuff and i dont want it to be cheesy... help?
Well if you know anything about the kind of things he's into, you can use that kind of information to help.
Since he's leaving you want it to be something touching, something for him to remember you everyday. If you have any inside jokes or things between just you and him, go by that and find something related, you both can laugh about it or you can use the card to explain the meaning behind it!
Know something he really loves to eat? Bake him something special to take with him :-)
Maybe get him a going away basket. Put some little goodies inside:) If you make him something yummy yourself you can put that in it, and you could also put that special insider gift inside, and maybe you could find something that he could put up in his dorm, preferrably something useful, or something he could have in his dorm, use alot, and think about you at the same time :)
I really don't know :P
Just some ideas....
Hope it helps a little bit :)
-victoriadvice
well ive had a job at dunkin donuts for about a week now. but i only work once a week because there are too many people working there and no one has many hours. -.-'' anyways, so i go in today, and for about thirty minutes, all im doing is standing around doing nothing. everyone has everything covered, im not really needed. the manager even told me that i might have to be sent home early cuz i wasnt needed. this disappointed me, but whatever. then about 45 minutes of doing nothing, i start feeling really dizzy. then i feel nauseous and i start blacking out. so i go to sit down and the lady asks me if i want to go home, since i felt sick. and i said yes. so i called my mom and she said she'd come and get me. when she came to pick me up, all she did was yell at me and basically accuse me of faking it and just being lazy. she wouldnt listen to a thing i was saying. then when she dropped me off at the house, she said i had to go to bed and that i couldnt go anywhere. i was pretty pissed at her, so i went to bed and tried to go to sleep. then when my dad came home, he had asked me what happened, what was wrong, and i just broke down crying and saying i didnt like working, i hated it, i hated the job, the hours sucked, the money wasn't that much, and that mom was being a bitch and stuff. so i pretty much convinced myself i was gonna quit. when i calmed down, i went to go tell my mom i was going to start looking for a different job, and that i was quitting. she got really pissed and basically kept calling me pathetic and stupid and that i was just a big disappointment. finally i just walked out and got sick of it all. then i went on a walk and called a friend and while we were talking i had an epiphany and went to go tell my dad about it; that i was going to keep working there, but looking for a different job while doing that. and in my free time, go volunteer at the library. i was excited because my dad said it was a good idea, and so i went to tell my mom and she wouldnt listen. she just kept rolling her eyes and saying she didnt wanna hear what i had to say and said she didnt want to talk about it anymore.
so, my mom pretty much hates me now. just because i left sick on my second day of working. she wont look at me or talk to me, and everytime we do talk, she just yells and screams and its driving me nuts. how can i get her to calm the hell down and just listen to me?? i want to make her proud of me but apparently thats just not possible anymore! any help is greatly appreciated. 16/f
If you can't get her to listen here's two ideas that you might can use:
1) Write it down. If you can't talk to her, try writing what you have to say to her. It may be easier for you to do too, sometimes it's harder for you to talk to someone in person, especially when that person is acting ridiculous towards you, like your mom right now. Write down how you feel and explain what you wanted to explain before, and explain what had really happened that day at work (everything you said up there) and explain what your idea was after your epiphany.
Give it to her or better yet, one night just slip it under her bedroom door and walk away. She will see it and read it. You will probably feel better getting it out and giving it to her like that and just stepping back and going away and letting her read it and take it in, and you won't have to worry about yelling.
2) Wait for a good moment to talk with her. Wait for a moment when she is in a really good mood not a bad one. You both are calm. Do something that will put her in a good mood towards you, if you must. Clean her room or something like that. Try to act nicely. Then, ask her if you both can talk. Try to explain all of that then. If you need to write it down so you get it straight and don't leave anything out, do that before you go to talk to her. Read it to her or let her read it or whatever you want. Make sure to keep your cool, even if she says something you don't like, or if she raises her voice at you, just try to remain calm, remember to be the mature adult that she isn't being.
Hope that helps some
-victoriadvice
This is so long and i feel really bad.. everyone will get a 5 for taking the time to read and try to help me out!
