This is really painful, I can't even find a word that sums up exactly how I feel.
I'm having a really hard time coming to grips with the fact that the person I fell in love with isn't really who I thought they were. It was an act. It was real for me; everything I said to him - how I felt.. was real. But I didn't mean nearly as much to him as he does to me. It was all fake, at least that's the conclusion I've come to.
I've known him for almost four years now. We started dating about 2 years ago, and it's been on and off. It started off really good, and then just went downhill from there. My best friend, who lives in Missouri (we're in Texas), told me he was texting and calling her telling her he loved her and wanted her to come back to Texas. It lasted literally our whole relationship which lasted about three months, and it was extremely stressful. I wanted to believe both of them. But I eventually ended up breaking up with him because he lived about 20 minutes away and neither of us has a car so we hardly saw one another. He would go days, even a week or so sometimes, without talking to me. And I'd never say anything just to keep peace; I didn't want to be a "bitchy" girlfriend. But I finally had enough and ended it. We kept in touch every once in awhile.
He would say things like "I don't even want a girlfriend right now unless it's you". So I kept talking to him to see if he wanted to try things again, but things never moved forward. He'd still talk to me and tell me how he felt about me, but I sensed something wasn't quite right. Back in October I went to MEPS for the Army and they put me in a hotel the night prior to going so we could all go at once. On this day he was texting me that I was the only girl he wanted. I got on the computer at the hotel and went on Myspace (which I deleted after this incident, it hurt so much) and saw that his profile picture had changed. It was of him and a girl laying in his bed. I went to his pictures and there was a whole album of him and his new girlfriend. My whole body tingled, my hands got clammy, and I felt like I was going to throw up all over the keyboard. I felt my heart constrict in my chest. He had JUST been telling me a few hours ago I was the only girl he wanted. I texted him saying "You had me fooled, don't ever talk to me again". He never responded. It's all I thought about at MEPS the next day.
Almost five months later, In February, he found me on Facebook (I'm sure he'd noticed I'd deleted my Myspace, he loves getting ahold of me way AFTER he hurts me). He posted on my wall saying "Wow, this is crazy I was just looking for you on this sh-t the other day". He had slithered his way back into my life..
Between February and now, there was about a two month period where we didn't speak. Then he called me on May 31 and we talked for maybe four hours or so. Let me sum up what he told me:
He said he was so in love with me; that he wanted to marry me, and have kids with him someday.
Now elaborate that to fit four hours of conversation. If you've been in a relationship then you know the little things we said to each other, that's just a summary. I didn't want to believe him, but I did. Because I love him.
Now he's ignoring me again. His ex girlfriend I knew from years ago found me on Facebook and called me. What a coincidence, right? She asked if I still talked to him, so I told her everything. It felt good to talk to someone who understood how he was. She had an app on her iPhone that makes up a fake number so you can text or call someone without them having your real number. She was texting him and in those texts he denied saying he wanted to marry me, and then he had his GIRLFRIEND text her telling her to "leave her man alone".. This is the second time he's had a girlfriend behind my back. He wanted to marry me?? While he's got a girlfriend?? I was so pissed and hurt I started crying. She said "Do you want me to call him on three-way so you can hear it for yourself?" and I said yes.
I listened in and he had no idea. I heard every word. "She's f**kin' crazy! She's obssessed with me, I think she likes that I don't like her. If I'm gonna marry ANYONE it'll be the girl I'm with now, I'm in LOVE with her!"...
....He called me, remember.. he's the one who poured his heart out first.. how am I crazy?
Another thing that makes this even worse is that I had sex with him after we had that long conversation and I found out a week ago that I came up positive for Chlamydia. So not only did he cheat on his new girlfriend with me, who he said he wants to marry, but he gave me an std. She has it too now, I'm sure. But she'll just have to learn about him the hard way like I did, right?
On top of this, remember that "best friend" I had? Well, he showed his phone to me and she was texting him things of a sexual nature. I'm not friends with her anymore, obviously. It made me think "how long has THAT been going on without my knowledge??".
