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im only 13 and had sex and he is telling everybody!
First i want to say thank you to everyone who gave me advice to my last question! But i have more. So as i said before i had sex and im a thirteen year old female. But the guy i did it with is telling everybody. Now all kinds of guys are comeing and asking me for sex and of couarse im saying no but they make fun of me to and just wont leave me alone! What can I do to make them stop? Also the guy i did have sex with is asking for more and he knows he hurt me already from breaking up with me but just doesnt seem to care and now hes threatening me. He is very intiminating and im really nervouse! What am i gonna do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
Black mail him!
Here's how:
Since things have come to this, it's time for vengeance. Let's laugh some evil laugh and slowly send him to hell.
It's very simple. The very fact that you're a girl under 18 years of age is your distinct and irreplaceable advantage over him. The law is protecting you, the people will protect you, and your tears will also be your last-resort protection. You have already won the battle.
*******VERY IMPORTANT*******
Yes, you have already won the battle, but the question is: can you win the war?
Please take that into consideration. I'll elaborate on it more at the end.
****************************
Anyway, first: The Impending Doom
---Tell him that you would tell his parents, the teachers, the police, and if he push the matter any further, you would take the matter to the juvenile court.
---Most likely, he would respond with some sort of "do you dare?" kind of line. Affirm that you mean it, and you are not joking, and you are not afraid of him either.
Second: Charge Forth the Impending Doom
---If he still does not stop what is doing, and ignoring your warning, go tell your favourite teacher about this. If you are currently on summer break, then go tell a neighbor.
---What the teacher/neighbor would do is act as a "mediator." Ask him/her to accompany you when you tell your parents about this.
---Your parents would most likely go "lions protect daughter" (if you know what I mean) but you have a shield right there (the teacher/neighbor) so you would be fine. Tolerate your parents' language and reaction at that moment though, because such news would cause them to feel as if the whole sky has just fell down on them. Also, be mentally prepare for a whole week of awkward dinner.
---Your parents would contact his parents, and his parents would probably go "tiger protects mountain" on him. He doesn't have a shield like you so . . . consider him dead.
Third: Lingering Doom
---So, you have proved that you would do what you said. Threat him that you would take it to the court if he continue. The table has turned. Your weakness is now your weapon.
---Don't push him to the wall though. Dog will turn back and bite you if it has no more place to run. Not to mention that he does have a few laws that protect him.
Also, you have a cell phone, don't you? As you may have already know, cell phones are very convenient recording devices. (Are you seeing what I am coming at now?)
Yes, yes, yes, you guessed right. Try to place a few "conversation traps" where you play the role of a good girl who is being intimidated by him. Record the conversations between you and him then. Most likely he'll say a bunch of things taht are unfavorable to himself, which, in the future, will be your proofs of his harassment to you--those records will be one of your weapons.
Tears: well, a girl's tear could calm a storm. If you cry in front of your parents or his parents, you're the one that's right. Sympathy kicks in and they all the sudden feel like you should be protected. That's another move that you can pull.
*******VERY IMPORTANT*******
So, after reading all this, have you noticed one major flaw of this plan?
Yes, you are right. It's the war itself. You have waited too long to make your move, and the news has spread. One last question:
Do you have close friends whom you trust and are willing to support you? If yes, then you've won. Heck, if you've got some close friends, you don't even have to do all that. Dealing with matters alone is hard, but with support, it becomes easy.
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Hard to do but ignore them. Turn your nose up at them and ignore them. Every time you get upset about it and deny it and get mad, they win. It
will take a few times but once they realize they
are no longer bothering you, they'll stop.
I don't know what he is threatening you with so
can't be to much help about that. Don't let him
intimidate you. If hes threatening to tell your
parents (only thing I can think of), well, that goes both ways. They find out hes had sex with you and his ass is grass too. Ignore that threat, he isn't going to say a thing.
13 year old boys are very immature. They have sex and all of a sudden they think they are MR stud muffin. They want to brag all about it. Not all are that way of course, but a good deal of them are.
To avoid this in the future, please wait until you are more mature to have sex. You just risk way to much of your future by rushing into it.
Whats happened has happened but you can learn
from it. The chances of being used and having
your heart broken are high.
Cheer up, it will be OK. :)
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If I were you, I would make it loud and clear that your sexual experience has made you want to wait for someone worthwhile before you do it again, and that it'd going to be a long time before that happens.
If he won't leave you alone, tell him it wasn't very good sex and that if he wants a chance with any other girl, he'll shut up about it before you tell ALL the girls how awful it was.
As well, confide in your mother and see what she has to say. You really need her moral support right now.
Now this part is not fair, because girls always lose out in these situations, but I would advise having no more boyfriends for a couple years. Give this plenty of time to blow over. Eventually people will stop talking about it.
In the meantime, find something meaningful to do with your time that makes you feel good and builds your self esteem back up. Do you like art? Sports? Academics? Do you have any hobbies or interests? This is the perfect time for you to focus your attention elsewhere. It'll help take your mind off the jerks you go to school with and will help you figure out who you are-- because you need to know you are not what these pervert boys think you are.
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Okay here is my honest answer, It is kind of blunt but here it goes...
13 is young to be having sex, I assume you are in junior high? Sometimes young people who have sex well when other people find out about it they tend to get the wrong impression. For now all I can say is ignore it. If you show no reaction then it should all be over soon. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone learns there lession. Don't let him get too you.
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Don't let this dumb guy intimidate you. Tell him to back off and that he's not getting any more from you. Why can't he just go get some from someone else? If he can't that's his problem not yours. But you DON'T have to do ANTHING you don't want to.
If he's threatning you, that's just wrong, and pathetic at that. He's probably just all talk, but don't underestimate him. A guy should NEVER threaten a girl for sex. You should end ALL contact with him, don't talk to him, don't see him. You don't want to set yourself up for rape./:
Don't you even think about getting back with him after that. And if he had sex with you and broke up with you and hurt you and now he's pressuring you for more sex, he is not right for you at all anyways. All he wants is sex obviously. He was never worth your time.
As for these other guys coming and talking to you about it, well there's really nothing you can really do to make them stop. If they want to keep on, they will. Just don't let it get to you is the best I can tell you. That's what they want. Don't let them win. If you show that they are bothering you, it will only make them want to bother you more. They're being retarted, you are perfectly fine. All you can really do is not talk to them either.
I hope this helps a little :-)
If you ever need more help you could try talking to a councelor or someone about these issues.
Or feel free to inbox me for anything.
-Victoriadvice
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