Its so frusterating. I think it started when I was younger.. like in elementary school sometimes people would block the bottom of the tube slides during recess on the playground and I'd be in the middle as more people would slide down. Stuck. I still remember how it felt.. like it became hard to breathe and everything cause I was closed in. I mean its not like there wasn't air coming in. but it wasn't in a comfortable position, I couldn't get out, and there wasn't much space around me.
But I don't know. I can ride air planes fine, I can normally ride in cars, and buses fine as well. But my mom has the Honda Odyssey. its a minivan, and it has a middle seat that can be taken out or put back in. my cousins are here so we put it in cause we need the extra seat. I'm 15 years old by the way, and I just can't sit in the back. Cause its all closed in and there are no doors around it for me to be able to get out. Once I tried sitting in the back, when the car was still new. My mom got the car like 2 years ago. my other cousins were there and it wasn't THAT bad but I didnt like it. but then another time we were leaving for a long trip from NJ to Maryland. I just couldn't sit in the back even when there was a way older guy who would typically sit in the middle (someone else was sitting in the passenger seat in the front). like i was crying and everything.. we were about to leave and i was having difficulty breathing too. and everyone was just so mean about it. like my mom, my sister, and my uncle. they were like "why cant you just sit there?" like wtf they just dont understand! my mom only let me sit in the middle when she remembered when one of her friends had a scan.. i think the MRI or something where you had to sit in that confined space. like the friend thought it wouldnt be bad but realized how bad it was and decided to get knocked out for it instead.
but it just sucks how they need something like that to be able to understand.. like I dont know. Its the same thing as before. with everyone sitting in front of me.. its like Im trapped. like i can imagine it right now ugh it would just be horrible. i dont know how to say it. like i think they think im just making it up so i dont sit in the back cause im bad at explaining it. like the cousins who are at my house now its like everytime we are going into the car i have to explain why i cant sit back there. i mean i can sit in the back when the middle seat isn't there. that isnt a problem. but i just hate having to explain it all everytime and think back to why i cant do it.
my other cousin who stayed home just told me that im gonna have to like get over it. but like its hard to explain it to her too. she thinks i should be claustrophobic when im in taxis or buses, or surrounded by a lot of people too. but im not. in taxis or buses the door is right there. and when im surrounded by people, there is so much open space around me. i can shove through people if i wanted to move from them too.
i mean even when i sat in the back of my mom's minivan w/o the seat in the middle of the middle seats.. w/ my cousins and siblings in the car as well.. like i needed to have the air conditioning on like blowing in my face at one point. its like a desperate thing.. i need it right now or i start to have trouble breathing and i take deep breaths. i take deep breaths sometimes anyways in like general situations.. i dunno, sometimes i just feel like im not getting much air. like in my room sometimes.. it was mostly during 4th - 7th grade. i feel like im not getting good air so i have to open up the window and breathe deeply for a few mins. and then i'd leave it open.