So I'm leaving on the 20th for basic training. All of this happened within the same two weeks.
It hurts so much. Everything he has ever told me was probably a lie. He cheated on me, and had girlfriends behind my back.. and all the while he was pretending to love me. I think I fell in love with a "character". Nothing more than an act. And my best friend betrayed me. I got screwed over by two MAJOR people in my life so close together.
He tried to get ahold of me the other night, but I ignored the attempt. He's actually probaby part of the statistic of mentally abusive people out there, I most likely need therapy because of the things he's told me and done to me over time. And how controlling he is.. What do I do now? How do I begin to move on? Should I even say anything to him? He supposedly thinks I'm crazy, so I should just keep up my progress of not talking to him right? Am I nuts for even caring about this, am I crazy?????? :'( Please help...
This guy is CRAZY. He is such an asshole. If I could have helped, I would have called you and made you feel better. I have been through something like this ..It was with my ex-boyfriend, he was somewhat the same - a cheating man whore. Luckily I had my best friend throughout the bad phase so it helped me stop talking to him. I still care about him and It still sometimes hurts a lot. But I know like you, Everything he said and did was a LIE. You have to accept the fact that he is like that..He is probably never going to be serious..And just screws around with girls all the time. All the bullshit he said to you about marrying you and crap, that was just to make you more vunerable and gullible so that you'd fall for him. Its an easy trap for guys who don't give a shit about lying. This is the truth and Im sure you will realise it. I know you feel terrible right now, and I knowm what you must be going through. Whatever you did with him was a mistake and you can't really do anything about it..But you erase it. Its not your fault you trusted him and loved him. You should really keep talking to a close friend of yours to make this alright. AND DON'T EVER EVEN THINK OF TALKING TO HIM. He is going to do nothing but hurt you. You are an amazing person in your own way and you definately deserve better.
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I am going out to a club tommorrow night what should I wear Iam a 22 f if that helps.
It depends on what you are comfortable in.
If you want to make a style statement. You could wear something glittery. Some shimmery top paired with jeans.
Or you could even go for an informal dress.
You could go for something really sexy or maybe even elegant.
Anything you want!
-Tanvi.
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Hey guess, I'm 19 female.. and I want to dress "cuter/girly." I've been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and we never really got dressed up and he now is starting to dress cute bc hes going out with his friends more and he wants me to go along. I don't dress girly. I'm not fat, I have a good body. Skinny and big boobs. I'm only 5'3-5'4 but I feel too tall for heels. Hes about 6'0. I;m taller than a lot of the other girls.
I don't really like showing off my boobs, I don't like them hanging out. I usually always wear a tank top under everything. And I'm pretty white lol I can't go to the tanning bed due to my medicine im on for my acne.
So what do you suggest? if you can give links that show outfits would be great
I am about your height and I understand when you say you feel too tall for heels. I usually go for flats and slip ons. Or sometimes really small heels almost like platforms.
THE LOOK! :
http://www.riverisland.com/Online/women/get-the-look/kitsch-cool/kitsch-cool-2
you can go for tops like these :
http://www.riverisland.com/Online/women/t-shirts--vests/vests/green-racer-back-vest-602410
You can go for footwear like this :
http://www.riverisland.com/Online/women/shoes--boots/flats--pumps/light-green-peep-toe-shoes-599221
http://www.riverisland.com/Online/women/shoes--boots/sandals--flip-flops/light-brown-sandals-599828
Or some other ideas are:
(skirts and playsuits and others)
http://www.riverisland.com/Online/women/holiday-shop/summer-dresses/coral-one-shoulder-dress-603320
http://www.hm.com/us/__bohemiandeluxe.nhtml#/instoresnowladies/
http://www.riverisland.com/Online/women/dresses/going-out--evening-dresses/cream-cape-waisted-dress-601551
http://www.riverisland.com/Online/women/playsuits--jumpsuits/white-smart-playsuit-600975
hope I helped :)
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Hey guys. I love to sing and write music so basically I just want some free programs to record music in. I know I can google it but I tried and just got into this big mess and dowlonaded a lot of wrong things lol. So if you guys know any that are free and good or atleast decent please send me a link. Thankyou!!! (:
I use CoolEdit. Try it out.
