Hey! I am Shianne! i can honestly say that i am completely sure that i can help you with any problem! this is what i do...ive help many people and ive done some amazing things!!
shianne
E-mail: y0or-honeediip@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Lynn Ma.
Occupation: Councelor
Age: 18
Member Since: February 1, 2005
Answers: 34
Last Update: March 16, 2006
Visitors: 3451
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Everytime I look in the mirror I feel horrible I mean people tell me I'm beautiful or w/e but I just don't see it and I really swear I CANNOT SEE IT. Then, my best friends I've like blocked them from my emotions and my thoughts because I feel like their fake liars...it just feels everythings going to crumble and I wanna cry for no reason. Is this something teens go through or do I need to talk to someone? (link)
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hello! well what you are goin through does happen to alot of people. honestly...everybody has looked in the mirror at one time (including beyonce) and thought they were ugly and thought that everyone around them lied and said they were pretty...this happens! everyone becomes insecure,.,but some people take it to levels that can get out of control.most people who are feeling that insecure are people who try and be someone that they are not. like if a punk rock girl tries to be "preppy" shes going to feel very insecure because it just isnt her,,,always be yourself and remember that everyone truly is beautiful and everyone has someone else out there that thinks they are beautiful! if you have both your legs and arms and you have no disfigurement or anything...than you should be so lucky! theres people worse off than you! dont be concieted but also dont be insecure! love yourself and the way you look and i promise youll be fine! yes you should see someone...it will help and the insecurity can go deeper than we think
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13/f. Every day, I feel so lonely. It's like I'm an inanimate object. Nobody ever even seems to realize I'm alive. Nobody cares about me at all. I have no friends except my parents---that doesn't count. I try to make friends, but nobody ever gives me a second thought. In fact, I haven't had a single person at my house since I was 9. Nobody ever considers my feelings; if anyone has seen "Chicago," I feel exactly like the person singing "Cellophane." I cry like crazy every single evening at bedtime. It makes me want to do something outrageous just to see if someone would notice. Sometimes I wonder whether anyone would notice if I died. 5's to anyone who seems to emphathize... (link)
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hey sweetie! let me start out with this! see if you follow me...we all grow and change right? well thik of this...just as we grown and change physically...we do it mentally and just as we go through puberty...and menopause...we have mental stages to. at your age(which im not to far from) is an age where are hormones are raging and things are starting to happen! your first year as a teenager will probally be one of the most stressful because the smaller things are getting to you. the most popular girl at school with the most boyfriends goes through the same thing that your going through. it happens! you feel like you want to act out because its like your this one girl in the whole wide world and no one notices you! its like standing in a crowded room and screaming at the top of your lungs and no one can hear you! i promise you will get through this and eventually people will notice you. dont do anything drastic or rebellious. people care about you. the best thing to do is to see a therapist. they can pinpoint problems and help you deal with them. it does help! you have my word! keep me posted...i care about u!!! = ]
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I'm a sophomore in high school and sometime during my freshman year, I lost interest in boys my own age (and, for that matter, boys even remotely close to my age) and became interested in men. I was sure that it was a phase that all girls go through but I've found that I can't get over it and I'm totally unattracted to men that aren't at least eight years older than I am. I haven't pursued my interest in older men because I'm aware that I'm underaged and I could get a man into trouble but I feel like this interest is crippling me socially. I don't think I could EVER date a boy close to my age because I'm just not attracted to them but if I'm going to have to wait until I'm eighteen to find someone I'm really attracted to, should I just settle for someone close to my age? Is it normal for young woman to want men that much older than they are? (link)
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hey! yes...to answer your question! it is extremely common for a young girl to have a desire to date older men. the reasons actually are deeper than the surface and has alot to do with our "relative mind" i did alot of studying of dianetics and thats where this comes to play and i wont get into it because its very complex and confusing psychology work but to be brief about it,,,it is common and your not out of the norm! however the problem is,,,yes you can get older men into trouble! think of this...why wouldnt you want to date someone who is closer to your stage in life? honestly...dating someone who is at the age when they should be starting a career and you havent even graduated high school yet is a bad idea! in the long run it will not work out for the better, if you are not interested in guys your age right now thats ok...date someone a few years older or a few years mature! maybe a nice college boy! go for it...