today i couldn't go to this party because my older cousin, Mark*, who would normally be sitting in the backseat chose to sat in the middle. he didnt even have any problem with sitting in the back. he just kept asking me why i couldnt sit there. and ive told them before. i told him it made me uncomfortable. we were running late and my mom just drove off and offered the backseat but i refused. i've told them before that i'd stay home instead. i can imagine it now.. i would have had to switch seats not too long from the time we left. they would have kept telling me that i dont know, maybe im making it up or something. nobody likes sitting in the back in general. they are just insensitive to it. i cant explain it to them, they just dont understand. Mark didnt want to move. him and my sister are pretty tall so its not good for their legs i think, to sit there. my other cousin, Emily* sat in the front cause she recently got foot surgery, my tall sister sat in the middle cause it hurts her legs to sit in the back (shes tall too), and my little bro sits in the middle cause thats where his car seat has to be. another cousin, Amy*, sat in the back and she was the only one there. it just made me upset.. im upset right now, Mark could have sat in the back but didnt. i mean people are afraid of a lot of things.. a lot of things are irrational too. but if you dont understand it.. like i just dont see why they couldn't try to sympasize or something. like they know what claustrophobia is. idont even know if i have it, but it seems like i does from what i just read of the symptoms right now. i mean its not the only time i experience anxiety in general. i used to experience a noteable amount of anxiety.. like during 4th - 7th grade. i dont even know why. it was hard to explain too. like why like i remember in 6th grade where i kept having to look behind me.. like even during school i'd do it. to see if someone was behind me. even if i knew no one was there i just had to keep checking. to the point where my neck would hurt. or like i'd have to keep checking to see if all doors were locked at night, and i'd keep checking to see if i turned the light off all the way because i was afraid that if it was half way or something it could make sparks and cause a fire. or even when i was even younger i remember being afraid of putting soap over my eyes in the bath cause i imagined like some monster coming out of nowhere to get me when my eyes were closed. like it really felt like it was there. i still feel that occasionally. not as much anymore but yeah. i dont even have scary dreams or anything. like more with anxiety.. i felt uncomfortable with certain things socially. like i used to even be afraid of getting up to sharpen my pencil. when i was younger like in elementary school. like sometimes i'd walk funny or like i'd always be concerned like with what people were thinking even though they probably werent thinking much cause when i think of other people like you know you dont think that deeply and all. and you are your harshest critic.
but it also hurt me like in the sense that i cant express myself fully. i have a fear of rejection and i always want to show my best side to others. like on Y!A its so much easier since its anonymous but i've never had a friend that i could say so much to. the most i've been able to talk about with is my mom but there are still a lot of things i haven't been able to say. i wish i could get a good enough friend like i am to other people. it always seems like i do so much like.. i really care about their problems and all you know. and i dont know anyone like me like with my sense of humor, music taste, and everything. sometimes theres one thing in someone else that we'd have in common, like music, but we cant get along otherwise. its just dissapointing.. i've only had 3 people i'd count as best friends and that was in 4th grade. it just seems like 5th grade til now have been like an open field and i hate it. im not like depressed or suicidal.. im actually really optimisic. always dreaming. like im not even sure that if my life currently was sucking i'd be able to tell. my life doesn't suck, im grateful for a lot of things and all.
like i dont really do much and all now. ugh enough with that, im venturing off the topic, sorry. i have issues with overtalkativeness too, heh.
anyways, if anyone had a problem like that.. like say one of my friends had a phobia of centipedes. i hate centipedes as well but i can still kill one. like i'd be sensitive about that and not be like "your just exagerating and just doing it so you dont have to kill it." like i guess you just dont really know. so just have the benefit of the doubt you know, if it really wont harm you to do it. like i dont know what to do about my situation if it gets worse. i just hate explaining it. i dont know how to make it not sound fake. how to make it sound right. like me saying "it makes me feel uncomfortable" like ugh that just doesnt work. i dont know how to be certain i have claustrophobia too or i dont know. I didnt want to attempt to solve it tonight either.. and probably fail.
ugh please help me and sorry for this ridiculously huge question
*Name has been changed.
I wanna start by saying I REALLY wish I knew you and could be that friend that you need. And I'm not just saying that. But I really like how you said everything that you did. Even though it was long but I read every bit of it and respect you even though I don't know you. But you sound like a really good person and you sound cool. And you sound really...real. And I like real people. I can tell you're not shallow but actually a deep person and I'm the same way. And whenever there is people that can't seem to think how I think or as deep but act shallow, I can't stand those people. It frustrates me. And I feel like I'm alot of how you are. For instance, don't feel bad about not liking to get up to sharpen your pencil. I HATE doing that and getting up in the middle of class for anything really when everyone is sitting down, for instance I hate it when the teacher calls me up to get a paper or something. I just start thinking a whole lot of all those other people and what they're thinking and self concious about if they're looking at me and all. So I definately know how you feel. And it's normal. And that is soooo frustrating because I have the same problem alot of the time like I think sooo much and I can explain the whole thing out in my head and how I want to explain it to people that don't seem to understand or even want to try, like your mom/cousins/all those people who don't believe you or don't take the time to listen... It frustrates you like it does me and I can never get it out how I want to which gets me even more frustrated, inside my head.