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What does the word prude mean??
Prude
–noun
a person who is excessively proper or modest in speech, conduct, dress, etc.a person who affects or shows an excessively modest, prim, or proper attitude, esp regarding sex .
Origin:
1695–1705; < French prude a prude (noun), prudish (adj.), short for prudefemme, Old French prodefeme worthy or respectable woman. Word Origin & History
prude
1704, from Fr. prude "excessively prim or demure woman" (also an adj.), first recorded in Molière, from O.Fr. preude "good, virtuous, modest," perhaps an ellipsis of preudefemme "a discreet, modest woman," from O.Fr. prou de femme, fem. equivalent of prud-homme "a brave man" (see proud). First record of prudish is from 1717. Prudery first recorded 1709.
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the differences between female and male writing
It all depends on how the child is groomed since he/she was small. I have many boys in my class who have neater handwriting than the girls. And many girls who don't have a legible handwriting at all. It's just how that person has been groomed since childhood. Generally boys don't pay attention to thier handwriting therefore they have been stereotyped to have bad handwriting.
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Um ok so there is this guy who i REALLY like and he likes me....we have dated before and i broke up with him before because i was about to become home schooled but then i
Got better grades and stayed.....we are talking bout getting back together but he is scared I'm using him....he said he wants to wait a little longer until we try again.....so should i wait or move on with my life....I really like him and he says he likes me but he also says four other girls like him.....what should i do.....thanks
Give him some time to figure it out and show it to him that you really like him and arn't using him!
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latley ive been really down and i avoide talking to people but when people talk to me i change my mood quick to happy . but im really not lately my friends havent been there for me and im losing alot of them . ive been sleeping alot and i have a loss of appite . me and my ex stopped talking last week and ever since then it seems like everything is coming crashing down am i depressed? and i really dont feel like doing things lately what can i do to stop being this way or feeling this way and my heart has been hurting i have also had thoughts of hurtng myself bt i wont do it :P
You are not depressed. Sometimes people are just low. For instance, there are days when I am like this too. You just need to be positive. Have you read The Secret by Rhonda Bryne? It really helps you getting a perspective about such things.
And don't worry everything will get back on track!:)
You can't lose your friends They'll always come back as all of them are always worried about thier friends i.e. you!:)
Just relax. And don't try to be so isolated. Take up something that will occupy you. Like my friend has started painting tee's as a distraction!
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I'm fifteen. I am in a great relationship with one of the most amazing guys I have ever known. We have been dating for about three months now, and I am so happy. This relationship is trusting and open, and it's just a wonderful thing to be in a relationship without fear of loving again. Anyway, I usually write him little love notes, and he really likes when I do that. But I really want to show him how much I love and appreciate him. He buys me gifts and treats me like I'm the world, and I really want to show my gratitude to him another way besides notes and material things. What do you suggest?
FOR you next month anniversary you could just suprise him. Send him and E-card or something inviting him to some place.. And then leave trails..(like in treasure hunt).And wherever you plan to spend time with him, Make that area ready with foos and all sorts of stuff you want! (It could be your house too!)
And you could even make him a collage of all your pictures together with comments about what you liked about that day the most!
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16 year old guy im from a strong christian family im still a virgin my mom keeps talking to me about not having sex until im married there are few of my friends that have had sex they talk about sex a lot and i feel uncomfortable sometimes because im one of the few who havent had sex a lot of teenagers seems to be having sex
i maybe weird but i believe in god's ways i believe in not having sex until im marrried
i want it to be with right girl thats not weird is it?
Ah no! That is completely not weird. I, myself, even though I am not christian, believe in having sex when I find my perfect match or when I am finally married to a person I love.
