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controlling parents
is it normal or fair that your parents wont let you date when you are 17 years old? i have a boyfriend and he's in college now i don't know if i can even call him my boyfriend because my parents refuse to let me go out with him besides that i'm not allowed to go out anywhere not even with friends because they are so controlling i really like this guy and i'm afraid that he will drift away because i never see him what do i do in this situation?
thanks in advance
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I can completely relate to your situation cause my parents are also like this. But then with my previous boyfriend I tried to make my mom realise that I wasn't being very reckless. I brought him home and they started with some random conversation. My mom knew him too (a little bit) so she would trust me and let me go for walks with him near out house. I basically just told her he liked me a lot and that I kinda liked him too but I wanted her opinion first. I made her feel a part of this. I would tell her when he would call and whenever he would come to meet me I would make her meet him and they would chat for a while and then we would go out.
See basically she was very anti me dating anyone and she had been very strict but with this guy because of the interaction she started trusting me.
I completely understand what you are going through. I have been through this my whole life.
Hope I helped.
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yeahh not gonna lie that is pretty controlling..
i would understand if they wouldn't let you date a college guy because college guys are rowdy and get in trouble a lot (drinking etc since they aren't legally a minor anymore)
but if they wont allow you to go out with friends.. then yah thats controlling in my opinion.
try getting on their good side. do some extra chores around the house, ask them if they need help with anything like walking the dog or washing the car or making dinner etc.
then just talk to them and ask them WHY they wont let you go out with friends. (btw its best to start with a light topic like going out with friends, rather than just jumping into the main problem about your boyfriend)
remember- dont be annoying or whiney. be mature about it. say something like "if i can do extra chores and help you guys out with your troubles, then can i go out with my friends more? extend curfew by an hour? get a bigger allowance? I feel mature enough to handle this and take on a bigger responsibility"
also you could say something like- "how am i supposed to be successful in life if you don't let me grow up and experience new things? (in a good way)"
it might also be a good idea to remind them that you won't get into trouble like smoking or drinking and that you will stay true to their rules like curfew times and such.
if they still say no, then cool off and take a break and then try to talk to them again after 24 hours. DO NOT talk to them about the issue earlier than 24 hours because that seems so annoying and like you're complaining etc.
baby steps haha dont forget to be mature about it
*EDIT*
well if you already talked to them and let other people talk to them.. then i guess there isn't much to do or say.. ultimately they ARE your parents. they technically overrule you until you are of legal adult age when you can move out. so if everything fails, just hold on 1 more year (you said you're 17?) and then when you're 18 you are legally an adult and can legally move out and live your own life :) regardless if they approve or disapprove of your choices, once your 18 you can legally leave them and do things your own way because its YOUR life not theirs.
inbox me if you have any more questions
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They're just being protective of you. Maybe if you brought him to your house and let your parents get to know him, they will be more willing to let you go out with him.
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