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Ex-BF is killing me
I dated this guy for like six weeks, feelings got involved mostly on my behalf, but I broke it off because he freaks when he gets close to people and I didnt wanna get hurt, hes too young (17, and I am 21) and I felt like I paid for everything (His train down to see me, cinema, food, clubbing, presents) he only ever got me one thing on valentines day that cost £3.00. He also meets peps for random sex off the net, and is well known as a whore. It gets worse as I HAVE to see him every week in my youth group, and I still have feelings for him. My friends define him as poison, how do I deal with this situation of seeing him every week, and Ijust know hes gonna sleep around the group, and hurt me more...I have been so depressed these past two weeks.
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I think your friends are right about this guy, even though "poison" is sort of harsh. Being depressed after a breakup is pretty much guaranteed even if you're the one who did the breaking up. Try your best to ignore him at youth group when you go. And look at it this way: You've got six other days of the week where you *don't* have to see him. Make the most of those days, and when you do have to see him... go out and do something fun after youth group. Spend the money that you would have spent on him on something nice for yourself. You shouldn't have to spend all of your hard earned money on some punk kid that's just looking for a handout. You deserve better than that.
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With the little that you've told us, I would describe your relationship as a (Love Hate) relationship. These relationships are often more difficult because they are emotionally confusing. The good feelings often feel like love and are just about as powerful, but the bad feelings such as hate eventually take over.
The best thing you can do is break off all communication with him and about him. Since you have to see him, communicate only what is necessary and make it matter of factly. If someone tries to tell you about him sleeping around. Simply say "I don't want to hear it". If they talk about it in your presence, excuse yourself from the room.
I was once in what I call a toxic relationship and one thing that helped me the most was a book called "Breaking your addiction to a person" I know the book is still avialable because I recently told a friend about it.
Another way of looking at things, you filled up his love bank by paying for everything, and yours was overdrawn because he didn't deposit anything back. You can't continue to function in life when your bank is empty.
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First of all let me say hi! well you shoukd be extrememly proud of yourself for taking the first step and breaking it off with him because that would of been the advice givin to you if you didnt! so..now its time to get over him! it seems difficult now but believe you me...time does heal all! its hard because you see him daily but if you just pay no mind to him (or pretend to pay no mind =] ) then eventually it will be fine and thats a promise! = ] good luck!
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i think you should drop him because he sounds like a lousy boyfriend. you gotta find a man who's your age and can take care of you and PAY sometimes. About the youth group thing, just try to keep your mind off of him. i knoe that its hard, but its possible to forget about him....you dont need him anyway!!!
-Dayna
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wow he sounds horrible. just know your the better person. hes not the kind of person you want to involve yourself with anyway. dont wrory about having to see him since you know he wasnt worth your time. i dont know what to tell you about if he sleeps with people in your youth group... thats just low. i just hope its not a church youth group. anyway your better than him. dont forget that. whenever your around him just try not to think about how much you like him or what he did to you but instead think about your friends and hang with them dont worry about him. hes not your problem anymore. hope i helped.
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