SEE, a lot of people around me too, have had sex and keep talking about it but you should not feel uncomfortable about it, you know? After all, It is YOUR decision! YOU have to decide what you want in your life, other's can't force you. My ex had also had sex with few of his girlfriends in the past and he discussed it with me too.. That maybe we could do it! But I knew what I wanted and stayed strong on my decision. He had no choice but to stop asking me for it. You have to be strong and JUST BECAUSE OTHERS HAVE HAD SEX AND YOU HAVE NOT, DOESN'T MAKE YOU WEIRD, TRUST ME. There are a million other people like you who must have taken this decision!:) And I am happy to know that as a guy you have made such a decision. :)
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is it normal or fair that your parents wont let you date when you are 17 years old? i have a boyfriend and he's in college now i don't know if i can even call him my boyfriend because my parents refuse to let me go out with him besides that i'm not allowed to go out anywhere not even with friends because they are so controlling i really like this guy and i'm afraid that he will drift away because i never see him what do i do in this situation?
thanks in advance
I can completely relate to your situation cause my parents are also like this. But then with my previous boyfriend I tried to make my mom realise that I wasn't being very reckless. I brought him home and they started with some random conversation. My mom knew him too (a little bit) so she would trust me and let me go for walks with him near out house. I basically just told her he liked me a lot and that I kinda liked him too but I wanted her opinion first. I made her feel a part of this. I would tell her when he would call and whenever he would come to meet me I would make her meet him and they would chat for a while and then we would go out.
See basically she was very anti me dating anyone and she had been very strict but with this guy because of the interaction she started trusting me.
I completely understand what you are going through. I have been through this my whole life.
Hope I helped.
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My boyfriend and I just got over a huge fight we had today.
It started when my boyfriend texted me. He said he was looking at other girls breasts. I got really upset. He jokes a lot, and I am kinda sensitive, but I have learned to accept his playful attitude. However, when I told him I was upset and he knows saying that is hurtful, he said he didn't know what I was talking about. I told him it was extremely hurtful, and even though I know I should trust him, my insecurities get to me. He didn't answer for about an hour and we got in a huge fight. He was upset that I didn't trust him and he told me he couldn't believe the way I was acting. I was rather hurt too. I told him I didn't mean to overreact and I wanted to stay together. So we both worked it out and decided to only learn from it and become closer.
I'm happy we worked it out. But while we were texting I felt on edge and like we weren't going to work out. I have second thoughts because I caused such a hard time. I feel like he deserves better than insecure, crazy me. But at the same time I know he wouldn't ever hurt me. I want us to be back to normal before I made a mistake.
Help?
Things become a bit weird after fights! But you will be normal after a while, trust me :)
And you are not crazy, okay?
Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes it's hard to trust people.. I've made plenty of mistakes exactly like yours.
You should just work together to make it better from here on.
Hope I helped!
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So last thursday 3/17/11; me and this guy darryl walked home and we ended up in a small field..and had sex plain and simple,
i got home really REALLY late(4:15)..of course im not going to tell my mom..
but she took away everything until i told 'the truth'..should i tell the truth if not...i really good excuse??
15/f
16/m
If I were in your place I would have never told my mom what happened.
But I surely would have told her I was out with a friend and we were just talking and got into some serious discussion or something.
It is but natural for me not to tell cause I know my mom would kill me..
Do what you feel you should do.
Yese telling the truth is always the right thing but at the end you have to think about the consequences too.
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If you haven't seen my previous questions, I am fifteen and dating a wonderful guy. We have been dating for about two months.
Because I have been physically, mentally, and emotionally scarred from my past relationships, I am rather insecure. I get afraid my boyfriend will be upset over a strained subject and close me out, or I will lose him for a stupid reason. Even though I am fully aware he is only here to love me, and he tells me all the time there is nothing to worry about. He is helping me with my insecurities, and I feel like they are fading. Sometimes though I can feel it there, but I am keen to remind myself. I constantly worry he'll hurt me. It makes me so guilty too, because I know he would never ever hurt me purposefully. He is a respectful guy. I am so crazy.