I hate that.
But anyways, it sounds like you are just a person with a few anxiety issues. And one of those anxiety issues probably is a form of claustraphobia (I'm sure that's not spelled right) and I can understand that you don't feel it at times, and other instances you do. Everyone is different, and it works differently for everyone. It sounds like you don't really have a problem until you start feeling trapped or like you don't have a way out, like with the slide, and like with the minivan. You like to be next to a door/ a way out, your mind just plays tricks on you and it makes you feel extremely uncomfortable when you feel that way. Completely understandable. I know you have tried to explain it to your friends and family but have a hard time like how I said before, it sounds good in your head maybe but then they frustrate you and it all goes to hell. I find it really really helps to write it all down as it comes to you so you can get what's on your mind onto paper instead of trying to explain how you feel when you're actually in the heat of the moment. You should just take some time out at some point, whenever you're alone in your room or something, get a paper and pencil and explain how you feel about everything and get all your points out clearly. It may take some time, but it will come to you and you should be able to get it out how you want it. That way, you can either just show them what you wrote or read it to them.
And maybe you should talk to a psychologist about life, and about anything you want to that you feel you have no one else to talk to about. That's what they're for, to listen and be understanding and not be shallow. It will probably make you feel better if you get your thoughts out and since you think alot about alot and you're a talkative person, well, a therapist sounds like a good idea, because they're there just for people to talk to them and for them to listen ya know? It will probably help you to get things out and make you feel better and not bottle things up. Or it always helps to do that same thing but by yourself. Whenever you have thoughts/feelings you feel you need to get out or that are making a tangled web inside your head, get it out on paper, write it all down. It will make you feel alot better to get it off your chest, or your head lol, and to be able to read it and have it more clear, ya know?
Idk, just suggesting... :]
Well I don't really know much else to say but I hope I helped you out a little bit.
Feel free to inbox me if you want :)
Victoriadvice
Okay, well I wasn't really sure where to put this but uh here goes. So I'm 13/F and he was 14/M. He is an awesome friend but he's always been a perv. Anyway, he took it too far this time and I flipped out. We were walking in a group and some other guys that we were with were making fun of him about how he "can't get a girl" and he says "I can get any girl I want!" so he grabs me, pins me against a wall, and sticks his hand down my pants. I freaked and kicked him in the balls... He looked like he was in severe pain. I almost felt bad but not really cuz what did he expect? But now he's super pissed at me. I don't think he has a right! Does anyone else think I was out of line?
Okay Jack, so it does hurt alot.
But like one of the other columnists said, he made her uncomfortable, so she made him uncomfortable. You shouldn't be upset that I said that because if he hadn't been being an immature idiot, he wouldn't have had that problem. And incase you didn't notice, I did say that she should talk to him about it and apologize for hurting him, but that she can't take all of the blame for his pain. A slap might have helped too but that was her first thought and she was protecting herself, he should have seen something coming. It's his fault anyway, so he shouldn't try to make her feel bad just because she hit him where it hurts. If he thinks he has the right to get up on her and stick his hand down her pants without any say-so from her, then she has the right to hit him where ever she just so happens to hit him, it really doesn't matter. It might hurt like a bitch, but he'll get over it. It doesn't change the fact that it was his fault she kicked him in the first place.
And it does show that you have respect for yourself because you didn't just stand there and let him do it.
P.S. I think the good kick in the balls made a longer lasting impression than a slap in the face would have.
And if he really is a good friend, he wouldn't stop being your friend or be mad at your for his bad. If he was a true friend he would admit he was out of line and let it go that you kicked him in the nuts, and that he asked for it.
If he was really a true friend he would still want to be your friend and get past that. If not, he is as immature as his act was.
First i want to say thank you to everyone who gave me advice to my last question! But i have more. So as i said before i had sex and im a thirteen year old female. But the guy i did it with is telling everybody. Now all kinds of guys are comeing and asking me for sex and of couarse im saying no but they make fun of me to and just wont leave me alone! What can I do to make them stop? Also the guy i did have sex with is asking for more and he knows he hurt me already from breaking up with me but just doesnt seem to care and now hes threatening me. He is very intiminating and im really nervouse! What am i gonna do?