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ok well there's this guy i like his name is kevin and he's a sophmore at mah school... and ya well the problem is that he only likes me as a friend.. but i still like him.. and now his friends make fun of me. and now we're still friends. but for some reason i hate him sometimes and other times i juz really like him !! and i've tried to get over him but i can't cuz like i c him after every class period!? so i dunno what to do!!! HELP ME pleese. (link)
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Hi! Well I hear what you are saying...it makes perfect sense, you like a guy that likes you as a friend and you both have different feelings for eachother,,,the reason you probally feel like you hate him sometimes is because we automatically get negative feelings towards someone or something that causes us stress...even if its someone we love...the best thing to do is try your hardest to be able to remain friends with him. if you are 100% sure that you both will never amount to more than a friendship then you need to decide if you can even remain friends with him, if not then you should be straight up honest about it. tell him that you have stronger feelings for him and that friends isnt enough for you...but if friendship is enough then stay friends with him...65% of girls have fallen for a friend...it happens and many times its because we confuse our feelings sometimes but you will get over it,,,if i didnt answer this correctly or you want to know more...just email me or ask me another question on my column sweetie! good luck and remember things always move forward!!!
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I dated this guy for like six weeks, feelings got involved mostly on my behalf, but I broke it off because he freaks when he gets close to people and I didnt wanna get hurt, hes too young (17, and I am 21) and I felt like I paid for everything (His train down to see me, cinema, food, clubbing, presents) he only ever got me one thing on valentines day that cost £3.00. He also meets peps for random sex off the net, and is well known as a whore. It gets worse as I HAVE to see him every week in my youth group, and I still have feelings for him. My friends define him as poison, how do I deal with this situation of seeing him every week, and Ijust know hes gonna sleep around the group, and hurt me more...I have been so depressed these past two weeks.
(link)
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First of all let me say hi! well you shoukd be extrememly proud of yourself for taking the first step and breaking it off with him because that would of been the advice givin to you if you didnt! so..now its time to get over him! it seems difficult now but believe you me...time does heal all! its hard because you see him daily but if you just pay no mind to him (or pretend to pay no mind =] ) then eventually it will be fine and thats a promise! = ] good luck!
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well im 15/f
and lately ive just been wanting to go out and party..have fun..hook up with boys! lol im not usually the party girl ive been known to be the innocent girl who doesnt do stuff like that..and thats why i dont usually get invited to parties and either does my best friend who i hangout with ALOT! i am not friends with that many guys..but i wanna be..but you see im not all the 'outgoing' if you wanna say..i wanna be but i always get so embarassed and i dont know why! im not one to make the first move or anything..but i dont know im jealous of all these people who know like EVERYONE! ive gone to the mall and movies..havent met any people and i dono it doesnt help that me and my best friend are both shy..but i recently have been hangin out with this one girl that knows alotta people but yeah im nervous to meet anyone..im insecure about myself and alla the people want to do stuff like finger and have sex..give blwojobs..and im not ready for that..sometimes i feel like i have to tho just to like have funn!! i know i know..if im not ready dont do it but i dont know my life is so effed up right now all i wanna do is have a good time and meet a bunch of new people..it also doesnt help that i dont have my license yet..or does my other friends what can i do for my situation? i will RATE!! ♥ (link)
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hi there..its very hard because its like if you dont drink smoke and party,,,then what do you do? sit in the corner and talk to urself? eventually you will be respected for not being the party drinker type. right now its the thing to do...ppl are always attracted to the different type...you can still do everything you want and have fun but if you going to go to parties and they are goin to be drinking...you are going to do the same because you arent going to be able to control youself. so becareful but have fun
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what exactly does it mean to be friends with benefits? like what is different about it than being b/f and g/f? thanks (link)
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friends with bnefits is like being bf and gf with no strings attatched...for some people this is great and they love it...but its also an easy way to get hurt if you are both not on the same page..