Any ideas to cope with my insecure self?
Relax. This guy is really nice if he is helping you out with your problems. You would obviously not trust him completely because of your scarred past.. But with time you should learn how to let go and TRUST him :)
And just don't think TOO much.. just calm down and enjoy your time with him! I am sure he won't dissapoint you.
hope I hepled.
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If I went to a dentist and asked them to take my braces off, could/would they? Thanks (:
A dentist who has a orthodontist will be able to. Other may too. You should inquire with you dentist..if he/she can!
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I am 13(m)and my hair is really coarse/thick and curly. Right now I straighten it every morning and its just getting to be too much work. I have no idea what do with it, any suggestions?
You can get them permanently straightened!
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I like thiss guy and he likes me back but there is just one tiny problem he has a girlfriend. He says he is not happy with her but he is waiting for her to break up with him cause he doesnt want to hurt her.But im not sure what to do should i leave it alone or keep liking him?
He might just be a cheat! Just imagine if you were dating him and he said the same thing to someother girl.. the very same thing he is telling you right now..
How would you feel?!
I suggest you let him be.
And don't date him.
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16/f. we go to the same school, same classes. He's kind of shy. a lot of mutual friends. I like him a lot.
friday:
~in the morning he hugged me and put his hands tight around my waist and as i was pulling away he kept his hands on my sides and we were just kind of looking at each other for a while.
~he asked for my number because he said he wanted to talk more
~he followed me and took one of our mutual friend's chair so we can watch a movie together and when a pretty girl came on in the movie most of the guys were talking about how sexy she was and stuff and he looked at me and said he personally thought she was ugly. i thought it was cute haha
~while i was with a group of friends during a class he asked me if i can "help" him with his work, when i sat with him he said he just wanted an excuse to talk to me
~people, including him, usually hang out in the parking lot near my school when school's out. he didnt know i was going with a few friends.(he left school before me) as soon as i got there, he saw me and left his friends to talk to me
~it was raining and super cold so we were veryy close and he decided to hold my hand and while holding hands he was like rubbing my hand (not so sure how to explain but it's something i used to do with people i care about)
~ he put his forehead against mine while we were just looking at each other
~he hugged me like 3 times when i had to go
I like him a lot but i've been hurt too many times in the past and i don't want to feel that ever again so I'm trying to get opinions and advice on what to do about this guy. do you guys think he likes me? what should i do?
He definately likes you :))
It's your desicion.. If you wanna give it a shot you can!
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He was unfaithful to his wife, our best friend of many years and is now inviting everyone to a BIG wedding.
See as far as a wedding goes you should attend it out of courtesy.
Is this wife of your cousin close to you? Maybe you can make her aware about what he is doing, indirectly if she is before it is too late.
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About a year ago I was working as a care aid in a long-term care home. We were scheduled to take a group of seniors out to shop, and I was washing up this resident, around then she was 101 I believe. I realized that I was about to be late, so I dried this resident up as fast as I could and covered her a bit, and left the room to try to find another care aid to take over for me and finish washing her.
When I got back with another care aid the resident was obviously upset about being left alone (she said, "don't leave me again!" or something like that). I felt really bad about leaving her because I knew she would get cold very easy, and she was basically helpless (bedrest, couldn't get her up). This has really been bothering me, I feel very guilty and I've been trying to decide whether or not it'd be worth it to apologize to her.
On one hand: I don't even know if she's still alive (I could call and ask, but I don't know if they'd tell me), I don't know if I'd be allowed to see her, she's completely blind and 90% deaf (have to yell an inch away from her ear to communicate), maybe has dementia by now, she might not remember what happened, maybe it's been too long, maybe I'm blowing what happened out of proportion.
On the other: It would give me peace of mind, and maybe her.
What do you guys think? Is it worth it to try to apologize? I don't even know if they'd let me talk to her (not a family member).
Old people are quite sensitive. I think you should probably call and apologise to her :)
It's just a gesture that would make her feel nice.
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