Don't let this dumb guy intimidate you. Tell him to back off and that he's not getting any more from you. Why can't he just go get some from someone else? If he can't that's his problem not yours. But you DON'T have to do ANTHING you don't want to.
If he's threatning you, that's just wrong, and pathetic at that. He's probably just all talk, but don't underestimate him. A guy should NEVER threaten a girl for sex. You should end ALL contact with him, don't talk to him, don't see him. You don't want to set yourself up for rape./:
Don't you even think about getting back with him after that. And if he had sex with you and broke up with you and hurt you and now he's pressuring you for more sex, he is not right for you at all anyways. All he wants is sex obviously. He was never worth your time.
As for these other guys coming and talking to you about it, well there's really nothing you can really do to make them stop. If they want to keep on, they will. Just don't let it get to you is the best I can tell you. That's what they want. Don't let them win. If you show that they are bothering you, it will only make them want to bother you more. They're being retarted, you are perfectly fine. All you can really do is not talk to them either.
I hope this helps a little :-)
If you ever need more help you could try talking to a councelor or someone about these issues.
Or feel free to inbox me for anything.
-Victoriadvice
When i try to set up my voicemail on my phone all I hear is dial tone instead of a recorded messege telling me what to do. so what do i do?
I've never heard of that problem before, so I have no clue what's wrong with your phone.
Probably the best and only thing to do is to call your phone company and explain the problem to them and they should be able to help.
If they can't and don't know what's wrong with it/ might need to see it in person, then take it to them.
Hope that helps a little
:)
Inbox for any more advice
-Victoriadvice
Im worried for my best friend because i dont know what advice to give her! My friend went out with her boyfriend for 5 months, they were friends for long time before that. They were great together, but he was so quiet, anti social. She'd put so much effort, and he never did, she had to make his choices for her, she had to decide what they'd do. She never got much affection. We went to a party with him and he just sat there, and did say anything. She didnt get a hello when we met him, and she never got a hug or a kiss. And its like that a lot with him.
Everyone was laughing saying omg, he never speaks and my friend felt unfortbale - embarrased because they were right. She loves him so much, and I know he loves her, but he never gave her anything. I said to her to take a break, and see if he really cares - if he reallly does like her, just see what happens, because she wasn't happy. Instead, she broke up with him and cried for ages and ages. She told him why she thought it was over, and its only now he's sort of showed the affection and telling her he's so down about it, and how much he loves her. Maybe it's opened his eyes open a bit more I dont know
Then, we met this guy who is so nice. We've known him for about a week, but it feels LONG. And I know we'll see him all the time- he's good friends with OUR good friends. He's bisexual, but he told us he was going through more a BOY phase at the moment. He invited my friend round, and then he kissed her! She said that you lied to me, as that was never my intention to come over here and do that - especially as your more gay than straight!!! He's really cut up about it, because he likes her.
Then yesterday we went to a party and she kissed ANOTHER GUY. It's not like her at all. I said to her thats not the right way to get over your feelings. In fact, there isnt really a cure. She still loves her boyfriend, i know this. But she doenst know if it will work. She has kissed to different guys in 2 days and feels so dirty and down about it. She's confused because the gay guy she kissed, REALLY likes her..anndd i think because her BF never showed her any affection etc, and this really nice guy comes along and kisses her - she may like him. But i still think she likes her boyfriend and she should get back together with him because she loves him, and you CAN work at things.
I mean i dont know what to do or what advice to give her??
I also said not only hurt your bf by dumping him, you've also hurt a sweet guy who liked you so much
Should she go back to her BF, go out with the bi guy! whAT? I think she still loves her BF but because this bi guy has nice qualities she wants her BF to have she may THINK she likes him, but I dont know
This is what I think I would do if I was your friend.
I think I would probably talk to her ex about how she felt like he wasn't showing her enough of what she wanted like affection and that he cared. She felt that he just sat there and she never knew what he was really thinking. She should tell him how she feels about him how she loves him or whatever, and she wants to give him another shot IF he is willing to try a little harder for her.