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well ive got some problems. I ahve had some bad thots like suicidal and stuff and keep thinking to myself what i have the power to do and stuff. well i am also really depressed sometimes and fake with people. thers only one person im true to but thast besides the point. Anyway i think there is something really rong with me and i just wanna find out what it is. (link)
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hy there...u may have some depression...you are not alone and you can get help.. everyone becomes depressed sometimes.. you should definatley make an appointment with a theapist. trust me you will feel alot better when you recieve proffsional help. always realize no matter how bad things get on this earth that can be so awful sometimes....its the only place we know! nobody lives forever and you should want to stay on this earth for as long as your intended to! no matter how bad things get remember that there is always a way of things workin themselves out! you have to think about these things! if you commit suicide u dont know what is goin to happen! everyone is soo lucky to be put on this planet! i know this all sounds cheezy but its all tru! you should call a doctor right away because depression is a real disease that can be treated! good luck things can only get better! be patient and remmber suicide is the biggest most selfish crime you could commit! you are not only ruining and ending your life but you will hurt alo of people around you and put a lastin negative effect on everyone around you even if you dont feel ne 1 would care!
good luck
yours truly
shianne
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hi im 13 and i havent started my period i am a bigger gurl and a lot of the smaller gurl have and im just waiting...im afraid that theres sumthin wrong with me....wat do i do ? (link)
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Its not to abmormal to not have started your period yet. girls start at different times. the average age is between 11-12yrs of age but its still not abnormal to get it between the ages 9-16. and even then some girls go way outside the range. however as a young woman you have every right to be concerned about your body and what is going on. make an appointment with your doctor or talk to your parents about maybe seeing a gynocologist because they specialize in this line of medical care. i dont believe you have anything to worry about and its ok to be a late starter. but stress is not healthy at all so to make you feel more comfortable you should go see a doctor.
good luck!
shianne
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My boyfriend, Ed, and I been together for almost 8 months but we dated for a month before that. He is 18 and I'm 17. Everything was pretty good the 1st few months, few fights but nothing major. Then it seems as we hit the 6 month mark everything went way down. His family doesn't think I'm good enough, the have called me a slutty whore, cum dumpster, conceited, high mantience. At 1st, my boyfriend would stick up for me but then his siblings told their mom that we had sex infront of them and that I tried to seduce the 13 year old brother. Both of which are not true. So I was told I was not allowed to call or go over their house. Its been hard but we have dealt with it, but now Ed, is being a lot meaner to me. He'll blow off plans with me, show up 3 hours late, it seems everything is up to him. His friends hate me, he is nice when its just me and him, but add any of his friends and he's an ass. I love him and I lost my virginity to him and he is also my best friend. But I can't take this anymore. I;m sick of him blowing me off and only hanging out with me when he has nothing better to do. Do you think I should stay with him and try and work this out or just say fuck it and move on. One last thing, I hate being alone so I think the reason I have held on for so long is because I don't want to be lonely. (link)
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hey sweetheart...ur in an extremeley difficult situation! the stress your going through must be exhausting! first of all you need to ask yourself if you are sure you love him enough to continue to go through the struggle to be with him and get through the fact that you do not have the acceptance of his friends and family. if the answer to that question is yes...you need to have a talk with him and see what is going on. you need to find out if there is a specific problem then you need to find out why that is. on the other hand if you dont feel the love is worth it..or if you know in your heart it isnt going to work out,..then you need to get yourself out of the relationship which will be difficult but may save u from future pain. i understand you do not want to be lonely but maybe its time for you to learn how to be happy with yourself and learn that you dont need a man in your life to feel loved and unlonely.this is the perfect oppurtunity to make big decisions in your life and find out whats best for you.
i wish u the best of luck...bless you!!
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I have been dating this boy his name is Lynn, for about 6 months but we broke up about 2 weeks ago, and he wanted me to change because he said that i was getting to attached or somehting and that we needed to work on how we always fight. So I've been working really hard and I've changed a lot because I've been talking to my counsuler at school about other problems going on and that has taken a lot of stress off of me and I've changed so much but I still am in love with him so much and he tells me that we will get back together but he don't know when i can't wait much longer I just miss him and i need him back! What do I do? I am 14 and I'm female (link)
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I think at this point what you need to do is strengthen yourself up enough to learn to let him go! i know its hard but you need to stop waiting and hurting for him! If you become less unhappy and move on...you'll feel better and he might gain respect for you and want you back and then you can decide if you want him back or not! everyone wants what they cant have! thats why you want him so bad! so switch roles...good luck!
keep me posted!
