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Should I apologize?
About a year ago I was working as a care aid in a long-term care home. We were scheduled to take a group of seniors out to shop, and I was washing up this resident, around then she was 101 I believe. I realized that I was about to be late, so I dried this resident up as fast as I could and covered her a bit, and left the room to try to find another care aid to take over for me and finish washing her.
When I got back with another care aid the resident was obviously upset about being left alone (she said, "don't leave me again!" or something like that). I felt really bad about leaving her because I knew she would get cold very easy, and she was basically helpless (bedrest, couldn't get her up). This has really been bothering me, I feel very guilty and I've been trying to decide whether or not it'd be worth it to apologize to her.
On one hand: I don't even know if she's still alive (I could call and ask, but I don't know if they'd tell me), I don't know if I'd be allowed to see her, she's completely blind and 90% deaf (have to yell an inch away from her ear to communicate), maybe has dementia by now, she might not remember what happened, maybe it's been too long, maybe I'm blowing what happened out of proportion.
On the other: It would give me peace of mind, and maybe her.
What do you guys think? Is it worth it to try to apologize? I don't even know if they'd let me talk to her (not a family member).
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Old people are quite sensitive. I think you should probably call and apologise to her :)
It's just a gesture that would make her feel nice.
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Apologizing to her would be nice of you. You could probably call the place and get information if you worked there.
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Is it worth it to try to apologize?
Yes. Do it.
Even if she doesn't remember.
Even if she's on her last days.
Even if she can barely hear it.
At least try. At least call and ask if you could visit her. Explain that you use to work there and that you wanted to visit her again. Sometimes they will permit it. It's worth a shot.
And if she has passed...maybe you should visit her grave and apologize there for giving her a little bit of a scare.
I would even go as far as to tell her you're sorry for not apologizing sooner about the incident.
Imagine you were her. You're 101. You can't see. You can barely hear what's going on around you. You can't really even get up by yourself any more. You get cold easily and you rely on another person to keep you alive and safe. You would be scared, too. You'd be even more scared if you suddenly realized that your caretaker wasn't around. Not knowing when, or even if, the person was coming back. Not sure why they left in the first place. Not sure how you're going to get by if they don't come back for some reason and you're left alone for a long time.
You might say, "Well, she knew she was in a care facility so it was pretty obvious somebody was going to tend to her!"
Think of it this way: Ever seen a really scary movie at night, alone? And afterward, you feel a little creeped out? You KNOW nothing is going to pop out at you, grab you up, hurt you, or anything of the sort...but you still feel a little, even just slightly, uneasy.
That's how it probably feels. She may KNOW nothing bad is likely to happen but it still makes a person uneasy. When you're extremely helpless and you rely on another person to do absolutely everything for you then one little scary thing is intensified.
And it's understandable you didn't mean harm. It still merits an apology to her though.
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