Since you say he was showing it a little more right after she ended it with him and that you think he has opened his eyes a little more, he probably would be willing to and probably wishes she would give him the second chance.
Meanwhile, I think she should also talk to the other guy. He may like her alot, and she may like him some too, which probably has alot to do with the fact that she thinks he can show her what she wanted to see in her boyfriend, or ex i mean.
But if her ex which she has already put 5 months effort into and they already have alot of care for one another, if he is willing to change a little then she should be good with just him.
But I do think she should talk to this other guy and let him know she kinda likes him, but she has a boyfriend of five months she cares about alot. She shouldn't completely forget about this guy because you never know what may happen with her and her boyfriend, and you never know, this other guy could be a great catch too.
She shouldn't just let it go because if things happened to not work out later with her and her boyfriend, she might regret it.
So she should ask this other guy if they can just maintain a friendship at this point, tell him not to give up hope but also not to get his hopes up too much.
Hope this helps a little
Inbox me if you need any more advice
:)
Victoriadvice
I didn't have sex, that's why I asked you if sperm could go through 4 layered clothes. Me and my bf just layed in bed caressing and kissing.
So, from what I've said you think that I could be pregnant even if I didn't have sex (no penetration)?
Oh sorry I didn't realize you asked that other question too lol
Well though it is possible to get pregnant without full penetration and without actual intercourse, but just outercourse, that wouldn't happen through clothing, especially with all of that clothing, so you're definately fine. The chances of getting pregnant without intercourse would be like 1 in a million.
Hope that helps
:)
Thanks for the reply :)
I got sore breast for 5 days now...today is the 6th day. Me period was supposed to come on the 6th of July and today is the 11th. I'm really worried about it. Could it be that i'm very worried that is being delayed? Did your period ever delayed? I'm 20 and my period never been this late.
To tell you the truth, I have been worried since the time of my ovulation (20 days ago). Any advice please?
This actually does happen sometimes, everyone is different. The body works how it wants to when it wants to sometimes.
I wouldn't worry too much just yet. This happens to me quite often. Some people just have irregular periods that never start on one particular date and to tell you the truth I don't even know exactly what date mine is supposed to start.
If you are worried that you might be pregnant that's another issue. Your period has never been late before and has always come on that particular date? That might be a little more to think about then. If you think you're pregnant and your period is late and never has been before, maybe you should get a pregnancy test and find out.
Hope this helps some :)
do you have to take a tampon out every time you pee? and doesn't it hurt if you take it out too early when its not fully absorbedyet? jw causei want to use tampons but i pee alot.
Well considering you pee alot, that would probably be an awful lot of wasted tampons. And it will also cause a little more pain when you take it out if you're doing so before it's time. Once you've been using tampons for years though you get the hang of it and you get used to taking it out, and even when it isn't fully absorbed it doesn't really bother you as much if you feel a slight pain taking it out, and also it becomes a little less tight down there and used to having tampons put into it lol
But no, you don't have to and I recommend not taking it out every time you pee. That's actually rather silly. Peeing doesn't affect your tampon at all. Though the string might get a little wet (unless you really have to just hold the string while you pee or something) but you can't really feel it and it shouldn't bother you too much...
And you'll know when to take it out once you get used to it. I guess everyone is different, you can use them how you want. If you just started the period and its a heavy flow you should just make sure you keep an eye on it like going to the bathroom occasionally and checking for any spottage or leakage, use some toilet paper and dab up there to check for blood because when you're starting to leak you won't always know it from your underwear. Usually you'll know it's time to change by looking at the string and seeing if theres any blood on it towards the top meaning you're starting to leak. Every period is different so you can't go by setting a time to take it out, (though you should never keep the same tampon in for too long, shouldn't leave it in past 6 hours I think, but often it won't be nearly that long) though I have before. You never know how much you've bled or are bleeding. Sometimes it's very little or takes a while, sometimes it's alot and soon.
With time it will come to you naturally.
Hope that helps some
Need any more advice feel free to send it to my inbox! :)