shianne
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OK me and my mom always teld to get in arguments and stuff! and she has always drinked and stuff even b 4 i was born!when ever she gets drunk and stuff shes always a bitch! and one time i hit her and i felt really bad! and she still drinks and me and my dad dont know what to do! he always calls the cops on her and stuff and says hes gonna make her move out but he never does! she is still living here! most kids wouldnt want their parents to get divorced! but im praying every night that thaey do! i dont realy care! and im having problems at skool and no 1 likes me! and when i say no 1 i mean no 1! i have like 4 friends @ my whole skool! and ppl always want to fight me! i have alot of drama in my life and i dont know what 2 do! i hate break ups and bad stuff ALWAYS comes 2 me! my friends turn against me and so do my bfs! and soo are my parents! my dad always yells @ me! and he drinks 2! just not as much as my mom! somtimes i really think about not living! like runnin away or whatever! should i! i cry everynight! yesterday i didnt go to skool cause i was cryin cause i hate my skool! and my parents wont transfer me and they dont never do anything about my problems! what should i do i need really bad help! i rate 5s! IM me on AIM southpolehunny14 to talk! THANX!! KAYLA!! (link)
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Kayla,
hello sweetheart! you seem like a wonderful honest person and i know exactly what your going through! usually when i am answering peoples questions i leave my personal life out of it but i need to tell you about what i did...my mother drinks alot and she was very mean...my father moved away and i was going through alot! i moved out and lived with relatives. sometimes you need to get away! there are many services out there and you can take advantage of them! if your having trouble at school and you hate it that much and you cant handle where you live maybe you should consider job core or a ged program. you can always call the department of social services and they will do everything they can to help you! Like i said i went through the same thing and i lived in about 20 different places because no one i lived with liked me and i had a lot of drama in my life and had trouble in school...but i didnt give up and now i have tons of friends and a job and im about to have my own apartment in a few months so dont give up and sorry for talking about myself so much but i wanted to show you that ur not alone and not to give up! if u ever want to talk just write me on my page or im me...and i'd love for you to keep me posted! i loved your question and i want to know what happens to you!
shianne
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It's really had for me to talk with my Mom now. I talk TO her all the time, but never WITH her. Every time I bring anything up she gets really mad and just says "You're pissing me off,leave now!" I mean, come on! How hurtful is that? I have problems with lot's of things and I can't do it alone, But It's just impossible to get her to talk with me. How can I? (link)
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Well first of all know that you are not alone! this happens to about 1 out of 5 teens! very common! i know its hard to get her to engage and participate in a serious conversation but you need to just sit down with her and tell her how you feel! state that you go through alot and it bothers you that she is your mother and you cant even talk to her! suggest counceling..i know that sounds corny but honestly you should try it! it will really help! good luck!
shianne
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hi SHIANNE WELL WELL WELL U ARE FINALLY A THERAPIST! AWWW U GO GIRL! I LOVE YOU AND I WANNA TAKE YOU TO THE CANDY SHOP AND I PROMISE ILL LET YOU LICK THE LOLIPOP...BUT YOU CANT STOP TILL YOU HIT THE SPOT,,,YOU KNO WHERE IT IS? HAHA YA YOU DO I LOVE YOU GORGEOUS AND IMA CALL YOU AND WE GON CHILL SOON OK BABY SEXY BEAUTIFUL ffuucckkiinngg PRINCESS. BYE oooh GIVE ME SUM SEXY ADVICE.:)
Brandon (link)
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Bandon,
yes hi hunni i love you to but you are interfering with my proffesional workspace! im glad you left a message but you used vulger language and innapropriate suggestive material! so please dont! lol i love you and my advice to you is, realize i am diabetic and i cant likk lolipops and...i have no idea where the spot is and also...please yes do call and we will chill! love you to bye
shianne
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im 14 and my sister is 17. she has a boyfriend that shes really close with and a just got a car. shes supposed to come every other weekend but since she got her car she never comes. shes always at her boyfriends and if she does come she just leaves anyways. i really love spending time with her and i miss her a lot cause i never see her anymore. i know that shes older and doesnt want to spend time with her family, but i still do. what should i do? i dont know if i could really talk to her. (link)
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Talk to your sister! thats the best thing you can do! tell her how much you love her and miss spending time with her and explain that u understand that she is older and wants to be with her boyfriend! be persistent and spill your heart! your her baby sister shell understand! im 17 and my sis is 14 to,,,its the same situation and if she comes to me and says she misses me i make sure i make time for her!
good luck
shianne
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Hey, my family might move from here in Wisconsin to Florida. I want to sooo bad for the weather. But I just can't leave all my friends here. i love em all to death. And my best friend and I are really close and it will be so hard for me to leave her, and everyone else. How can I not miss her so much?? (link)
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its very hard to move away from a place where you have established many things like friends, however although it may be very difficult at first you may love the change! you can stay in contact with your close friends and have them fly down for a visit! or maybe she can go with you there while you move and her parents can fly her back. you never know. you may love to start a new life in a beautiful warm place! and eventually you will see your friend, if the friendship is strong enough...it will make it through this! and maybe you two can make plans so that when you both turn 18 you can move in together! maybe shell want to move to florida!
good luck
shianne
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Hey you guys!
MiSSc here, OK so here's an update from me...I have a boyfriend now and we've been going out for a month. He asked me out on Valentines Day too. I love my boyfriend so much!! He's everything that I wanted in a guy. Exactly everything that I've ever wanted in a guy! I thought I was in love many times before, but now I know that it wasn't true love. But this time I think I finally found the one for me, even my mom thinks so and our friends too. But I'm only 15, we will both be turning 16 soon. Do you think that its possible to find love so young? (link)
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It seems like you are very happy. but it also seems like maybe your a little confused. you should maybe stop asking yourself all these complicated questions. its great that your boyfriend does all these great things for you and makes you happy! and hopefully you will experience this for a long time! however, if you dont get married...or you two break up...dont think that it is the end of the world because it really isnt! and maybe you 2 will make it through everything and end up getting married,,.anythings possible! or maybe where as you both are so young...you might eventually take a break may it be for personal reasons...or college or whatever the case may be. i wish you the best of luck with him and i hope you remain happy with your love life no matter what happens..but dont dwell on the what ifs!
good luck
shianne
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Ive met this great man and we get along in all aspects, but from the start he has said hes not sure about a relationship because of his past. Hes been so hurt and has built this huge wall around him. I have made it clear from the beginning that i do want a relationship. Who doesnt want to be loved as long as its with the right person? He has just recently figured out that i have started having feelings for him and it scares him. Now im scared of how honest to be with him about it because i dont want to lose him from my life, hes also a great friend. On the other hand i wish there was something i could do to get him to see how great we would be in a relationship. Help me, ive been seriously hurt in the past as well and i dont like this feeling i have in my stomach. What should i do? I am 33 years old and hes 36 and we both have children from previous relationships. (link)
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Sometimes its hard when two people are on opposite sides of the fence in a relationship. you can still be honest with him without scaring him. take things slow and let him know that you are willing to be patient. give him time. once someone is hurt its hard to trust people again. it sounds like he cares about you if he was willing to open up to you! dont give up to soon if this is something that you really want. however, if you feel like you are expecting way to more out of this situation than he is...maybe you should reconsider some things...to avoid being hurt ten times worse in the long run!
good luck!
shianne
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To Hard to belive i went to paris and in the 4 days i was there 3 amazing things happened i got my 1st boyfriend (he asked me out in Versailles in the hall of mirrors) The next day I turned 14 and then on the 12 hour plane ride back I got my first kiss. Is that to hard to belive? Or am i just thinking it is and over reacting. I just dont no what to do and i am new at this but how can i make a move??
So what i am asking is:
Is this to much and to overwhealming?
How can i make a move
14f and he is also 14 almost 15 (link)
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wow what a trip! awesome! well call him up and make plans! but just let nature take its course dont rush things! this is your first boyfriend and you need to experience a relationship and how it takes time to work! your still young so dont fool yourself! love takes time it could be years before you feel it but just stay confortable and relax! have fun!
shianne
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I am a thirteen year old girl and I have a close male friend. We usually get on quite well and we are always talking and hugging. We used to be attracted to each other and he on/off still is to me but I don't feel that way about him. Everyone says we act like we're a couple and that we should get together but I honestly don't want to. We are very close but are we too close? I admit I hug him more than my other friends but I don't have any feelings for him. So is it wrong to be this close to him if we're not in a relationship? (link)
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sometimes girls and guys form a bind that is very strong. others get confused why these two people of the oppisite sex are so close! but focusing on what others think isnt what is important right now. its not wrong at all to be that close with him as long as you feel comfortable. its good that you have a friendship with a male because its awesome to have that male contact without all the sexual and relationship mess! stay friends with him if you really like him and dont let anyone tell you otherwise!
good luck!
shianne
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